The Divine Comedy
by flaming-dingleberry
Summary: CoAuthor: Shadoobie, sequel to Black Phoenix and My Immortal Emotion. The four guardians of Spira return. Filled with profanity, cheap, meaningless sex, and booze, which would explain the rating.
1. Prison's a Bitch

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter One  
Prison's a Bitch**

FDB- Here's your freaking sequel! Now get off my back!

How long had it been? How long for him…years, four maybe? Yes, that's about right. Four years that seemed to pass in a mist over his eyes and his mind. They were long, heavy years. Jamison Black still thought back the days of yesteryears past. The days where he wasn't alone, where he was somewhat content with his life; the days where every morning meant waking up next to the one you loved with a moderate chance of getting another year shaved off of your life. It was a sacrifice he would gladly make.

Now, with those moments gone, he was bored out of his mind. Sure, being nineteen and all had its ups and downs, what with college and all. However, there was something lacking…an outlet for his frustrations; that and a good shag every once and a while. Yes, boo-hoo.

Well, he thought; at least it hasn't gotten to the point where I miss that fucking Fayth Kid. And he laughed a little. I suppose that was the only upside to it.

Right now he was profoundly busy with lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling with the expression of a full-blown stoner on his face. What else could he really do? He didn't have anything for school to do, as if he cared anyway. He would sit just like this for hours if no one disturbed him. If anyone knocked on his door, even if it was his faggot of a room mate, he'd throw heavy objects to make them leave. Of course his roommate wouldn't go away, but hell, can't blame him for trying.

Out of impulse he looked out the window. It was dark out, perhaps ten o'clock. The moon was a bright crescent and there were no clouds in the sky tonight. It was relatively warm too. Suddenly he felt a craving for coffee. Hell, there was a place down the street. Why not go? For the first time in eight hours, give or take, he got off the bed, put on a light leather coat and left the dorm building.

Jamie walked down the street staring at the sidewalk, noting the infinite cracks and the splitting seems in his own shoes. It was just another day in the life. S.S.D.D. Yeah, you know the drill.

It was just another run down convenience store, but it had damn good coffee. Since he'd started coming here it had always been. He came in often enough for the little old lady behind the counter to start calling him "Sonny". He didn't like it but he was polite. You have to respect your elders…for some reason.

He stood at the coffee maker and waited, thinking whether he wanted sugar in it or not. He never cared for it much, but something made him crave it. He had a bad case of dry mouth and a hellacious sweet tooth. Sure, why not. His days were still going to be twenty-four hours long no matter what he put in his fucking coffee. Ooh, ding dongs.

It was under five bucks for everything. He left with his coffee and lingered just outside for a while. Jamie paid no attention to the people that passed by, ignoring their shady glances. He didn't much care for what people thought of him. He didn't have to fuck them, so he didn't give a rat's ass.

Soon his plastic cup was empty and the snacks were eaten. He threw the trash away and was heading back towards the dorms. He had an exam tomorrow and it wouldn't hurt to do a little more studying. It was now nearly midnight. He looked at the moon and it gave him a sense of comfort. It had been doing that for a few weeks now. Someone suddenly shoved passed his shoulder, nearly knocking him over.

"Watch where you're going, bitch." A man calling him a bitch? When the hell did that happen? He didn't get the memo.

Jamie gave him a dirty look but didn't say anything. He watched him disappear in a nearby alley. He began to walk on, thinking nothing more of it, but then he stopped. He recognized that voice. Jamie's mind played on automatic rewind, recalling back to a particular point in time. He remembered Central Park, years ago, and a loud bang following an echoing statement that at one time haunted him.

_Ice his bitch_.

It was him.

Jamie felt a flame start in the pit of his gut as he turned on his heel and followed the guy. He had a fine idea to repay him for that shove, and a few other things he had coming to him. Jamison was angry, his face turning slightly red and his fists clenching tightly. Adrenaline was becoming like heroin; addictive and empowering. Got to love this shit.

He descended like a shadow down the alley. He noted how two more had joined the one who pushed him. No matter. The three of them were all involved. What sort of twisted luck was on his side today? He felt a little giddy to be honest.

They noticed him at the very last second. The one who had pulled the trigger turned to confront him.

"What the fuck you want, man?" Jamison didn't answer him. The thug was about to give him a warning from the business end of a revolver but he wasn't fast enough. In one swift, instinctual movement, Jamie took his face in both hands and ripped his bottom jaw from his skull. He was dead in an instant as his blood sloshed onto the pavement. The other two looked on in disgusted terror. This cracker was fucking crazy!

Jamison felt warm fluids on his face and spat out the taste of copper as he grinned. The other two reached for a weapon, one having a gun as well while the other tried to run as he searched for anything he could use. With a shaking hand the pistol was aimed at his head. Jamison only snickered.

One could barely see him as Jamison moved forward, grabbing the man's wrist, twisting it behind his back and making him pull the trigger, the barrel just behind his head. It made an ever so lovely red mess on the dark brick wall. His limp body dropped to the asphalt with a heavy thud just like the other one. What a fascinating sound.

Jamie picked up both of the discarded fire arms and casually advanced to stand behind the third one, who was still groveling in the garbage for a makeshift weapon. When he noticed the Black Death looming over him he froze, falling onto his backside and losing all the color in his face. He trembled like a trapped animal. To Jamison he was. Nothing more, plenty less. He was so afraid he couldn't even force out a suitable plea for his life to be spared.

Jamie raised his hands, barrels pointed downward at his cowering prey.

"Ice this."

Eleven more shots were heard that night. It was quiet afterwards.

Jamison laughed a little to himself as he looked down at all of the dead bodies. It was actually kind of pretty in this light. The reds and blacks spilled over shadows and darkened shapes. It would've been a cool background for his laptop; something nifty to show off in art class. Yes, I am a sick-o. We've been through this already.

Jamie didn't really give a shit when he heard sirens coming closer, zeroing in on his position. He wasn't going to run. Why bother? If they didn't take him in now they would later so why delay the inevitable? Besides, there was no punishment for what he'd done. For all he was concerned he just did the world a favor. He had no regrets.

He sat down and leaned against a still clean wall, blinking at the flashing lights at the exit of the alley. It seemed to surprise the officers when they saw him with both guns in his hands, showing no sign of remorse or cowardice at their arrival. They expected him to flee.

"Took you guys long enough to get here." He said as he looking up with a blood tarnished grin. He wasn't looking at the cops; he was focusing beyond them at the crescent moon, feeling the subtle comfort of its light.

"_Rest in peace, Stephanie."_

_(II)_

He hated having to be away from her for so long. It almost killed him to convince her to stay behind. His excuse was that his temple superiors wanted to see him; that it was best he went alone. She gave him this pouting face and he nearly cried. He had to throw himself onto the ship.

Well, Dennison's pretext wasn't totally inaccurate. He had received word from his instructor to meet in Luca. He couldn't imagine what for. However, that wasn't the only reason why he insisted to go alone. He had a more personally errand to run while he was in the city. It had been almost three days since he'd left his relatively new home on Besaid, and every hour made him miss it that much more. He hated being separated from Andrea. True, it had been a solid month since the Black Phoenix incident, but it still concerned him to be apart from her. He worried.

It was early afternoon when the ship docked in Luca harbor. He went straight ahead to meet his instructor. They met just outside the stadium near the reception desk.

"Good to see you, sir. I came as soon as I got the message."

"I understand. It must be a great distance between Besaid and here, what with having to dock overnight in Kilika. How are things?"

"As well as can be expected. It's been quite peaceful."

"That's good to know. I heard of what had happened and I just had to ask."

"I appreciate it, sir. So what is it you wished to see me about?"

"Well, when all of us heard of your involvement, we agreed that you had potential beyond that of a mere apprentice."

Dennis looked at him curiously.

"It has been decided that you be promoted to the level of novice White Mage. Now you can study spells at your own discretion." And the high priest handed him a gold chain to be put around his wrist.

"I'm honored, sir, honestly; but are you sure? After all I didn't do anything without help."

"We understand that, but we still have faith in you. Our decision stands."

"Thank you, sir. Will that be all? I'm afraid I have other business here and I would like to make the next ship home."

"Of course, of course. I will see you again. Do try to keep in touch with us, would you?"

"I will do my best, sir. Goodbye."

Well, that wasn't so bad after all. He'd half figured to be excommunicated. Couldn't imagine why. Anyway, now it was off to do something important.

He'd spoken to Yuna before he left and she'd told him of the perfect place to find what he needed. She noted the possibility of a moderate discount if he mentioned her name to the clerk there. Hell, with his pockets dwindling on empty he could use one. Dennis found the store he was looking for on the inner sector of the city. Right next door to the pub, go figure. A little bell rang when he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Good day to you," there was a tall, burly, silver furred Ronso standing behind the counter. His massive hands almost completely covered the top of it. He looked at Dennis with bright yellow eyes and cat's grin. He could understand considering no one else was in his store. He wasn't surprised that the owner was happy to see him.

"Same to you," he nodded.

"What is it you look for?"

"High Summoner Yuna referred me," he replied. "I was looking for a gift."

"With that I can help you." He sounded slightly humbled at the Summoner being mentioned. "What sort of gift?"

"I was wondering what you might have in terms of a ring."

"Come and see, my friend; I have much," and the Ronso walked over to a glass case a few paces away from the counter. "I have many styles and many metals. I also have a variety of stones and settings."

Dennis looked through the glass pane at what was on display. The Ronso was right and he was impressed at what he had. Many of them had to have been handcrafted. His eyes settled on one in particular. It was simple, but it was quite the beauty.

"Tell me about that one," and he pointed to the silver band with the blue gems.

"It's a fine one, quite rare. Ronso don't make many of these." He said as he took it out from beneath the glass and set it out so Dennis could look at it more closely.

It was a simple silver ring with four deep blue stones set in it. There was a bright red fire star gem fixed in the center.

"It's gorgeous. Why wouldn't the Ronso make them?"

"Disrespect."

Dennis lifted an eyebrow at him. He asked for an explanation.

"There's a legend among the Ronso about these two stones being sacred. Two of the creators of Spira were lovers, and the stones were created as a celebration of their union. They wanted the people they created to know the beauty and solidity of their love."

Dennis laughed. That was funny, in an ironic way. The Ronso saw him smiling and grinned himself. He understood. This White Mage was aiming for a celebration of his own.

"Should I get a box for it?" the Ronso asked.

"How much?"

The Ronso stroked his chin for a moment. "I will sell it to you for sixty. Is that acceptable?"

He couldn't believe his good luck. "Sixty is all? Of course, thank you so much!"

Dennison paid him and put the new purchase securely in his pocket.

"Do come again if you should need me."

"I will, and thank you again."

He felt rather proud of himself. Dennis smiled all the way back to the harbor where he caught the next boat for Besaid. He couldn't wait to get back, nearly willing to jump ship and swim if it meant returning sooner. It seemed things were starting to look up.

The ship landed in Besaid the next evening. Dennis was one of the first to disembark. He noticed no one waiting for him. Well, it was almost dark; people would begin settling down for the night soon. However, the sun was up just enough to where the ocean looked like it was on fire and you could still see enough to walk the trail to the village without much worry. He went on ahead, itching to be back in his element. Not to mention the ring was burning a hole in his side as it remained in his pocket.

Dennison passed the waterfalls, the bridges, and the old ruins. He was making his way towards the top of the hill, where the monument was when he heard a faint strain of music. He stopped for a moment to listen and then continued. He crested the hill and stood still, watching as Andrea sat on a stone and played. Dennis had never known how skilled she was, but he was well educated to the contrary. Her instrument was what she called an "acoustic". It was six string guitar and she was very good at it. He must've stood there for about ten minutes before the music stopped.

"It's called Orion." She said.

"You knew I was standing here?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to finish playing. That's one of my favorite songs." She got up, setting the guitar down and hurriedly walked up and embraced him. There was no denying that she was happy to have him back. They shared a kiss and then just looked at each other.

"How did everything go?"

"Oh, just fine. I'm no longer an apprentice mage. That's what the high priest wanted to see me for." And he showed her the gold chain around his wrist.

"That's wonderful! The others are going to be happy to hear it."

"I suppose so. What about _you_; you didn't miss me too much did you?"

Andrea rolled her eyes playfully. "I thought I was going to die."

"Oh come now; it's couldn't have been that bad,"

"It _was_! I hate it when you go," she gave him that pout again. That was the last straw. He would never leave her behind again, only to save himself from that face.

"Well, come one, it's getting dark and I'm sure you're tired from your trip." Andrea led him by the hand to the village.

Yuna was about to go inside and ready herself for bed when she saw the two of them come into view. She couldn't help but smile. They looked so cute together it was almost nauseating. Mostly she was glad that their relationship was intact after everything that happened. She wasn't sure how, but one way or another they made it through together. It was something to be admired.

The High Summoner gave him a friendly hug and was glad he'd returned safely. The three of them were caught up in conversation for a long while after that. During their talk Yuna noticed Dennis's hand had been jammed in his pocket the whole time. The two White Mages exchanged glances and Dennis gave her and excited sort of smile. She knew what he was thinking and tried her best not to blow his cover.

"Actually, Andrea; there's something I want to ask you."

She looked curiously at him and said "okay". Dennis took the guitar out of her hand and let Yuna hold it for just a moment. He then knelt down, not caring he was getting dirt on his pants. Andrea looked down at him, uncertain as to what he was doing.

With a red face and shaking hands, he took a deep breath as he opened the small box and showed her the ring.

"Will you marry me?"

At first she could only look at him in surprise. When the immediate shock left her she made an attempt to laugh the tears of happiness away as she agreed.

"Yes, I will,"

Dennis stood up and put the ring on her finger.

What a wonderful age this was turning out to be.

_(III)_

It had been a couple of weeks now. Jamison was accustomed to wearing an orange jumpsuit and being escorted everywhere he went.

After being arrested he was quickly booked and put in a cell. Nothing too exciting. Soon after they asked that he write out his confession which he didn't much care to do. It wasn't like he was going to deny it. He didn't go into much detail and stuck to the basics of the event. Sure, he could've mentioned how slap-ass happy he was to see the little fuckers dead, or how the moonlight reflected nicely off the pools of blood left behind; maybe even say how he wanted to dance around naked with joy. But it really wouldn't affect the outcome of anything. Just write it, he said to himself. The sooner you finish that sooner you don't have to look at that schmuck detective's face anymore.

He was kept in a moderate security lock up until his court date was set. It was maybe a week and a half that he had to wait. He had to attend in his ever so trendy jumpsuit and some fine chrome prison bling around his wrists and ankles. He actually thought it funny that they were so cautious. He laughed aloud a couple of times about it.

The state provided Jamie with a lawyer who he'd never seen but once before the trial. He was going to a shoot for a "moment of insanity" plea. Jamie really didn't care. If he was off his rocker when he pulled the trigger, so what? They were dead and gone and he couldn't be happier. He pleaded guilty anyway. By law he was, so there was no use in arguing.

The trial lasted maybe an hour and a half. The first hour was the defense and so on presenting their case and calling witnesses. There was slight shock when Jamison was allowed to have his say on the stand. The cross examination was cake, no matter how arrogantly the people's representative swaggered in front of everyone.

"Mr. Black; have you ever thought about killing anyone before?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Just answer the question."

"Yeah, maybe I have. Like I said, everyone does at least once in their life."

"Did you think about killing those three men?"

"Before I killed them? No, but I did _as_ I was doing it." And he smirked a little.

"So you're saying there was no premeditation involved in your actions?"

"Yeah."

The cross examiner nodded his head and paced a little before continuing.

"So tell the court," he paused. "_Why_ did you kill them?"

"Because they deserved it."

There was a gasp amongst the witnesses, and the attorney looked at him crookedly.

"Who are you to decide that, Mr. Black?"

"Because I was there when they killed an innocent woman. A woman that I loved. Because I had the chance to pull off what the system decided not to. You should be thanking me."

"So you're saying that the families of those men should be thanking you?"

"Objection," yelled the other notary. "Relevance,"

"Sustained. Please rephrase the question, prosecutor."

"If it pleases your honor I wish for the statement to be stricken from the record."

The judge nodded his head and it was so erased.

"Could you explain to the court exactly how they deserved you killing them?"

He thought they'd never ask. He went vividly through the gruesome details of that night those many years ago, how he and Stephanie had been mugged, attacked, and in the end she was shot and killed. He didn't expect sympathy from the jury for his story, and it was probably a good thing.

"Those three were useless wastes of flesh. They wasted their freedom of choice and it just so happened to get them killed. You actually expected me to just sit by and wait for the system to pass judgment? Hell no, that wasn't going to happen and you know it. If the system wouldn't do its job, I did it for them. And no, I don't wish I could change it. The only thing that would be different is that I would've made them suffer more."

The jury only deliberated for a quarter of an hour. Like you needed to know the verdict anyway. It's obvious enough.

"Jury, have you reached a verdict?"

"We have your honor." One of them replied. "We find the defendant, Jamison Black, guilty on three counts of voluntary manslaughter."

"There will now be a fifteen minute recess. We'll resume the session and I will decide your punishment."

The time passed. It only felt like a few minutes. The judge gave him two consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole until after he served a mandatory fifty. Not to mention it was a maximum security prison he was being shipped off to. Well, he didn't really care. Throughout the whole spiel he could see the judge's mouth moving but all he could hear was blah-blah-blah.

Jamison got to ride all by his lonesome in one of those corny white roadie vans. Yeah, you know the ones you wish you could demolish with graffiti and fingernail polish remover? Yup, one of those.

The prison was out in the middle of nowhere. The grounds were decked out in the usual razor wire fences and guard towers and so on-so forth. The main complex was three stories high and surrounded by a courtyard of concrete. Inside were plain gray marble tiles and rows of cell doors. It's a prison, what do you expect? Yes, I too thought of padded rooms and trampolines but that's just a lie. I know it hurts.

Jamie was led to a cell door that was opened by a guard that pressed a button on a switch board. There was a loud buzzing sound and the bars slid open. He stepped inside and turned around so that his cuffs could be taken off, then he watched as the bars rattled shut. All he did was shrug. It wasn't out of stress or despair, or even because he was tired. He shrugged just because he could.

He turned around to take a look at his new home but walked into what felt like a brick wall. This was a bright orange wall. Wait a minute…and Jamie looked up.

"Hey there,"

The bald giant had to have been at least eight feet tall and weigh no less than three hundred pounds. His voice sounded the roar of a semi-truck. An eighteen wheeler at that.

Jamie just stared him down.

"You're the new guy, aren't you?" he licked his top lip.

"So what?"

"Well, you know how every prison is supposed to have a 'Bubba'?"

"So?"

"Hi, my name's Bubba. Actually, Bubba's my middle name, but who cares?"

"Fuck off tinker-fag."

A few minutes later there was a great commotion amongst the other inmates. The guards came running ready to stomp out a riot. They had the shields, the tazers, the Kevlar gear and even the fire hoses. They advanced militarily down the cell block. The whole posse stopped when they noticed Bubba's head sticking out _through_ the steel bars of his cell. The giant was out cold.

They carefully maneuvered around and were shocked to see Jamie ever so comfortably sitting on the top bunk.

"Oh, howdy there boys. Sorry for all the fuss but you see I had my reasons. You know, it's amazing what you can do with the right amount of force and a jar of Vaseline." He laughed.

Author's Notes: Yup, it's part three. Aren't you all excited? Well damn, don't everyone jump up and dance at once. I'm writing this one with another author so I guess that's why I called the chapter that. Anyway, check out Flaming-Dingleberry on Don't know when the next chap will be done so just sit your asses down and hold it…I said hold it!


	2. Oh Well

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Two**

**Oh Well**

After the…Vaseline incident, as it had come to be known as, Jamie was hopping from cell to cell, never getting along with his roomies. What amused him the most is that they actually had to cut Bubba's head out of the bars. Bubba has never been the same since. But Jamie…it seemed like every guy he roomed with wanted a piece of his "sweet, virgin ass", as they liked to call it. And they all met the same fate as Bubba.

Jamie punished them a different way, but they never got to shove their pee-sticks in Jamie's shit-pocket. One guy was actually found with four broken ribs, folded in half. Interestingly enough, between each and every cell transfer, Jamie always ended up doing at least a week in solitary. Wonder why?

And that thing about dropping the soap? So true. But all the men in the showers left Jamie alone after the first guy tried it. Turns out none of them wanted a foot to the jaw either. In the short two months Jamie had been in prison, people had learned that if you messed with Jamison, he didn't care what the consequences were, as long as he got his point across. He spent so much time in solitary that the guards knew him as a regular, and one started calling him 'Sonny'. Hmmm, old lady déjà vu.

From the extra week Jamie spent in solitary, he could tell that the guard liked those teeth.

The warden finally decided to put Jamison in a cell with someone who would never make a move on him. "Put him in the cell with Twitchy."

The guy had spiky orange hair, one eye seemingly bigger than the other and a crooked grin on his face. Well, he couldn't criticize his hair, having cut his own a few days ago. Their styles didn't much differ. But Jamie didn't know whether to be scared or laugh at the Wile E. Coyote reject. But when he entered the cell, the freak never made a move.

They coexisted easily enough. Turns out, Twitchy was in for bank robbery. He had held up a bank and then made the mistake of stopping at the Taco Bell across the street for lunch. One of the bank tellers recognized him and the police arrested him. All things considered, Twitchy was a pretty cool guy. However, Jamie started losing sleep when the lunatic started muttering something about earth's sisters and moon shadows. And something about having stars in your eyes.

What-the fuck-ever…fruit cake. Well, at least it wasn't another Tinker-fag.

As it would turn out, Twitchy's grandfather had been one of the men to escape Alcatraz. He kept telling stories about his grandfather's time in the island prison. Even at lunch, the prisoners would gather around him to hear the tales of Twitchy's grandfather, half of them taking notes. They referred to him as Twitchy Senior, or just gramps. And half of that number actually tried to escape. None made it. Mostly because Twitchy had been describing an island prison. This place was in the middle of up state New York. But Twitchy never paid any mind. He even laughed when he found out that someone actually tried to escape using the advice he gave in his stories.

Jamie would have himself a good laugh, too; especially when he told the story about the toothpaste. That was a real hum-dinger.

Just staying in here and serving your sentence was a better way to live. Three hots and a cot, and no cops on your ass. Not to mention your face won't appear on America's Most Wanted. But everyone wanted to escape. Everyone had their own sob story about 'it was an accident' or 'I was framed'! It was no use. They had a better chance of getting out early on good behavior than escaping.

Because he had been charged with manslaughter, Jamie was forced to take a special anger management course for convicts who had committed murder. No one else there had killed three people, so Jamie kinda felt special. No, not in that little Roadie Van kind of way. There were at least six people in the room, dressed in their orange jumpsuits as usual, sitting in a circle.

The counselor was a beautiful young woman who all the men there drooled over. And no wonder. She wore a short skirt and a tight button up top that showed plenty of cleavage and left little to the imagination. Combine that with six horny men who haven't had any in close to twelve years, and you could understand the armed guards at the door.

Jamie never paid any attention when he attended these meetings. Probably a good thing too.

"Alright," the counselor said. "Mr. Black, do you feel sorry for what you did?"

He had been staring out the window for the past half hour, but was snapped out of his funk when he heard his name.

"Huh? You say something?"

"I asked if you felt sorry for killing those three men."

Jamie just stared at her for a second before bursting out laughing.

"What is so funny?" the counselor asked.

"Excuse me," he said after his laughter slowed. The grin on his face, however, never went away. "I could have sworn you asked if I was sorry."

"I did. Why? Is that a problem?"

"No, it's not. I just think it's a stupid question. You apparently didn't do any research on your students."

"Meaning?"

"You didn't read the court record when I was on the stand. I'm not sorry… about anything I did. The reason I laughed is that I realized something. This is a penitentiary, right?" Before the counselor could answer, he continued. "But just one problem: no one here is penitent. No one is sorry. _Especially_ not me. Those three deserved death, and I only gave them what they earned."

"And you believe it is your place to play God?"

"I wasn't playing God. He doesn't pass judgment with a gun."

Shortly after, the counselor exempted Jamie from the anger management course. He didn't have an anger problem, at least not anymore. He just did what he felt had to be done, and he was content knowing that he did the right thing. Didn't matter what the authorities thought. But he still felt like he didn't belong here. He had done society a favor and this is how they thank him? Only being able to see your family through Plexiglas? The system can be so cruel sometimes.

Later on he was out in the recreation yard within the razor wire barrier of the prison. His cell block got about a three hour break to walk around, get some fresh air. Well, about as fresh as New York air could get. Most of this time he would spend watching his back or staring through the cold molded steel of the fence. He wanted out, as if you couldn't tell.

He was having an ever so pleasant day dream when someone came up and put a hand on his shoulder. He was about ready to knock that person's block off.

"Whoa, buddy, ease up." It was Bubba, and he put up his hands in surrender. He was still sporting a bit of a black eye.

"What do you want?" Jamie shrugged. He really didn't want to deal with anyone right now.

"My buddies and I think you're a real toughie; you got style. They want to talk to you. C'mon, no tricks; just give them a chance."

"Like you gave me?"

"Yeah, well," he paused a moment. "I'm sorry about that. I thought you were just another little pussy-footer. So what do you say?"

Jamie shrugged again. Fine, why the hell not.

Bubba led him over to a group of similarly built men on the opposite end of the fence. They could even pass as a mass of twin brothers. Good grief; talk about stereotypical. Yeah, you can shoot me later. The biggest one, apparently he was the one in charge, had a thick red goatee. Jamie had only heard of him and the infamous bull horn tattoos on the sides of his half bald head. It was more or less a crew cut. Give or take.

"So _you're_ the green horn I've been hearing so much about? Word has it you've kicked the asses of every man on your block. You know, I pictured you a little taller."

"Yeah, blow me." Maybe that was a bad choice of words. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing much, it's just that you impress me. The guys and I thought you earned a mark by standing up for yourself."

"A mark?"

"Just a tattoo. It's our way of warning everyone; keeps the peace so to speak. Even Twitchy's got one. We just can't show you where without causing a fuss."

Jamie didn't want to know.

Hell, why not. Everything else around him was changing. Why not go a step further and change yourself a bit? He agreed.

"Cool," he nodded his head in approval. "You can have any color you want as long as it's black."

Jamie laughed a little bit.

He had the guys put a crescent moon mark on the back of his neck. They even went so far as to fill in the dark side of the moon, leaving the infamous sliver traced out and noticeable. It was pretty damn cool, almost empowering. They managed to finish it before their outdoor period was over. It throbbed painfully for a few days after that, but he didn't much notice it.

The month or so following was uneventful, that was until the good old cell block idiot approached Jamie-more or less tripped to Jamie-with a proposition.

_(II)_

"Andrea, you okay?"

She snapped out of it. Wasn't sure where her mind was at the moment but Dennis' voice brought it back again.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Still thinking about the dream?" he sounded as if he already knew the answer.

"Can't put anything past you, can I?"

"No, I don't think so. What do you think it means?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out. I have a feeling, but I just need to consider it a little longer."

She knew rather well what the dream was about. In fact she thought of it more as a vision. Phoenix could see into the near future, so she learned, and lately she'd been given these premonitions in her sleep. It's not that the most recent one was of ill comings, but it was slightly disturbing.

Everything she saw was in black and white. There was no color to distinguish shapes and figures. It was slightly blurred; like it moved in fast forward. She saw the Calm Lands, and that was perhaps the only thing that made any sense. The rest just seemed like a jumbled mess, strew across empty space.

Andrea picked out a few faces. She only recognized two of them. One was Rikku and the other was Paine's youngest sister, Jennifer. They stood side by side with what looked to be the world of Spira beneath them. Then the moon would come into play. First it was full, and then it went gradually through the other main phases: half and new. It would go through a second cycle until it reached the crescent position. Then the image would shift slightly and become a mark on someone's skin. That someone turned around and Andrea couldn't make out his face. It felt familiar, but she failed to place it in her memory. He looked to be a stern, internally chaotic man with black hair. Then he would suddenly transform into a monstrous, three headed wolf and begin snapping and snarling wildly. The moon remained behind him, making its unnaturally swift procession through its phases.

What frightened her most about many of these visions was that the sun would be eclipsed by the moon. It gave her a bad feeling.

It was like the visions were just pieces of an overly edited film. So much of the full story was lying in the cutting room floor somewhere, leaving her to do a lot of guesswork. Each image would only be minutes, maybe seconds long. She would see the previously mentioned first, and then the weird shit would start popping up. There were brief glimpses of Gippal and Cid, and then she would see half-fiends. After that the vision would end, and she would wake up.

"Andrea?"

"Sorry, I spaced out again," she shook the daze away.

"You want to go back to the village and rest? You look a little…off."

"No, I'm fine. I just hate getting distracted. I want us to try this one more time; it's getting late anyway."

"If you say so."

_(II)_

Since they returned to Besaid from Bevelle a few months ago, Andrea and Dennis both knew that the Four Guardians would be coming back soon. The Phoenix was already in its place within Andrea, but the other three had yet to show themselves. By now they had found a human form, so it was only a matter of time before they made themselves known. They weren't sure what that meant exactly, but Andrea didn't want _any_ surprises. She wanted to be prepared.

Since Dennis was already gifted in magic, Andrea got an idea. Who was to say that the so called spells of her dimension wouldn't work here? No, Andrea wasn't a witch, but in some circles of the Arts there were spells. She knew some of them; mostly wards for protection. She tried them herself to see if they worked, and when the proved useable, she thought to pass them on. Even a little bit helps.

Andrea taught him the strongest ward she knew. It was complicated and they'd been attempting it for over a week now. The most difficult part of it was getting the symbol draw out correctly. You see, the spell consisted of the caster to trace out a symbol in the air with his hand, but it had to be in a certain way. If was done incorrectly the spell wouldn't work. The culture gap was a bit of problem too. Dennis had never read this sort of figures before. Also he had to say a word that was in a totally different language to anything he'd ever heard. To put it bluntly his pronunciation was terrible. I mean; is it _really_ that difficult to say "_Kotoku_"? I didn't think so.

"Ready?" Dennis asked.

"Yeah," Andrea picked up her lance and held it. "Don't try to rush yourself this time. We're not in a hurry."

Dennis nodded and took a relaxing breath. He closed his eyes as he stood and focused. When he opened them again he began to draw the seal in the empty air in front of him. He took his time, just as was suggested, and managed to do it right. He even spoke the command correctly. They were getting somewhere. He kept his hand out in front of him, keeping the spell in continuance. One would never guess the ward was in place. There had been no change, no sign of the presence.

Andrea nodded to him and raised the lance over her head, bringing it down in a powerful arc. The bladed end whistled before striking the invisible barrier, making the spell react and glow a light green. The impact was so strong that the metal weapon vibrated hard enough to where she had to drop it. It was hurting her arms. Dennis dropped his hand and ended the spell.

"Are you all right!" he tried not to laugh; she was snickering too. Mind you she was holding on to her sore wrist but she was still smiling.

"Yes-ouch-I'm fine. That was pretty good."

"So it worked?"

"Yup. That was a strong one too. Good job." And she managed to stand up straight again.

"Let me have a look at that," and he took hold of her hands.

"I'm fine, really,"

"I know, I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand." He grinned.

"Like you needed one."

He laughed a little bit, his eyes looking at the ring on her finger. She noticed the expression on his face. Calm excitement is what it resembled.

"When do you think would be a good time?" he asked.

"I was thinking about that a while ago." She sighed.

"And?"

"I want to say right away but," she paused. "I think we should wait until this whole Guardian mess is over with. I would just feel better knowing that it's behind us."

Dennis nodded his head, saying he was hoping she'd want to do it as soon as possible. But he understood why she wanted to wait.

"You sure there's going to be anything left once this is over?"

"I'd like to think so. I haven't had any visions that show me the world being destroyed. Actually, I don't think destruction is really the issue."

"Then what is?"

"It's more or less just a time of great change. That's all. No death, but no creation either. That's the vibe I'm getting anyway."

Dennis nodded again. He didn't really understand it fully, but he got the basic gist of what she was saying.

A little more time passed before they decided to go back to the village. It was later than they thought and they needed to get some sleep. Tomorrow everyone was getting together for the morning ferry. Yuna decided to do a concert in Luca. She loves to do it, we all know that. It had been over a year since she last heard Yuna sing, and if she recalled correctly she had a nice voice. Not to mention she wanted Andrea to open up for her. Anything for a chance to play; she couldn't resist the offer. The High Summoner had already gotten a group of other musicians together for the performance. Whoa, a full band? Kick ass! If it wouldn't be so incredibly creepy, Andrea would kiss her. But we all know how that would turn out. In one way or the other it would be quite bad…in every sense of the word.

As she and Dennis lay in bed together he had to ask her something.

"Andrea?"

"Hm?"

"You think we should have kids? I mean, after we get married and all."

"Well," she couldn't finish and sounded…bothered.

"I mean, we don't have to right away,"

"No, it's not that. It's just…I don't think I _can_."

Dennis lifted up his head and looked at her. She rolled over so she could see him.

"That drug they gave me all those years ago messed with my hormones. I got the impression that I couldn't have children. I mean, it's been what-several months since the last time we…and nothing has happened. I don't know."

"It's okay. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky." He put his arm around her.

"I've never been known for my luck, but I suppose you're right."

Dennis laughed a little. "Maybe you'll have a vision."

"Not funny." She tried not to laugh. She wasn't sure why, but something found it humorous.

_(III)_

"I can get us outta here, heh-heh."

Jamie and Twitchy had been on laundry detail when Twitchy proposed their escape. As it would turn out, Twitchy had been holding back a few vital details in his stories. His grandfather had told him how he escaped from Alcatraz, hoping that if his grandson saw how difficult it was to escape, he wouldn't get thrown in prison in the first place. That worked out nicely, wouldn't you say? Yes, quite swell.

Jamie listened to his plan, and it made a hell of a lot of sense. Twitchy had learned that there was a five minute window between guard shifts around midnight. If they got out in those five minutes, they could conceivably escape. The northern wall of the compound was bordered by forest, so one of Twitchy's friends could get on the outside and cut away some of the fencing. One of the guards was an old friend of his, Twitchy said. He said the officer would open their cell at the right time and let them out.

It sounded a bit suspicious to him, but Jamie was willing to stick his neck out on it. Anything to get out of this place. Not that he hated it, it was just boring as hell…and the food sucked.


	3. To Whack a Chocobo

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter 3  
To Whack a Chocobo**

"Dammit! Keep running!"

"Huh?"

The last thing Jamie could remember was looking out the bars of his cell at the quarter moon. He was sure that he had fallen asleep, but apparently not. He was right behind Twitchy and they were both running through the forest, so he couldn't have. Jamie could hear dogs behind him and see the beams of flashlights flicker across the trees. Did he sleep walk through the whole escape? No, something like the bark of a dog surely would have woken him up.

So he just kept running. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever the hell that means. Jamie saw Twitchy duck behind a tree and did the same. He pressed against the trunk of it and did his best to blend in. He closed his eyes, not knowing why exactly, and waited. He heard the dogs pass followed closely by the clomping of boots on leaves and dirt. Jamie cracked one eye open, and seeing that the flashlight beams were moving away, he let out the breath he was holding. He chuckled a little bit to himself. They made it. They actually made it.

"We did it, Twitchy. We made it, buddy," Jamie said as he turned to his partner in crime. Interesting choice of words, I know. But Twitchy wasn't there. Standing there was the last person Jamie wanted to see. Someone he hadn't seen in four years; Satan in a purple jacket.

"Hi." It was the fucking Fayth Kid.

"Oh, God!" his eyes were wide and looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "What the…duh…uh…buh…wha…huh?" he stammered.

The kid just stood there and stared at him. At least he thought so. Hard to see under the hood at this time of night. Jamie just backed away slowly, hoping his time in prison had finally made him go mad. Yeah, that's it. All that time in solitary made him go loony, off his rocker, nutty, Joan Rivers. Yeah that's it. He was hallucinating. He had to be dreaming, since he didn't remember Twitchy telling him to get his ass out of bed so they could get the hell out of Dodge. But the knot of a tree pressing into his back told him otherwise.

"Why are _you_ here?" The Fayth Kid was about to respond, but Jamie interrupted. "No. Don't answer. Whatever you're here for, I want no part of it. Guards! I'm over here!" He started jumping around like a madman trying to get the guards attention, but the lights and barking dogs were gone.

"You didn't think they were real, did you?" Jamie just turned his head to the Fayth Kid, hoping he had an explanation. "This is our escape. I merely teleported us outside and hypnotized you into running. As far as the guards know, you and 'Twitchy' are still in your cell, fast asleep."

"Why did you break me outta there?"

"Can't I do you a favor? You wanted out, so I got you out."

"That can't be it. There's gotta be an ulterior motive."

"Yes. I plan to take you somewhere again, but I can only do so by giving you a choice."

"Choice?"

"And you don't have much of one. Try going back to the prison, they give you a one-way ticket to solitary, or they prolong your sentence. Try to run, you become a fugitive, and every lawman in the US will be after you. Come with me, you can have what you want and deserve: freedom. You won't find freedom in this world."

Jamie ran. He had dealt with this fucker before. Bad business. He ran until the forest ended at the road. He was about to rush across when something occurred to him. Cadillac.

"_That fucker won't give me a choice,"_ he thought. _"He'll just give me a ride on the Cadillac express. But I'm four years older and four years smarter."_

Before Jamie crossed the road, he looked both ways and listened closely, just in case the Caddy had its lights off. When he was confident that nothing was coming, he crossed the street.

Unfortunately, in this world, children are only taught to look left and right before crossing the street. They are never taught to look up. And lo and behold, a Cadillac dropped from the sky and landed right on top of him.

_(II)_

When Jamie woke up, he found himself in Hell. I mean the black abyss. Same difference. The Kid was there, as usual.

"What the hell happened? I thought you said you couldn't do anything without giving me a choice."

"I did. It just wasn't your typical yes or no choice. The choice was for you go to Spira my way or the hard way. And you chose the hard way. I had to call in a favor with…and old friend to get you here."

"So I had no choice?"

"Oh, you did have a choice. It's just that both choices had the same outcome."

"Fuck you."

"Aw, you care."

With that, the Fayth Kid flung Jamie, yet again, into the void. Nauseating feeling and everything.

When Jamie woke up this time, he was staring at the same blue sky he had last time. He sat up and saw the same ruins, same grass, and even the same chocobo as last…oh, boy. The stupid chocobo was there again. But Jamie just ignored it this time. As he stood up, he noticed that he wasn't wearing his old prison threads anymore. He was wearing a black shirt, blue jeans, and a long, black duster. As he looked for anything else new, he noticed that he had Tetsusaiga, yet again, at his belt. He soon found his other treasures, too: Yuna's bracelet, Wakka's blitz crest, Lulu's doll, Rikku's music box, as well as Kimahri's stick and Auron's sword on his back.

This was incredible. After all these years, he was back. He would get to see his friends again. He'd get to see Rikku again… After all these years, they'd be together again. And if that Fayth Kid tried to separate them this time, Jamie would give him hell.

And best yet, NO MORE PRISON BLING!

Hearing someone approach, Jamie ducked into the tall grass. It was a pair of men, walking side-by-side down the Highroad.

"I'm sure glad we got tickets to the concert. How long has it been since the last one? A year?"

"No, more than that. At least six months more."

"I'm not so sure about that

"Whatever. You gonna do what you said you'd do?"

"Yep. Got it right here." And with that, the man pulled up his shirt to reveal a chiseled, tan chest. But painted on it in green were the words 'I love you, Yuna!'

Yuna?

"_Is that referring to the same Yuna I know?"_ Jamie thought.

"You do realize she's married, right?"

"So?"

"To a blitz star. He'd get pissed if he found out you were hitting on Lady Yuna."

"Nah, I heard he's a dumb ass." Yuna, married to a dumb ass blitz star? Yep. That's the same Yuna, alright.

Jamie didn't stay around. He snuck off and started making his way down the Highroad, the same direction the other two were going. Hopefully, if Jamie could get to Yuna, he might be able to find Rikku. And hopefully this wouldn't take too long. Spotting a chocobo off to his right, Jamie decided to chance it. It was grazing when he walked up to it. It stared at him for a while before going back to grazing. It never saw the huge stick that was swung at its skull.

Approximately ten minutes before the concert in Luca Stadium was to start, a man wearing black rode into Luca on a chocobo with a massive crack in its beak. He dismounted and let the bird go. People didn't pay him much mind. He strode over to the sign that he could only guess told the name of this city.

"Damn. I never could read this stuff," Jamie muttered. "Let's see: L…that looks like a U…C…A? Yeah that's an A. L-U-C-A. Luca" Except he was pronouncing it more like Luck-uh. He just shrugged and walked on. "Now, if I were holding a concert, where would it be?" He looked around him and noticed a large amount of people moving towards a huge dome in the distance. "Well, when in Rome…"

He followed the crowd and found that they _were_ going to the huge dome.

"_Yuna isn't just gonna let me see her if I claim I'm Jamie. And I can't buy a ticket without money. How am I gonna get in?" _

Off to his left, he noticed a small group of burly men walk in a side door. They were all dressed like Wakka. Jamie decided to see what was going on. The guard at the door had just let the last man in when Jamie walked up.

"Whoa, pal. Only VIPs are allowed in here. VIPs like the Gullwings and the Besaid Aurochs."

"Aurochs?" Jamie thought for a while, the said, "But I'm with them."

"Prove it."

Digging through his pocket, he produced the crest Wakka had given him four years ago. The guard took one look at it and immediately let Jamie in, apologizing for the mix-up. As Jamie entered the dome and found the seating area, he could safely assume that the place was filled to the brim. People everywhere, cheering. A band up on stage warming up. The works. Just what you'd expect to see at a concert.

He wandered through the crowd, hoping that the concert would start soon. After it ended, he would follow Yuna back to her dressing room. At least he hoped she had a dressing room. No idea how close concerts here are to those back on Earth.

_(III)_

Andrea had seen some strange designs when it came to instruments, but Spira took the cake for weird. The bass she was planning to use for the opener looked hardly like anything from her dimension. She spent the past week just trying to figure out how the fret board was arranged, as well as rehearsing. It turned out to be tuned the same, but it was still strange to hold. The other musicians she was working with were pretty all right too. If she didn't know any better she'd deem them all stoners, but then again, so were the Beatles. And look at Jimmy Hendrix! Think of Wood Stock!

This was how the performance was supposed to go. She and her group would go on stage, play through a piece, and after that Yuna would come up. They'd stay behind to play the music. Hurray, no goofy backup dancers. Yeah, I didn't like those guys either. After the High Summoner finished then the concert would end, and everyone could go home. Not that Andrea didn't enjoy the chance of performing to a crowd, but she wanted to get back to Besaid soon. She was getting homesick. However, the thought of everyone getting back together after so long, it wasn't so bad. It had been about six months and they were long overdue for a get together.

Andrea hated to admit it, but she still couldn't write her own lyrics. She wracked her brain for hours before finally coming up with a song from her dimension. She didn't much care if it was appropriate or not, only that it was fun as hell. In the middle of the night it hit her.

"Five minutes!"

Her head jerked up. She didn't know who said that, but she was certain it was for the band. Okay, she took a relaxing breath. This is it. It's all or nothing.

The minutes ticked down and soon it was show time.

The crowd was going absolutely wild. The roar of cheering was deafening. The amps would have to be turned up so everyone could hear. Andrea's knees shook a little as she took the stage with her band mates. She adjusted the headset in her ear, making sure everything was just right.

She took one last look around, seeing that everything was ready. She took another breath, and then began tapping her foot in time to the beat. This was going to kick the crowd's asses. The music exploded to life, and the tempo was insane.

_Crownless again shall be the queen_

_Trophy on her grave still remains unseen_

_A boat on the river confessing the sins_

_The Riddler revealing the deep hidden things_

_Crownless again shall be the king_

_A gull covered in oil with a broken wing_

_A hitcher on a road alone and lost_

_Iron sharpens iron... - a truth that once was_

_Mine is the Earth and the sword in the stone_

_Mine is the throne for the idol_

_One fleeting moment and it is all gone_

_Crownless again_

_Will I fall?_

_Roaming on razor-sharp castles_

_Ruling all but myself_

_Now my night is laid to sleep_

_One fragrant rose worth ten times what I am_

_A crippled begging a coin braver than I ever was_

_Reflection from me-Devil dressed in white_

_Chasten the being_

_Become what I once was_

_Mine is the Earth and the sword in the stone_

_Mine is the throne for the idol_

_One fleeting moment and it is all gone_

_Crownless again_

_Will I fall?_

There was a bridge of the melody before the song ended, and even before that the audience was beside themselves. Not too damn bad if I have to say so myself. Andrea stood there smiling, trying to catch her breath.

Okay, the song wasn't all that bad, Jamie thought. In fact it rocked with the best of them. He stood amongst the multitudes with his arms crossed, nodding in approval. It wasn't that the band was bad, not to mention the singer was dressed so similar to his dimension, he was just anxious to see Yuna after all of this time; even if it was over the heads of half a million people.

The spectators really lost it when the High Summoner appeared on stage. Jamie could still hear that guy with the painted chest screaming his pitiful heart out. He just shook his head. If he knew Yuna like he thought he did, she wasn't into groupies…even if she married a dumb ass. And just to clear the record, some people should keep their shirts on…no matter what.

The performance seemed to be going as planned. The music was bitchin, Yuna was pouring her heart into her voice, and people were fainting. Okay, it appeared normal. Almost makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a spoon.

Just as the High Summoner hit a high note there was this loud, resounding crash. The eastern wall of the dome just caved in, taking a massive chunk of the ceiling with it. People started screaming and running around, the music screeched to a halt, and the ground shook as the portion of stone and steel overhang struck the ground. Jamie tried to avoid being trampled. He looked off towards the origin of the commotion, watching as something lurched out of the dust. It looked to him like fiends, but they walked upright, some even wearing armor. What the hell were these? Nonetheless, fiends only translated as one thing, and they had "Kill Me" written all over them.

"_Time to have some fun."_ And he drew Masamune with a sinister grin.

Most of the people stopped what they were doing and ran as the half fiends pouring into the stadium. The exits became crowded as the masses raced to escape. Few stayed behind to fight, and you can imagine who those few were. Oh yeah. Hidden from casual glances were the others. They'd come to see a concert and get drunk over old times afterwards, but what they got was a fight. Not a bad trade. They could still get drunk later. Only now the beer would taste better because they had to work for it.

Andrea wasn't surprised when she saw Yuna make a b-line for back stage. She had a family to protect after all. She dropped the bass and tore the headset off. No way was she going to bust a few fiends with all that attatched. Once free of any distraction Andrea leaped from the stage, landing solidly onto the ground of the bleachers. As she stood straight a Drake fiend came running, claws poised forward. With a slight sidestep she threw her arm in a small downward arc, striking the monster in the throat with her forearm. It flipped completely heel over head and smacked down on the concrete. It tried to get back up, but she planted a heel through its skull. It didn't move after that, and she had gray matter stuck in the bottom of her boot. Yummy!

Fiends crowded around Jamie like lambs to the slaughter. The ground around him was soon a resemblance of Disney's bowl movement. Oh yes, very messy. He was enjoying it though. He laughed, smiled from ear to ear; he even talked to himself as the adrenaline tickled his funny bone.

"C'mon you guys, this all you got? Gimme a break! Oh, don't think I forgot about _you_ pinky," and he sliced a Protochimera down the middle. "Come one, come all! Step right up to Jamie's Chop Shop!"

He swung Masamune around his body once, giving a little jump to cut off a fiend's head-as well as a few others-and turned on his heel to spin a second time, cutting several across the middle, in half. The creatures then seemed to stop coming after that.

"What, no more?" he almost whined about it. He looked around and found plenty more of those things to hack apart. He only thought a split second before springing for the first beast that moved. He liked being busy; and no one was after his ass anymore. Ah, life is good.

"Hey, Paine; how are you holding up?" Rikku was at her back.

"Please, I haven't even broke a sweat."

"So," she cut into a fiend's chest. "How's the marriage coming?"

"Not so bad,"

"How's Baralai?"

"Hah," Paine laughed a bit. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Kids coming yet?"

"_No_!" and off with a Coeurl's head. "You know, this seems a little odd, don't you think?"

Rikku tripped a fiend as it charged her, thinking about the question for a moment before reaching down and snapping its neck.

"How do you figure?"

"Didn't we get rid of these things?"

"I dunno."

"Good point. Oh well, maybe it's just me."

Suddenly the entire stadium was subjected to a massive tremor. The east wall was further demolished as a great Behemoth tore through it, its colossal feet making the steel and concrete buckle and split. It couldn't have been less than twenty feet tall. Steam shot from its flared nostrils and it foamed at the mouth. Its tail lashed, tearing more of the wall off of its foundations.

Jamie watched with growing interest. This was big one to be sure. It looked like killer fun. Emphasis on "killer". He sheathed the Masamune and reached for his hip. This was calling for the big guns. In a rain of gold sparks, with metal kissing metal, the Tetsusaiga was drawn from the saiya. The blade was the great marvel, several times too big for anyone to be able to carry. Jamie wielded it with ease. It was a part of him. He rested the great sword on his shoulder.

"What bean stalk did _you_ fall from?" he spoke aloud to himself. With a snicker he held Tetsusaiga out in front of him with both hands. With deep concentration he searched for where the auras collided. The scar in the continuum that they created. The Wind Scar. Like double vision on an LSD trip, it appeared in a swirling, bi-colored mist. Then the light of the converging forces appeared. He felt a surge of energy in his blood. Oh yeah; it hurts so good. With little more hesitation he released the power of Tetsusaiga on Behemoth. There was bright flash of yellow light.

There was a rib rattling bellow and the wind roared. Jamie merely turned his head so the light wasn't directly in his eyes. Otherwise he didn't really mind any of it. It was beautiful to see after so long.

The air settled and the light dissipated. Jamie's head cocked to one side and he was slightly surprised to see Behemoth still standing there, staggering on a half missing leg. The monster's right side had been nearly cut clear off, leaving portions of bone showing and blood spilling all over the place. There's no way he could've missed. And a large part of Behemoth's throat was gone, tendons hanging limply as the flesh was destroyed. That should have killed it. He set himself to try again, meaning to kill it. He stopped however, when he saw someone running for the giant.

He watched in mild surprise as a dwarfed figure of a person leaped up Behemoth's remaining thigh, scaled the purple hair on its underbelly, and made it to the head even as the fiend swatted at them. The person ran from one side of its head to the other, short jumping off its forehead and latching onto one ear. The neck swiveled on the joint they swung themselves beneath it and jerked the head with just the right amount of force. There was a loud cracking sound, and the Behemoth let out a sort of moan as it collapsed. When the head twisted as far as the break would allow the person let go of the fiend's ear, making a full back flip in the air before falling the rest of the way back to the ground. Okay, that was cute, but the Wind Scar was cooler than hell.

Behemoth still refused to be stilled by a broken neck. Okay, Jamie thought; this was getting annoying. He was readying himself to go in and chop the fucker's head off, but he found himself stopping. His heart rate stammered a moment, hitching his breath. He felt something odd, yet oddly familiar too. Almost like a sisterly energy force, but still the exact opposite. What the fuck?

There was a loud bang and the stadium was filled with this incredible heat and mounds of raging flames. Jamie cringed slightly at the sound. He focused through the smoke and fire, finding himself genuinely surprised-for the first time in ages-at what he was seeing.

A giant bird with the coloration of the sun itself was attacking the Behemoth for all it was worth. Its gleaming talons sank deep into the fiend's body, ripping it to shreds. Its beak tore into it, ripping out a hunk of metal. Oil spewed out of the fiend's mouth with a sickening, gurgling sound and it collapsed, twitching before it fell limp. Heh-heh, twitching is cool.

The bird settled on the stage, dropping the metal clump before there was another bang. The flames subsided and the creator of them disappeared. What in the name of pickles just happened? He watched somewhat dumbfounded as people gathered center stage.

"Rikku!"

His heart slammed into his throat. He looked in the direction the name came from and saw a blonde man running down the demolished bleachers to the stage. For some reason he couldn't force himself to move. Even when his eyes fell on the Al Bhed woman he wouldn't budge. He never noticed his jaw falling open. By the looks of it what little modesty Rikku had four years ago had been burned at the stake. Although that micro skirt really did justice to her figure. Wait…why was that guy hugging her? He suddenly felt his blood boiling. Jamie began walking off.

I guess things changed while I was gone, he thought to himself, exiting the stadium with Tetsusaiga weighing heavily on his shoulder.

Author's Note: Ooh, burn! What's up with Jamie? Well, maybe if your read "My Immortal Emotion", you would get it! (Hint-hint). It's in the FFX section of If you don't get all of it, go read it and The Black Phoenix to catch yourself up on things. No promises on what's going to happen next chapter so don't ask! Also, the lyrics are from Nightwish, and the song is "Crownless". I highly, HIGHLY recommend this band. And pay attention to them, for they just might come back to bite you in the ass later. What could I possibly mean? Well…I'm not telling. So there.


	4. Moon in the Shadow

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Four  
Moon in the Shadow**

They pondered and puzzled, and puzzled some more. They continued to puzzle, until their puzzlers were sore. Yes, a blatant Dr. Seuss rip off. Stone me later. For now, let's focus on what's important, like the story, huh?

"Gippal," Rikku shrugged, incoherently trying to squirm out of his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the city and heard about the attack. I thought you'd be here for the concert. What? I was worried!"

"Thanks," she pushed him off. She didn't mean to be that way; it's just that physical contact with him felt…icky.

Everyone seemed to have made it out of the ordeal with little or no injuries. A couple of scrapes or maybe a relatively superficial claw mark. Nothing to be extremely worried about.

"So what the hell is all of this about? You think it was just an out of the blue thing?" Paine asked, shaking her head at the bloody chunk of metal lying on the ground.

"Random? Doubt it," Andrea sighed. "I get the feeling they came here on purpose."

"Like last time?" Rikku came into the discussion.

"Maybe. Not the same purpose, I hope anyway. But this is a new twist on things," and she gestured to the metal scrap.

"I think they're all fused with this sort of thing," Dennis said, dragging a Drake carcass behind him. Its arms and legs were plated in steel and electrical crap.

"Looks like Machina attachments." Rikku said, taking a close look at it. She gave it a little kick in the side of the head to make sure it was dead. Yup, sure was; rigor mortis all the way.

"Still, I think this is a new commission," Andrea continued. "There weren't any Behemoth's before. Certainly none equipped with this sort of thing."

"What do you think it is?" Yuna finally managed to open her mouth. It's just that there was so much blood.

"It's a heart." Gippal answered almost too quickly. "At least it looks that way. How do you think it was still able to move after that blast?"

Everyone nodded.

"Where did that come from anyway?" Dennis asked.

"Beats me, but that was one hell of an attack." Andrea scratched at the back of her head. "I haven't seen anything like that since…hell, the Mega Flare. And it was still bigger than that."

"Did you get a look at the caster?"

"I think so, but only a few glimpses. He had dark hair and wore black. I think he had a pair of big swords. One of them was _huge_. I don't see how he could hold it up."

Rikku's eyes shot to Andrea and she demanded to know where she'd seen this man.

"He's right over…where'd he go? He was there just a second ago. Hell, maybe he left. The excitement's over with, and I wouldn't really feel like staying either."

Regardless of Andrea's answer, Rikku took off like a bullet, jumping off the stage and making a dash for the dome's exit. Gippal's one eye showed confusion. Maybe even concealed hurt.

"What was that all about?" Paine wondered.

"Damned if I know." Andrea scratched her head again. "Anyway; I think it's a safe guess to say we're dealing with some screwed up Al Bhed. Only they could craft this sort of thing."

"But what would they want with half fiends?" Yuna inquired. "What could they accomplish?"

"There's no telling. Maybe they're trying to get back at Yevon for all the bullshit they forced on them for so long. We can only speculate at this point. Anyway, it seems obvious that they've figured out how to make these things, so they've got some sort of powerful magic user on their side. We're _really_ going to have to step lightly on this one."

Everyone agreed on that. Yes, very lightly. Man, I hate pussy-footing around. Makes me feel like some tree hugging hippie wuss. Yes, I know that doesn't make any sense, just deal with it.

They agreed to go back to the hotel and think about this some more. They first thought about looking for Rikku, but Yuna suggested to leave her be. Something told her that this was best left to run its course. There was no argument.

_(II)_

She turned the city of Luca inside out and upside down. Her heart was wrenching with desperate hope and anticipation.

When Andrea described the man she'd seen, a picture in her mind immediately appeared and her thoughts flew all over the place. Her nerves tied in an instant knot and she thought to collapse right there. She just couldn't understand the possibility that…_he_ had come back. Could it happen? I mean could it really?

"Jamie!" she called out so many times. She received no answer. "Jamison Black, you had better answer me right _now_ or I'll….I'll," well piss. She knew this wasn't working. Her imagination was getting the best of her again. By the time she gave up she was on the pier. She felt her heart sinking to the deepest pit of her insides, and she wasn't thinking about her stomach.

Her head fell and her chin almost touched her chest. Once again she felt the pain of separation, of disappointment.

He was never there, she thought. Just a dream. She wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

Andrea said…things would turn out okay. But _when_? She was so tired of waiting.

What was the use?

_(II)_

Pissed was an understatement, and enraged still wasn't a good word to describe what he was feeling right now. He stormed back down the highroad from where he came, not knowing or much less caring where he was going or if he'd get there. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't shake that God awful image from his head. Why was that man hugging her? Had she forgotten all about him? No, that can't be. She wouldn't do that!

Jamie suddenly stopped, taking in a rough breath as he let his head fall back. He shrugged hard, trying to calm himself. Hell, after so long who knows what's changed. For all he knew she could be married…have kids. He shivered at the thought.

But what about the times they had together? What about their love for one another; what about…_everything_? The edges of his eyes burned with tears that were threatening to come out. He let his head fall and he looked at the ground, feeling hopeless. What was the point? If not for Rikku then why was he brought back here? He didn't understand it anymore. Maybe if he let a Chocobo rip out his intestines and use them for streamers he'd feel better. Then again, maybe not; either way, he just shook his head and continued walking with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

The Highroad was dark with the exception of the moon. It was at half full, or half new, depending on your optimism level. Jamie could care less at this point. He felt lost, betrayed, alone and angry. He didn't know where to go, who he could turn to. And the day had started off so well, what with the fiend slaying and all. Things liked to turn to shit on him at the drop of a hat. Maybe he would have been better off staying in the slammer. He shook his head again.

A second time he stopped walking, and made a half turn so he could look at the moon that was looming over his shoulder. He glared at it coldly, feeling a sense of mockery from it. Just for no reason he gave it the finger. He hadn't done that in a while, it almost felt comforting. He looked at the moon for only a few moments longer before making an attempt to resume his aimless path. He looked ahead and found himself stopping again, for the last time.

It moved so fast, he couldn't react. A black mist, having a misshapen, ethereal shape about it, had barred his path for a split second before lunging at him. It was so sudden. Something heavy slammed into his chest and pinned him to the ground. He was slightly dazed at first, but when his blurred vision cleared he chanced a look at his attacker.

It was just a black fog, having four legs and standing on each, two of which weighed down on his arms, prohibiting his movement. Jamie pulled against it but found it no use. He felt claws pinching into his skin through his dust coat.

The shadow had two pairs of eyes, one seeming to protrude from each shoulder, with an empty space between them, as if something was missing. Then the shadow had teeth and started snarling. It even began to salivate. Out of impulse Jamie shut his eyes, only for a moment.

He didn't feel a thing.

_(III)_

Andrea was sitting on the bed in the hotel room, thinking hard on what had happened today. She was positive there was something going on behind all of this. Somebody was being targeted during the attack, but the fiend forces were so disorganized you couldn't tell. And who was that guy with the giant sword? Some of the answers she sought were on the tip of her tongue, but the rest were nowhere in sight.

Her knuckles started to get sore from resting her chin on them for so long. She just switched hands and continued to ponder some more. No, no more puzzling.

The door suddenly opened and Andrea looked up, and eyebrow lifting itself in slight confusion. In came Dennis with Rikku clinging to him for support. She was positively smashed beyond recognition. Andrea could smell the liquor on her breath from her side of the room. She even cringed at the odor.

"Whoa," Andrea waved her hand over her nose. "Did she _pickle_ herself in beer or what?"

"I don't think she went that far," the White Mage put her on the sofa. "But I agree in that she went just a little over board."

"A _little bit_?"

"At least I didn't let her pilot this way. She was insisting on going back to Bikanel right this second."

"Bikanel; on what, an inner tube?"

"Apparently she came here on her own in an airship. She kept going about _'her'_ airship, so I guess she built one. There's no telling."

"With her," she paused a moment. "She very well may have made another. Well, either way, she sure as hell isn't driving right now."

"No," Dennis shook his head with a grin. "I've considered that ever since she tried to explain to me who Choogie was."

"Who the hell is Choogie?"

"He's my-_hick_-pet! He lives in my belly-button!" Rikku slurred rather loudly. "He tells me to…to…um," she paused a second. "He tells me to pet the pigeons and to keep unplugged plugs plugged, and to make sure that the plugged in plugs don't get unplugged again." And then she passed out, mouth open and snoring.

Andrea and Dennis both just shook their heads.

"You know," Andrea began, keeping her voice slightly low. "I've never known her to drink. Especially not so much."

"Well," Dennis sighed. "I can feel that she's in a lot of emotional turmoil. That much is obvious. The rest is just a wad of…_stuff_." And he gestured that "wad" largely with his hands. "Do you sense anything?"

"Now that you mention it, I do." Andrea got off the bed and walked over to the window. She could see the moon from where she stood. "I can't really put it into words though. Something has just happened."

"That's obvious."

"No, I mean…well; I'm not sure what I mean."

Dennis saw the serious look on her face and walked over to stand behind her.

"Is it starting?" he spoke quietly, as if afraid to mention it.

Andrea thought about it before answering. She couldn't lie about it. That would be pointless.

"I think it is. I'm not sure."

Dennis nodded. He gently put his arms around her shoulders and hugged her, kissing her on the temple. She placed her hands over one of his and continued to stare at the bright moon. It gave her a chill that crawled up her spine, giving her goose bumps.

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

"All we can do for now is wait. Maybe I'll have a vision." She shrugged a little.

"You're usually asleep when they come, aren't you?"

"So far."

"Want to get a head start?" and he nipped at her earlobe teasingly.

It tickled her a little and she laughed quietly. He started kissing down her neck and she pulled out of his embrace.

"Not now,"

"Why not?" he pouted at her. Oh, what a face!

"Not with Rikku in here! We should respect our guest,"

"She's drunker than a sailor, and don't worry," he kissed her lips this time. "I'll be quiet."

Andrea laughed again. "_You're_ not the loud one,"

"Oh, you only say that to make me feel good," he snickered and put his mouth to her collar bone, having pushed the fabric of her shirt out of the way. She breathed out a little giggle, the sound mixed with slight arousal. He felt her fingers tangling in his hair and knew he'd ensnared her. Dennis knew it was what she wanted, and he wasn't about to let a little drunkard on the couch ruin it. No offense to Rikku, but this was _their_ room after all.

Andrea got his shirt off before grabbing him by the shoulders and literally throwing him onto the bed, pinning him there.

"Feisty, aren't we?" he asked, laughing a bit. To be truly honest he really was surprised. This was new enthusiasm on her part.

"What can I say," she shook her head sarcastically. "Today was exciting. It was contagious."

"And your performance was excellent, by the way. The lyrics were a bit grim, but it was still very good."

"You think so? Well, I guess I just have that way about me. I'm glad you liked it though." And she started kissing him, seeing no point in more conversation. Talking could be done later.

Andrea made sure to keep him on his back. She felt like giving the little instigator a little something special since he seemed to want this so bad. But she wouldn't make it so easy for him; she'd tease him a little bit while she was at it.

Her kisses descended from his mouth to his ear, to his throat, and to his collar bone. His breathing hastened slightly as she continued lower. Her hands tormented him by tracing the grooves of his chest so slowly. It was driving him crazy. He reached for her hands but she shied away, telling him no touching was allowed unless she said so. Dennis whined in protest but she shushed him with a finger over his lips.

"Ouch!"

Andrea laughed at him as his back arched slightly. It couldn't have hurt all that much. She only bit him on the nipple. Oh well, she thought; I suppose guys are just as sensitive as we are. However, somehow she knew he liked it. Maybe he was into rough-and-tumble love, but wouldn't admit it.

When she kissed his stomach Dennis gasped. He squirmed a little when he felt Andrea's hands at the button of his pants, her lips lingering on the small scar just above his navel. Holy hell…was she about to do what he thought she was? Before he could answer himself his breath escaped his lungs and he struggled to catch it. His mind and rationality were hurled into a vortex of oblivion and he couldn't form words though his mouth was wide open.

His hands fisted in the bed sheets as he groaned. He had to keep them occupied; Andrea hadn't given him permission to touch her yet. Sweat began to form on his face, rolling down his forehead and cheeks. He was trying so hard not to moan loudly, but it was becoming so difficult. He felt on the verge of exploding, and he didn't mean that figuratively. Dennis' whole body trembled as he felt her moving up and down, her long hair tickling his bare thighs. This was too much.

Dennis couldn't stand it anymore. He sat up, grabbing Andrea roughly by the shoulders and forcing her to kiss him, permission or not. She feigned resistance when he forced her clothes off, trying to make it seem like she was still in control. Needless to say it wasn't working. In one movement he lifted her from the bed and placed her beneath him. She gave him a feral, anticipating grin.

Rikku slept through the whole thing.

_(II)_

Jamie opened his eyes, the sun in them. He blinked his vision clear, squinting at the bright light. He sat up, his head swimming a little. What on earth was he doing lying on the ground? And why was his rear hurting? Well, for the second one, he had a rock stuck in his left butt cheek. For the second one…that was a little fuzzy. When had he passed out? He never recalled falling asleep is why he wondered.

Jamie stood up, his knees shaking a little. He looked around…yep, still on the Highroad. Okay, so what in the name of the muffin man happened last night? Wait…he remembered a little. The black mist was the last thing in his mind. The mist with eyes and teeth. Then he recalled this weird ass dream that made crystal meth look like Skittles.

He saw himself, lying there on the ground, as if he were that shadow of a ghost. His body was being devoured. Blood was all over the place and it was like his body was dead, void of any sign of ever being alive. He watched it all, down to the last shred of leather that was swallowed. Funny, he didn't feel hungry.

It had felt so real, like he was there, but not in his own body. He put his hands to his chest, checking to see if he was still real. He pinched his forearm…ouch. Okay, he was awake. He was still _him_.

The only thing that really seemed to bother him was that he couldn't remember a lick of what happened yesterday before he saw the shadow. It was strange. Yet he had a strange feeling he should turn around. He never knew where he was headed in the first place, but something told him to go the other way. His head was still spinning a little as he faced the direction his instincts were directing him. Jamie just shook his head and started walking. It wasn't like he had anything else better to do.

Author's Note: Okay, just be patient and sit there. I said _sit_! Anyway, who knows what will happen next, and if you're lucky I might not torment you with more talk of Choogie and the plugs. We'll see. Yes, Andrea got naughty, and I'm sure that I'll be having my chops royally busted by _someone_ I know…but who cares. Don't like it-I am addressing you readers-do what I always say…write your own!


	5. The Dog at Your Back Step

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Five  
The Dog at your Back Step**

Rikku felt the two ton weight on her shoulders that was her head. What a fucking migraine she had. She groaned as her eyes burned at the morning light seeping into the room from the windows. The shades were drawn mind you, but it still bothered her. Her stomach was doing back flips and her mouth was dry, her throat scratchy. The hung over Al Bhed chanced to sit up, the room seeming to spin a little as she became upright. She put her hand over her stomach and burped, as if that would help to stop her from vomiting. She could only imagine how awful she looked right now. She tried not to think on it too much.

Rikku looked around, trying to place herself. Last thing she remembered was the bar, and that was pretty much it. Oh, and the floor of the bar considering she spent a good portion of her time there. Other than that everything else was pretty much a big blank…blankness. Her stomach lurched again. God, she thought; how could Yuna stand this? How could she have _possibly_ gotten addicted to these symptoms? Blech.

She looked over the whole room, finding stray wads of clothes on the floor. She cringed, knowing better than to look towards the bed but doing it anyway. She let out a quiet shrug of a groan as she processed the image of Andrea and Dennis dead asleep. Of course they were naked. Cripes; what _else_ happened last night? She shivered at the thought. When her gut did another somersault she forced herself to get up, swimming head and all. The temple of the porcelain god was calling her name. She-um…sashayed somewhat drunkenly out of the room and had to keep one hand on the wall as she dragged herself down the hallway.

This was going to be a very, _very_ long day.

Perhaps a half hour later after the Al Bhed had vacated, there was activity in the lovers' bed.

Dennis opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. He was still on his back, apparently not having moved an inch after falling asleep. Well, considering that rolling over is quite difficult when someone's lying on top of you. Andrea was there, her arm draped across his chest with her hand on his shoulder. He felt her cheek pressing against the inner end of his collarbone, the top of her head beneath his chin. The White Mage laughed softly and started petting her. He did this for several minutes until she showed signs of waking up.

"What time is it?" she asked, sounding groggy.

"Don't know."

She only nodded, not saying anything. Dennis felt her stretch over him, her muscles tensing for a moment before relaxing again. Andrea lifted her head at last and looked at him, her eyes half opened and her hair somewhat disheveled.

"Sleep well?"

"I did," she replied with a grin. "You?"

"Never before in my life have I slept so soundly. Last night was incredible…to say the least. I don't think they've invented the appropriate word yet."

"Oh come on," she laughed. "It couldn't have been all _that_ great,"

"Don't be modest," he shifted to sit up against the headboard. "It's the truth."

She thanked him for the compliment and kissed him, and then went about

dressing herself without another word. Dennis watched her from the bed, picking up an odd vibe all of a sudden.

"Is something wrong?" he didn't sound concerned really, just curios.

Andrea pulled her jeans up and buttoned them before turning to him, asking him to repeat his question.

"You're spacing again,"

"Am I? Maybe I'm still a little tired," she smirked at him.

"No really, what's on your mind?" he paused a moment. "Did you have a vision last night?"

She finished putting her clothes on and went about picking up his and putting them on the foot of the bed before shaking her head. She seemed a little too hesitant to be convincing. Andrea told him to get dressed before they talked about it any more.

"Why?"

"Because," she replied. "You're distracting me."

He laughed a little bit as he shook his head.

"Did you see Rikku go?" she asked him suddenly.

"Um," he forced his shirt over his head. "No, I don't think so. She's probably got a hang over for ten."

"Good point. If she's lucky she won't lose a lung; is that what you're saying?"

Dennis nodded his head as he fastened his belt. Now that he was appropriate and no longer a diversion, he sat on the foot of the bed, waiting for her to somewhat settle down. She found a comfy spot on the couch, not seeming to notice the dried patch of drool on the arm of the sofa. But the whole room smelled like beer so you can imagine that a little saliva on a piece of furniture that she didn't own was the last thing on her mind.

"So…did you have a vision?" he asked again.

"Well," she thought a moment. "I think so, but I'm not sure. This one seemed too simple to be a vision. At least the first bit of it was."

"Tell me about it."

Andrea took a deep breath and told him as much as she could recall. She had slept hard last night, so the images were unusually complete. She told him how that dark haired man kept appearing, and through most of the time he had been with Rikku. Then there was still that three headed beast. It was still as savage in appearance as before. Half fiends would manifest occasionally throughout the vision. Also the moon would continue to eclipse the sun. She _still_ couldn't decipher the meaning of that.

"And I keep seeing Paine's youngest sister," she shook her head, seeming confused.

"Really?" his head was cocked to one side. "That's odd. You think maybe it's because she looks so much like Rikku?"

"It could be. But like I said, _that's_ the simple stuff."

"What else is there?"

Andrea went into another descriptive spiel. This time it was less evident what was being shown. During the vision she saw glimpses of the Guardian's Chamber in Bevelle, and the she was shown the grand hall of the temple itself. It had looked old and rarely used, dust being everywhere. Did I mention everything was in color this time? Well it was, and she could tell that the hall had been neglected a very long time. It looked like it had been converted into a chapel, a place of worship at some point but then abandoned altogether. Then a throne appeared briefly, not giving her much of a chance for a close look.

After that she was shown the Guardian's Temple atop Mt. Gagezet, and just as suddenly as the image before it disappeared. Like it was forgotten, leaving no trace of ever being there. The last thing to manifest on her dream was a sword, stabbed into solid stone, waiting in darkness and giving of this almost divine, white light. Then she woke up.

"That's some dream. I for one think it's a vision." Dennis shrugged. "But there's no way to be certain."

"We could go to Bevelle." Andrea suggested as if talking to herself aloud.

"Don't you think that would be a little…odd?"

"Why? Vae's dead. He was executed months ago. Who cares?"

"I dunno," Dennis shook his head. "I was just thinking."

Andrea nodded and leaned back, her knuckles beneath her chin as she pondered. She was inclined to agree with Dennis. This had to be a vision; she was just afraid of being right. These visions frightened her, even if it was just a little bit. Plus she had the feeling that whatever she felt occur last night was somehow connected to this. Perhaps a Guardian had manifested, found a human vessel.

I bet some of you are wondering: how could that be? Well, I'll explain that later. You'll just have to keep wondering. Who knows, you might figure it out all by yourself. Just try not to injure something.

"I'm certain of it…something _happened_ last night. Something big…and I don't mean it like _that_." she noticed Dennis grinning a bit. "I'm being serious."

"I know. I just thought I could help keep you from getting so tense. You stress yourself out to your wit's end when you do this."

"I can't help it. This is something worth getting stressed about. There's still so much we don't know."

Dennis shrugged. "So you think we should go to Bevelle?"

Andrea nodded. "It's a start. It's better than what we're doing now. At least with this we're _trying_ to figure it out instead of just sitting here waiting for it to happen."

Both of them agreed on that. The difficulty in the situation now was explaining all of this to the others.

_(II)_

Luca didn't seem so busy today. At least he thought that much. He forgot most of yesterday so he wasn't too sure about it. Jamie had been wondering the streets all morning, not certain as to why. He was positive he was looking for something, but he couldn't determine what it was. His mind was a total mess right now. Maybe he was at last feeling the after effects of the ever faithful Cadillac express. Damn Fayth Kid bastard.

Something drew him to the harbor. He followed his instincts still. Well, it wasn't as if he had to be anywhere. As far as he was convinced he wasn't wanted. He had no reason to be anywhere. Yes, his optimism is truly astounding. He walked aimlessly almost the entire length of the port, only having a smidgeon of focus when he saw an airship docking there. It wasn't the one he remembered from back when he was Yuna's Guardian, but it was a nice rig. Better than Cid's by what he could tell.

He rounded the corner as he approached it, stalling a moment. It was that man again. The one he'd seen yesterday. Jamie recalled him rather vividly; and not just the person, but the fury he roused. He felt his fists clench when he saw Rikku with him. They looked to be talking, maybe even having a disagreement. He could hear Rikku shouting from across the distance that was between them. She was pissed, and sounded like she was losing her voice at that. Despite how much he knew it was against his better judgment, he went ahead on his original way.

"All I'm asking is for you to come back to Djose with me for just a couple days. Is that so much?"

"In fact it's _too_ much! We've been over this before, Gippal; it just isn't going to work!"

Gippal shook his head and dropped his hands at his sides. "You know, your dad's been asking about you a lot."

"_So_? What's that got to do with _you_?" She glared at him through bloodshot eyes with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I just thought you'd like to know. What's gotten into you?"

"It's none of your business! Please Gippal, just…"

"I'm sorry," Jamie had just walked up to them. "Am I interrupting something?" It wasn't like he really cared; well, he did in a way. It was not enough to bother him.

Rikku's mouth hung open from mid sentence and she couldn't bring herself to speak. Gippal saw the look on her face and cocked an eyebrow. Who was this chump in the duster? He had a mind to tell the stranger off, but he saw the massive sword on his back and thought twice. Ah, the benefits of hardware.

Jamie faked being polite and ignorant of the situation. He even introduced himself to Gippal and shook his hand. Yeah, shocking, I know. He didn't feel in the mood to fold anyone else in half right now, so he thought it best just to play it cool until he knew what this was all about. _Then_ he would get violent.

Mmmm…violence.

"Actually, I was just leaving." Gippal shrugged. "Just think about it, Rikku, okay?"

"Fine," a second passed. "There I'm done; now _leave_"

The other Al Bhed shook his head and turned away, walking off towards the more common part of the city.

"Hmph," Jamie snickered mockingly. "He looks like fun." Of course he was being sarcastic. He looked at Rikku and gave her a little smile. Funny, she was awfully angry. Damn, she was _cute_ when she was pissed. Those fiery green eyes made him feel all tingly inside. Ooh, fuzziness alert!

Rikku took a couple of steps until she stood only millimeters away from him. She never blinked as their eyes met; she didn't blink when she slapped him across the face. Jamie felt his head jerk to the side, the burning in his cheek. He felt the surprise of it all. He looked at her, not knowing if he should ask what that was for, unable to speak at all.

"It _was_ you, wasn't it! You were at the dome yesterday!" she was shouting at him, stabbing her finger into the center of his chest with tears rolling down her face. He'd never seen her so angry before.

"Why did you leave!" she suddenly grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and shook him. It hurt to see all of the pain being projected through her fierce expression.

"Because," he spoke calmly, taking her hands and prying them away. "I saw that man with his arms around you. I felt like I wasn't _needed__anymore_."

Rikku jerked her hands free of his and shook her head hard in protest. "Do I look like someone who doesn't need you! There's _nothing_," she emphasized the word in a grinding tone. "Between Gippal and I. Maybe once I just turned to him for support, but that was only because _you_ weren't there! _Do you have any idea how long it's been_!" she almost screamed the last part.

"Years," he looked hurt. He knew his absence had caused her a great deal of pain, but he had no idea exactly how much. Well, it couldn't have been much worse than what he went through with their separation.

"_Four years_!" she was pounding out the words on his chest now. She hits hard, he even flinched as small breaths were forced out of him. She repeated those two words several times before she just broke down and cried. Her hands fisted in his shirt as she pressed her face into his shoulder.

Jamie put his arms around her, feeling his heart slowly ripping itself into small pieces. He couldn't stand to see her this way. It almost made _him_ want to cry. And Jamison Black _doesn't_ cry. Man, what a day for a heart-wrenching reunion. He almost wanted to kick himself. For what reason he wasn't sure yet.

"I didn't _want_ to go," he spoke softly, just loud enough for her to hear him. "The Fayth…"

"_Fuck the Fayth!_ I'm so sick and tired of hearing about _The Fayth_! I just wish they would stop playing with our lives!"

He cringed inwardly at her words. What a mess this had made her. Jamie embraced her tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I would've come back sooner if I could."

Rikku calmed down and eventually stopped crying. It exhausted her, not considering that the morning's headache still hadn't gone away. She almost felt like throwing up again. She wanted to go back to bed. Rikku tried to stand on her own but found that she was unable to move. Her bones had turned to mush and her muscles had died.

"You okay?" he asked. "Or do you feel the need to hit me some more?"

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I was just…you made me mad."

"I felt like I deserved a good smack upside the head anyway. If you didn't give it to me I would've done it myself eventually." He laughed a little, hoping it would cheer her up. Suddenly she sneezed.

"Cold?"

"No. When was the last time you had a bath?"

"Huh?"

"You smell like a dog that's been rolling in mud."

"Well jeeze, thanks for the compliment." But she was right. He did a self check and cringed. He was reeking. However he didn't think he smelled like mud. Sweat maybe, but not mud. "Okay, maybe you're right."

"And your clothes are a mess." She shook her head at him.

"So?" It was just a little dirt and a butt-load of fiend shmeg. Big deal.

"I doubt the others want to see you like that. It's embarrassing, even for you." She grabbed hold of his shirt again and started pulling him towards the airship with what little strength she had left. He followed, as if she had to twist his arm. It wasn't like she dragged him. He was willing. Hell, what did you expect? Haven't we had enough drama so far? Vultures…

_(II)_

This airship was bigger than Cid's. It seemed more heavily equipped also. It had cannon panels out the yin-yang on the bridge; maybe so much as a dozen. And they weren't two-bit missile launchers either. They were pulsar disruptor mortars; top grade. At least, that's what Rikku said.

"You built this yourself?" Jamie asked. Needless to say he was impressed.

"I had a little help; but yeah, for the most part."

"It's nice," he nodded his head.

She led him down one of the dozens of corridors on board and stopped in front of a door. A few dim floor lights were on, casting weak shadows on the reinforced steel walls.

"Take your clothes off,"

His breath caught for a moment. He had to have the question repeated.

"I can't wash your clothes if you're still wearing them, silly. In there is the shower."

"Oh yeah," he laughed, his cheeks turning a bit red. "I knew that."

"Sure you did." Finally, she smiled.

Jamie went through the door and closed it behind him. Once stripped he opened it a little again to hand her his laundry.

"I'll leave some clean clothes for you."

"Thanks." And then she had left down the hall.

The water on the airship was hot, and it felt pretty damn good. He hadn't had a shower this relaxing since…um…I'll have to get back to you on that. This allowed him to finally feel the least bit welcomed to this world again. He couldn't care less _why_ anymore. It didn't matter. He and Rikku could be together again, that was reason enough.

Jamie stepped out dripping and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. He wiped the thick condensation off of the mirror with his hand and was slightly surprised to see himself reflected. He forgot how pale he really was. All the dirt must've made him look tanned. At least, that was his guess. He didn't pay much more attention to it than that. He saw the clothes Rikku had left him sitting on the edge of the sink. He dried himself off a little more before putting them on. Afterwards he went to the bridge. He found Rikku there, fiddling with buttons. Yay, fiddling!

"Oh good, they fit. I thought they would be too big."

"They're fine. Your brother's?"

"Yeah, they were."

Jamie looked at her curiously.

"Brother died some months ago."

"Oh…oh, Rikku, I'm sorry," he felt on the verge of panic.

"No-no, it's okay. I'm over it." She sighed.

Jamie didn't think it was okay. He walked up and hugged her from behind.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he whispered.

"I understand." She put her hands over his. A long lost warmth seeped through their connection. It was still there, even after all of this time apart. Well, I suppose absence really _does_ make the heart grow fonder.

Rikku made him loose his grip only so she could turn around to face him. She saw the mildly saddened look on his face.

"I just," he paused a moment to get the words right. "I just hate knowing that you've been through so much, that I couldn't be there when you needed me."

"You're here now, aren't you?"

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing," she put her fingertips over his mouth. "I need you now, and you're _here_ _now_. So let's not talk about it anymore." She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted herself up to kiss him.

Jamie gave a long sigh, like the world had just rolled off of his shoulders. His heart rate increased slightly as he felt her body leaning against him. One of his arms curled around her waist, pulling their hips together with slight force. His other hand started near the same place and drew itself slowly up the curve of her spine, outlining her shoulder blades. The past four years had been so kind to her figure.

He began to refresh his memory of her; how she smelled, tasted, felt to his skin.

Rikku moaned a little at his touch. Feeling it through their kiss gave him goose bumps. He felt one of her knees drawing upward against his thigh; his first instinct was to grab hold of it and rest it on his hip. He felt Rikku starting to put more weight against him, so he picked her up and sat her on the console. A few beeps happened but they didn't seem to care. Their kissing became more raw, ravenous and desperate. Rikku pulled at the tail of his shirt, wordlessly begging to take it off. Who cares if he'd just gotten dressed, right?

Rikku threw it to the floor and let her hands do all of the familiarizing. Her eyes were, too, busy. Her soft touch dwelled over his cool skin, over scars and new muscles that had never been there before. He'd grown into such a…_man_. It only served to stoke the flames of the fire they were building.

Jamie's hands fumbled with the string she tried to pass off as cover. When it finally came undone he tossed it away, leaning back a little to get a good look at her. If he could speak at all he would only say one word. _Damn_. He reached down and put a hand over her breast, giving it an experimental squeeze. Hey, it's just like checking your tires every few thousand miles. Ooh, did I just make a bad joke? I _did_, didn't I? Ha-ha!

Rikku lost it after that. In fact both of them tossed caution to the wind like they had their clothes and made love on the console. Four years had been long enough to amount stress, and they were just getting rid of it. And they let go of everything; it wasn't like anyone would hear them.

The sun was setting outside as it drew to a close. Sweat dripped off of Jamison's chin as he thrust into her with everything he had. Not that he was being rough; he just wanted this so badly he couldn't stand to hold himself back. He was on his final strand when at last he threw his head back, roaring as he came, his nails grinding into the metal of the console. He was about to collapse from the shock of the energy burst, but he gave his last bit of strength to make her climax one last time. Then he allowed himself to fall forward, supporting his weight with an arm that trembled with fatigue.

Rikku had her arms around his neck, kissing him softly on the forehead and cheek. She could feel his heart thundering through his chest, almost in time with her own. She shivered slightly as sweat rolled down her back and her thighs, it having started to cool.

"Oh my God," he gasped. He was exhausted.

"You okay?"

He could only nod, nuzzling his forehead into her shoulder. Jamie was so tired he could feel his legs threatening to give out from underneath him. If he didn't move he was going to fall.

Rikku sat up slowly, pushing against his shoulder. He managed to lift his head and look at her. She looked so beautiful to him. He put his forehead to hers and kissed her lips softly, not having the ability for anything else at this point.

"I love you." He had to force it out.

"I love you too," she replied, knowing he was on the verge of passing out.

"We…we should get married." He stammered a little. "Could we?"

"Maybe," she wanted to think about it first. He would understand.

When they had the energy they went to bed. It felt like a long walk but they eventually made it. Jamie was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Not to mention the bed was comfortable enough to die in. He was comatose, but when Rikku put her arm around him, her fingers lacing together with his, he gripped them somewhat tightly.

It looked like things were finally starting to go well for him.

Author's Note: Jeeze; who'd have thought you could over sex a Fanfiction? I certainly didn't until just now. What am I doing with all these people screwing around? …Pun intended. And what's with all these people getting married! ACK! Oh well, maybe it's some psychosomatic bullshit that I haven't figured out. Wait…I just did. Never mind. I know what my problem is…and what makes you think I'm telling you weird people! Don't come in, I'm naked!


	6. Smith and Lazarus Syndrome

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Six  
Smith and Lazarus Syndrome**

Yuna was pacing like a caged animal. She was worried, needless to say. She hadn't seen Rikku since day before yesterday and hadn't heard anything either. The airship was still docked so she had to be _somewhere_; however, after hearing of her behavior at the bar, she didn't think it a good thing to go look for her. Now she wanted to kick herself.

"I'm sure she's fine, Yuna," Tidus shrugged. "If something had happened, we would've heard about. Andrea would have sensed it at least."

He had a point. She would've like she had before, but Andrea never said anything about it. The High Summoner managed to force herself to sit down, but she was still anxious. Tidus shook his head and stood up. He walked over to Yuna and handed her the baby, saying that holding Lani would probably relax her.

"You sure the separation won't cause a seizure?" she laughed a bit.

"Am I that bad?"

"No, it's not that. You're just awfully possessive. One might almost call you selfish."

"_Selfish_? Well that's a new one." He sat back down on the bed. He didn't have an excuse. But was it a crime to hold your own child a little more than other people? Okay…a _lot_ more, but…you still get the point.

It was quiet for a while, a few minutes maybe. Yuna about half jumped when someone knocked on the door. Whoever it was let themselves in. It was Andrea and Dennis.

"Hey guys," she greeted, waiting for Dennis to enter so she could shut the door again. "How's it going; everyone doing okay?"

"Fine; I'm just a little worried."

"How so?"

"We haven't seen or heard from Rikku all morning or yesterday."

"Did you check the airship?" She asked.

"We thought about it," Tidus answered. "But I suppose if she's hung over she'd want to be left alone."

"You can't get more truthful than that." Andrea snickered a bit. "But I'm sure she's fine…where _is_ everybody?"

"Paine went back to Bevelle yesterday. She wanted to get word to Baralai as soon as she could." I suppose the High Summoner was satisfied with having her husband do all the talking. Was he whipped, or what?

"What about Gippal?" she sounded suspicious of something. "He still slinking around here?"

"I don't…think so," Tidus paused mid sentence and gave Yuna a look with a raised eyebrow.

"I hope you're not thinking what _I think_ you're thinking," Dennis said cautiously. Hoping against hope as he looked at Andrea.

"Yeah…I'm thinking it," she nodded as she reached for the doorknob. "Excuse me,"

She threw open the door and didn't even make a single step across the threshold. Andrea jumped back and tripped on her own feet, swearing out loud the name of one George Washington Christ. She fell against the edge of the bed and her rear hit the ground hard.

"Some welcome; you look like you've just seen a ghost," Rikku whined, feeling a little bit offended by Andrea's reaction. And who the hell was George Washington Christ? I'm sure we're _all_ wondering that right about now.

"Where have you been?" Yuna had her mother voice one. Oh joy.

"Well," she smiled mischievously. "Let's just say I was taking a little…me time." She giggled a bit.

"What's with the grin?" Tidus wondered. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she replied. As if the world couldn't get any better. "Actually, I have a surprise for you guys."

"Rikku, if you smile any harder the top of your head is going to fall off." Andrea groaned. Rikku just stuck her tongue out at her. Andrea would've shown her the ever-so-social finger, but had second thoughts and decided not to.

"Well, I suppose as long as _Choogie_ hasn't materialized himself out of your navel," Dennis tried hard not to laugh. "We have nothing to worry about."

"You big meanie! But in all seriousness, I want to show you something."

"What?" they all wondered aloud at once. It was almost creepy.

Rikku looked like she was about to pee herself, she wouldn't hold still. She made this god awful grin before half stepping out the door and gesturing to someone to come. A dark haired man in a black duster and blue jeans walked in.

"Jamie!" Andrea and Dennis where the only ones who didn't have the slightest clue as to who this man was. However, Andrea did have a very shocked look on her face, just like Yuna and Tidus.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm back." It was a nice change of pace to have people relatively happy to see him. "Good to see you guys again."

"Where have you been?" Tidus asked.

He gave the short version of the explanation and did very well not to call Tidus dumbass. Hey, they sound similar enough to mix up!

"So are you here for good this time?" Yuna wanted to know.

"I'd like to think so. I'm hoping." He replied. "So, I heard you got married?"

The High Summoner nodded and Jamie looked over to Tidus. Okay, that was more than enough to tell him everything. Then his eyes fell on the child in Yuna's arms. His eyes widened a little.

"Yours?"

She nodded again. "What did you think?"

"I dunno. Maybe you'd turned out to be one hell of a babysitter. I can only imagine what I've missed." He shrugged the last part.

"Plenty," Yuna replied. "But we can talk about all that later. When did you get here?"

"Day before yesterday. I was at the dome when the fiends attacked."

"So that _was_ you?"

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, but enough about that. Just out of curiosity; where are the others?"

"Kimahri is the elder on Gagezet now," she paused a moment. "And Wakka and Lulu are still living on Besaid. They're married and have a child now."

"Whoa-wait, wait just a minute," he gestured a pause with his hands. "You mean the two of them are…together?"

The High Summoner nodded again as an answer.

"Whoo; didn't see that coming," and he scratched the back of his head with a sheepish chuckle. "_And_ they have a kid? What is with all of you getting pregnant all of sudden?" Of course he was just joking.

"Heh-heh, that's funny." Did Rikku's laugh ever sound so _fake_? It was like she knew something but wasn't intending to tell anyone. Andrea was the only one who seemed to notice, but she hid the fact.

Once the awkwardness of that moment had passed, the pleasantries were pretty much forgotten.

"So does anyone have a clue what happened the other day?" Jamie was just as curious as the rest of them.

"We have a lead, but we're still not too sure." Dennis decided to speak.

"You sound like you've dealt with these things before."

"We have. They're half fiends, having been crossed with the unsent." Andrea answered. "But something's different about these. They've been fused with Machina parts."

"So you're thinking an Al Bhed is the cause of all this?" Jamie asked, his nerves being tested slightly.

"Who else could it be?"

Everyone noticed the stern glaring going on between the two of them and urged that they stop before an argument started. Jamie turned back to Yuna.

"So what about this lead?"

"There's a chance," Andrea started talking again. She hadn't told anyone about it yet so she and Dennis where the only two who could answer him. "That we may have to go to Bevelle." Jamie flinched at the mentioning of the place. Bad memories I guess.

"Really?" Tidus wanted verification. See, I told you they didn't know.

"Andrea believes she had a vision last night. I think we should look into it." Dennis added.

"She psychic or something?" Jamie asked.

"I can be." Boy, they were really going at each other's throats, and it wasn't even intentional. It was almost like their opposition was natural. "I can't deliberately look into the future, if that's what you're thinking. But Yuna, I think it would be best that you and Tidus go back to the island. It's about time they got the heads up."

"You mean…"

Andrea only nodded. She didn't need to explain.

"What?" Jamie didn't know a thing about all of this, as they had for the past six months or so now.

"I'll fill you in later," the Black Belt told him. "On the way to Bevelle I guess."

"So you'll go there and try out your hunch?" The High Summoner was just curious. It would make her feel better to know.

"Yeah. If it's okay with Ri-Ri, it would be quicker to take the airship. It would save us a lot of time."

"But Paine's in Bevelle…" she was whining about it.

"So?" Dennis wanted her explain this. This was going to be priceless. He could feel it.

"But I'm allergic to Paine!"

"How do you figure?" her cousin was far from convinced.

"When I get near Paine I…I break out in bruises."

Everyone but Jamie and Rikku started laughing. As far as he knew, Paine wasn't a person. Last time he checked pain just hurt.

"If you're _that_ scared of her, you could stay on the airship. But I'm not making any promises on how long this is going to take." Andrea had to calm down before talking again.

"I'm not scared! I just…you know. It's like she said; I'm usually the only one in reach!"

Yuna laughed. She was the only other person in the room that understood that. Then she never thought that massive welt on her arm would ever go away.

"But, getting back to the point," Dennis interjected. "I hate that we have to split up, but it's all we have to work with right now."

"It's okay," Yuna assured him. "We'll get more done sooner this way. Tidus and I could leave for Besaid in a few hours."

_(II)_

The High Summoner and her family took the last ferry for Besaid. It was late in the afternoon by then. The others saw them off just to be sure they left Luca all right. Andrea was already set on paranoid mode and she didn't want to take the least possible chance in someone getting hurt.

After that they headed for Rikku's airship. One of them braved asking the question of what she came to call it. Andrea knew she didn't have to be psychic to figure that out. The Pickle was its name. Yeah, go figure. Hey, it could've been worse…a lot worse. Choogie could have reared his ugly head…yeah; see, I told you.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Andrea looked at Dennis who walked beside her. "What?"

"Something's bugging you. You've been kind of grouchy ever since that guy showed up." He gestured to Jamie.

"Yeah well," she shrugged. "He's been in some of my visions."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"Because," she replied. "It's what happens during my visions while he's there that bothers me."

"Like what?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but I have a feeling it's not a very good thing. I can't help it; my defenses are up about him."

"He can't be all that bad if Rikku's so happy that he's here. That's got to count for something, doesn't it?"

"I suppose so." She thought about, considering changing her mind about the New Yorker. "Hell, I don't even know him that well. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions."

"And you're admitting it? My goodness,"

"You're mocking me aren't you?"

"Maybe a little," he smirked at her. She just muttered "brat" under her breath and went on.

_(II)_

They arrived in Bevelle late that night. Rikku landed some distance outside the city and they decided to wait until morning to get things moving. Andrea had to compliment her on her flying; she was surprisingly skilled. And the fact that the thing actually held together was impressive. Not too bad for a ship named Pickle.

Rikku had to assure Jamie several times that Bevelle was a safe place compared to the last time he was here. She had to go through the entire Sin spiel and the exchange of power that occurred while he was gone. He still seemed hesitant to go without being jittery. Old habits I suppose.

The first thought Jamie had when he saw Paine was: "Hey, Lulu got a breast reduction!" And to him, Baralai made him think Wakka had bleached his hair. Yes I know, the similarities are mind numbing. Speaking of mind numbing…never mind.

Jamie was able to hear the most of if not the whole story behind coming here. He learned of Andrea's vision and what she thought it could mean. Hmmm, interesting. Well, to be honest, she wasn't sure what it could mean if anything. But she talked about her so called "hunch" and wanting help in following it. The Praetor offered her access to any part of the city she needed, such as the archives and the less traveled areas of the temple. Thank God he was so agreeable. If the Maesters were still around she would probably have a much harder time doing this. Of course she only thought of this through word of mouth. She'd never actually met one of them. By the stories she'd heard from Yuna, however, she was pretty sure that wasn't such a bad thing.

_(II)_

The library of Bevelle was awesome. Bookcases at least ten feet high touched the ceiling and had not so much as a single empty space on the shelves. Baralai left them to their own devices, trusting them enough not to destroy anything…too much.

"So what are we looking for exactly?" Rikku asked, picking one book randomly off of a shelf she could reach.

"I dunno really," Andrea replied with a hint of embarrassment. "See if you can find some history books; very old ones. That would be a start I suppose. Maybe some blueprints for the city would help."

"What, are you planning to take it over?" Jamie laughed.

Andrea didn't answer. She was already flipping through a few dusty pages. In fact, after a few minutes, that's what everyone was doing.

This went on for maybe an hour and nothing came of their search. Books started piling up on the floor, some of them open and with dog eared pages. This would've continued for another hour if there wasn't a large crash near the back of the room. Then someone called for help from beneath a pile of books. Out of reflex everyone stopped what they were doing and ran towards the sound.

One of the massive bookcases had tipped over, dozens and dozens of volumes falling to the floor. They began tossing the books aside, digging out whomever it was that was confined beneath this mess. It was a young woman with purple highlights in her hair, and her once nicely fitted glasses now had cracked lenses.

"Jennifer? What are you doing here?" Andrea remembered her from six months ago.

"I live here, duh."

Jamie looked at Jennifer then looked to Rikku, his face twisted in confusion. He did this several times before realizing that they looked incredibly alike. Was this the twilight zone or something? Rikku has a Gothic twin! Rock on! Well, he had to admit she was pretty hot.

"Hey, who's this guy?" she looked Jamie up and down. "He's cute,"

"_Isn't he_?" Rikku was getting into giddy-girly mode. Oh crap. Jennifer stood up in front of him, looking him over and nodding her head in approval. Jamie wasn't sure if he should feel weird or feel egotistical. I mean, he had two drop dead gorgeous woman hanging on him; how much better could it get?

"He's with me," Rikku said, making sure the boundaries of her territory were plainly set out.

"Couldn't I borrow him on the weekends or something?"

"Ladies, ladies," Jamie finally stepped in. "There's plenty of me to go around. In fact I encourage sharing," Did anyone else see Jamie's morals fly out the window, or was that just me?

Andrea suddenly made this noise like vomiting before walking away. She couldn't take anymore of this crap. Everyone was being so sleazy and that made her ill. Well, by now she was already pretty miffed about not finding anything yet that would help make sense of her visions; this was just adding to the pile of bullshit amounting in her head. It was undoubtedly making her blood pressure shoot through the roof. She had to get out of this room and get some fresh air. She headed for the door.

Just as she reached for the knob the door swung open. It jerked to a halt when it smacked her soundly in the side of the head. She staggered a little bit, swearing incoherently, or at least it sounded that way seeing as none of the curse words were combined in a rational way. Milk Bastard was uttered (Ha-ha, get it? Uttered? Milk Bastard…You people suck.) Dennis laughed at that one. He couldn't help it.

"Hey Dennis, are you in here…oh, hi Andrea."

"Nice to see you too, Paine," she groaned. There was a small lump growing just above her ear.

"Is Dennis around?"

"Yeah," and she simply pointed in the White Mage's direction.

Paine walked through the main passage of the library to where the books had fallen on the floor. She was about to speak to Dennis but was distracted by her younger sister, staring all funny at Jamie. She thought about it a second and then shrugged.

"God, they have the same taste in men. We're all screwed,"

"That's not funny, sis."

"She's your sister?" Jamie almost looked worried. Well, if only he knew Paine as well as everyone else. Jennifer shook her head with a not-so-enthusiastic hum of a reply.

"So you wanted to see me?" Dennis asked, getting more to the important things.

"Yeah; you were the only person I could think of to come to."

"What is it?" he paused. "Are you pregnant?"

"_N_o I'm _not_," she spoke through a clenched jaw. "A child of the High Priest is really sick. He was hoping you would help him."

"Couldn't they get someone with more training?" he looked worried.

"He asked for you personally,"

Dennis thought only for a short moment before nodded his head. He followed Paine out of the library, not noticing Andrea trailing closely behind. After a few moments of awkward silence the others made their way along with the rest of them.

_(II)_

Paine hadn't been exaggerating about the child's illness. In fact she had been understating the severity of it. This kid wasn't sick, he was dying. He could tell once he walked into the room that his life was petering out.

The boy's father stood there, not knowing what to do with the anxiety stricken expression of a fearful parent.

"How long has he been this way, sir?"

"Only a couple of days. It worsened just overnight."

The boy was sweating, his skin colorless, and sweat was covering his face. He was barely even breathing. He couldn't have been more than ten years old. He was so young.

"None of the other mages can explain it," and neither could Dennis. He was just as taken by surprise and as answerless as anyone else. Regardless, he had to try and do something. He wasn't given the golden chain for nothing.

Dennis used his strongest magic. He tried everything he knew, and for a very long, stressful hour nothing had worked. It didn't seem to anyway. The boy's condition remained unchanged. Finally, all but exhausted, Dennis simply put his finger to the boy's wrist.

_One…two…three……four……five………six…_

He waited…seven never came. He made a last check on the child's neck, but still there was nothing. With a defeated shrug he stood up from where he had been kneeling beside the child's bed. He looked at the High Priest, finding it hard to speak.

"Maybe if I'd gotten here sooner, sir," he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

The High Priest didn't blink. He didn't say a word. He just fell back into his chair, almost collapsing. He was in too great a state of shock to really react to what had just happened.

Dennis walked out of the room, leaving the door open. He didn't look at any of them as they had been waiting outside. He went a short way down the hall and leaned back against the wall. He slid down to the floor. He had not succeeded.

Andrea looked at him from where she stood. She could read that look, feel a mild fraction of his pain. She could understand it though. He'd trained nearly his entire life just to heal, and he'd failed. That would upset anyone. But wait…maybe it wasn't over yet.

Andrea walked resolutely into the room where the High Priest remained, not seeming to hear him talking to her. He commanded her to leave, to get away from his son. He was yelling after she didn't obey. Andrea continued to ignore him as she took a knee on the floor. She looked at the dead boy, feeling how his life force had left him. She felt connected to it, like it was a part of her.

She rubbed her hands together as if cold and then raised them over the bed. She took a deep breath and held it. The palms of her hands began to glow red, the light mounted in the ceiling started to flicker on and off. Everyone was watching with disbelief. What in the blue fuck was going on?

When Andrea finally exhaled, the red light in her hands sparked into fire. She kept her breathing as steady as she could as she brought her hands together, cradling the combined flames. Her body felt heavy, like a vice was tightening itself around her chest. She'd never tried this before, so she hadn't the slightest idea what it was going to do to her.

She reached out her cupped hands, releasing the ball of Phoenix fire and allowing it to hover in the air. A bead of sweat slipped down her face; she paid little attention to it. Her heart was pounding slow but very hard. It hurt. Stay focused.

The flame slowly descended and became somehow absorbed by the child's body; it didn't burn him. It consumed his entire form with a warm, golden light. When it dissipated, the flickering in the light stopped, and the vice loosened its grip around Andrea's chest. Her heart stopped pounding so hard. The pain was slowly subsiding.

The boy opened his eyes and slowly sat up. He seemed perfectly healthy by anyone's standards. I think it's safe to say everyone gasped in amazement. Dennis' jaw fell open. How is that possible? He was dead; Dennis was positive!

The High Priest was beside himself. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He was crying in his happiness, praising the gods, as many as he could think to name.

"How can I ever repay you?"

Andrea stood up, wobbling a bit. Her head felt slightly detached from her body at the moment.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "Consider it a gift."

She walked out of the room and into the hall to the thunderstruck expression of her companions. She exchanged glances with all of them before muttering something about "needing to step outside" and walking off.

_(III)_

Jamie couldn't sleep at all that night. What he had witnessed bothered him too much. That child was _dead_; he knew it. However, after that little trick with the lights, he _sat up_! What in the hell had happened? Was it possible for resurrection? No, that couldn't be! It was against the laws of nature for Pete's sake!

He thought about this all night.

It was almost dawn and he was exhausted. He shrugged for perhaps the twelfth time and Rikku hit him with a pillow.

"Would you go to sleep already?" she groaned.

"I can't; today freaked me out. How did she do that?"

"Why don't you go and ask her,"

Hey, there's an idea. Like he hadn't thought of it before. Well, he had, but he wasn't so much of a smart ass to go and wake people in the middle of the night.

"I doubt she's asleep either," Rikku continued. "Just go and talk to her if it bothers you that much."

Fine, he thought. What did he have to lose?

Jamie walked the halls of Bevelle for perhaps a half hour. He stepped out into the courtyard of the temple, shivering slightly at the chill in the early morning air. Focusing through the dim light he saw Andrea standing on the Highbridge. It took him some time, but he eventually found his way up there.

"What are you doing?" she asked. She didn't even look at him. It was a bit creepy.

"Well," he stuttered a bit before he got over the strange vibe. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Go ahead."

He waited a second. He'd half expected her to care, but she looked the exact opposite of that.

"You want me to explain what happened, don't you?"

"Hmph, you read minds too?"

"No. I could tell. I can imagine that you aren't used to the possibility of raising the dead." She sounded mildly arrogant.

"I suppose you're right. Man, and I thought that after living in New York I'd seen everything."

"New York huh?"

"Yeah. You're not from here either, are you?"

"How could you tell?"

"Your clothes mostly." And Andrea nodded her head. They were a bit obvious, weren't they. There was a silence for a long while.

"So how did you do that?"

Andrea shrugged. She hated having to talk about this. She'd come to hate it, knowing that no one could really identify with it.

"I have a spirit living inside of me. The Phoenix gives me the power over life and death." That was putting it in the short-short-short version. She saw the look on his face and didn't think to say anything more.

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know. It just _is_."

"Why did you revive the kid?"

"He didn't deserve to die." She seemed certain about it. She was indeed very confident in her answer.

"Who are you to say?"

"I _am_ the Phoenix," she said firmly. "It's my purpose; it's what I exist for."

Jamie glared at her hard, expecting her to look at him to see his reaction. She didn't move, just shrugged.

As another long silence passed between them, Andrea felt a need to ask something. They'd dropped the previous subject obviously, so now was as good a time as any to talk about it.

"So when did you get here?"

"Oh," he thought a moment. "The first time was about four years ago. At least on Earth that's how much time went by."

Andrea nodded. "You're right. Their time runs the same. So you saw Sin?"

Jamie nodded. "I was with Yuna then."

"I thought so. You left after that?"

"Hmph; didn't have much of a choice."

"I know what you mean. Was it the Fayth?"

"You really _do_ know, don't you?" he laughed sarcastically.

"Let's just say that our circumstances are similar. The Fayth and I have a history as well."

Jamie shook his head and laughed to himself. The Fayth had such a long, terrible reach. He could only imagine the other lives they'd fucked around with. He shrugged.

"Do you know why you're here?" she asked suddenly.

He didn't think about it, he just spoke.

"For Rikku," he said. "I don't care if that's the real reason why…it's _my_ reason."

"It must be nice to be so certain." She thought that he had to be the one with the Al Bhed in all of her visions. There was little denying it now. Still, that didn't answer much.

"When you arrived the other day," she changed the subject slightly. "Did anything strange happen? I mean, stranger than usual."

"Well," he thought a moment, tugging at the short hairs on his chin. "Aside from those weird fiends, nothing much; I had a strange dream but that's about it."

Andrea finally turned her head slightly to look at him. The first glance towards him all evening from her; he almost didn't want it. It made him feel funny, and not so much in his no-no zone.

"What did you see?"

"It was…just a mist; a black cloud with legs and eyes. I think it had two heads. I'm pretty sure it was a dream, because after that I saw my body being ripped apart and eaten. And no, I wasn't on any drugs."

Andrea just nodded, taking a moment to process all of that. It made as much sense as her visions right now. Well, there was a way to get a better picture, but she didn't want to do that. She didn't think she could stand the strain of it.

There was a long silence again. Jamie thought about asking for a possible explanation to his dream, but he lost the thought after a few seconds. He took a couple of steps closer to the railing of the Highbridge and leaned forward against it. He could the tops of trees in Macalania, noticing that the canopy of the forest didn't look as thick as it was before. Was it fading?

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Andrea replied.

"You've been here a while, right?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"How has Rikku been?" He hated to admit it, but he knew Rikku wasn't telling him everything. "I heard her brother died."

Andrea felt her insides twist into a knot. Damn; she wasn't expecting this sort of thing to come up.

"Yeah…a few months ago now."

"How?"

"You…you don't want to hear it…not from me."

"What do you mean?" Andrea started to walk away. "Was it _you_?" he went into immediate pissed-for-your-girl's-honor mode.

Andrea continued to walk away without answering. Jamie bit his lip as he pursued and quickly came up behind her, grabbing her by the arm.

Jamison suddenly felt like he got hit in the back of the head with a frozen sledge- hammer. His whole spine went cold. He lost all of the feeling in his limbs, his ears beginning to ring as he heard someone shout as if in pain. He couldn't feel his knees giving out from beneath him, but felt the back of his head hit steel. His vision tunneled as he looked up at the sky that was slowly becoming daylight. His head felt light, as if he was floating. He saw brief flashbacks of his life, from beginning to end, as if it lasted only seconds before everything went black.

Author's Note: Argh! What the hell am I doing! I don't know either! If anyone figures it out before me, let me know. Anyway; if you have no clue as to what just happened, it's okay. I don't understand it much myself. Actually I do, but I can't tell you; you'll find out in the next chapter. As for the title of this one…if you've read the Bible, you'll get half of it. If you watch The Dead Zone, you'll get the other half. If you don't do either just kiss my flat white ass. If you want to read the rest of this bad enough you won't be offended by that.


	7. The Temple of St Bevelle

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Seven  
The Temple of St. Bevelle**

His head felt like someone had dropped an anvil on it. He would've sworn there was a lump as big as his fist on the back of his skull. It throbbed painfully. He felt someone shaking him hard, yelling at him to wake up. Jamie forced his eyes to open, just a little at least.

"Would you _stop_ scaring the living _crap_ out of me already?" Rikku had him by the shirt collar. By the looks of things he was still outside, lying on the Highbridge.

"What," he sounded groggy. "Did I do now?"

"What were you doing out here?"

"Um," he searched his mind for the memory. "I-uh…I was talking with somebody…I was talking with Andrea."

"I know that," she snapped. "What are you doing _lying here_?"

Jamie sat up on his own and looked around, rubbing the back of his head at the now slightly dull pain.

"I remember…It think we were starting to argue. She tried to walk off and I went after her. Then it's blank."

"Hmph; she probably hit you." She laughed mildly and helped him to stand. She held to his hand until his legs stopped wobbling.

"Where is she anyway?"

"Probably inside. Come on, I don't want you catching a cold or anything."

"I don't catch colds, you know that."

"I'm not taking any chances." Boy was she cranky. She led him firmly by the hand down from the Highbridge and back into the temple. Well, he could understand. Finding him out cold was probably a bad shock for her. Well, he thought positively; at least she didn't take advantage of me and take my clothes off like last time. Wait…_was_ that a _good thing_? He shook the thought away, knowing that if he dwelled on it anymore they'd have to find a nice shady spot. It wouldn't be like Rikku would reject a quickie, even in her rough mood, but now just didn't feel like a good time.

_(II)_

Andrea held a glass of water in her shaking hands. She sat on the edge of the bed, Dennis watching her nervously. He was waiting for her to explain what had happened.

"I…I didn't expect it. I was going to wait until I was more certain." She spoke distantly, her brain just ever so slightly fried.

"What happened?"

"I was talking with Jamie and was walking away as we started to argue. He grabbed me by the shoulder. I…had a vision." She replied. "We need to get everyone together; they have to know."

"Maybe you should rest a while,"

"No," she protested abruptly. "I want to relay this before I forget anything. Get everyone into the library…that would be best. Make sure no one outside the group hears about it."

"At least lie down for a few minutes," he was begging her. "You look like you're about to drop dead!"

"I'll worry about it later. We have things more important to do right _now_."

_(II)_

Within the next hour they were all gathered in the silent confines of the library. For a long while it was just Rikku and Jamie. After the first half hour Rikku went to find Paine and Baralai, but came back empty handed and red in the face. Her explanation was that they were "doing some paperwork". At least that's what _she_ said. Jamie didn't want to know really. He'd just sooner stay out of it. It seemed awkward at first that Yuna wasn't there, but the feeling only lasted a few moments. She would be told everything once the opportunity presented itself. Hell, it was more time that the High Summoner didn't have to worry.

Everyone waited anxiously, curious as to what this was all about. Jamie leaned against a bookcase with his arms crossed. He couldn't care less what was going on, but if Rikku was involved, he was bound to be all over it. Plus he still had questions for Andrea to answer. After last night he had full intentions of grilling her until she told him what he wanted to know.

The doors suddenly were pushed open.

_"Speak of the Devil._"

Andrea and Dennis walked in, closing the door and locking it behind them. They couldn't chance anyone hearing this. Too many things could go wrong if any of this got out. The two of them walked forward, everyone's eyes on them. Andrea pulled out a chair from one of the reading tables and turned it around, sitting in it backwards, leaning forward against the back of it. Dennis chose to remain standing.

It was quiet for what felt like hours.

"Last night," she began slowly. "I had a vision. Now I know for certain that it's starting."

"How do you know?" Paine asked. She and the Praetor had made it after all.

"One of the other Guardians is here." She replied. "He's in this room actually."

Everyone had this surprised look, glancing around the room as if the answer would just pop up and smack them upside the head. Jamie felt Rikku squeeze his hand, as if she knew what Andrea was babbling about. As far as he was concerned she was fucking crazy.

"So much makes sense now," she continued. "Doesn't it, Jamie?"

All eyes shifted towards him. Jamie cocked up an eyebrow and looked at everyone.

"What the _fuck _are you talking about?"

"Use that lump on your neck for something besides a hat rack, would you? If you can't do that then I'll just spell it out for you." She spoke to him firmly. "You are one of the four Guardians that created Spira. That's the _real_ reason you were brought here."

Jamie just shook his head after thinking about it for a second. "You're nuts."

"Am I? What about that black mist you saw on the Highroad? That wasn't a dream; that really happened."

"Prove it." He spat. "If that really happened then why am I still here? That thing _ate_ me!"

Andrea shook her head. "You misunderstand; it _absorbed_ your body. It's living inside of you now."

"Fine," he shrugged. "Let's just say, for sake of the argument, that you're right. What difference does that make?"

"A large one," she replied. "Just like me you have a duty to this planet, to its people. And whether you like it or not it's yours and yours alone to bear. You can't give it away, you can't deny it. You have no choice but to accept it."

"This is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard." Jamie said firmly. Honest to goodness he didn't believe a word of it. Just the ramblings of a whacked out crack head. Damn, she was making Cocaine look like pixie sticks.

"Everyone here will confirm what I've told you. What I'm telling you is the truth. If you don't believe me," she sounded it was a dare. "Ask Rikku."

Jamie gave Andrea a dirty look before turning to look at the Al Bhed standing beside him. The look on her face surprised him. She seemed sad.

"Rikku," he inhaled sharply. "Look, I don't give a damn what she says. I came back for _you_. Nothing else,"

"That's nice and all, Black," Andrea said. "But like you said last night, it's _your_ reason. In case you haven't noticed yet _your_ reasons never seemed to matter to anyone. Oh, and I'm just going to go ahead and tell you this now. Being a Guardian means that your duty will _always_ come first."

"To hell with being a Guardian! Fuck this whole damn story of yours! If you ask me you're nothing but a fucking liar!"

"What could I possibly gain by lying?"

"Who knows; why don't you tell me? And while you're at it, why don't you spill everything else you've been holding out on me?"

"Hmph, by the way this is going _you_ wouldn't understand."

Jamie stood up straight and took a couple steps forward. It looked like an attempt of intimidation. Andrea just looked at him with half open eyes, unimpressed.

"Try me."

She didn't answer. By now the tension in the room was so high you couldn't cut it with a battle axe. Everyone else just watched, waiting for something to happen. Of what they weren't exactly sure, but they could feel it coming. Like the cork of a wine bottle about to fly off.

Andrea shrugged, shifting in the chair so she was half turned towards him. She looked up at him and laughed mockingly. Well, she thought; if he wants to know so badly, might as well tell him everything.

"Fine." She relented. "I take it I should start from the beginning?"

Jamison said nothing but glared at her coldly. She took that as a yes. The tension just surged a little bit stronger at that moment.

"I'll answer your question first and say yes; it was my fault that Rikku's brother died. In fact, it was my fault that Rikku was nearly killed too. She was kidnapped and tortured by New Yevon because they were looking for me. And would you believe that _I_ almost killed everyone in this room? And it would've been really easy too. Now that I mention it, the _world_ almost died because of me."

She would've said more but Jamie had heard enough. He grabbed her by the neck and forced up against the side of bookcase. He was so incredibly angry, his hands squeezing tighter around her throat. His face was red and he was baring his teeth like fangs. No one moved, not even Rikku.

"What have you done?" he snarled. Jamie wanted to rip her apart. She hurt Rikku, she had to pay.

Andrea looked back at him calmly, though it was a bit hard to breathe.

"I suggest that you let me go," her voice strained a little.

"Or what? You going to try and kill me too; use your power and _choose_ to kill me?"

Andrea didn't answer. She didn't need words. Actions always spoke louder anyway.

She took both hands and grabbed hold of the skin just above his hips. She squeezed hard and twisted, the pressure point screaming. Jamie shouted and let her go, holding his sides when she released him. He staggered back, slightly hunched over. Andrea struck the back of his head with her heel, sending him to the floor. She then grabbed one arm and bent it back over his head, locking her ankles around his neck and shoulder, sitting on his spine and leaning backwards.

"You going to listen now or do you _want_ me to snap your neck?"

"Stop it!" Rikku screamed. "Let him go!"

"He _has_ to understand, Rikku. This seems to be the only way to get through to him."

"Fine!" he shouted. "Now get off!"

Andrea let him go and stood up, lending him a hand that he didn't take. He and Andrea exchanged fierce glances until he finally turned away and walked back to where he was.

"Maybe I've been approaching this the wrong way," Andrea shrugged. "Let me put it like this: if you don't accept this there's a chance that you'll lose everything. All you know and love could disappear."

For a long while his expression was blank. Then he grimaced hard. That was something he couldn't help but consider to be true. He could feel the horrible truth in her words. He sighed in defeat. There was no way to look around this.

"I know it's hard to believe," Andrea tried to sound reassuring. She was sucking at it immensely. "But you don't have much of a choice."

He stared at the floor. The thought of Losing Rikku again hit home, and it hit hard. He couldn't…_wouldn't_ chance that again. He felt her holding him by the forearm. He looked at her and felt himself shudder on the inside. It seemed she didn't want this to be true just as much as he did. She didn't want to believe it either.

"Jamie," it pulled him out his thoughts. "I need to show you something."

He hesitated, looking at Andrea suspiciously.

"Go on," Rikku said. "I'll wait for you. Tell me about it later."

_(II)_

Andrea led him into the deep underground of Bevelle. It looked familiar to him, but the memory was a bit fuzzy. But then again, all of the halls in this temple looked the same to him. He never much liked the place anyway. The only reason why he'd want to remember it was so he could give the coordinates to the Air Strike.

She opened a door in the solid steel wall and gestured for him to walk inside. He hesitated at first, not exactly trusting her, but she didn't seem to care. He went in anyway, blinking at the change in lighting. It was brighter in the stone constructed room. His eyes immediately fell on the carvings and symbols adorning the farthest wall.

Andrea leaned comfortable against the doorway frame and watched him. She was curious as to what he was going to do. She noticed his interest and had a good feeling. She was quiet for a while, saying nothing until she saw him touching one of the seals on the wall.

"This place is called the Guardian's Chamber; also there's another temple on top of Gagazet, both of them are about as old as this planet. Those four symbols represent the Guardians." She craned her neck to see where his hand was. "You have a tattoo like that, don't you?"

Jamison paused. How did she know? He'd never shown anyone since he'd gotten here. Well, Rikku could've seen it when they were…yeah. But there was no way _Andrea_ could know about it.

"You think it's a coincidence that you got that mark?" When he didn't answer she pulled her shirt over her head. He stared with a red face. He's a guy, remember? Anyway, Andrea pointed to the light colored scar on her chest.

"This is my mark," and he looked to the wall to find the same sign there. It was the symbol for Infinity. "And you have yours. Also, have you ever noticed that during every major turning point in your life that the moon has been in one of its main phases?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw a lot when you touched me, Black." She replied, putting her shirt back on.

He didn't answer. He was starting to get just a bit freaked out.

"I saw your past," she said. "When you were born, when you came to Spira," Andrea paused. "When Stephanie died,"

He flinched, but still remained silent. He didn't feel the need to say anything. Andrea went quiet, looking at the symbols on the wall with a mildly pained expression.

"I guess you know everything then, don't you?" he said with cold sarcasm.

"Actually I don't. In reality I don't know a God damned thing. I don't know what all of this is for…what's going to happen…even if I can stop it. I don't know if all of us are going to see a next time. I just don't know…_anything_."

Jamison looked long at the moon symbol on the wall. Finally he dropped his head and sighed, shaking his head unconsciously.

"Why us?" he asked aloud. "Don't we do enough?"

"Because we're the only ones who can. That's why we do what we do, to prepare us for this sort of thing."

"This is so fucked up. All I want is just to be left alone."

"With Rikku?"

Jamie only nodded.

"I know how you feel. It's hard to accept the fact that we have to put our own lives on hold so we can save everyone else. We didn't ask for it, we don't have to like it. You get used to it after a while."

"Well I don't want to _get used to it_," he grumbled. "I know I don't have a fucking choice."

"Even if you did, would you turn it down?"

"No," he shrugged. "The thought of having Rikku taken from me again wouldn't allow me to, though I'll be damned."

Andrea laughed. "We already are."

"I guess you're right." He laughed a little himself. "So what can you tell me about this Guardian I'm stuck with?"

"Not much I'm afraid." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall again.

"Well, what did you see in your vision?"

"I saw the moon a _lot_; so I'm guessing that's the base of its power. I think that's why we haven't been seeing eye to eye so well."

"Why?"

"We're opposites in every sense of the word. I mean just take your pick: man and woman, night and day, moon and sun, the list goes on."

"Whoa…never thought about that. Anyway, what else?"

"The Guardian is a three headed dog…think I'll just call him Cerberus to make it easier; but he's been in a lot of my visions recently. That's the only thing it could be."

"But what about when I saw the mist; it only seemed to have two heads."

"I've been wondering the same thing. I think I saw flashes of the Guardian's life as well as yours. It's only in bits and pieces, but I think there was a battle before the Guardians went into hiding. I'm not sure yet."

"Hiding?"

"It's a _very_ confusing story; I still haven't figured it all out yet. Perhaps when the other two show up I'll be able to put it together and get an answer or two."

Jamie nodded, still a bit confused at all of this. His head started to hurt. This was all too much at once.

"Anyway, I hate to cut this short but I'm exhausted. If you have anymore questions ask Dennis or Rikku." She started walking out. "Oh, and by the way, for your own sake just tell her the truth."

Jamie turned around and asked her what she meant.

"Rikku's going to ask about that tattoo and you know it. I'm sure if you explain to her why you killed them she'll understand." She heard the scraping of metal behind her, hearing a high pitched hum next to her. She turned around, seeing Jamison holding Masamune's point in her direction, looking extremely serious. She didn't seem worried.

"You look surprised that I know. I told you that I saw _everything_; the moon was a crescent that night wasn't it? And I probably would've wanted to kill Twitchy too if he turned out to be Bahamut. That was a nice Cadillac, don't you think?"

He was beginning to hate it when she did that. It was like she was mocking him, spitting in his face.

"You say a word of this to anyone, you'll regret it." He growled. "It's my business."

"Put that away," she pushed the tip of the blade aside. "I hadn't intended to. I was giving you some advice. I care about Rikku just like you do; I hate to see her hurt."

He withdrew the sword. "Let _me_ worry about Rikku."

"Yeah, I suppose I should." There was that all-knowing tone again. And then she left.

_(II)_

As Jamie followed Andrea back to the surface, he began to think about what he heard in that chamber. He didn't want to, seeing as how he still had a splitting headache, but he did anyways. '_What in the bloody hell is going on? Why am I one of these Guardians? Why me? Why is it always me that gets picked for this shit_?' When he got back to the surface, he didn't stop back at the library. Rikku tried to follow him, but Andrea said that he needed time to think.

Jamie kept walking until he got to where he and Andrea spoke…that morning? Wasn't that long ago, was it? He sat down next to one of the small streams that ran next to the Highbridge.

There were a half-a-million thoughts going through his head at that moment, and it felt like only a third of them were his. Being in that chamber gave him a freaky sense of déjà vu. That feeling, you can only say what it is in French. Why did he get the feeling that he had been there before? Was Andrea right? Was he being possessed by a Guardian that had been in that chamber before? Was he just accessing memories that weren't his own? It all seemed so farfetched. How could that mist have been a Guardian? And what happened to the center head? Why is any of this happening?

"What the hell is going on?" Jamie asked himself, burying his face in his hands.

**"Wouldn't you like to know?"** he heard a rough voice say.

Jamie snapped to full attention when he heard the voice. It sounded close and eerily familiar…

"Who said that? Who's there?" Jamie turned around, but no one was there. He was alone.

**"If I knew I was gonna play a round of Twenty Questions with you, I woulda just kept my trap shut."**

"Where are you?" He was starting to get freaked out. What were the chances that Andrea was a ventriloquist, and she just wanted to fuck around with him some more? He stood up and looked around again. No one, and the voice sounded closer than before.

**"Okay…so we've got Who, Where, and What…how about Jamison Black, in the Ballroom, with the Rope."**

"What the hell are you talking about?"

**"No…not the Rope…doesn't seem your style…the Wrench? The Candlestick maybe?"**

"Just answer me, dammit! Where the hell are you?"

"**Alright, alright; don't get your Comfort Waistband Hanes in a knot. I'll show you where I am. Move over to the stream."** Jamie did as he was told, paranoia setting in. His hand was within five inches of Tetsusaiga at all times.

**"Now, kneel down next to it…"** Jamie complied, still looking around. **"Look in."**

What? He's in the water? Jamie kept looking around, but snatched a quick glance into the water. Nothing there but his reflection…double take! Jamie looked harder into the stream this time and saw that his reflection was smiling at him. But he, Jamie, wasn't smiling. Then, it started waving at him. Jamie looked at his hand and found that it was up, away from Tetsusaiga. He jumped back from the stream and started backing away.

"What the hell was that?"

**"You wanted to see me, didn't ya? There I was. Right there. Hey,"** the voice said from Jamie's mouth, **"next time you wanna meet, find a mirror or something. Can't get good reception in those streams, you know."**

"What the hell are you?"

**"You haven't figured it out yet? And here I thought you were a smart one. Take a wild guess, buddy."**

Jamie thought for a while, but kept coming to a blank. Why would there be someone else in his head? He had seen movies like this, and knew that multiple personalities led to dead people. Secret Window…Fallen…Me, Myself, and Irene…okay, that last one might not have been the same, but Jim Carrey still had multiple personalities in it. And damned if it wasn't a good movie.

Then he had it. The only way he could have someone else in his head. It had to be the voice of the Guardian. It was talking to him. And scaring the living shit out of him at the same time.

**"Sorry, buddy, not quite,"** the voice said.

_'Can this thing read my mind?' _

**"Yes I can, but that's not the point. You only got about half of it right. Or some obscure fraction I can't figure in my head right now. Listen, when the spirit of the Cerberus first jumped you, how many heads did it have?"**

"Two."

**"Well I'm one of them. Noct, Left Head of the Cerberus, embodiment of the New Moon, at your service. Well…not really at your service…but you get the idea."**

"What? Then, am I the center head? And shouldn't there be another voice in my head?"

**"Yes and yes, but I'm actually saving you from being bored out of your mind. Jeeves does that to people."**

"I beg your pardon," another voice came from Jamie's mouth, this time with a bit of a British accent. "It's not my fault that you don't have the urge to expand your mind beyond what you currently know…if anything…" This last part was spoken in a whisper.

**"I heard that Jeeves."**

"Bully for you, then. And stop calling me Jeeves. That's not my name. It's…"

"Shut _up_!" Jamie shouted at nothing. "Just _shut up_!" Then he started running.

_(III)_

He ran back up the Highbridge with his hands over his ears. What was going on? Is he losing his mind? Maybe Andrea had some kind of mind control power. That's it. He'd get back to the library and she'd be laughing her ass off. Ha-ha; really funny.

...Bitch…

Jamie burst into the library, out of breath, and saw Andrea look at him over a stack of books. He stared at her for a few seconds, but all she did was return to reading.

Jamie was getting freaked out at this point. Voices in his head, Guardians, three…uh…two headed monsters eating him… What the hell? Huh…more déjà vu…

"You okay, Jamie?" It was Rikku. She had moved over to him and put her hand on his arm. "You were gone for a while. Are you all right?"

"I don't know, Rikku. I just don't know." He was about to turn away from her, but she pulled him back.

"I don't care if you're a Guardian now. As long as you're here, I'm happy." She looked into his eyes and smiled. Jamie couldn't help but smile back. She may be cute when she's mad, but she's cuter when she's smiling. Better add 'Sap' to the grocery list…

Their faces got closer together and eventually, their lips contacted. His life may be changing on him, but her kiss is still just as sweet.

"Hey," Gippal said as he burst into the library. "Baralai filled me in and I got here as soon as I…" He stopped talking the minute he saw Rikku in Jamie's arms. They pulled apart when they realized that Gippal was staring at them. Jamie locked eyes…eye with the Cyclops Al Bhed, and shot him a death glare, which Gippal returned…as well as he could seeing as how he was outnumbered two to one.

"What the hell are you doing with my girl?"

Authors' Notes: FDB- Not good! This is a recipe for disaster, no matter how you look at it. One part inter-dimensional romance, two parts schizophrenia, and just a pinch of jealousy. Cram in a blender and hold 'Liquefy' until shit happens.

SDB-Recipe yeah, no kidding. I don't like blenders, they frighten me. And what's with all this "My Girl" crap coming from Gippal's pie hole? Find out next chapter.


	8. Throne for the Idol

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Eight  
Throne for the Idol**

"What the hell are you doing with my girl?" Gippal shouted.

Everyone looked up, the tension resurfacing in the room again. Jamie's eyebrows furrowed and he grimaced.

"Your girl?" he asked mockingly. "Sorry pal, but I don't see your name on her." And Jamie would know if she did…really, he would.

"Gippal, knock it off!" Rikku snapped at him. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred-billion times; its-not-going-to-work! Now get out before I throw you out!"

"I suggest you listen to her, Gippal," Andrea warned him, sounding as if she could care less. She wasn't even looking up from the book she was still reading.

"You stay out of this!" he spat. She didn't answer, but only shook her head. Well, she warned him.

"Look, Gimpy," Jamie said, not giving two blue fucks if that was his real name or not. "Having still one eye, I'm sure you can see that it's obvious she doesn't want to be with you. Why don't you just let it go and do something constructive with your life, like eye patch design?"

Gippal narrowed his eye at Jamie, his face turning slightly red. Boy was he pissed. He then looked at Rikku who showed nothing but determination and defiance, along with a well hidden itch to punch him in the nose. The one eyed Al Bhed gave Jamison one last death glare and took a half step forward so he was up in the New Yorker's face.

"You going to regret this,"

"Promise?" Jamie wasn't scared, he even feigned a grin.

"Count on it." And Gippal stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"Hmph…fuckin tease," Jamie scoffed, and turned away from the door to find somewhere to sit.

"Is it just me or has Gippal always been like that?" Andrea sighed.

"Afraid so," Paine answered. "Immature schmuck,"

"That's just as well," she added. "I never much liked him anyway. He was always too damn pushy. And I think it's safe to say he doesn't like you all that much, Black."

"And I'm supposed to care?"

"Just thought you'd like some verification,"

"Next time I'll ask," he said. "So have we figured out anything aside from the fact that Gimpy hates me?"

"Not yet," everyone said it at once.

It was quiet for a long while after that. The only sounds were shrugs of disappointment and frustration along with the feverish turning of old pages. If any of them had allergies they would be going haywire right about now, the air being filled with dust. This went on for several hours, long after sunset. Someone's stomach growling was the signal to finally stop for the day.

Andrea growled in annoyance. "I swear that it's right under my nose!"

"It's okay," Dennis said. "It'll still be there once you've had some rest. C'mon."

He almost had to drag her out of the library; not because she resisted, but she could hardly walk. She was drawn out to her last strand by now. Everyone eventually left after that.

Jamie was on his way out when he felt Rikku latch onto his sleeve. Her expression was awfully bubbly for someone who had Gimpy stalking their every move. At least it seemed that way.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

That was one of the biggest surprises he'd had all day.

"Um…s-sure." He stuttered a bit. "I'd love to."

They left Bevelle altogether, stepping into the Calm Lands' boundaries. The weather was pretty tolerable so it wasn't all that bad. In fact it wasn't far from perfect. Rikku held Jamie's hand as they walked, not really going anywhere particular, just enjoying one another's company. It felt good to get out of there; Jamie had been feeling cooped up. He never felt good things about that place anyway. Don't get me wrong, Bevelle appeared to be safer than before, but it still gave off kooky vibes.

They spent the afternoon together, just walking about the open space of the field. As the sun was setting they rested, watching it from the edge of the great cliff, their legs swung over the side. Rikku leaned against and Jamie put his arm around her, pulling her close. He'd never noticed it before, but Spiran sunsets were much prettier than those of Earth. Maybe he realized now because he had the chance, knowing Sin wasn't going to come along and fuck with it.

"Remember when we were here last?" Rikku asked suddenly.

Jamie thought back a moment and then nodded. "As if I could forget,"

"You better not," she warned playfully.

"Or what?" he was calling her bluff; all in good fun of course.

"I'll toss you into that gorge over there," she was trying to sound threatening.

"Hmmm cliff diving…sounds kinky,"

"Brat," and she smacked him on the chest.

He laughed a little and kissed her on the head, hugging her.

"You know," he said. "Compared to now, those days were so much simpler. At least we knew what we were up against."

"Maybe," she replied with slight uncertainty. "But I wouldn't have Sin back for the world. We cut it too close last time."

"Last time?" Hmmm, I sense a storytelling.

"Before you came back," she began. "Sin was almost resurrected."

Jamie couldn't stop himself from shuddering at her words. Could it have been possible?

"Rikku…I think it's time you told me what's been going on." He said. "Tell me everything."

She did. It was a long, drawn out explanation; it was after dark before she finished. Rikku didn't spare Jamie of many details. However she conveniently left out how Gippal stayed at her bedside all night after being rescued from the Bevelle underground. Rikku told him about the Black Phoenix, the trouble it caused; Vae and the rebellion. Hey, he wanted to know everything, so she told him everything.

Jamie didn't interrupt or ask any questions. He only listened.

(II)

It was the middle of the night. It had to be because it was still dark outside. Andrea sat up, wide awake. Dennis was fast asleep, her movement not having disturbed him. With a yawn she scratched her head and wiped the sleep from her eyes as she carefully got out of bed. She dressed herself and left the room, quietly closing the door behind her. She walked hurriedly down the hall, hoping she wouldn't forget the new vision before she got back to the library.

She blinked a few times when she turned the lights on. They were god awfully bright. When her vision cleared she looked around, trying to place herself as if she were living the vision. She stood between either row of a dozen book cases and concentrated back to a few minutes ago.

"Yes…this is where I was. Where did I go? Was it third down the row or fourth? Wait, it was the fifth."

She allowed the dream to play back as she walked forward, mimicking her ethereal steps to the letter. Andrea stood in front of the broadside of the bookcase and looked up. It was perhaps twenty feet to the top of it. Andrea could easily jump that high, she just didn't feel like it. It was the middle of the fucking night, people; give her a break, would you?

Instead she went to shelves themselves and started climbing, cursing herself wildly for following this fucked up hunch. She reached the top and sat for moment, looking up at the ceiling. It was covered in square steel panels. She stood up straight and was able to touch one if she stretched her arm far enough. She pushed on it…probably welded she thought. Oh well, no big deal. The top of the bookcase was narrow, but it was possible. With a well controlled jump she forced her heel through the panel. With a loud crash it felt through and crashed to the floor. She didn't care if anyone woke up.

A cloud of dust fluttered down from the opening. She sneezed once, coughed twice, and then ignored it altogether. She reached up and gripped the edges of the opening, pulling herself through it and sat with her legs still hanging into the room below. It was dark and the air smelled stale. If she had allergies she'd be in hell. Andrea took a moment to catch her breath again, referring back to the vision a second time.

"That thing's around here somewhere…is that it? Nope, just a…dead rat." She cringed, but kept looking elsewhere before the sight made her throw up. She felt clods of dust beneath her hands as she searched in the pitch black for that thing she'd seen in her vision. It felt like a half an hour went by before she found anything but a dead thing. And believe me, there were plenty of those.

She felt a thick, square object and picked it up. It was quite heavy and she could feel cold bits of metal on the corners. She tucked it under her arm and found her way back to drop down into the library. This was where the vision stopped, so from here on out it would be by the seat of her pants. She sat on the top of the bookshelf and blew the dust from the cover of the obviously ancient book. It was as thick as her upper arm and held together by three solid steel rings. The cover was made from a thick type of leather. She had to pry away a metal clasp holding the pages together. She opened it to the first page.

"…fuck!" She groaned. It was written in another language. She couldn't read a damn word it. Still, she continued looking through it, hoping to find something, even if it was a stick figure drawing, that she could understand.

Dennis woke up to find himself alone. It was long after dawn now and Andrea's side of the bed was vacant. Immediately he figured she must've gotten some sort of epiphany during the night and went back to the archive. He quickly made himself decent and left the room, not seeming to care that his stomach was growling. He could eat later.

He reached the library and opened the door, finding Andrea coming out and grabbing him by the wrist as she passed. All he could do was follow, unable to form a conscious protest from the surprise. They passed Jamie and Rikku in the hall, and all they could do was stare. Dennis made a confused look as he gestured for them to follow. They followed Andrea down into the Bevelle underground and into the infinite tunnels there.

"What the hell are we doing down here?" Jamie asked. Could it be that she's finally lost her mind? As if she had any to lose in the first place.

"I'll explain in a minute." Andrea said, not looking at him but her nose buried in the book she'd found.

They journeyed downward into the deepest floors, the very end of the Via Infinito. Rikku had the shakes already. She hated it down here, and she clutched tightly to Jamie's hand.

Andrea threw the book into Dennis' open arms, telling him to hold it open for her. She appeared to be looking at a map of some kind on the page. The key was in the strange language so he couldn't be sure. He only watched as Andrea looked over the steel panels of the far side wall.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"One sec," she put her ear against the panel and tapped it once or twice with her knuckles. "This wall's hollow."

"So?"

"So, that means something is behind it."

"And how do you plan to get past it?" Jamie asked mockingly. "You'd need a pound of C4 to clear that."

Andrea smiled at him and shook her head. He didn't know her too well obviously. She took about twenty steps away from the wall and then charged it. Jamie thought about laughing, thinking she was going to use that thick head of hers to break it down. He figured it wouldn't hurt her much; actually he was more concerned about the wall if that were the case. Instead she thrust her fists out at the final step and caved the steel wall in, leaving a dark and empty space. Jamison's eyes got a little big. Okay, so he was surprised. What, you a freakin prize or something? Get out of here, Kid, you bother me!

"Apparently Bevelle hasn't always been a temple. They just built it on top of the original which can mean one of two things. One; they're a bunch of tight waded bastards, or they wanted to cover something up. My answer would be door number two."

"For once I'm willing to agree with you," Jamie said.

The four of them went into the new opening, finding pitch dark nothingness to greet them beyond the threshold.

"How do you understand this, Andrea?" Dennis asked, squinting through his glasses. "I can't read a word of it."

"Neither can I. Just call me crazy and I'll get back to you once I figure it out myself." Strange, something about this room felt familiar.

The four of them advanced several steps, and with a sudden loud bang, lights came on from the ceiling, illuminating the dark space and tearing away the veil that hid it. Once her vision adjusted Andrea could place herself. It was that same, long forgotten hall she'd seen in a prior vision. The throne she recalled was there at the end of the room. It was covered in dust and other age induced flaws, but it was still there. Unlike in her premonition there were tapestries and banners hanging from the walls, still intact for the most part. The one most prominent was on the wall behind the throne, alone in adorning the wall. It depicted a sword sheathed in a stone, and the seals of the four Guardians placed on the north, south, east, and west ends.

Dennis came to stand beside Andrea.

"What do you make of it?"

"Well," she sighed as she thought. "I believe it's safe to say that there was a world power long before Yevon on this planet. My guess is a monarchy. The palace must've been here. This is what they were trying to cover up."

"Why would they?"

"Why else? They didn't want a tangible challenge to their power; simple as that."

"What do you think caused it to collapse?" Jamie was curious like everyone.

"Sin," she said firmly. "How else?"

"Do you think this plays any part in what's going on?" Dennis asked her.

"The Guardian's marks are all over the place in here," she gestured to all of the tapestries. "I think it does. Perhaps now since Sin is gone and Yevon has lost most of its power on the people…I don't know."

"What difference does it make?" Jamie asked. "I mean, who cares who's in power, right? Things seem to be working fine the way they are."

"But it's not the natural order of things," Andrea replied. "Sin wasn't natural so neither is Yevon. That's why the Guardians are coming back; to restore the balance of things. Perhaps one of our goals in this is to return the ruler to the throne…or one of their descendants at least." She then put a hand to her forehead. "I'm getting a headache."

Dennis watched as her face suddenly went pale and she teetered slightly on her feet.

"Are you okay?" he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't know," she said. "Waking vision…maybe," she groaned and leaned forward slightly.

Dennis grabbed her by the upper arms and held her up. She continued to hold her head, waiting for the splitting pain to go away. It was like someone was slowly cleaving her skull open, prying it apart with white hot, iron knives.

She couldn't tell if she was seeing past or future, or anything at all that meant anything. Through her mind's eye she saw her first glimpse of Sin in all of his terrifying glory. It had to have been the past then, but the world looked so different. It must've been the very distant past. Perhaps even the beginning of Sin.

The Guardians appeared in her vision, all four of them. They attacked Sin. Her focus was on Cerberus for some reason. There was this incredible flash of light and a deafening sonic boom. At the next glance she saw the Cerberus was missing his center head, blown completely from its body. The Guardians seemed to be getting their Divine asses handed to them. Then the Seraphim appeared, a great sword in her hand. She struck Sin down, but the blow failed to kill it. Andrea saw the Guardians retreat to the Farplane, the Phoenix taking them into her protection. Before that the Seraphim hid the sword, thrusting it into a great stone. The vision failed to show her where the stone was.

The vision changed time and place at that moment. It felt like an ice cold bolt from a crossbow was shot through her temples. This half of the vision seemed to play itself in fast forward, going by in only a matter of seconds where the one before it seemed to take hours. When it ended the pain faded into a dull throbbing. She fell back into Dennis' arms. He waited until most of her composure had returned before asking what she'd seen.

She explained as best as she could, considering she felt like a borderline concussion and whiplash victim. First of all she told Jamie everything she'd seen of Cerberus, finally revealing to him why the head was missing. Sin was just the bearer of all things not nice, wasn't he? Then the rest of the vision spilled out in staggering sentences and half baked comments. Her consciousness was slowly deteriorating, leaving her barely able to speak sensibly.

"The sword…cut Sin…in the stone," she stammered. "Dammit,"

"I'm taking her back to bed." Dennis wouldn't allow this to continue. He picked her up and carried her out; Rikku and Jamie following him. When they got to the surface the White Mage disappeared down the hallway and that was the last they saw of him for the rest of the day.

"Are her visions always like this?" Jamie asked.

"She's never had a vision awake before. Maybe the Phoenix waits for her to sleep for a reason."

He could only speculate along with her.

Dennis laid her down on the bed, hoping unconsciously that she would actually stay in it this time. Andrea kept her eyes open and looked at him. She hated to worry him.

"I'm okay," she had to consciously try to speak.

"You need some sleep; you've been running yourself ragged."

"Dennis," she grabbed him by the wrist, getting his attention. He read her expression for a second.

"You saw something else, didn't you? What was it?"

"Us." She replied. "Getting Married."

He looked surprised. "Do you know when?"

"Before…the next new moon."

"That's," he thought a moment. "Barely two weeks from now. Are you sure?"

She nodded. "You kidding? It's the best vision I've had yet. I think we should follow it."

Dennis shrugged after a moderate silence and leaned forward, putting his head lightly on her chest.

"Is it what you want?"

"Yes," she was on the verge of falling asleep.

"I'll tell the others tomorrow," he said, watching as Andrea nodded one last time before her eyes closed.

_(III)_

"I hope Andrea will be okay," Rikku said as she walked with Jamie along the Highbridge. "She's been working herself too hard."

"She'll be fine," Jamie remarked. "It's not like she can work herself to death."

"Good point, smartass."

"Yeah." Jamie looked up at the rising sun. "We may not see eye to eye, but I trust what she says. She seems to be the only one who knows what the hell is going on around here."

"No kidding. I think she even knew you'd come back."

"Really? So she's been right on the money so far, right?" When Rikku nodded, he turned away from her and said, "So Sin really did destroy the center head of the Cerberus. That would explain why the thing that attacked me on the Highroad only had two heads..."

'**_And finally he figures it out! Bravo, kid!'_**

Jamie jumped slightly when he heard Noct's voice in his head. '_Bloody hell.'_

"What's wrong?" Rikku asked.

"I…I don't know. I…"

'_Tell her, Jamison. She deserves to know.'_

'**_Cram it, Jeeves. He'll tell his girlfriend when he's good and ready.'_**

'_And I believe he is, "good and ready" as you say, right now.'_

'**_And who are you to determine that?'_**

What's going on, Jamie?" Rikku asked again.

'_Shut up! Both of you! Rikku thinks I'm going nuts.'_

'_**Aren't ya?'**_

Jamie was about to run his whole profane vocabulary past Noct when he heard a bullet whiz past his head. He ducked and immediately put his arms over Rikku. He heard a familiar voice let out a string of profanities, then another bullet whizzed past his head. Jamie moved towards the voice and found that it was Gimpy firing at him.

"Told you you'd regret moving in on my girl," the Cyclops said as he leveled his gun, aiming right between Black's eyes.

"She's not your girl, One-eye," Jamie said as he unsheathed Tetsusaiga. Gippal's eyes widened, but he still fired his gun again. And again. And…you get the picture. Or you should.

The bullets merely bounced off of Tetsusaiga's blade. Gippal must have seen that he was clearly unmatched, so he took off running. Jamie pursued, leaving Rikku behind shouting his name. '_This fucker is seriously asking for it.'_

'_**That's it,' Noct mocked. 'Give in to your hate! Give in to the Dark Side!'**_

'_Oh, please spare us. Your theatrical skills are deplorable.'_

'_**Deplo-what?'**_

'_Could both of you please shut up until I kill this guy?'_

'_You know, Jamison, violence isn't the…'_

'**_Go get'em, tiger!' _**From there on out, Noct and…'Jeeves' were silent.

Jamie chased Gippal all the way through Macalania Woods and into the Thunder Plains. What Jamie didn't see was Gippal reloading as he ran. Gippal ducked behind a lightning tower, the coward, and Jamie was prepared to Wind Scar it to hell. Neither of them seemed to notice that for some reason, the storm was worse than usual, and it was dark for the time of day. Jamie raised Tetsusaiga, rain stinging his eyes slightly, ready to let loose on the coward bastard hiding behind that tower. Right before the Wind Scar was unleashed, Gippal jumped out from behind the tower and unloaded his gun into Jamie's chest.

Jamie's expression turned from one of pure hatred to one of staggering surprise. He fell over, landing in the mud, Tetsusaiga changing back to its portable form. Gippal walked over and made sure that the cocksucker moving in on Rikku was dead. Six bullets in the chest were enough to kill anyone. Glancing over to the sword, he decided that the piece of shit wasn't worth his time. He started walking back to Bevelle but stopped when he heard a wicked cackle behind him.

He turned around and saw that Black's corpse was laughing like a lunatic. What the hell? Surely filling someone with so much led they could have a hobby as a human pencil wouldn't leave them in the mood to laugh. And just as fluidly as it fell, Black's body stood up on its own, seemingly lifted up by some unseen force. As he shuffled towards Gippal, all six bullets fell out of his chest, the only evidence of they left behind being the holes in his shirt.

"**Where're you goin'?" **Jamie asked in a rough voice. "**We're not through dancin', buddy."**

"How the hell are you still alive, Black?" Gippal started backing away from the animated corpse, but it kept shuffling closer and closer. There was a flash of amber light, and the huge sword was back in Black's hands.

"**Sorry, Black's out at the moment. Leave a message and I'll make sure he visits you in the Farplane."**

When Gippal was within reach, Noct grabbed him by the collar and slammed his own head into the Al Bhed's. He fell like a rock and looked up at the Unsent in front of him. That's all he could be: an Unsent. That's the only way being shot wouldn't kill him. Noct stepped forward and glared at the Al Bhed at his feet. He could feel Black's hatred for this guy. Good. Hate is good. Hatred for guys like this who would choose to end happiness.

"**Oh, yeah. Black says to stay away from his girl. He's already…'laid' claim to her, if you know what I mean."**

"You mean…you…he…they…"

"**Pretty much. Three times already. You missed the train, bucko. Oh, and one more thing," **Noct said as he raised Tetsusaiga over his head. Lightning struck behind him and, in that instant, Gippal could have sworn he saw, not a man, but a huge dog…or a wolf in front of him, fangs barred, snarling. **"Jamie says 'go to hell.'"** And Noct let Tetsusaiga drop.

Authors' Note: FDB- And don't we all wish Gippal would just go to hell. At least that's my thinking on the subject.

SDB-Yes, Gippal in hell, that's sounds like a plan. Anything is bound to happen in the next chapter, so just keep your asses in the chair and…whatever else it is you guys do when you read this mental discharge of ours.


	9. Coin Flip Eclipse

The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Nine  
Coin Flip Eclipse

Rikku was left standing on the Highbridge when Jamie went off to chase Gippal. She wished that neither of them would be seriously hurt, though she wouldn't mind if Jamie roughed up Gippal a little bit. She decided to go back to Dennis to see if Andrea was feeling better. She couldn't shake the feeling that Jamie was in trouble. She felt helpless, not being able to help.

After deciding that Andrea probably just needed rest, Rikku went onboard the Pickle and started…doing something to take her mind off of Jamie. While fiddling around with a yo-yo, she heard a loud crash of thunder and shuddered slightly.

'_Did that come from the Thunder Plains?'_

Normally, you couldn't hear thunder this far from the Plains. She decided that it was probably because Macalania was disappearing, and went back to figuring out 'Walk the Moomba'. She could get it to roll across the deck, but she couldn't get it back to her hand.

"Pooh…pickle…rat farts…crud…oh, eggplant…" she cursed. What do you expect? She's Rikku, after all.

She finally got it right, and had done it about three times when her Commsphere rang. She thought it was probably Dennis updating her on Andrea's condition. Rikku switched it on and was surprised to find Gippal with an ice pack to his forehead.

"What happened to you?" she asked, fighting the urge to smile. Maybe Jamie did that.

"Tell you later, Cid's girl. Round up Baralai and the others. I think they need to hear this."

"Should I contact Yunie?"

"Why not," he shrugged. "I think she may need to hear this, too."

Rikku nodded and stuffed the Commsphere into her pocket. She ran all the way to the library and told Baralai to hook up another Commsphere and contact Yunie. Then she went to Andrea's room and found Dennis sitting outside.

"Hi, Dennis; how's she doing?"

"She's still tired. What is it?"

"Gippal told me to get everyone together. I think it's important."

"She still needs to sleep. I'll go with you, but I don't think we should bother…" At that moment the door slid open and Andrea was standing there, looking just fine.

"Gippal on the Commsphere?" she asked.

Rikku looked at her funny. "How'd you…"

"Vision," Andrea said simply. "It's going to be important."

They all gathered into the conference chamber where New Yevon held important meetings and had a seat. Baralai already had Yuna and Tidus waiting, and was waiting for Rikku to hook up her Commsphere. She did, and Gippal's face appeared on the screen next to Yuna. He still had the ice pack on his head but took it down to wipe some water from his face. There was a large bump on his head. It looked like he'd been hit over the head with a lead pipe.

"What happened?" Andrea asked. She was honestly doing her best not to fall over laughing.

"I'll tell you what happened," Gippal said, slightly pissed. "Rikku's boyfriend happened. He just head-butted me."

"You big girl," Paine scoffed.

"When did that happen?" Dennis wanted to know.

"Gippal threatened him," Rikku answered. "He shot at us and Jamie chased him. That's all I know."

"So you got your ass handed to you," Andrea said to Gippal, uninterested. "What's so special or new about that?"

"He tried to kill me."

"I would too, if you shot at me."

"No, it's…I don't really know how to say this. I think he's crazy…psycho, even."

"He's not crazy!" Rikku shouted, standing up. "He's not crazy!"

"He might not be," Gippal said. "But the other guy in his head might be."

"What do you mean by that?" Yuna asked.

"What happened was…I shot him. I unloaded six bullets into his chest, and…"

"You killed him?" Rikku said and shooting death glares at the Cyclops.

"No…I don't think I did. He was still moving after I shot him. He was laughing and…he stood up. Is he Unsent?"

"He's very much alive," Andrea shurgged, shaking her head. "What did you mean when you said, 'he was still moving'?"

"Just that. I unloaded my gun into him, and he was still moving. But it was like Jamie was gone and he had been replaced with someone else. He…he spoke in a rough voice, and said himself that Jamie wasn't there. But the weird part was, for a split second, I thought I was looking at a rabid dog, or something.

"He tried to kill me after that. He was gonna slam a huge fucking sword into my skull, but he missed and then he…started arguing with himself."

_(II)_

Tetsusaiga landed right next to Gippal's head. **_'What the bloody hell?' _**Noct felt something inside him fighting for control. It wasn't Jamie; he _wanted_ this fucker to die. It was…

"I won't let you take this man's life!" Gippal heard the strangest accent come out of Black's mouth.

"**What do you think you're doin', Jeevesy?" **And now he was back to the rough voice.

"Stopping you!"

"**How chivalrous of you. But it's too close to the New Moon for you to be bossing me around. I have control, you don't."**

"I know that, and I don't care. It doesn't surprise me that you still crave bloodshed after 1000 years. The real surprise is that you even know what 'chivalry' means."

"**You gotta cut me more slack than that, Jeeves. I have a better vocabulary than you think." **In the time Noct and Jeeves were arguing, Gippal had started to run away.

"**Oh, come _on!_ You let him get away, Jeeves!"**

"And that's a bad thing?"

"**I hate you, you pompous butler."**

"Oh, goody! You learned another word: pompous! You get a gold star!"

"**Fuck you…"**

_(III)_

"And that's all I know," Gippal finished.

Everyone was silent, especially Rikku. '_Maybe that's what he was worried about on the Highbridge. He heard those voices in his head._'

"I think I have it figured out," Andrea said, breaking the silence. "Jamie said that when that mist attacked him on the Highroad, it only had two heads. Sin destroyed the middle head, so maybe Jamie is its replacement. The two voices Gippal heard were the other two heads. I think they may have minds and emotions of their own."

"So the Guardian is controlling him?" Paine asked.

"Not exactly," Andrea replied. "Gippal said one of them mentioned the New Moon. I think the moon determines which head has the most control. Obviously, the one with the rough voice is connected to the New Moon. And the one with the weird accent, Jeeves," she made air quotations, "sounds like a goody-goody. That one's the Full Moon, I think. The polar opposite of Rough Voice."

"But what does that mean, exactly?" Dennis asked.

"It means that one head is shadow and the other is light. New Moon and Full Moon, blah-blah-blah, and so on so forth. Two sides to the same coin in other words. But this coin has a third side: Jamie. He's stuck right in the middle: the Quarter Moon. Balanced between light and darkness. Chaos.

"What's creating this instability is the fact that some kind of balance was broken when Sin destroyed the center head. I think if we want Jamie back to normal, we have to restore that balance."

"How are we going to do that?" Baralai asked.

"I honestly don't know," Andrea muttered. "We may have to capture him and do that trick Yuna used on me."

"If what you said is true, Andrea," Yuna said, "we may be dealing with multiple minds here. I'm not sure I can perform the spell on that level of difficulty."

"We've still gotta try."

_(IV)_

Watching Gippal run off, Noct felt the urge to follow him. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"**Actually, yes!"**

"Even though there is a possibility that there are more people with guns where he is going?"

"**I can take it."**

Jeeves sighed in his mind and said, "You do realize you can easily kill him later, without me interfering, right?" While Noct was considering this, Jeeves continued. "Right now, I believe we owe Jamison an explanation as to what is happening in his mind."

"**Alright. You win. As long as I get to kill him later."**

They…he…whatever, walked back to Macalania and sat down in a clearing. By that time, Jamie's consciousness was coming back. When he was shot, his awareness-his mind-receded back into his body, leaving Noct to take over. But as he came back, he looked around and saw his reflection in the trees next to him. One face had deep circles under his eyes, and the other looked more like a philosopher.

"I take it you're Jeeves," Jamie said to the philosopher.

"Actually, Jeeves is not my name. I am Dias, Right Head of the Cerberus, embodiment of the Full Moon. The Yang to Noct's Yin."

"**Cut the philosophy crap, Confucius," **Noct said. He was the face with the baggy eyes. **"Now are _you_ gonna tell him what's goin on in his head, or am I?"**

"I'd like to see you try."

"**Alright, then." **Jamie saw his hand reach out to the ground in front of him. It drew three circles in the ground and cut the middle one in half. It scrawled out under them, from left to right, the letters 'N', 'Q', and 'F'.

"**That's me, basically," **Noct said, pointing Jamie's hand at what he could only guess was the 'New Moon'. **"The closer the moon is to that phase, the more control I have. Now, when the moon swings back towards the waxing Quarter,"** he continued, moving his finger to the middle circle, **"you're king of the hill. Me and Jeeves…"**

"Dias."

"**Whatever. On the Quarter Moon, me and…_Dias_ have equal power. We cancel each other out and you have control. On towards the Full Moon, Dias has control, and I have jack. But on the nights when the phases are…complete, I suppose…when it's _definitely_ the New Moon, I have complete control. I can do whatever I want, and you and Jeevesy have no say in it. Same with the other two phases."**

"My God. He actually got it right."

Jamie chuckled a bit before saying, "So, your influence on me is determined by the phase of the moon? The New Moon is only in a couple of weeks…"

"**And that's when I'm gonna kill your pal, Gimpy."**

"No. You're not killing him."

"That's the spirit, Jamison! It is not your place to…"

"What I meant was, if anyone's gonna kill him," Jamie said, thinking about Rikku, "It'll be me."

_(V)_

"_What?__Two weeks?_" Rikku shouted. Andrea and Dennis had just asked her to arrange their wedding. "Not even the most experienced people can put together a wedding in two weeks!"

"It has to be before the next New Moon," Andrea said.

"Sorry," Rikku said. "Even with the other Al Bhed helping out, we just can't do it."

Andrea was about to give up when Dennis whispered in her ear, "Let me handle this." He then turned to Rikku and asked, "You can't do it in two weeks, so how about 14 days?"

"Now _that_ we can do." She immediately got on her Commsphere and started contacting all the other Al Bhed she could think of. She had to make sure they all had airships so they could fly in supplies. "Where is it gonna be?"

"Uh…" Andrea stuttered. "B-Besaid."

"Okie-dokie!" Rikku turned back to her Commsphere and yelled, "Besaid! On the double! No excuses!" After that, she stood and went to go prep the Pickle for launch.

"How…wha…" Andrea couldn't understand what just happened. She thought very hard and started counting silently to herself. "But two weeks is…"

Dennis raised his hand, gesturing for her to stop in mid sentence.

"You just have to know how to talk to her," Dennis smirked. "Besides, if she doesn't know the difference by now…don't spoil her fun." And he smiled.

_(VI)_

Not 30 minutes later, all of them, Paine, Baralai, Dennis, Andrea, Rikku, and even Jennifer, were on Besaid, overseeing the unloading of supplies. Well, Rikku was in charge of the supplies getting from the airships to the ground. She stood in the middle of Besaid village, clipboard in hand, a pencil between her lips, and a dealer's visor on. She was barking orders in Al Bhed, pointing people where they needed to go, and smacking around the slackers. It _looked_ like the wedding would be a lot sooner than they thought.

After Rikku had taken care of the first round of party supplies, she turned to Dennis and Andrea and asked, "What are you going to do about invitations?"

They looked at each other and Dennis said, "We'd like as many people to come as possible. Although…I'm not really in the mood to lick a half-million stamps."

"I can help with that." Hey, look, it's Shinra. Oh my God! It's Shinra! How long has it been since we seen that little midget? Not nearly long enough, I know. Don't cry; everything will be okay.

"How?" Rikku asked.

"I can hook up the Commsphere network for a system-wide broadcast. It may take a little time though. I need to test the system, see if any of the Commspheres have been destroyed, and replace the ones that have been. Then I have to record the transmission and set it up on a loop. This could take a few days, maybe even a week."

"Can't you do it any faster?" Rikku whined, slapping the clipboard on her thigh.

"I'm just a…"

"Don't say it!" Rikku shouted. "Just…don't say it. You got time. But keep in mind, the wedding is in 14 days. Don't dilly-dally around like we got two _weeks_ for this thing."

"Uh…Rikku…" Shinra said, slowly. Dennis began inching away from Rikku, as inconspicuously as he could. "14 days…_is_ two weeks."

Rikku looked at Shinra then looked up into space, counting on her fingers. Her eyes suddenly widened and she yelled, "Dammit, Dennis!" Dennis could have been half way to Kilika by the time she figured it out.

"Can I give him a wedgie, Andrea? Please?"

"Nope. Only I'm allowed to do that." she shrugged.

"Well, can I just…" Rikku went silent, a rare moment, and looked at Andrea with wide eyes. Andrea was just grinning. "I did not need to know that. I did _not_ need to know that." The Black Belt laughed a little bit at the face she made.

"Can I get to work on the network yet?" Shinra asked.

"Like you need permission…" Rikku said.

Shinra walked off, grumbling, and everyone went back to work. Yuna agreed to take Andrea to Luca and have her pick out a dress (which her eye started twitching at the thought), and Baralai said he had some dress robes Dennis could borrow. Tidus managed to talk the Aurochs into helping out, and they were unpacking the supplies and putting them where Rikku told them to.

And Jennifer…well…she was just…there.

_(VII)_

About five days before the New Moon, the same stranger that had rode in on a chocobo the day of Lady Yuna's concert strode into Luca again. Earlier that day he had seen a Commsphere advertising Andrea and Dennis' wedding. When saw who it was he just laughed.

"**Well what do you know," **he said. **"Even after 1000 years…how appropriate. Maybe I should pay her a visit on this momentous day. Ah, Phoeny… you haven't changed at all, have you?"**

"_You got a problem with her or something?"_

"**Who doesn't? I always thought she was a melodramatic sap. And an annoying one at that."** and no more thoughts were passed between them.

He strode over to the docks and looked around trying to spot a small ship he could hijack and take to Besaid. Instead, he saw multiple supply ships filled with what looked like wedding decorations. Off to one side, Noct spotted an old man in black trying to talk to one of the pursers.

"I'm telling you. I'm supposed to officiate this wedding," the old man pleaded. "You _must_ let me on!"

"Sorry, Father. No money, no ride."

The old man looked like all was lost when a mysterious stranger walked up. He tossed a bag of Gil at the purser, a bag filled to the brim. The man checked the bag, and saw that there was enough Gil in it to pay for at least seven people. The purser looked at the stranger, then back to the bag.

"**Shame on you, not letting this man do his duty as a priest," **Noct said.

While the purser was stuttering, the old man turned to Noct and tipped his hat, saying, "Bless you, young man. Bless you. How can I ever repay you?"

"**Not necessary. Just let me ride with you and we'll call it even."**

The old man agreed and they were on their way. They talked the entire trip, mostly about the duty of a priest and proper procedure in a marriage. The old man kept asking Noct to help him go over what he was supposed to say. He kept saying he was getting on in the years. 'Old noodle ain't what it used to be,' he said. Noct just smiled and played along. He was beginning to like the old man. It was a shame he'd have to die.

Along with everyone else.

Authors' Notes-SDB: Whoopee, after many a night of cheap, meaningless sex, Andrea and Dennis are finally gonna marry. Joy of joys. And yes, I have proof that Gippal is nothing but a big girl lying about her gender. I mean honestly, he wears purple-of all colors-twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and…stuff. You know the drill.

FDB- But I _like_ cheap, meaningless sex… I mean, I made Rikku and Jamie do it in my other fic like a couple of drunken bunnies. Surprised Rikku hasn't punched out a kid yet. NOT THAT SHE WILL! No…God forbid… And if you guys don't believe Shadoobie when she says that Gippal is a girl…well you guys just suck.


	10. Margaritaville

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter 10  
Margaritaville**

"No! No! You can't make me! Have mercy!"

"Calm down, you big baby," Paine said as she, Yuna, and Jennifer dragged Andrea to Rikku's airship. They were off to Luca to find Andrea a wedding dress. And of course, Andrea didn't like the idea, so she was fighting with all her might.

"Odd…" Jennifer thought to herself. "You'd think a woman able to take out an army of half-fiends by herself would be able to fight off three women…one of them expecting."

"I'm _not_ pregnant, dammit!" Paine exclaimed.

"That's what they _all _say…"

"I know where you live, Jen-Jen," She said threateningly.

"Eep," Needless to say she was far from being afraid

Suffice to say that Jennifer was quiet until they got Andrea aboard the airship. By then, she had calmed down enough to strap herself in and prepare for take off. But before they did, they saw Rikku talking to a dirty mirror…I mean Jennifer. They were arguing about something, but no one could hear what. Eventually, Jennifer handed Rikku a small bottle and Rikku handed a small bag of Gil to Jennifer. Jen left the airship and Rikku took off.

"What was that about?" Yuna asked.

"Uh…Jen had some good fuel booster she wanted to sell me. We were haggling over the price. What did you think?"

"I think you were plotting something," Andrea said.

"Uh…well…um…beautiful weather we're having, huh?"

They were silent for the rest of the trip to Luca.

_(II)_

"Where are we going, pray tell?" Dennis asked the men dragging him towards Gippal's airship.

"I said I had some robes you could borrow," Baralai said. "We're going to see if they fit."

"Wouldn't it be easier to bring them here?"

"They might not fit," Gippal said. "And if they don't, we'd still have to go to Luca to get you fitted."

"Oh…but how come every man on the island is coming along?"

Gippal looked to Baralai who looked to Tidus who looked to Wakka who looked to Nooj who then looked to Cid. "No reason," they all said.

Before boarding the airship, they saw a small boat come into port. A man in black stepped off, a hat low over his eyes. In one hand, he carried a long trunk, and in the other a holy text of Yevon. '_Guess that's the priest,_' Dennis thought. The man continued on to the village without a word.

When they finally got onboard, Gippal walked outside and talked with a mysterious woman. She boarded the airship as well, and they took off. It was quiet for the rest of the trip. With the exception of an occasional snicker and chuckle.

_(III)_

"**Let's see…"** Noct said. "**It's three days before the New Moon and from the looks of it the wedding's going to be tomorrow. We can't have that, now can we?"**

What made him especially giddy was that he had walked past Baralai, Dennis, and the others and they didn't even recognize him. It was perfect. And all he had to do was steal that old man's duds. He had everything planned. The wedding would have to be…set back, but it had to look like something else did it. '**_That's what that stop at the Luca blitz dome was for,_' **Noct thought as he was guided to his tent, the people believing that he was the priest.

He opened the trunk and inside were three things other than the old man's belongings: Tetsusaiga, Masamune, and the arm of a half-fiend. It was all too perfect: set the wedding back until the New Moon, then, that night, the fun begins. He already knew the procedure for a wedding by heart thanks to the priest. He'd have to visit the Farplane and thank the old man.

**_"Phoeny, Phoeny, Phoeny,"_** he thought as he shook his head. **_"A millennia hasn't taught you a damn thing, has it? Tisk, tisk. Maybe you'll finally learn to listen to me after I play a game of Risk with your life…so to speak."_**

_(IV)_

"Do I _really have to_ wear a dress? I mean, it is _my_ wedding after all." Andrea whined. As far as she was concerned what she wore right now was fine. Of course the clothes she wore now were so big they could second as a tent, but who was paying attention?

"Oh come on, Dennis would love it. You want to look nice for _him_, don't you? How about this one?" Yuna asked her, as she held up a flowing white dress.

"Huh?" Andrea asked, looking half asleep and flinching when she got a good look at it. "Yeah…sure…beautiful…" she was being as sarcastic as she could without being offensive.

Yuna let her arms drop. That was about the third time she had said that. "Something's bothering you," she said. "What is it?"

"I…don't know. I just feel like something's going to happen." It was a gut deep feeling that made her head hurt.

"Duh…" Rikku said. "You're gonna get married, silly."

"No…not that. I had a dream and I can't quite understand it. It's like… everything's dark. I can only _hear_ what's going on. I hear…shouting…someone crying…and…a howl. Something bad is going to happen at the wedding."

"Nothing's gonna happen," Rikku said. "Everything's gonna be fine. No one would dare attack your wedding, knowing that the Phoenix will be there."

"…Maybe you're right. Yeah, you _are_ right. Nothing bad is gonna happen." She smiled for once.

"That's the spirit!" Yuna said. "Now how does this dress look?"

"It looks…white. And clean." She flinched again.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"I know, I know," Andrea said, chuckling. It was so easy to get Yuna steamed.

"Rikku," Paine whispered. "Let's leave these two alone. You and me still have to pick out bridesmaid dresses."

"You? In a dress? _Again?_ I'd pay 1000 Gil to see that."

"Minus four respect points, Rikku."

"Aw; what am I down to _now_?"

"More than your boyfriend, less than Gippal."

"That's low, isn't it?" Rikku thought for a minute before asking, "How come Jamie doesn't have that many respect points?"

"I just met him. He hasn't earned my respect yet."

They walked over to the other side of the store and started browsing. Paine wanted to get something in black, but Rikku wouldn't let her. Although Paine kept saying that white clashes with her hair. Rikku smiled and walked over to a mirror, holding a dress up to her body. Surprisingly enough, the dress wasn't all that revealing, considering what she usually wore. Thief, Berserker, Gunner, the list goes on.

But her smile faded as she looked in the mirror. She imagined Jamie next to her, holding her hand. The Al Bhed shrugged. Everyone else was married: Yuna and Tidus, Paine and Baralai, Lulu and Wakka, and even LeBlanc and Nooj. Now Andrea was getting married. Everyone around her was finding happiness, but she was left with nothing.

"Jamie…" she said softly.

"You'll find each other eventually," Paine said. Rikku turned around and saw Paine smiling. A rare sight. "You won't be left out for long."

"I hope you're right, Painey." Rikku sighed and turned back to the mirror. Paine was right. She'd be with Jamie again by the end of all of this. Andrea said so after all. She looked at Paine in the mirror and saw that she was scowling again.

"What?"

"Minus two respect points for that 'Painey' thing."

"Oh, come on!"

They eventually got out of there with four dresses. It cost a king's ransom, but it was going to be worth it. Andrea was a little bit nervous about getting married. But she couldn't quite tell what was more unsettling: the fact that she was getting married at all, or that she was going to wear a dress in public. Either way she was willing to go through with it. It was time for her to have some definite structure in her life and this was a damn good start. On their way back to Rikku's airship, Andrea could have sworn she saw Nooj walking into one of the stores. Actually, it looked like a bar. But it might not have been Nooj. No…just think of the number of people in Spira with Machina legs, crazy hairstyles, and a cane. Yeah…that really narrows it down. Narrow as the fucking Grand Canyon.

_(V)_

"Where are we going?" Dennis asked as he walked along with a blindfold on. He sounded somewhat…concerned? "Because unless Baralai's closet is a top secret government facility, I don't see the point in the blindfold. Am I going to have to have a retina scan or something?"

"Let's just say," Gippal chuckled, "that…damn. Baralai, how _do_ you explain something like this?"

"I don't know. I'm still reeling from when this happened to _me._"

"What happened?" Dennis asked. "Last time you walked into your closet?"

"I wish this _was_ my closet."

"Huh?" Dennis was about as confused as could be. But everything made sense when the blindfold was removed. He was in a bar, and everyone was smiling and shouting and looking at him.

"It's your bachelor party, buddy," Gippal said, slapping Dennis on the back.

"We all had one before we were married," Baralai said. "Even old hard-assed Nooj had one."

"And I still want to kill you." Nooj said flatly.

"It's gonna be fun, ya?" Wakka said. "Your last night to really be a man."

"And you can get away with the hangover," Tidus said.

"Come on, pal!" Gippal shouted, pushing an open beer into Dennis' hands. "Join the fun!"

"Oh, dear God," Dennis said, whimpering.

_(VI)_

'**_All that's left now is to wait.' _**Noct sat in his tent, looking like he was meditating. That _was_ his excuse for privacy, after all.**_   
_**

_'Remember: you _promised_ Rikku wouldn't get hurt. She gets hurt and I castrate you with the Wind Scar.'__   
_

_'**Sounds like a good time. Bring it on.'**_**_   
_**

_'You know, if Dias were awake, I'd have him help me punch you in the balls.' _

_ '**I love you, too.' **_

**_ '_**_Just make sure she doesn't get hurt.' _

_ '**Honestly, I don't get what you see in the little slut.' **_Next thing Noct knew, he had slapped himself across the face. '**_What the hell was that?' _**

****_'Take it back.' _

_ '**Take back calling your girlfriend a slutty-ass whore?' **_

**_ '_**_I'll kill you! Take it back now or I kill you!' _

_ '**You know what the problem with that is? Kill me, you kill yourself. And you never see your little…harlot again.' **_

**_ '_**_Just promise me that Rikku doesn't get hurt, and that when all of this is over, you get out of my head.'_

_**Deal. Whatever you want. My quarrel isn't with you. It's with…'  
**   
'I'm so proud of you, Noct. You learned what quarrel means!'_

**_'Where the hell'd you come from?'   
_**

_'And you're back to using monosyllabic profanity.'   
_

**_'Monosyllibical-what?'   
_**

_'I rest my case.'   
_

_'Could you both shut up for a while? I'd like to keep what sanity I have left.'_ And they were _all _silent for the rest of the night.

_(VII)   
_

"87 bottles of beer on the wall! 87 bottles of beer! Take one down; pass it around…what the bleedin' hell comes after 87?" Gippal asked. He was actually singing pretty well in his inebriated state.

"86," Nooj muttered in a slurred voice. "And I think you've had enough."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," Gippal grumbled "I can't drink tonight. I'm drivin'."

"Just stop singing…ugh…that stupid song," Baralai said, slightly drunk himself.

"Oh, come on, Barry," Tidus said from the barstool next to the praetor. "It's a hic classhic."

"Ah!" Gippal said, grinning. "At least some people have taste in tunes. Unlike that crap you listen to, Barry."

"Ya know?" Wakka said, staggering up to the blitz champ and the praetor, slinging an arm around each. "I haven't had this much fun since Yuna beat Sin. That was some good times, ya?"

"You didn't drink at _your_ bachelor party?" Tidus asked.

"Lu wanted me sober for the wedding. And trust me; you don't argue wid a lady that can freeze yer undies while you're still wearin'em."

"I hear that," Cid said, raising his glass. "Rikku's mom was a black mage. She'd do stuff like that to keep me in line. O'course she preferred to set mine on fire."

All of them were silent for a while. Not many of them had anything to say, and most of it wouldn't have made sense anyways. Drunks can't keep a train of thought worth shit. Dennis eventually walked up to the bar and sat down next to Nooj. The Meyvn looked over at the White Mage and noticed that he had barely touched his beer. There was something wrong with this.

"Why aren't you havin' a good time, Dennis?" Nooj asked the Groom-to-be

"Well, it's against my morals and codes as a White Mage to drink. Even though it's my bachelor party, I…just can't."

"Hey, hey, hey," Tidus slurred. "Yuna's been known to drink from time to time."

"What?" Dennis said, horrified. "But, she's…she's the High Summoner!"

"So?" The blitz star asked. "She knows when to loosen up. And consider this: Barry's the praetor and he's drinkin'. Noojie's the leader of the Youth League and he's drinkin'. Gippal…I forget what he does, but he's still drinkin'. I'm a blitzball superstar, and I'm drinkin'. Wakka's married to a psycho Black Mage and in danger of having his boxers combust, and he's drinkin'. And Cid, well…he's bald, and he's drinkin'." All of the men there nodded as if they understood the drunken idiot's ramblings. "You, Denny, are getting married…to a _bird_, and you're not drinkin. There's something wrong with that picture."

"Maybe that's better," Gippal said, grinning. "It's be better if he's sober for this next part. Roll it out boys!"

Three men came out of a room at the back of the bar pushing a cart loaded down with the biggest cake Dennis had ever seen in his life. It was at least five feet wide at the base, had about seven layers, and was beautifully decorated. Every man in that bar, except Dennis, had the biggest grins on their faces. They knew what was to come. They had all had bachelor parties before. And if you, yes _you_, the boob reading this, have any brains at all, you know what's about to happen. 

"Is…are we going to eat _all_ of this?" Dennis asked, trying to figure out how seven men were going to eat a cake this big.

"Well," Tidus said, throwing an arm around the White Mage, "I don't know about the rest, but the filling's for you."

"A little gift from Rikku," Gippal said with a sly grin on his face. "But first, a toast." All of them lifted their glasses and/or bottles, some of them raising two bottles. Tidus, you're drunk enough. You don't need to down two mugs at once. And after a little prodding from Baralai and Nooj, Dennis lifted his lightly sipped on bottle as well.

"To Denny and Andrea!" Gippal shouted. "Marriage is a big responsibility. You have to dedicate yourself to one woman for the rest of your days. And you…"

"Hurry it up, Gippal!" Tidus shouted. "My arms are getting tired and I'm thirsty."

"Well you shouldn't have raised two mugs, you 'ithering blidiot'," Cid said, tossing and empty beer bottle at the young blitz star.

"Like I was _saying_," Gippal growled, "You and Andrea are gonna be together forever. Let's hope you picked the right one."

"Cheers!"

They all downed their drinks, except Tidus who passed out, spilling half of his beer over his clothes. Even Dennis drank a little more of his beer. That's it, Denny! Drink up! If you leave a bachelor party sober, you either have a woman at home ready to set fire to your undies, or you're a lightweight what can't hold his liquor. Guess which one Dennis is?

"Now, since you'll be dedicated to Andrea for the rest of your life," Gippal said, throwing an arm around Dennis, "you might as well enjoy your last night as a free man; which is why we present to you a token of our esteem."

Dennis was about to ask what he was talking about when the top of the cake flew off. Out came a woman with a dark tan, long, dark purple hair and… My God. Clothes that would make Rikku look modest. She was wearing a skimpy, light purple top and a matching purple thong. She leaned on the edge of the cake and looked right at Dennis, an underlying lust in her eyes.

"Wha…huh…_Jennifer_?" Dennis stuttered as Gippal and Cid shoved him down into a chair.

Jennifer climbed out of the cake and walked over to Dennis, swaying her hips with every step. When she reached him, she bent over, giving Dennis a clear view of her ample cleavage, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. She pulled him close and whispered something in his ear.

"Rikku says this is revenge for that two weeks-14 days thing. Sorry, Denny, but I'm being well paid for this."

She then pulled herself forward and straddled his legs. Pulling him even closer than before. All the other men were whooping and hollering and cheering Dennis on. Wakka not so much, seeing as how he was trying to cheer and keep Tidus propped up in a chair at the same time. Jennifer put her arms around Dennis' neck and pulled her face within and inch of his.

"So, White Mage," she said. "You like what you see?" Before he could answer, she whispered, "You must like it, because I don't think that's your wand poking into my leg."

_(VIII)   
_

During the trip back to Besaid, Andrea felt something tingling. And no, it's not her Spider-Sense. She just got the strangest feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew it involved Dennis and the man she…'thought' was Nooj going into that bar.

"I sense a great disturbance in the Schwartz," she said as she looked out the window.

Rikku turned around and gave Andrea a weird look. "Listen, as much as you want this thing to go faster, I'm afraid I haven't installed the Ludicrous Speed warp drive…yet."

Andrea snapped to attention and looked at Rikku, a look of surprise in her eyes. "How do you know about that movie?"

"It's, like, my favorite movie of all time! Other than Dances with Lupines. But that's only because I think Covin Kestner is hot."

'_Dances with Lupines?_' Andrea just shook her head and asked, "You like Spaceballs?"

"Andrea…it's called Spacespheres, duh…"

'_And I thought I had this world figured out,_' Andrea thought. Whether she had this place figured or not wasn't so much the issue anymore. She was still unable to shake that feeling of impending doom. That and the Schwartz. Something just wasn't right. She continued to look out the window, shrugging as she tried to forget it for a while.

Author's Notes: FDB- Did you know that one of the actual actors in Dances with Wolves is named Nathan Lee Chasing His Horse? I like Indian names. And I'm not talking about the Dots-not-Feathers Indians. Actual Pigeon Forge Indians. The ones that sell you quality Indian Artifacts made in China.

SDB-Mmmm, China. I like egg rolls. Lord only knows what's going to happen next chapter, and let's pray Andrea never finds out about Rikku's vengeance. She would kill the Al Bhed, bring her back to life, and then kill her again. She could do that you know. So there!


	11. Til Death Do Us Part

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Eleven**

'**Til Death do us Part**

Dennis woke feeling rather crappy. He couldn't decide what was worse though; the slight headache from what little alcohol he drank, the smell of vomit from one of his unconscious cohorts, or the stringy bikini top sticking out of the fly of his pants. He quickly pulled them free and tossed them across the room in such a way that you would think he was afraid of catching a deadly disease. Well who knows, infidelity could be considered an ailment.

From what he could remember, which was more than one might think, Jennifer had jumped out of a cake and then…oh dear. The White Mage cringed. He figured he must've fainted…it was _so wrong_. Finally he stood up, finding that the chair he'd been sitting had fallen over. Maybe that's where the headache came from.

Dennis looked around to find the others, most of them asleep on the floor. The room reeked of beer (yeah I know, go fucking figure that one out.). He was slightly concerned to find Jennifer nowhere in sight. Well, she was still in the room somewhere, but he thought it better that he didn't know that. With a shrug of finality he shook his head. As he tried to rouse the rest of them from their drunken slump he silently prayed that Andrea would never, _ever_ find out about this.

_(II)_

The night after tomorrow would be the New Moon. Andrea was still uneasy about it. It seemed like they were cutting it too close. Perhaps eloping and then waiting until all this Guardian bullshit was over to have a formal ceremony would've been a better idea. Well, it was a bit late for second thoughts now. Tomorrow morning she would break her own curse and be bound to a man for the rest of her life. At last she wouldn't feel so dirty about having sex out of marriage.

Despite how excited she was about all of this, she was still anxious and worried about Dennis not being back yet. Well, he should be back in a couple of hours. She tried to chase her worries away with a stern shake of the head.

The last touches were being put on the set up for the wedding. Andrea was doing the best she could to lend a hand despite how scattered her thoughts and line of focus was. Not to mention it was a real bitch to keep her hands out of the food. True, it wasn't until tomorrow, but it never hurt to get a few things started sooner than expected.

Andrea stood there and overlook what had been done. She couldn't get over how much everyone was doing just for her wedding. It was really heart warming. It was funny how Rikku was nowhere to be seen, however. She was pulled out of her thoughts by a tug on her pants leg. She looked down and saw a little girl, no older than four looking up at her with piercing green eyes and long, dirty blonde hair. Andrea looked at her cockeyed at first, having never seen the child before. However there were keen resemblances to people she couldn't place.

"You're the Bird Lady." The little girl said, pointing right at her.

She would've corrected her but then thought again. Yeah, she _was_ technically a bird, and last time she checked she was still a woman. Okay, so the kid was right. But how did she know about the Phoenix?

"Who told you I'm the Bird Lady?" she knelt down so that she didn't have to look down on the girl.

"That's what mommy calls you." The girl replied.

"She _does_? Who's mommy?"

"I'll show you," she held out her tiny arms. "Carry me."

Andrea was hesitant. Maybe she was afraid of breaking her. She wasn't sure how to handle small children. They didn't have any safety warning on them or anything, nothing to prevent drunken doughnuts from operating machinery. Oh well. When the little girl refused to lower her arms and take back her request Andrea chanced to pick her up. She wasn't all that heavy. Hell, she could carry the kid on one arm.

The little girl settled on Andrea's hip and held her about the waist, pointing the way for her to follow. She was lead all the way to the beach and onto Rikku's airship. Andrea had a strange thought at first but quickly dismissed it, giving it up to sheer unlikelihood.

Andrea came onto the bridge, marveling at all of the tools strewn across the floor.

"Sorry, Bird Lady, but Mommy's messy." the little girl said.

"I can see that."

"She's probably lost the Chuck Tape again."

"Don't you mean Duct Tape?"

"Like I said, Chuck Tape,"

Andrea shook her head with a smile. She flinched at the sound of a loud crash and high pitched swear word.

"Rikku, is that you?" Andrea called, hearing her voice carry.

"Hey, Andrea; gimme a second and I'll be right there." The Al Bhed appeared a few minutes later carrying a monster of a tool chest.

She took one look at Andrea and froze. Seeing the child on her hip made her drop the tool box. More metallic crap went all over the place.

"I found the Bird Lady, mommy!" Andrea put the girl down and she ran up to and hugged Rikku around the knees. Rikku just looked at Andrea, not knowing what she could say. Andrea made now readable expression. She was shocked if anything.

Rikku bent. "Eve, sweetie, I told you not to leave the airship without me."

"Sorry, mommy." She pouted a little.

"It's okay. Go to your room for a while; me and the Bird Lady have to talk."

The child left the bridge obediently and left the two of them alone. Andrea still looked at Rikku somewhat blankly.

"Is there something you should tell me?" Andrea asked.

"Maybe," she replied sheepishly.

"The kid's yours, isn't she?"

"Maybe,"

"And let me guess," she paused for a moment. "Black's the father,"

"Maybe,"

"Well, is it a yes or a no?"

"…Maybe…_okay_, so I got pregnant at fifteen, big damn deal!" she looked ashamed.

"Who else knows?"

"Just…just my dad; he's been looking after her mostly. But now I can take care of her. I was going to tell you guys, honest."

"How did you hide it?" this Andrea had to hear.

"Very carefully." She replied simply. "That's the best why I know of to describe it. Please, don't tell anyone…especially Jamie."

"He deserves to know, doesn't he? I mean, he_ is_ the father, isn't he; and what about Yuna?"

"Yeah, but I want to wait. _I_ want to tell them when _I'm_ ready. You can keep a secret, can't you?"

"I do it for you, Ri-Ri. I expect you to do what's right in your own time. Where's Black anyway?"

"I haven't heard from him." She distracted herself a little by picking the stray tools off the floor. "I'm worried."

"Me too," but I doubt it's for the same reason, she thought.

"Have you had any visions?"

"None that could tell me what you want to know. But I have a feeling he'll show up soon."

"Really?" she looked at Andrea hopefully.

"I think so. Who knows, maybe even tomorrow,"

"That would be good." She sighed. It sounded like she didn't expect to be so lucky.

"Woman, what are you looking for?"

"I can't find my fuzzy pen."

"You made this mess," she gestured to the bridge floor. "For a _pen_,"

Rikku nodded her head. She scratched behind her ear and suddenly started laughing. It was behind her ear this whole time and she'd destroyed the bridge for nothing. Andrea only shook her head.

"I can't wait until Dennis gets back." She said, changing the subject.

"Why? You can't see him until the wedding anyway."

"You people follow that ass backwards tradition too! Dammit! Well, I mean, it's just hard to be without him since we've been practically joined at the hip for so long."

"You _sure_ it's at the _hip_?"

"Not funny, but you know what I mean," Rikku only nodded with a shit eating grin on her face. Andrea scowled sarcastically. After a few seconds of that _she_ began to laugh a little.

"What?"

"I could just imagine you pregnant," she snickered. "Mount St. Rikku set to erupt, and by the looks of it it'll be a real doozy." She started to laugh hard enough for her face to turn red. She almost fell over.

"It's nothing to laugh at; it felt like it weighed a damn ton! Just wait 'til _you_ have kids," she thought she was getting her back.

"Hell, I don't even know if I _can_. Either way, it's still funny. I bet the morning sickness was fun,"

"Hmph, I'd rather have a root canal! I threw up food I never ate!"

Andrea reeled in laughter, when she suddenly stopped and looked at Rikku seriously. "And where in the hell do you get off in calling me the Bird Lady?"

"That's for calling me Ri-tard, and besides, Eve likes it. I wanted to make sure she could easily remember who you were in case of an emergency."

"So you refer to me as the Bird Lady? I guess it's better than calling me Big Bird."

"I actually thought about that; I just thought the other one sounded less obvious."

"Good point." There was silence for a little while and then Andrea tilted her head to hear. "They're back."

_(III)_

Noct crept quietly in the darkness of the night, feeling giddy at how thin the moon had become. The night after tomorrow would be _his_ night. The New Moon would usher in _his_ time. What a better way to say "Honey, I'm home," than to crash a party and some other morally horrific actions of not niceness?

Everyone in the village was asleep, completely unaware of his very presence. Before having come out for his evening prowl, Noct had pried a few bits of Machina bling from the half fiend limb. It was all part of the plan. He could see easily through the night, and he eyed the setup for tomorrow's ceremony with a shrug. It looked so nice, so well done. It was a shame to have to see it go.

He was quiet and meticulous at first, not wanting to wake anyone just yet. Just as he was finished he dropped the Machina parts and broke a few more things, making sure that the crash was loud enough. After that he fled into the darkness, laughing all the way. No, not in the jingle bells kind of way. Trust me, this story is far from being a Christmas carol.

Andrea heard noises that slightly roused her from sleep. She didn't get up right away. She'd only been asleep an hour and it wasn't even eleven at night yet. She managed to drag herself up when there was a loud crash outside. She was joined by several others out in the open, shocked at the sight before them. Everything was a total mess.

Yuna was among them. "What happened!"

Andrea could feel herself getting that much angrier every passing second. She looked around, noting everything she was seeing. Claw marks everywhere and numerous things broken to pieces; at first she thought to be slow to judgment, but when she found several pieces of metal and a bolt, she was flat out pissed.

"Fucking half fiends." She spoke unusually calm, clutching the metal tightly in her fist.

"Son of a bitch!" Rikku squeaked. Normally she wasn't so clear when suddenly jolted from a dead sleep, but this was a serious eye opener. "After all that work!" The Al Bhed felt tears coming to her eyes.

Andrea saw Rikku fall to her knees, coving her face with her hands. Her mind suddenly snapped back to the dream, recalling the sounds she had heard so vividly. Okay, so that's one third of it…

"_Rikku_!"

Everyone looked up to see Paine. She was wearing a towel around her body and one in her hair, and was dripping wet. Baralai looked at his wife with wide eyes.

"Whoa, is it our anniversary already?" he started counting on his hands. "Six months, boo-yah!"

Rikku had suddenly sucked up her tears and looked at Paine with confusion.

"What's the matter? Why are you so angry?"

"_Why_!" she yanked the towel out of her hair. "_This_ is why!"

There was an audible gasp from everyone present. Somehow, but some unknown force, Paine's hair had suddenly been changed from platinum gray to bright, neon pink. You could use her head as a light house it was so strong a color.

"I didn't do it!" Rikku protested. "Honest! You sure it wasn't Jennifer!"

Out of the corner of her Paine could see her younger sister trying to inch away, hiding herself behind a tent.

"I'm going to _strangle you_!" and she ran off, her sister getting a slight head start considering Paine had to remember to hold her only cover to her body.

Andrea winced. Okay, that's two out of three. Yelling, crying, and then there was…what was it again?

Everyone's head turned when the final piece of the dream presented itself. A chilling howl, somehow in three part harmony filled the starry night sky. It made Andrea's skin crawl, and her insides went dead cold.

"What was _that_?" Yuna looked so afraid. She looked to Andrea, hoping she could answer.

"I have a thought, I just pray I'm not right." It couldn't be him, she thought. He isn't even here. If he was on the island I would know. "Rikku, do you think we could salvage any of this?"

"Yeah," she sniffled a little. "But the wedding is going to have be put off."

"How long?"

"I can have it done in…day after tomorrow. Hey, it's still before the New Moon."

"By twelve hours," she said firmly. She shrugged. There was no other way to do this. "Fine we'll get started in the morning."

Everyone was still very shaken, but within the next hour the village was quiet again.

_(III)_

Noct was beside himself. He sat in his tent, laughing every other minute or so that passed. They'd fallen for his trick, hook-line-and-sinker. They planned to do exactly what he'd expected and the marriage would take place on the day of the new moon. All he had to do now was play his cards right and he could stall until dark. This was working oh so well.

'_Andrea's probably going to kill you, you dumb fuck,'_

"**Like to see her try," **he chanced speaking aloud to himself, somewhat mindful of people who might be listening.

"_I do believe that Jamison is right, Noct. However I don't condone his use of language."_

"**You don't 'condone' anything, you up tight snot."** He made air quotations mockingly.** "I swear if you ever farted it would come out your ears."**

"_Vulgar…just plain vulgar,"_

'_Sorry, Jeeves, but that's pretty funny."_

"_For the love of the Queen Mother, stop calling me Jeeves! My name is,"_

"**I told you to shut it." **Noct snapped. **"Besides, it's sad but true that dear old Phoeny and I can't wring each other's throat until we turn purple. Or _any_ color for that matter."**

'_What do you mean? Is this about that whole polar opposite thing?'_

"_Noct is correct, for once."_

"**Hey, Jeeves, take my advice and blow me. But the two of us could reduce each other to a fucking index finger and not die. We can't kill each other _or_ ourselves."**

"_However you left something out, oh smart one."_

"**Like _what_, cluster fuck? Hey, that rhymed a little!"**

"_Good lord,"_ Jeeves shrugged. _"You neglected to mention that while you cannot kill one another, you can still cause one another serious physical harm."_

"**You done having shit fall out of your mouth yet? I know that!"** Noct suddenly punched himself in the chin. **"What the hell was that for?"**

'_I just don't like you, that's all.'_

"**Cute."** Noct grumbled a bit, swallowing the blood in his mouth. **"Hey…you smell that?"**

Both Jamie and Jeeves were quiet. How could they smell anything? In a sense neither of them had nose.

"**Sera,"** he spoke absently, as if to no one.

'_Who's Sera?'_

"_Oh dear me. This cannot be a good thing."_

Noct left his tent for the open air of late evening. The moon would be up in a couple of hours. He sniffed the air, picking up a scent of ocean water and something vividly familiar. He chased after it like a hungry wolf on a hunt for fresh prey.

Jennifer had managed to avoid the wrath of her sister all day. I suppose the fact that Paine was in nothing but a towel was a bit of a deterrent for her to give chase. At least now Jennifer could spot her in a crowd. You could see that hair for miles, especially in the daylight. She'd been wandering through the forest of Besaid since last night. By now she was tired and hungry, but she wasn't about to let Paine win this. You could call it sibling rivalry or you could not. I really couldn't care less what you call it at this point.

It was getting very dark, quicker than it had yesterday. If you looked hard enough you could see a few stars appearing.

"_**Sera,"**_

She jumped a little, not sure as to why. She looked around with reserved nervousness, finding no one. She could've sworn whoever had spoke was right next to her. Also, she couldn't quite understand why she reacted to the name. It wasn't even hers but it seemed so familiar. It was almost scary. There was this feeling of a heavy shadow weighing down on her.

"**Sera,"**

Jennifer tried turning around but felt a pair of steely hands take hold of her upper arms. Her body tensed and her heart rate shot up. She was pulled gently up against a solid body, warmth seeping through her clothing.

"_Noct, stop this! Don't be a damn fool!"_

Noct wasn't listening. He turned Jennifer around, keeping an unyielding grip on her. He could see her looking up at him through the thick blackness, most likely unable to see him at all. Noct was lost in his past life, feeling his old notions again after being dead to them for a thousand years.

"Who's Sera? Dude, you're crazy." Jennifer said as if unaffected.

"**Don't you remember? It's me, your little mongrel."** He spoke tenderly as he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. Jennifer shied away from it.

"What are you talking about!" she tried to pull herself from his touch but found it impossible. Noct forced her up against him and kissed her hard.

"_Noct, stop this at once! You don't know what you're doing!"_

"_**Can it, Jeeves."**_

'_Let her go, Noct! Don't make me do this!"_

"_**To hell with you, Black. Now you kids play nice while daddy gets a hard-on and shut the fuck up."**_

Jennifer struggled with him for several minutes, unable to stop him from having his way with her. When he forced her to the ground her glasses flew off, leaving her practically blind an unable to see her attacker. She couldn't see him to begin with, but now it was worse.

Noct felt her try to scream out as he kissed her. It was a bit of a turn on, but not enough of one.

"**You know I don't like it when you're loud, Sera."** He continued to mock compassion when he spoke. **"I hate being interrupted."**

Jennifer kept silent.

_(IV)_

Andrea kept her fingers crossed when she woke. She shrugged in relief to find everything as she'd left it last night when the crew had finished trying to repair the damage that had been done by the half fiends that struck the other night. She felt a little edge now about it having been the half fiends, having given it further thought, but there wasn't much else to point her finger at.

Her first idea was to go to the beach and take some personal time to get her nerves to settle, but those plans were changed when she saw Paine, pink hair and all, running out of the village like a bat out of hell. She sensed something coming from the Praetor's wife; something…disturbing. Without her noticing Andrea followed. She found herself going into the forest, trying hard to keep up with Paine. When at last she stopped Andrea immediately wished she'd never come. Paine was furious beyond words at the sight that had greeted her.

Bits of Jennifer's clothing was strewn about, shreds of it somehow managing to still cling to her body. Rikku had come earlier and wrapped a blanket around her, and had returned Jennifer's glasses that were now cracked. Her mostly naked body was covered in grass stains, bruises, deep bite marks, and scratches. It was strange how it looked as if she'd just been attacked by a wild animal. But Andrea saw the look on her face and knew that wasn't the case. She felt her mind begin to spin madly as the expression brought back horrid memories. Jennifer had been raped; there was no doubt. Andrea recognized that look…she knew it from her own experience.

No one had noticed Andrea's presence until she proceeded to find the nearest tree and throw up. After several minutes she flinched as she felt someone put their hand on her shoulder.

"You okay?" it was Rikku.

"I can't decide what's more disgusting," she spat. "Seeing it happen or have it happen _to you_."

"She didn't see who it was, he knocked her glasses off and it was too dark. She said he spoke to her, but she didn't recognize his voice."

Andrea threw up again. At this rate she was bound to start upchucking her internal organs. Was that a lung?

She regained her composure a little and forced herself to stand up and look. Her stomach lurched again but she refused to throw up again. Paine had Jennifer in her arms, looking so incredibly angry but calm at the same time. That's the only thing Andrea could find frightening about Paine. You would never be able to tell when she was about to snap. It was always the quiet ones you had to worry about.

Andrea stepped forward and noticed something peculiar on Jennifer's back. At first it just looked like more scratches. In actuality it was but they had been put there purposefully. There was some sort of meaning to them. Andrea carefully pulled down some of the blanket and looked at the markings in their entirety. They appeared to be crudely engraved yet unusually skilled and still bloody. From what she could make out they looked like a pair of wings. What a sick-o this man had to have been.

"What do you think it is?" Rikku asked.

"I don't know," Andrea shook her head.

"What ever it is," Paine said firmly. "I'm going to _kill_ whoever did it."

Andrea continued to look at the mark until she impulsively put her hand against it. She felt a hot jolt shoot up her arm and into her head. It was similar but not nearly as painful as what she'd felt when she'd put a hand on Jamison. Something like that was happening now.

Andrea jerked herself away and fell back onto the ground. She held her head and groaned, it suddenly having taken on at least a ton of extra weight. Her vision was swimming and she could feel the chewy chunks of nausea rising in her throat again.

"Andrea," Rikku shook her. "Andrea, you okay?"

"Ugh, what a whammy." She kept her eyes closed as she settled onto her back.

"What did you see?"

Before she answered she sat up, the great weight slowly leaving her pounding skull.

"J-Jennifer…you're only Paine's…half sister, aren't you? Who's your father?"

"_Half sister_?" Paine repeated. What on earth was she talking about?

"I…I never met my dad." She replied in a mild voice.

Andrea reached forward and touched her again, the splitting headache returning. She'd only gotten half the info before. When it all came to her she pulled away again, this time cursing up a storm and cringing some more.

"_Oh my fucking God_!" Andrea swore aloud. "Son of a fuck bucket!"

"What is it!" Rikku asked again.

"What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave here, understand?" she was so serious it wasn't even close to funny. "You tell _no one_!"

Everyone nodded and waited.

"Jennifer," Andrea panted. "_Cid_ is your father."

Everyone's mouth dropped open. Rikku damn near fainted.

"After Rikku's mother died," Andrea couldn't finish with any more details. She figured she didn't really have to.

"So their resemblance isn't a coincidence?" Paine asked in disbelief.

Andrea shook her head hard. No one said a single word for a very long time. They left the woods and returned to the village in silence.

Mailman my ass.

_(V)_

It was coming painfully close to sunset when everything was at last ready for the wedding. Everyone was here, Andrea had taken a nap to settle herself, and there wasn't a half fiend in sight. So far so good. Everything looked as if it were going to go on without a hitch.

"I still think we're cutting it too close." Andrea said with concern.

"It'll be okay, Andrea." Yuna assured her. "We're getting you married today even if it kills us."

"Don't say that ever again, please? So," she sighed. "How do I look?" She'd finally mustered up the courage to put on her dress. It felt so weird it wasn't even funny.

"You clean up nice,"

"So sue me." She replied flatly.

"I was complimenting you, honest. It really does justice to your figure. I think Dennis will love it."

"I think he'll like it a whole lot more when he gets to take it off," she snickered. Yuna laughed with her, relieved to see her somewhat cheerful for a change.

"This has been a long time coming, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel like I've earned it."

"So, you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Andrea took a breath to calm herself.

Outside all of the villagers had gathered for the ceremony. Andrea spotted each of her closest friends out of the crowd as she approached the altar that had been set up in front of Besaid Temple's steps. Her heart beat slowed down a little when she saw Dennis, standing confidently in his royal blue robes. They were accented with fine silver trim. And if anyone goes into a single word of that damned saying I'm going to castrate you with a guitar string!

Andrea came to stand beside him and took his hand. They turned to face the priest who would now read them through it. Honestly, he looked a day older than Methuselah and a second away from breaking his hip and dying. Yeah, I'm a real optimist, aren't I?

The priest held a book beneath his arm as he put his reading glasses on. He then opened the book, blew of a layer of dust from the pages, and began flipping through until he found his place.

"Ah, here we are," he said, his voice somewhat raspy. "By the grace of Yevon we are gathered here to witness the joining of these two young people in the bonds of marriage." He was in the middle of the old Yevon prayer when stopped, clapping a hand over the curve of his back. "Oh dear, it's out again."

Andrea shook her head and step up so she stood behind him. With one hand on his shoulder and the other on his back he pushed the bones back into place.

"Ah, that did it. Thank you dear. Now where was I? Oh yes."

Andrea felt herself getting anxious. Not just because within the next few moments she would no longer be single, but the night seemed to be coming faster than usual. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Also, the old man-although seemingly ancient-was taking this so slowly it almost appeared intentional. Several times as he read from the book he lost his place. The reading alone had to have taken a whole hour.

"Do you have the rings?"

Somehow someone managed to trust Gippal to be ring bearer. The wedding bands were simple cold, nothing all that special. Their meaning gave them their immeasurable value. Gippal handed one to each of them and then stepped away.

"Do you…I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

"Andrea,"

"Right, right; I had an aunt named Andrea once. A wonderful lady…anyhow. Do you Andrea, take Dennis to be your wedded husband?" and he went through the rest of that dreadfully overrated spiel.

"I do." was her answer.

"And do you, Dennis, take Andrea to be your wedded wife?" and so on, so on, so on. You know the drill.

"I do." was his reply. After that the priest gestured and they put the rings on each other's fingers.

"With the power vested in me by the holy order of Yevon, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride…isn't that nice? You know, in all the years I've known you I _still_ think you have horrible timing, Phoeny."

Both Dennis and Andrea looked at him in sheer confusion. Andrea felt her stomach clench. She reminded herself of how dark it had become.

"Oh, my bad, I forgot. You recognize me more like _this_, don't you?"

The priest ripped away his own appearance, tossing the honorable garment aside. Everyone would testify to seeing Jamison Black standing there that night, but Andrea was the only one who knew without a doubt that it was anyone but.

Noct reached out and grabbed Andrea by the wrist, gripping it hard. She felt a shocking cold consume her body and she nearly collapsed. She was reeling on her feet.

"**Remembering a few more things now, huh Phoeny? I told you then and I'm going to tell you again. You should've listened to me."**

Dennis reached for her but Noct smashed the back of his fist into his jaw, feeling something snap as the two forces collided. The White Mage must've flown at least ten feet. He didn't move for several minutes.

"Jamie, what are you doing!" Rikku cried, forcing her way through the thunderstruck attendance.

"**Not now, honey, daddy's working."** He said, gesturing with one finger for her to wait just a moment. Not the social finger, if that's what you're thinking.

His grip was so tight. Andrea pulled as hard as she could, the strain of incoming visions not helping her at all. Yes, she was remembering, but they weren't _her_ memories. They belonged to Phoenix. When at last he let her go she crouched for a moment, waiting for her senses to focus back to normal.

"**I told you,"** He said. **"I told _all_ of you. We made a mistake and now we need to fix it."**

"**_No_**," she stood up, looking at him defiantly. "**_It was no mistake. You made the choice, Cerberus_**." For the first time her Guardian was speaking directly through her.

"**And now I want to take it back. I can and I fully intend to, starting here and now."**

"**_You are still a great fool, Cerberus. Creators cannot undo._**"

"**Watch me,"** at that he drew Masamune. At the sign of weapons, a sure indicator of combat, everyone began to flee for safety. Besaid residence almost had such a procedure down to an art. Like they ever had much of a choice.

Although fighting in a dress was extremely new to her, Andrea was willing to do it. She was ready to take him on, armed or not.

"Jamie, stop this, please!" Rikku was frantic, unable to understand what was happening.

"Go on, Rikku. Get the villagers to higher ground. _Do it_!"

The Al Bhed hesitated at first but then took Andrea's advice. It was more like an order but who was paying attention?

"**Even if you save them tonight they'll die eventually. You know me too well to think I'll stop here."**

"That is if _you_ survive the night."

"**_That _I have no doubts of." **and he gave the blade a good swing. **"You're a fast little tart, ain't ya?"** she had side stepped his initial strike.

"You don't know the half of it." She snapped back.

The two of them exchanged blows throughout the heated battle. The two of them moved so fast it was almost impossible to see what was happening. It was just this ever moving blur of motion. The only things that distinguished the two of them were their choice of swear words. Andrea attempted to break Masamune twice, but only succeeded in making her arms hurt, the skin on the palms splitting open. The blade cracked a little from the tip, but it wasn't anything significant.

Suddenly Noct turned the blade tip down and stabbed it deep into the ground.

"Your aim sucks, pal." She said.

"**Are you saying I missed?"** he stepped away and snickered. **"Looks like I poked a hole in the raft! Oh dear, oh dear! Women and Mogs first!"**

Andrea looked at him crookedly then looked at the sword in the ground. Water began to seep upward from the hole the sword had made.

"**Yes, genius, the island is sinking."** He said flatly. **"My powers are pretty cool, huh?"**

"You son of a bitch!" she lashed out at him, angry. He was threatening her home, she wasn't about to tolerate that. The Arts were so much harder in a dress!

"**Whoa, those are some fancy moves, Phoeny!"** as she aimed for his face he skillfully grabbed her first two fingers, bending them back as he stepped inward so that he force her elbow to bend the wrong way over his shoulder. **"How about this one?"**

He bent forward slightly so that he force his heel straight upward, kicking her hard in the shoulder. Her armed cracked clear out of the socket, the collar bone dislocating as well. He let her go and looked down on her as she writhed in pain. This was too much fun than what was legal.

Hell, she thought; I've had a dead arm before, this is no surprise. I'm still gonna clean his clock! By the time the blinding pain had cleared she was ankle deep in water. Damn this island was sinking in a hurry!

"**You know, I was _really_ hoping you could hit me harder after all of this time."** Noct shrugged, reaching back into his dust coat. **"So far, aside from the obvious, _you're_ the only thing that has disappointed me." **he then unsheathed Tetsusaiga. Andrea vaguely recognized the blade and gave him a fierce look.

"**Try breaking _this_!"**

Noct swung the sword, making it sing as it cut the air in front of him horizontally. Andrea moved along with the motion, making a full turn so she would end facing him again. She never expected him to mimic that and the shock induced hesitation granted her a deep gash across the midsection. Damn, she hadn't even bloodied his nose yet!

Andrea held her arm across her stomach, her knees almost to the ground.

"**Oh _look_, hubby wants to play too!"**

"Dennis…_move_!" Andrea spat, a little blood coming up.

"I remember my vows." He began to make the symbols in the air. Like he had hundreds of times before. "You're mine; to honor and to protect, to love and to cherish… 'til death do us part." It was somewhat hard for him to speak with a swollen jaw.

"**_That_ was so _beautiful_!"** Noct feigned a tear or two. Wisps of energy began to dance around Tetsusaiga. Normally they were pale yellow, but tonight they were electric blue. Something didn't feel normal about this at all. Andrea had sensed the power before, but this was different. She even shuddered at its very presence.

Noct lifted the sword over his head and Dennis finished the symbol. Both men roared, their voices clashing. There was a loud sound and a monumental flash of light. The ground beneath them, though almost several feet under water, shook violently.

When the Wind Scar faded there was another ear splitting noise. The Phoenix had manifested and screamed, its wings completely unfurled, dissipating much of the darkness.

"**Cute, Phoeny, really cute. My turn,**"

Noct's true form at last made itself known. He dropped to all fours as the Guardian took control. Out of his shoulders grew the other two heads of the Cerberus, snarling and gnashing their teeth. Soon enough Noct's face changed to that of the beast, resembling a wolf. The other two had marks on their foreheads. The one on the left was the half moon; the one on the right was the full moon. His pelt was thick and black as pitch, his eyes were gray like steel. Cerberus foamed at the mouth, itching to bite into the closest thing, and it nearly matched Phoenix in size. That was just on all fours.

The titans clashed. Phoenix went for the throat with its talons, and Cerberus snapped at anything in reach.

_(VI)_

Everyone was tense, the water continuing to rise around them. Their only path open lead to the beach, but it was slowly becoming too consumed by the water. If they'd taken it sooner they could've managed to get atop the Machina ruins, but now it was too late.

Rikku paced like a caged animal. She wanted to be there, to see what was going on. She hated not knowing. At this point she was chewing her nails like a fucking maniac on crack.

"Don't worry," Yuna was trying to calm her. "Everything will be okay."

Rikku shook her head nervously. "I don't think so. Something isn't right. I can _feel_ it."

"Hey, everyone, the water's receding!"

True, now the flood was washing out. The island was no longer sinking. The road to the village had turned to mud but that didn't keep the villagers from returning.

"Andrea?" Yuna called out. "…Oh God."

Rikku and Paine saw the look on her face and were confused at first. They then looked in the same direction as the High Summoner and understood.

Andrea held his hand tightly, feeling it getting colder. Her whole body was shaking, tears coming to her eyes as she looked down on her husband. He was lying there in the mud, soaking wet from the deluge, in a pool of his own blood. Despite his best attempt at the barrier the Wind Scar had penetrated it. It had nearly cut him in half, leaving a long, jagged wound from his shoulder to his hip. Needless to say he was dying, and very slowly at that.

She held his hand against her cheek, several tears escaping down her face, the ring on his finger colder than his skin. His eyes were half open and he looked upwards, blankly. Andrea watched helplessly as his life slowly ebbed from him. Dennis tried to speak. It was his last chance.

"…love you." That was it.

Andrea's breathing hastened. She just felt it, the life force left him. She began shaking her head furiously, refusing to believe that was it. She tried what she'd done before in Bevelle, rubbing hands together and raising them over his body.

Nothing was happening. She repeated the process at least a dozen frantic times only to get the same result. She finally stopped when the spirit of Ixion suddenly manifest, leaving his body behind. It disappeared into the night, leaving no trace but the small scar on Dennis' stomach. Her attempts ended after that. There was no getting him back.

Never before could she remember having cried so hard.

Authors' Note: SDB-Damn this chapter was long! Longest ever so far. Oh well, looks like there won't be a reception. Too bad, I was looking forward to pigs in a blanket and wine. Pouts. Bet Andrea's gonna be hella pissed now. Jamison Black is now officially on her shit list. Who knows what'll happen next chapter.


	12. Ignore the Smoke and Smile

**The Divine Comedy**  
**Chapter Twelve**  
**Ignore the Smoke and Smile**

The island had dried out over the past week and a half. By now it was hard to tell if there had been a flood at all. However, damages of that night were still being suffered. You couldn't see them, but when you entered the village you could feel them. Like a cold knife in your spine.

Yuna sat wordlessly, rocking back and forth with Lani sleeping in her arms. She looked troubled as she stared at the floor, not really present in reality at the moment. Tidus sat on the bed and watched her. Believe it or not he'd been affected by this too. Though there was still much of this he didn't understand it still influenced him.

"You should talk to her." He said suddenly.

Yuna looked at him silently at first. "She probably wants to be alone."

"She's alone enough as it is, isn't she? I mean, she wasn't even there for the Sending. No one has seen her in almost two weeks; something isn't right."

"You think?" she replied sarcastically. She shook her head, apologizing for snapping at him. "Maybe I should."

_(II)_

Andrea was lying there on the cold, damp floor of her hut. She hadn't slept in the bed since the night of the flood. Something just told her not to. An old defense mechanism perhaps. Now that I mention it, she hadn't slept at all.

She'd since gotten out of her relatively demolished wedding dress and returned to her blue jeans and cut off tee-shirt. She stared at the ceiling, rarely closing her eyes to even blink. Her body tingled with numbness, her mind had in a sense died. Her heart was beating painfully hard and unsteadily. The wound she'd received from Tetsusaiga remained untended, continuing to slowly bleed out onto the floor as she laid there. She didn't really care; it didn't hurt so much anymore anyway. It would twinge every now and then and she would grip the wine bottle in her hand until the ache passed. She'd horded all the spirits from the wedding, hoping it would dull the pain. Also her arm remained out of the socket, now looking purple and still very swollen.

Andrea felt useless. Why not? Even her power as the Phoenix didn't do anyone much good that night. She felt guilty, thinking she didn't try hard enough. True, she'd stopped the flood, saved lives, and in a way stopped a three-headed menace. But the cost was so greatly against her that none of it seemed worthwhile. On the day she prayed it would end, her curse flared back to life.

She didn't want to believe what Cerberus had told her that night. She didn't catch all of it as he fled, but it didn't take her long to understand what he'd said. It was something about the moon rising on a death; she couldn't remember much of it now. For all she knew she could have it backwards. Either way, whatever he had told her was true. Something was fatally different about the Wind Scar that night. The power in it denied her the choice of raising the dead. It left her powerless, robbing her of her jurisdiction over life.

She didn't want to believe it, and at first she didn't. That's why she refused not to try. Something told it was useless, but she didn't listen. It made the already hard truth that much harder. When the spirit of the Fayth left his body she knew it was over. Since that night she'd only been a shadow, and I mean that in almost every sense of the word.

The High Summoner let herself in and saw Andrea lying there, thinking her dead at first. She certainly looked that way. Her gaze honed in on the blood and she winced.

"Andrea? It's me,"

"I know," she swallowed. "How are you?"

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be." She replied flatly. "It's not like I'm going to bleed to death or anything."

Yuna saw the bottle in her hand and shook her head, feeling old regrets boiling back up inside her. She remembered what it was like to be clinging to life only because you were too wasted let go of it. It was a horrible way to be.

"Even if I did, at least I could tell God I didn't commit suicide with a straight face." She laughed mockingly. "Hell's got to be a better place than this."

"Don't say that!" she pleaded. "Please, Andrea,"

"Please _what_?" she sat up for the first time in hours, leaning against the side of the bed.

"Give yourself time, Andrea. It won't hurt like this forever,"

"_How would you know_!" she snapped. "You're so fucking happy with your life that you make me sick! How could you say that it won't hurt this way forever! You don't have damn clue!"

Yuna cringed and she looked at Andrea sadly. "You're not even mourning, are you?" she acted as if she already knew.

"Don't know how. Crying never solved anything…it won't bring him back. As far as I see it, my whole life has been nothing but a never ending boo-hoo ballad. All of this," she gestured with her hands, flinching at the pain in her arm. "Has been nothing but a waste. Its torn away everything…cheated me of my time. And for what? Not a god damned thing."

Yuna sighed and walked over to kneel down beside her. Andrea hung her head, refusing to acknowledge her further. The High Summoner put a hand on her shoulder, gently healing her injuries with her White Magic. There were a few loud popping noises, but that was the worst of it. She managed to pry the empty bottle out of her stiff hands and tossed it away.

"It's…it's like I'm not meant to be happy; like I'm supposed to be alone for the rest of my life. Lord only knows how long _that's_ going to be."

"But you're not alone," she protested. "You've got friends."

"Friends can't be lovers."

She had her there. That was true for the most part.

Andrea laid her head back, her eyes clenching to keep tears from escaping. Her breath trembled as she forced herself to calm down.

"Why," Yuna paused. "Didn't you go to the Sending?"

"Wasn't strong enough." Andrea replied. "I wouldn't have been able to stand it. I don't have the will to do much anything anymore. I just…don't."

"Surely there's _something_," she was trying to be optimistic.

Andrea was silent for a while, looking forward as if searching for something in thin air. She suddenly stood up, brushing some dirt off of her clothes.

"What is it?"

"Now that you mention it," Andrea said. "There _is_ something I want to do."

"That's great…what do you need the lance for?"

Andrea walked resolutely out of the hut and into the open. She had a very good idea of what to do with herself. She wanted to break the blade of her lance over Cerberus' cursed head. Whichever one it was that caused all this mess.

"Andrea, stop!"

"Don't try it, Yuna. I'm gonna kill him if it's the last thing I do." She continued walking, not seeing the High Summoner following her. "You don't have to agree with me."

"This is ridiculous! Dennis wouldn't have wanted this!"

"He's not here to say that, now is he?"

"_Andrea_!"

Finally she turned, having had enough of this nagging. She was about to verbally tear Yuna a new one when something struck her in the forehead. Her vision suddenly blurred and she fell, dropping the lance as she hit the ground. She reached up and touched the growing lump on her head, drawing back a speck of blood. Did the High Summoner, the slayer of Sin and destroyer of Vegnagun, just hit her with a rock? She did!

Yuna reached down and grabbed her roughly by the shirt, jerking her up to her feet and shaking her.

"You've lost your fucking mind, Andrea! This isn't the answer!" No Turret's in sight this time boys and girls. This is one hundred percent, FDA approved, Grade-A cursing. Go Yuna!

"Maybe it isn't _yours_, but its good enough for me," she replied.

"Listen to yourself! Don't you know what you sound like!" The High Summoner didn't have to say anymore, Andrea knew what she was referring to.

"So what? I'm already to blame for everything else; why not throw a little black fire in there to top it all off?"

Yuna slapped her hard in the face. Andrea looked back at her with mild surprise.

"You are _not_ to blame for this! It isn't the end of the world, dammit! Don't do this to yourself!"

Andrea tried to keep her expression firm but it did her little good. It was matter of seconds before her tolerance collapsed and she began crying. Yuna held her against her shoulder, offering her the support she knew she needed right now.

"Why!" she sobbed. "He was my _husband_, God dammit! Someone _has to pay_!"

"Everything will be all right," Yuna said softly. "It'll be okay.

_(III)_

Over the past week, Jamie had regained control over his body, though he didn't want to, because he had given Noct…himself…whatever, a sound beating, and he was feeling the aftermath. But it wasn't for too long, because it was already Dias' turn to take over. And hopefully Dias wouldn't go stir crazy and homicidal on anyone. Unlike _someone_ Jamie knew. What was nagging at Jamie the most is that he could remember everything Noct did, as though he had done it. He could remember fighting Andrea, and Noct telling her that ancient prophecy/rule thing.

'_When the sun sets on a life, the sun may yet again rise on it. But if the sun sets on a life and the moon rises, the sun can never reclaim it.'_

Basically what it means is that Andrea can revive the dead unless they're killed with a little bit of Moon Juju. Then, she's up the shit creek. And that's what happened with Dennis. Somehow, Noct had found a way to infuse the Wind Scar with some Moon Mojo, and now Dennis is pushing up daisies. For good. Jamie felt horrible after that happened. It may not have been him doing it, but he's the one that brought Tetsusaiga into this world. It's his fault that Dennis is dead. It's…

'_No. It's not my fault. Noct did it. He's responsible for everything.'_

'_**And damn proud of it!'**_

'_Can you say a single sentence without using profanity?'_

'**_Yes, I can.'_**

'…_I hate you.'_

'**_You need to pull that corn cob out of your ass, Jeevesy.'_**

'_Both of you shut up.'_

And they were silent. Jamie had stowed away on a ship leaving Besaid, and was now making his way up the Highroad, seemingly going nowhere. All Jamie knew was that he had to stop Noct from killing anyone again. If he made it to Bevelle, maybe he could find someone who knew how to contact Yuna. That's what he needed to do. Yuna might know how to fix it. Or maybe someone else would. Andrea, maybe, but he doubted she was in the mood to talk to him after…

In about four days, Dias would have full control, but Jamie wasn't worried. Between Dias and himself, Jamie was sure they…he…could make it to Bevelle before Noct had a chance to pop in for tea again. That was something he didn't want. Noct had promised not to hurt Rikku, but Jamie still didn't trust the bastard. He would kill for no reason. He killed Dennis for no reason.

'**_I assure you, there _is_ a method to my madness.'_**

'_Or is it madness to your method?'_

'**_You are so lucky I have no idea what that means.'_**

"'Method to your madness'" Jamie said, "means that what you're doing may seem insane, but there really is logical thought behind it. 'Madness to your method' means that you're method _is _madness. Dias is saying that you're a psychotic, blood-thirsty, homicidal, axe-murderer with a 1000 year old blood feud against the Phoenix."

'_Yes! Exactly! Except the whole ax-murder, homicidal maniac bit…'_

"Actually, that's what _I_ think of him."

'**_Can I punch you in the balls?'_**

'_Hmm, let me think a bout it.'_ Jamie paused for about half a second before saying…thinking…responding with (There! That fits.) '_How about "no", you freak.'_

'**_Hey, I'm not the one with a multiple personality disorder.'_**

Damn. Noct had him there. At least Noct wouldn't be jumping out any time soon. Jamie figured he had at least…eleven days to get to Bevelle before Noct started receiving more control. How many days had it taken last time? He remembered that he had been in Spira a week by the time he got to the Calm Lands and Bevelle was before that. It would take maybe six days to get there. Maybe less. Last time, they had to stop at the temples so Yuna could pray for the Aeons. Not to mention they had problems with Yuna being kidnapped by Seymour, and problems with the Al Bhed. It might take four days to get there. Good. The sooner he got to Bevelle, the sooner he could ask Yuna or someone for help.

_(IV)_

"What did you want to talk about, Daddy?" Rikku asked. Cid had called her to The Old Crate to talk in private. She still didn't know what he wanted to talk about.

"Rikku," he asked with a solemn look on his face. "That…that was your friend, Jamie, that trashed the wedding, wasn't it?"

Rikku was shocked. She had never expected this to come up. "I…I don't think so. He sounded different. He acted different. I don't think that was him."

"Well, Rikku, he's proven himself to be dangerous, nonetheless. I don't want you to have contact with him ever again, okay?"

"Pid, Vydran! E muja res!" Rikku shouted in Al Bhed.

"I know you do, Rikku. And I love you as well. I don't want you in danger." Cid paused for a few seconds, running a hand over his Turtle-Waxed dome, and said, "She was too shocked at the wedding to say it, but Jennifer spoke to me not long ago. And before you say anything, I already know she's my daughter. She told me that you and a few others already knew. She also told me that she recognized Black's voice. He was the one that raped her."

Rikku gasped and put her hands to her mouth. Now she _knew_ that Jamie wasn't himself. "That's impossible. He'd never do that!"

"I know you want to think that, Rikku, but I just can't trust him anymore. He's raped one of my daughters and left the other to take care of his child alone. Now," Cid now turned and placed his hands on Rikku's shoulders. "When I say this, I'm not saying it to punish you, but I'm just looking after Eve. I want you to marry Gippal."

"_WHAT?" _Rikku was pretty sure they heard that all the way in Luca. "I don't want to marry Gippal! I don't love him, I love Jamie!"

"Like I said, I'm not doing this to punish you. I just…I want Eve to have a father, is all."

"Then why not her _real father?"_

"I'm sorry Rikku. If you don't want to marry Gippal, then I'm sorry I have to do this." He straightened up and looked deeply into his daughter's eyes. "As stated in Al Bhed Law, Section Q, Sub-Section C, 'if the father of the Bride does not see the proposed Groom as worthy of his daughter's hand, he may choose a husband for her.' And I choose Gippal. You _have_ to marry him. E…E's kunno, Rikku."

Rikku's eyes were drowning in tears. She sobbed deeply into her father's chest, grabbing him by the shirt. When he tried to comfort her, she jerked away, a look of hatred in her eyes. "E RYDA OUI! E _RYDA _OUI! _How can you do this_? I HATE YOU!" Cid was about to speak, but Rikku bounded down the ramp of his airship and disappeared.

Rikku ran through Besaid village, crying her eyes out. This isn't fair, she thought. Why can't I marry Jamie? I love _him_, not Gippal. She kept running, putting as much distance between herself and her father as possible. She finally slowed down and lessened her crying by the time she got to the cliffs above the village. She sat down and looked out into the distance. Thinking of Jamie, no doubt.

"You okay, Rikku?"

She looked over and saw Shinra inspecting one of his Commspheres. Apparently, it had gotten wet when the island started sinking. He already had it mostly fixed.

"No. Daddy's making me marry Gippal. I hate him. I hate them both."

"I don't blame you. Gippal's an arrogant asshole."

"Hey," Rikku said, finally smiling a little bit. "You're just a kid, remember? You don't need to be using that kind of language."

"Sorry, _mother_." Hearing this, Rikku went back to sulk-mode. Mother…

"Did I say anything wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I'm fine."

"This has something to do with that guy, Jamie, right?"

She looked over at him and saw that he had the Commsphere held up to her. It was tuned to Moonflow. She saw a figure sitting next to the river, eating a piece of fruit from one of the trees. It was Jamie.

Rikku snatched the Commsphere from Shinra's hands and yelled, "Jamie!"

The figure jumped slightly and dropped his half-eaten piece of fruit into the river. He looked behind him and must have seen Rikku's face in the Commsphere, because he scrambled over to it as fast as he could, and peered into it.

"Rikku? Is that really you?"

"Yes, Jamie, it is." Rikku's eyes had begun to water again, but this time, they were tears of happiness.

"Rikku, I want you to know that it wasn't me that trashed the wedding and killed Dennis. It was…it was the Guardian."

"I know. I figured as much. I knew you could never do something like that. Why are you at Moonflow?"

"I _was_ making my way to Bevelle. I was hoping someone there might know how to contact Yuna. Or…Andrea. One of them might know how to help me."

"No, Jamie!" Rikku shouted. "The last thing you want to do is talk to Andrea. She won't hesitate to kill you. She's fucking mental! She won't think it through, just kill you."

"What do I do then?"

Rikku thought for a few minutes. "Wait there. I'll come to you."

_(V)_

Andrea still had a ghost of a headache from being hit with the rock. Or it could've been the mild hangover. She couldn't care at this point. True, Yuna could make her stop her from hauling ass and killing someone, but she'd be damned if the High Summoner would keep her from drinking. Not right now anyway. It'd been perhaps a day and a half or so since Yuna dissuaded her from the rampage, and her conversation with her made her make a decision.

It was late in the afternoon, the sun beginning to set. She left the village maybe a half hour ago, and it had taken her this long just to get halfway to the beach. She was stalling and she would admit it openly. She was afraid to go and follow through with her choice. For her own support she carried a full, forty ounce bottle of Kilikan Vodka. If she recalled correctly, this mess started nearly four years ago with alcohol. At the back of her mind she fancied that perhaps it could get her out of it, make her wake up and forget it all.

It took a lot of courage to ask Yuna where they'd buried him. The High Summoner didn't look at her when she said 'we put out of reach of high tide'. Andrea didn't need any details. She understood plain English well enough. The road to the coast had never seemed so long before.

When her bare feet touched sand she almost collapsed. The uncountable grains gave slightly beneath her weight, she nearly lost balance. I'm such a wreck, she said to herself. One big fucking mess trying to drown my sorrow in alcohol. Some Guardian I am.

It wasn't difficult to find the grave. Where else could you find a stone just big enough to trip over with engravings on it? If you can tell me I'll give you a cookie. She couldn't read what was written on it. Not just because her vision was slightly blurred with Vodka, but it was in Al Bhed and she never learned to. She could speak it with a little effort, but reading it was a different story.

She stood there for the longest time, just staring at it with her fists clenched tightly. If he were here she would give him such an earful. If he were here…

Andrea dropped to her knees, her muscles having given up on her, the grief overwhelming her again. Tears rolled hot down her cheeks, she tried to choke them back but just didn't have the ability anymore. She felt like she was dying slowly on the inside. She wished it just hurry the fuck up and get it over with. She took a long, guzzling drink from the bottle, some of it spilling out of the edge of her mouth. Her whole body was shaking.

"You liar," she stammered. "You fucking liar." And she took another drink, feeling it setting her insides alight with the infamous burning.

"You…y-you said you'd always be there." She was so hammered she couldn't even walk on her own two feet. She had to crawl if she wanted to go anywhere.

Andrea clutched the sand tightly in one hand, the grains like warm sandpaper tearing at the skin on her palms. She fell over the first time but finally managed to stand. She pointed a stern finger at the lifeless stone.

"You said I wasn't alone!" She was screaming at it, tears streaming harder. "You _left me_, you son of a bitch! _You left me_!" Somehow she was convinced he could hear her yelling. As honest to God as the gold ring still on his finger.

This incessant, drunken rage went on until dark. She paced clumsily around the grave, pointing fingers and yelling as hard as she could. Her voice would start to break and she'd take another drink, making her stupor that much worse. After perhaps two hours she finally gave the headstone a half-assed kick, probably breaking a toe and falling, swearing up a storm as what remained of the alcohol spilled.

She used her hands to sit up again, leaning back against the rock marker. Finally, after hours of rambling, she just broke down and cried. She draped her arms over her knees and let it go.

"Why did you leave me?" she sobbed. "My God it isn't fair!"

She cried for a long time, wearing herself out. By the end of it she was lying down in the sand, her head on the nearly empty bottle. She finished what was left of it, throwing it off to God knows where. She shifted a little and rested her head on the stone perhaps feeling a little comforted by it.

Andrea clumsily wiped the tears from her face, her limbs about useless with drunkenness. She swallowed hard with a shrug and looked up at the star studded sky with half open eyes.

"I'm so lost without you, Dennis." She was speaking more softly now. "Why couldn't it have been _me_? I deserve to die, not you." She cried a little more. "Sorry I wasn't at the Sending. I just…I wasn't strong enough, and I'm so sorry."

She felt herself getting tired, her head weighing about three tons heavier now. Her heart was in shambles and it was as if she had no will left. Honestly, wouldn't you feel like this if you were her, if you had lost your husband of…not even twenty-four hours?

"I'll get him," she slurred. "I'll get him for you…three-headed c-cock sucker."

She passed out after that, sleeping there all night in the cold ocean air.

_(VI)_

It was night and Jamie was in the same spot he was in when Rikku contacted him. He heard a whooshing sound overhead and spotted Rikku's airship. It came to a hover over the lake and a ramp came out of the back. Rikku ran down it, jumped onto land, and ran into Jamie's arms. They stood like that for a long time, just enjoying being in each other's arms after so long. They finally pulled back and looked into each others eyes. Jamie stared into her swirling green eyes, intrigued at how they brightened by the moonlight overhead. Of course he would be drawn to the moonlight, considering what he was now.

"I've missed you so much, Rikku."

"Missed you more."

They kept looking into each others eyes and eventually the both leaned towards each other and pressed their lips together. They held the kiss out for a couple minutes, before breaking it and pulling their bodies together again.

"I want you to know that I had nothing to do with…" Jamie started.

"I know," Rikku interrupted. "You didn't do anything."

"I'm glad you believe me, Rikku."

They broke their embrace and began walking along the Moonflow, hand in hand. They stared out at the Moon Lilies on the water, the Pyreflies gathering above them, creating a dazzling display. They eventually sat next to the water, Rikku resting her head against Jamie's chest, his arms around her. From the way she was fidgeting, Jamie could tell something was bothering her.

"Is there something wrong, Rikku?"

She paused a second, thinking about what she should say. Then she just blurted out, "Daddy wants me to marry Gippal."

"What?" Rikku looked up into Jamie's face and saw a mix of fury and confusion in it.

"Daddy thinks you're responsible for Dennis' death, and you…whatever had control of you that night…raped Jennifer."

"That Goth clone of you?" When Rikku nodded, he said, "I…remember. I remember every bit of it as though I had done it…"

"But you _didn't_, and that's what matters. Daddy feels he can't trust you, so he wants me to marry Gippal."

"But it doesn't make sense. He thinks I killed someone and then raped a girl he barely knows. Why would he want you to marry Gippal?"

Rikku started to tense up. Should she tell him about Eve? Something told her that she shouldn't. "He just doesn't want me to get hurt. That's all. And because of some stupid Al Bhed law, I'm being _forced_ to marry Gippal."

Jamie was silent for a while, letting all of it sink in. Rikku cried lightly into his shirt as he thought it over. It's not fair, she thought. Does Daddy want me to be safe or happy? Because I'm happy with Jamie. She closed her eyes and thought back to when they first met. She remembered beating the shit out of him, and then kicking him after he looked up her shorts. That was back when she was more covered. Hard to imagine, huh? But despite their rough firts meeting, here they were.

She was swept out of her thoughts as Jamie shifted out from under her. She got off of him, making it easier for him to move. When all was said and done, Rikku was on her knees, and Jamie was kneeling in front of her. He took her hands in his and stared into her eyes.

"How can you marry him if you're already married?" Rikku was a little confused, but eventually figured out what was to come. "Rikku, will you marry me?" It wasn't like he hadn't broken the law before.

Rikku's eyes flooded with tears again. That seems to be happening a lot today. When she tried to answer the first time, it came out as a near-inaudible squawk. But she eventually managed to answer.

"Yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

He pulled her into his arms and they embraced under the moonlight. He pulled away from her and asked, "Now all we need is find someone willing to officiate a low-budget wedding to-go."

"Did someone say wedding? Oh, I simply _love_ weddings! I always cry at them though, but it's always worth it worth it worth it!" a voice said seemingly in one breath.

"What the hell was that?" Jamie asked.

"Oh, God," Rikku grumbled as she slapped her head into her hand. "Not Tobli…"

"Who's Tobli?"

"Why _I'm_ Tobli, my good man!" cried a man shorter than Shinra. He was wearing what Jamie hoped was a hat that made him _look_ like he had a beak. Yeah, hopefully this guy doesn't really have a beak.

"I'd be glad to marry the two of you and…oh, where are my manners?" He cleared his throat before saying, "Welcome to Tobli's House of Entertainment! And Discount Weddings, for a limited time only, while supplies last. And they are CHEAP-CHEAP-CHEAP! 100 Gil a couple. Plus tax, tag, title, and dealer installed options if any. But for a Gullwing, I'll do it for FREE-FREE-FREE! It may hurt business slightly, but anything to repay a friend in need! Indeed!"

"Does this guy have a mute button?" Jamie whispered.

"I wish he did…"

"Should we accept?"

"I think we should. If we do it in Luca or Bevelle, someone will find out about it. Maybe it's best we get married in private."

"Alright then." Jamie turned to Tobli and said, "We'd like to get married here, if you don't mind."

"Of course not! Marvelous! Stupendous! Splendiferous! I _am _a registered officiator with the order of New Yevon, you know. So I am perfectly capable of giving you a _deluxe _wedding. But I believe I'll give you the abridged, on-the-go, drive-thru version since you seem to be in such a hurry." Rikku and Jamie stood side-by-side in front of the…'priest' as he cleared his throat.

"Do you, young man, take this woman, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. etc. 'til death do you part?"

"I do," Jamie said as he looked to Rikku.

"And you madam. Same question."

"I do," Rikku answered as she looked into Jamie's eyes.

"By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you man and wife. Anno Domini, E Nomine, Corpus Invictus, Habeas Corpus, and Mazel-Tov! You may kiss the bride!"

And he did. They kissed each other more passionately than they ever had before. And when Tobli left, they both walked to a part of the Moonflow that Rikku assured Jamie no one came to that often. And by the light of the Pyreflies and the moon, they consummated their marriage.

When all was said and done, Jamie pulled his dust coat over the two of them, looking into his wife's eyes. He couldn't help but feel like the luckiest man in the world and a little guilty at the same time. He killed Dennis, Andrea's husband, and here he was, married and happy. If Andrea found out, she'd kill him. She'd rip out his tongue and hang him with it. Most certainly.

But if he was going to die, he at least wanted to enjoy his last days. He pulled Rikku to him and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her chin in the crook of his neck and sighed into his skin. He felt like he was on top of the world. Until he felt Rikku shift her head and run her fingers over his tattoo.

"This is new. When'd you get it?"

Oh shit.

Authors' Note: SDB- Well, looks like things are going down hill fast. I might as well just start calling Andrea "Yeager" instead. Or maybe even Guinness or Smirnoff. Either way, let's just keep in mind that she's working on the record of being the first human to be internally pickled by alcohol. There's no telling what'll happen next chapter.

FDB- I hate pickles. They are a tool of the devil. Like Shrooms. I refuse to eat anything that closely related to Athlete's Foot.


	13. I See Fallen Angels

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Thirteen  
I See Fallen Angels**

I don't care who you think you are _I'm_ telling you right now that there is life after death. What it consists of is entirely up for speculation of course, but just work with me here. Yes, you too, Atheists.

His memory was relatively intact. There were only a few things he couldn't recall. It was bits and pieces, flashes of what he at first thought was just a dream. It was like he was seeing moments in someone's life from the beginning. After a long time of having these and contemplating, he realized it was his own. He saw his childhood, his parents' death, his time in the temples training to be a White Mage, and so much more. The Phoenix, black or otherwise stood out prominently in these images. He saw a woman, kissing her, holding her at night, making love to her, and putting a ring on her finger. After that he saw his own death, remembering the mind numbing pain. Lastly, he could just vaguely remember someone screaming at him, calling him a fucking liar. It must've been dreams for he woke from them. However it was in no place he could recognize. Not immediately.

Dennis looked around, the universe surrounding him. There were planets, stars, entire galaxies everywhere. Now he knew this place. It was the Astral Plane. How in the hell did he get here? Well, he knew he was dead, but don't souls normally go to the Farplane?

"Your soul came here instead of the Farplane."

Dennis turned his head to see who spoke. He could almost recollect back to when he'd seen the Dragon before. It walked on the empty space towards him, standing next to him and then sitting on its haunches. It had to have been at least five feet taller than him, and that was with its neck bent. Its scales were dark velvet blue and the leathery skin of its wings was white.

"Why?"

"There was no need for us to go there."

"_Us_?"

The Dragon shrugged. "I suppose it is time I told you. You see, the main reason why you didn't go to the Farplane is because only _human_ souls may go there."

Dennis thought for a moment. "What are you saying…that I'm not?"

"We are one in the same. Unlike the others I do not inhabit a body, I _am_ a body."

"But…but what about all of my memories…my thoughts…where they even mine?"

"Ours. I have a feeling what you're getting at and I will tell you I made no influence upon your decisions, as they were _my_ decisions as well. I know it must be hard, but please try to understand."

Dennis grimaced and thought hard about the whole thing. He had to admit that it was rather extravagant. Not to mention the fact that it just flat out didn't make any sense. What was this supposed to mean? Was his entire life up until now just a lie? No, it couldn't have been. How is it he never knew? This was so much information he thought his head was going to explode. If that was even possible at this point. I think you could call that overkill.

"So," Dennis shrugged. "I'm really dead?"

The Dragon nodded. "In a sense. Guardians cannot die, so you're more or less…how could I put this," he paused to think. "You're body has ceased to function, but you're not dead per say. You _could_ say that you're just in a state of suspended life."

"How could that be?"

"You see, we Guardians were never quite alive to begin with. We just began to exist one day many, many, many centuries ago. In any case, with your body being _mine_ as well, it can't be killed."

"That's the only thing I do not understand." Dennis said.

"Dennis, you and I are of one mind. We exist together as a single consciousness, but in two different parts. You see, you're not possessed by a spirit, you _are_ the spirit. I believe some humans call it Duality."

"Explain it to me. Start from the beginning."

"It's a very long story." The Dragon cautioned.

"It's not like I'm going anywhere." He shrugged with a hint of depression.

"Well, if you insist." The Guardian cleared his throat before beginning.

From what The Dragon said, it was he and the other four Guardians that created Spira and its people. That was relatively old news. However, as the story continued he was slowly surprised a time and again. Before he explained the reason why the Guardians separated in the first place, he elaborated on what they stood for as individual entities.

As most everyone and their uncle knows the Phoenix stood for life and death. However it was new to find out that the Phoenix created the Farplane itself. And from the Phoenix came the origin of knowledge.

Dennis didn't know much about the Seraphim, though he'd heard of it. According to the Dragon she created the world of Spira, the very ground that the people walked on. She gave shape to the physical forms of humans. She was said to be purity incarnate.

The Dragon explained himself to have little to do with creation, only that he played a small role in the development of the human race. Emotion itself was his contribution to it, being the paragon of it himself.

Lastly he tried to explain Cerberus, which was much harder than one might think. His part in the creation was bestowing free will upon the people, giving them choice.

"After a few hundred years, Cerberus became angry at how the humans used his gift for ill. He told us all that we'd made a mistake and should start over. Needless to say few of us agreed with him. Before we could further discuss it Sin came along. Our followers called to us for help and we fought Sin. We almost lost, but we didn't quite snag a victory either. The center head that controlled the other sides of Cerberus was destroyed in the battle, and the rest of us were weakened. We had no choice but to leave the world to regain our strength."

"How is it that the others are being possessed-so to speak-but you were born as me?"

"We took different paths. For one reason or another we were separated. Seraphim disappeared once she had hidden her sword while Cerberus followed Phoenix to the Farplane. I went there eventually but I never saw them. From there I waited a millennia, and once I was strong enough I left the Farplane as a spirit and reincarnated myself into a human." he said. "You."

Okay, many things were beginning to make sense now. But it wasn't like it was going to do him any good anyway.

"Sun, moon, Earth, and stars," Dennis said to himself. "It's coming together."

"I had hoped it would." The Dragon replied, giving a bit of toothy grin. Boy, did he had some teeth on him.

"Are the legends true?" he asked suddenly.

"Most likely, however there are hundreds of them so I can't tell you for certain unless you elaborate for me."

"Do I really love Andrea…or is it you and Phoenix?"

"Dennis, if your love for her was any more your own it would swallow the universe whole." Dragon laughed. "Yes, it is true that Phoenix and I were involved, but in a different sense as humans would consider. So you have nothing to fear; your feelings for her are genuinely yours. However your bond with her is through Phoenix and I, and the fact that you care for her so greatly only makes it stronger."

Dennis nodded his head. That was a relief. Could dead people feel anxious? Well, if Dragon was right he wasn't dead. So I suppose it is true. He figured it was like that time his spirit was separated from his body when he was inside Andrea's head. After making that analogy it made more sense to him.

"Why is Cerberus doing all of this? Do you know?"

"I suppose he still thinks we need to try again at the creation thing. He's very adamant about his decisions, especially after he found out about how Sin came to be."

"What did Phoenix have to do with it?"

"Yu Yevon wanted eternal life and Phoenix refused, so he created Sin to get back at them. Cerberus was furious, saying it was all the more reason to wipe the slate clean and try again. The rest of us wouldn't have it. We couldn't resolve it as you know."

"I see. So now what am I to do…we?"

"For now all we can do is wait."

"So I can go back?"

"Just not now. We have to wait until the right time. Soon enough the planet, the sun, the moon, and a particular star will be in direct alignment."

"Cripes," he shrugged in frustration. "I wish I wasn't the only one who knew this."

"They'll figure it out, don't worry."

"I'm inclined to agree, but I can't help but wonder,"

"What?"

"Will she be okay without me?" The Dragon couldn't answer.

_(II)_

Someone was calling her name in a muffled voice. It was echoing in her pounding head. When someone smacked her half heartedly in the face her eyes started to open. The light stung her eyes and everything was blurred for the longest time.

"Hey, Samuel Adams, wake up."

Andrea pulled an arm across her eyes and opened them all the way. God, what time is it? Her vision slowly cleared and she blinked.

"Paine…what the hell are you doing here?" she asked groggily. "Is that my hat?"

"Just until I can get rid of this damned pink color. Besides, I could ask you the same thing."

"I was…was taking care of a few things." She attempted to sit up, feeling her stomach lurch. "Oh _shit_," she held onto her stomach as if to keep it from falling out.

"Need to hurl?"

"And then some," she groaned. "Yuna send you?"

"What was your first clue?"

"Because you'd sooner leave me to my own devices. You ever so graciously just don't give two fucks."

"You have a point. Anyway, Yuna just sent me to see if you were okay."

"Why didn't she come herself?" she finally managed to stand up.

"She was on the Commsphere last I checked, apparently Rikku just got up and left on the Pickle last night. I think she's on the wire to try and find her."

"What would make her bug out like that?"

"I dunno, but something pissed her off. I heard her yelling at Cid last night and that's about it. By the sounds of it he's trying to force her to marry."

"Come again?" Andrea's blood shot eyes became wide.

"At least I think so."

"Marry who?"

"Who do you think?" she crossed her arms.

Andrea threw up. "Oh God, not him!" she sputtered. "Cid's fucking mad!"

"You're telling me. I told Yuna, she thinks we should look for her."

"Hey I just barfed on an anthill…cool. I think they're pissed. Anyway, so we got an airship?"

"Cid left this morning, and Gippal's gone too…so I'd say no." Paine cringed.

"Baralai left too, and without you? Damn well, I was just wondering. I can get us around."

"You think you should? It's not against the law but I wouldn't recommend flying under the influence."

"No," she burped. "I think the exorcise will do me good. Also, we should probably bring your other sisters in on this."

"Why?"

"I don't know if you've noticed but our numbers just seem to get thinner and thinner. I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get."

"I guess so…if you insist I'll get a hold of Celeste. Jennifer is still around here somewhere I think. Either way, I'll see what I can do." Paine agreed. "You think you can make it back to the village on your own?"

"It's not that I can or can't, it's just that I should. The more I move the better I'll feel."

"If you say so."

Andrea made it back to the village eventually. She threw up perhaps two more times before that. She made a mental note not to drink like that again for at least twenty-four hours. Somehow, however, she knew she would do double that amount by the time the time period was over.

Yuna watched Andrea as she stumbled into her hut. She followed her inside.

"You okay?" she asked cautiously.

"I'm nauseous, have a splitting headache, and so depressed that I make Lulu look like Barney the Dinosaur…aside form that I'm doing pretty good." Andrea replied flatly.

"Well, I can't say I know this Barney character, but if you're in a better mood than yesterday then I'm glad."

"Yes, ecstatic. Are you going to come with us? We're going to go look for Ri-Ri."

"I was thinking about it; perhaps it would be best. I don't like the idea that Cid's forcing her into marriage, it's just not like him."

"None of us have been like ourselves lately," she shoved something into her old canvas backpack. "In case you haven't noticed."

Yuna shrugged. She was right. "So how do you expect us to find her? By the time the next ferry comes she could be ages away."

"We won't need the ferry. I'll take us. And yes, I'm sure. It'll save us time."

"I was just thinking that you've been under a lot of stress."

"What, you think it wouldn't be safe? Never mind, don't answer that. Look, I need to get around and being stuck here is driving me crazy. It'll be okay, don't worry."

Paine suddenly walked in. "Hey, Andrea, I've got Celeste on the Commsphere; she said just tell her where and she could meet with us."

"Tell her we'll pick her up in Luca." Paine nodded and left again.

"You make it sound so easy." Yuna said, shaking her head.

"All we have to do is find Rikku's airship. It's a fucking hunk of metal the size of the Florida Pan Handle-how could you miss it?"

"The _what_? Speak Spiran, _please_!"

"Fine, about the size of Guadosalam, better?"

"Thank you. But I do see that you have a point. So who in all is coming with us?"

"I think it's just you, Paine, and Celeste. I haven't seen Jennifer anywhere so I don't know. Did she leave with Cid?" she twitched slightly.

"She might have, I haven't been keeping track of her. Why would she leave with Cid?"

"No reason, just thinking," it came out almost too quickly.

_(III)_

"What's with the hat, little sis?" Celeste crossed her arms and grinned.

"_Littler_ sis decided to pull a prank. Don't read into it."

"Where is the little monster anyway?"

"I'm sure she's fine wherever she is. So you ready?" Paine really just wanted to get on with it. Her eldest sister wouldn't restrain from pushing all of her "piss me off" buttons if given the chance.

"How did you guys get here anyway, the next ferry isn't due until tomorrow?"

The three of them looked at the Black Mage strangely, as if surprised that she couldn't figure it out.

"Let's just go, we're burning daylight." Andrea shrugged roughly.

Celeste was impressed by the Phoenix and found it interesting that humans could change their shape that way. She'd never heard of it being possible. Paine gave her the abridged version of an explanation. Within minutes they were airborne and passing over the Highroad.

"Just out of curiosity, have you heard from Artemis lately?" Celeste was speaking to Paine.

"Not for a while now. Not for four months at least."

"I was just wondering."

They watched as the world passed below them. The Highroad, Mushroom Rock, and the edge of Djose were just blinks of an eye. On the horizon where the forests surrounding the Moonflow. Within seconds of having them in sight Yuna pointed towards them, saying she could see the airship. To be safe Andrea landed just outside of the Moonflow's boundaries and transformed back to her old self, out of the reach of any unwanted eyes.

They caught sight of _The Pickle_ just off the banks, its ramp lowered and the doors wide open. There was no sign of Rikku anywhere so they just figured she was on board. The doors were open so they didn't bother knocking.

By the looks of things on the inside there was no one home.

"Bird Lady!" Eve came running out of the corridor and hugged Andrea tightly around the legs.

"Hey squirt," for the first time in a while she smiled and picked the kid up and set her on her hip."

"Who's this?" Yuna asked.

Oh, Andrea thought; she must not have told her yet. I'll keep her cover.

"Kid lost her parents and Rikku took her in." Andrea lied. "Calls her mom. So where's your mom, kiddo?"

"She's walking with puppy," Eve replied. "She'll be back later she said."

"Hey," Celeste walked up behind Andrea. "This kid's got some talent in her; let me have her for a bit?"

"Hey, are you dead?" Eve asked innocently. "You look dead."

"She's very blunt, Celeste, just so you know." Andrea smiled again.

Paine was snickering as Celeste tried her best not to lose her temper.

"I can see that, but that's fine. I suppose I _could_ go for a tan."

"Sis, if you stood in front of an open fridge you'd burn," Paine said with a slight giggle.

"Can it, pickle puss." Paine turned so red it rivaled her hair color in intensity. Andrea thought she would die if she let her laughter out.

"Why don't you go with Aunt Celeste for a bit while we wait for you mom, okay squirt?" Andrea set her down, trying to look beyond that contagious pout Eve was giving her. She finally agreed and took Celeste by the hand.

"I hate it when she does that," Paine growled low as her sister walked off.

"Hell what are sisters for if not to annoy the living piss out of you?" Andrea asked with a sarcastic smirk.

"I wish I knew."

"That girl's pretty young," Yuna said. "She almost _looks_ just like Rikku."

"I noticed that." Andrea felt her heart jump a little.

Talk of the girl suddenly ceased when they heard voices from the corridor of the exit ramp. Rikku had returned undoubtedly, but she wasn't alone. That's right, Eve said she was with the dog…

Rikku and Jamison entered the bridge and it seemed like time itself had stopped. Everyone's eyes fell on them and everything was still for what seemed like a short eternity. Both Rikku and Jamie's faces went white. Yuna and Paine were surprised to see Black again. If I had to tell you what was showing on Andrea's face I'd have to kill you for your sheer retardation.

Andrea's eyes settle on Jamie and almost immediately she showed a flash fire of anger. She took a firm grip on her lance and was aiming to split him down the middle. Yuna and Paine almost saw this coming and grabbed a hold of her. Rikku jumped in front of Jaime, putting herself up as a shield.

"Let me go, I'm going to fucking kill him!" Andrea roared. She pulled and struggled against the two women who kept a surprisingly secure grip on her.

"Andrea please, don't be angry! It wasn't his fault!" Rikku pleaded.

"Like _hell_ it wasn't! He killed my husband and now I'm going to rip his God damned spine out and beat him with it!"

With one powerful jerk she pried herself loose and raised the lance over her head. She brought it down hard, knowing she'd hit Black even though Rikku was standing there. If she aimed just right, she would hurt her.

Rikku threw up her arms and crossed them, the hilt of the lance's blade being caught and bringing the weapon's descent to a sudden stop. She flinched as metal struck the bones in her wrists. Andrea continued to push down. Jamie would've moved or even said something in his own defense if he didn't feel silenced with his feet glued to the floor. Even if he _did_ run, Andrea would catch him anyway.

"Rikku…_move_…_out_…_of my way_!" she growled.

"Andrea, don't hurt him!"

"Why the hell not! He deserves it! Besides, he won't feel a thing once he's _dead_!"

"Because he's _my_ husband!" she cried.

Andrea's face remained angry, but took on pain and shock as well. She lowered her lance, her grip shaking until she dropped it. It made a loud clang as it struck the hard metal floor.

"W-what?"

"Yes," Rikku took a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart. "Jamie and I are married now."

Andrea looked at her, tears swelling in her eyes, with a countenance that made her look like she'd just been betrayed. Her mouth hung open and her lip trembled. She felt the urge just to scream at Rikku, call her a traitor. She felt as if the Al Bhed was using her bond of friendship as a shield, and it was working. Rikku knew Andrea would never do anything to hurt her.

"Andrea, please…just let me explain."

Andrea shook her head, her expression becoming fierce again. "No. No, I don't want to hear it." She then looked at Paine and Yuna. "I think you guys can get alone well enough now _without_ me."

Andrea grabbed what remained of her belongings and headed for the still open exit ramp. As she passed them she gave the newlyweds one last death glare, staring Jamie straight in the face before leaving for good.

_(IV)_

Jamie watched Andrea walk away, feeling even more guilt than he had before. He turned back to Rikku and noticed that her wrists were bleeding. He reached out to help her but Paine stepped in his way, trying to look menacing, and failing with a strand of pink hair sticking out from under the hat. Yuna healed Rikku's wrists and turned back to Jamie, a hurt expression on her face.

"Yuna," Jamie said, stepping forward. Paine growled and he decided that he better stay back. "Yuna, you know I wouldn't kill anyone. What reason would I have for killing Dennis? I can assure you: I didn't kill Dennis, nor did I rape that girl."

Paine's eyes went wide and she slammed Jamie into the wall, right hand on her sword, left hand around Black's throat.

"_You_ raped Jennifer! You _raped my little sister_!" she cried, rare tears outlining her eyes.

"I just said I _didn't_ rape her!" Jamie said in a strangled voice.

"Why should I believe you?" Paine cried, raising her sword to his neck.

"**Because he's telling the truth." **Paine raised an eyebrow when she heard Black's voice change, as well as referring to himself in the second-person. **"He didn't rape her. _I _did."**

"But you're…what's going on here?" Yuna was just as confused as everyone else.

"**Now, I'd appreciate if you'd let me breathe."** Noct grabbed Paine's arm and twisted it over, bringing the warrior to her knees.

"Noct," Jamie said in his normal voice, a look of worry on his face. "Let her go."

"**Make me!" **Jamie demanded in his new voice. His facial expression had changed from worried to hysterical in a split-second.

With his other hand, Jamie grabbed his own head and slammed it into the wall a couple of times. While he was doing this, his grip had loosened enough for Paine to get free, and watch Black beat himself up. When he finally noticed that Paine was free, he tried walking over to her, but jerked to a stop when his left leg stopped moving. He looked back at it and started pulling. Some unseen force was preventing Black from moving across the bridge.

"**Give me the leg, Jamie-boy!" **Noct demanded.

"It's not me holding you back."

"**Dammit, Jeeves! Give me the fucking leg!"**

"Why?" Jamie asked in a weird accent. "So you can kill someone else that doesn't deserve death?"

"**Dammit! Damn you both!"**

"What's going on here?" Paine asked.

"**_Not now!"_** Jamie seemed to yell in three different voices at once. But it came out as more of a growl.

"Why's puppy growling?"

Yuna, Rikku, Paine, and Jamie/Noct/Dias looked to the entrance to the bridge and saw Eve with her hand in Celeste's. Eve's hair was done up in two braids, no doubt done by Celeste. Who woulda thought Paine's family could, or even would, braid hair?

But seeing this must have given Jamie some incentive to pull himself together, because he suddenly groaned, slammed his head into the wall one more time, and fell to his knees. Eve laughed and ran up to Jamie, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Puppy's funny!" she shouted.

"Yeah, kid. Puppy's feeling a whole lot better."

"Run along, Eve," Rikku said, ushering the girl out of the bridge. When she was finally gone, she turned back to Jamie to find him sitting with his back against the wall, staring into space.

"Jamie," she said. "What was that? What's happening to you?"

"I don't really know myself. It's all happening so fast. I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that it wasn't me that killed Dennis. It was this other fucker in my head: Noct. He's insane."

"**Which is all a matter of opinion, if you ask me," **Noct said through Jamie.

"And I didn't ask you, fuck nut."

"We need to help you," Yuna said. "But first we need to find Andrea and explain to her that you weren't responsible for Dennis' death. You may be a little…violent at times, but you're not a murderer."

Jamie's expression hardened. Maybe it was time he told them the truth. He leaned forward, pulling his jacket away from his neck, and showed Paine and Yuna the tattoo on the back of his neck. He never expected it to last this long, seeing as how it was cheap prison ink, but it was still there. Probably because Andrea said it was the mark of the Cerberus.

"I lied to you, Rikku," he finally said. "I didn't get drunk at a party and wake up with this tattoo. I…I got it in prison."

"When did you go to prison?" Yuan asked,

"I was there six months before I came here. You and Rikku remember me telling you about Stephanie, right?"

Of course they remembered, but Paine had never heard the story. So Jamie was forced to tell his sad tale again. When he finished, he added on that he met the man responsible for her death a few years later, and killed him and two of his buddies. He told them about prison, Bubba, the tattoo, and finally Twitchy. He told about his escape and how he got to Spira.

"So, Yuna, I _am_ a murderer. A convicted felon. A criminal on the lam."

"But that doesn't matter, now," Paine said. "Sounds to me like those assholes that killed that girl deserved death."

"My thoughts exactly. Either way, whether they deserved it or not they're still dead. Point being is that I had a reason to snuff them…but not Dennis…there was no sense in that." He shook his head.

"Andrea knows this better the four of us put together. Where do you suppose she went?"

"She couldn't have gotten too far," Yuna said. "Let's start looking while it's still light out."

Authors' Notes: SDB-Jim Carry doesn't have shit on Jamie's split persona problem. However I'd be willing to second guess that assumption if he spontaneously decides to take a dump in his neighbors yard. But then again, that's just me. Next chapter…do you even want to know?


	14. Salt Enters the Wound

**The Divine Comedy  
Chapter Fourteen  
Salt Enters the Wound**

The rain in the Thunder Plains only seemed to get colder and heavier. The thunder occurred in rapid succession, the claps that followed roaring and rib rattling. It was perfect to suit her mood. She was pissed, sad, feeling betrayed and vengeful, like the thunder she wanted to strike and then leave nothing but a black, smoking stain in her wake, never to be seen again.

Andrea felt alone. Her spirit hurt, her sense of trust was injured, just like her mood. She didn't care that the wind and rain was wearing away at her, making her skin sore from being buffed about. It was even red in some places with the skin peeling. Had she been sitting there that long? Well, it had been a couple of days. Who cares, time didn't seem to matter to her anymore. Day and night made little difference, it was just the motion of the planets going about their normal way. She envied them for a moment. Why couldn't her life have a normal course? Why did it have to suck so much? It wasn't fair. What had she done that had been so wrong?

She was sitting at the foot of one of the lightning towers, just letting the rain come down, making her clothes stick to her with the buckets of water. Lightning cracked over her head, she didn't even flinch. She was deaf to it. For a long time now her senses had died. Like she had a switch and just decided to turn them off. Who cared anymore? Apparently she had no friends to give a flying fuck. She figured their own happiness was more important these days. That's okay…she didn't need anyone. She didn't have anything else to live for. Fuck being a Guardian. She was done with it. People could live and die well enough on their own without her. Hell, Dennis certainly had no problem.

She began to cry again.

Andrea sucked up the tears. It was no longer the time for that bullshit. She reached into her soaking backpack. She'd stashed liquor in there when Yuna wasn't looking. Not to mention some old…insurances from back when she was still an addict. She yanked the cork out of the bottle and threw it away, taking a deep gulp from it. It burned at first, bringing the soothingly mild pain.

Andrea reached in deeper and pulled out a little orange bottle. It had at least a dozen pills still in it, now several years old. She tore off the cap and poured a couple into her hand. She tossed them into her mouth and swallowed them with another mouthful of alcohol. Within maybe ten minutes her head began to feel light. She took another pill. Hell, it wasn't like she'd die from an overdose. Within the next fifteen more minutes she'd taken all of the capsules, the liquor now half gone.

What a mess.

Her mouth was dry and her limbs tingled. She was mellowing out, but not enough. She reached into her bag again, hoping what she was looking for was still there. It was a little wet, but not so much that it was a waste. There was a hole in the plastic bag that it was kept in so some of the rain water got to it. It was about the size of a Cuban cigar, but it wasn't rolled tobacco, I can assure you of that.

Somehow she managed to find a lighter that worked and lit the joint, taking a long drag of it. Yes, she was drugged enough to run a pharmacy, but who gives a damn? Like before she was taking care of _her_ problems _her_ way. Not like anyone else was gonna do it for her. She sang to herself quietly as she got high.

_Breath, trust, bless me and release_

_Climb, hard or never be seen_

_Closed off rescue to breathe_

_Just bless me_

_Two sided time_

_Your rebirth can't hurt_

_Branch out behind_

_The pain_

_Closure has come to me myself_

_You will never belong to me_

_Had to turn and lay down_

_You're the sting of disease_

_Phase you out should've seen this coming_

_Go on confusing this soul_

_Hold my breath 'til you rupture_

_Three days aside_

_Your rebirth can't hurt_

_Branch out behind_

_Pride_

_Closure has come to me myself_

_You will never belong to me_

_Like a Leach_

_I hold on as if we belonged_

_To some precious pure dream_

_Cast off you've seen what's beneath_

_Now fail me_

_Forget closure_

_Closure has come to me myself_

_You will never belong to me_

_So breathe_

Andrea managed to make the Marijuana last for a whole hour. It gave her the munchies but it was strange considering she wasn't hungry at all. She had no appetite. Could she starve to death? I think it was funnier that she was still able to smoke considering how much of a coma she was in. Those pills still kicked your ass no matter how out of date they were. The booze was gone, the empty bottle now collecting rain water.

She lied back against the lightning tower, her body now limp and her mind a blob in her skull. She couldn't tell up from down or black from white anymore. It was just a blur, a fever dream that seemed nightmarishly real. She couldn't escape life.

'**_You return to your old ways.'_** Phoenix crooned. Her voice echoed in Andrea's mind, barely understandable in the state she was now.

"Who gives a shit," she mumbled. "Leave me 'lone."

'_**You're pathetic. You fought so hard before and now you've done this…foolish child.'**_

"No one wanted your 'pinion. Don't like you can leave."

'_**Your husband would shun you.'**_

"Wish you people stop bringing him up. He's _dead_…not here no more."

'_**And you let that stop you, throw you into this ridiculous stupor? Fool.'**_

"Blow me," she showed the social finger to the sky, as if Phoenix was looking down on her. "Go…fucking molt or something."

'**_I wish I _could_, you useless drug head! You do no good to anyone in this state!'_**

"Hell," she laughed. "No one needs me 'nymore. They're all fuck happy and don't need me now. Like before…forgot me,"

'_**They haven't, but they have their own lives! They cannot always be with you.'**_

"What fuck else do I have!" she was crying again. "Den's gone…got no one else now."

'_**I'm always with you.'**_

"I supposed to be happy 'bout that? It's cause you I have to put up with shit. You fuckin' cheat me…_cheat me_! Fuckin' hate you."

'_**You don't mean it. You're not yourself.'**_

"Thanks for the damn newsflash." She grinned stupidly and with sarcasm. "Still hate you."

'_**You have a duty to fulfill. Have you forgotten?'**_

"Don't want it no more," she sounded on the brink of passing out. "Fuckin' don't want it. Not mine to start…your fault to begin."

'_**And I've passed it to you.'**_

"Never accepted it…don't want it. You fuckin' forced me."

'_**I never asked if you did.'**_

"No shit…never had choice. Fucking' hate you."

'_**You must do this. This world will vanish if you don't.**_

"Give-a-damn's still broke. Never gonna fix it either. Do it your damn self…don't give shit anymore."

'_**Regardless…there will be more time for this later. You have company.'**_

She numbly half hoped it was Black so she could kill him. Andrea managed sitting up, feeling the ground beneath her move. In the brief flash of the lightning her dull vision caught glimpses of shimmering metal, flickering in a circle around her, slowly closing in. She inadvertently blinked her vision somewhat clear, taking in a better look of things. Over the thunder she could hear snarling, heavy footsteps, and the subtle sound of claws clicking together, like small bones snapping. The modified half fiends were all around her. Hmmm, a little fun maybe; so what if she was stoned out of her fucking mind?

Andrea reached for her lance lying in the mud. She gripped it in her hand as tightly as she could, feeling the grittiness of the wet dirt under her palm. She used it to help her stand, her legs very unsteady. Most of the fiends were drakes, nothing she couldn't handle alone.

Even in her…less than stable state she couldn't help but feel a strange connection with the fiends to someone she knew. She wasn't quite sure who, but she felt some sort of relation. Maybe it was just the pills. Yes, it had to be the pills.

Fighting high wasn't as hard as she thought. Things seemed easier to pull off now that her body felt like a limp noodle. She bent in ways she'd never before thought possible. If the fiends wounded her, she didn't feel it. Warmth was spilling down her back, she could feel that. She wasn't sure what it was or much less cared. What difference could…you know what I'm gonna say so I'll just save it.

When the battle was over, which hadn't taken long, she held a disengaged Machina limb in her hand, having torn it off of a fiend's body with her bare hands. Her body trembled with the adrenaline and dopamine cocktail in her bloodstream. It made her shake all over hard. It almost made her bones hurt. Still, she kept her fists clenched and her lance in a firm grip. She didn't want the bloodshed to stop. She wanted more death, more carnage to surround her until the mud was crimson. She wanted to keep killing.

Andrea found a corpse of a fiend still moving. She mutilated it in the worst manner. She yanked the arms from the sockets, pulled the head from the body by the neck and ripped the jaw from the skull. She snapped its spine over her knee and tore the beast down the middle. She reclaimed her lance and started striking it, not stopping as she made the fiend into more smaller pieces.

She sought more dead fiends, desecrating their remains as well with the next one always worse than the previous. She broke bones just to hear the sound, somewhat deafened by the thunder, the blood diluted by the rain. Terror stricken eyes of dead fiends lay on the ground, no longer in their natural place but half consumed in wet earth. Andrea would yank out intestines and hurl them senselessly, careless of where they ended up. The stench was horrendous yet somewhat softened by the moist air. She clutched still warm organs in her hands, fisting them until they burst open and became mangled. She yanked out ribs and threw them around without reason or direction. Her madness was so complete she even consumed some of the unclean flesh, as if to totally conquer her enemies on the highest level. It was just more violent chaos, senseless destruction…a new and improved repeat of her wedding. The night her sanity fled with Ixion's spirit. She almost wished someone would try to stop her.

You would never know that the remains had once been fiends. You couldn't tell anymore. It was just…death all around. The paragon of disgust and taboo of every manner. Nothing was sacred and never would be again. The violation was beyond recompense.

Andrea was on her knees, covered in blood and organic debris. Bits of bone, raw flesh, scales, and even fur clung to the side of her mouth and lips. Her eyes were wide, bloodshot and empty, staring into a deep abyss of darkness that only she could see. Only she could see because she'd thrown herself into it. A sinister grin, void of any humanity tugged at the edge of her mouth. It contorted like an opening wound. Her heart was slamming against her chest, her lungs heaving to breath. Her lance lay beside her, the blade smeared with blood, mud and water. The fluids danced on the polished steel, dancing the dirge for the passing of the fiends, as if anyone cared at all.

"Devil may cry, devil may care…devil may dare, devil may swear." She muttered, her mouth trembling with the urge to speak.

"_Devil may dare, devil may swear-Devil may dare, devil may swear_!" she screamed it over and over, her voice more potent than the thunder. "_Love to hate, love to play-Love to blame, love to maim! The axe calls, the axe falls-The axe stalls, the blood crawls!_" she just continued to cry out in nonsense. She smiled the entire time, but if one would see this face, a smile would not be its name. It was the expression of abandonment, of inhumanity, of utter agony; all of which made the mind at last snap. It had finally happened…Andrea had lost her mind. This was no longer drug induced retardation, it was pure lunacy. Why Phoenix never intervened I will never know, much less understand. She remained silent, as if having isolated herself from her vassal completely. Perhaps it was for the best. Not even the Phoenix of the black flame would appear. It feared this new insanity far too much.

Andrea started laughing. It was just a stuttering, panting sort of chuckle. But it was so intense that tears came to her eyes. Then she burst out loud, forcing the air to rasp from her lungs to make the sound. It was tortured and senseless. It echoed like the thunder. Yet the lightning seemed to have all but disappeared by now. Perhaps it fled from the madness too.

In mid guffaw Andrea felt the air in her body stop, seize up in her lungs. Her mirth died in a strange way, like it never came to begin with, and her face went blank for a moment before taking on a curious expression. It almost looked like she was trying to work a math problem off the top of her head. Her stomach felt cold through the middle. She looked down with eyebrows furrowed and saw the tip of blade running through her. It was so much bigger than any other weapon she'd seen. Her blood mingled with the mud. The sword was yanked out of her, scraping against bone for a sickening tone that rang up the steel.

She staggered forward on her hands and knees. Eventually she dropped, rolling onto her back and lying flat on the ground. Raindrops fell into her open eyes that still showed a little confusion. She didn't blink and they fell like her own tears down her dirty face. Her vision blurred now and she saw shapes moving above her. Her head started swimming and her eyes threatened to roll back. All of her muscles died again and her head lolled limply on her neck. She heard voices, muffled and far from discernable.

"Dennis," she mumbled. "Dennis, can't find you…where'd you go? I can't see you,"

"It's okay, Andrea. It's just us," she couldn't hear or tell who was speaking.

"Wait for me, Dennis. Don't leave me behind…I want to follow. Just…just wait up."

It was black for her after that. She had no dreams or visions. It was just an endless, ethereal void.

_(II)_

Yuna sat in silence, just like everyone else. The five of them were all in the cabin, sitting at the round wooden tables and trying to enjoy a drink. Eve had been long since sent to bed. The High Summoner was shaken, having seen the monstrosity of the Thunder Plains. They had watched the whole thing, only allowing it to go on because they were too disgusted to stop it. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen so much blood, so much...abnormality.

Paine and Celeste had said nothing for the whole evening, which wasn't uncommon for them. Usually when Paine was confused she'd not say anything, so it was figured her sibling would act the same.

Rikku held her shot glass in both hands, hoping it would keep her from shaking so much. She wasn't sure what to think about what she'd seen. True, she knew it had happened, but she wasn't certain if it was real. She wished it wasn't, but something wouldn't let her lie to herself.

Jamie sat next to her, now on his third shot. Nothing could dull the reality of it all. He saw the look on everyone's face and he could feel his heart sinking. He couldn't help but think this was his fault. Although he saw nothing wrong in knocking off a few half fiends, however it was the method of their disposal that bothered him. And he thought _he_ was the violent one. Andrea's freak out made him look like a fucking pellet gun against a Nuclear Missile silo. Needless to say he felt kind of small about it. Although he'd agree that the sight did unnerve him.

"You think we did the right thing?" Yuna finally spoke. Everyone flinched a little.

"I think so. If we'd left her be she would've hurt someone." Paine sipped from her glass. "Could've gone off and killed someone."

"I agree with sis. The last thing we need is her running around bumping people off. We've got enough trouble right now." Celeste added.

"This is _so_ unlike her," Rikku whimpered with her forehead on the table.

"I can…understand her being upset," Jamie spoke hesitantly. "But _that_ upset just doesn't make any sense."

Yuna shook her head and looked at him. "You don't understand her, that's why."

"_Should I_ understand?"

"Maybe…perhaps then you could comprehend _exactly_ what's happening. You see," she paused a moment. "I think Andrea's lived her whole life thinking that anything good she has will be taken away. And for the most part this has been true."

"Okay," he shrugged. "I feel a story coming on."

"You should listen, Jamie." Rikku put her hand on his forearm and looked at him sincerely.

He lounged back in his chair with another shrug, gesturing for Yuna to continue. The High Summoner told him Andrea's story, from the beginning as she knew it up until now. He came to realize how much he and Andrea had in common. How the world kept shitting on their lives, the trials they were forced to endure, their bouts with loneliness and the law were all too familiar. However he couldn't much relate being framed and forced into prison. It was different when you'd actually broken the law.

"So," he said once Yuna had finished. "There's a good chance that she's finally lost it?"

"Probably," Paine replied. "There's no doubt that she felt as if Dennis was her only friend, and now he's gone…to her there's nothing else to lose. But she honestly thought she was finally happy…when it turned on her so suddenly her mind couldn't take it anymore."

"I thought she was going to be okay when I saw her before we left Besaid." Yuna was shaking her head.

"Yeah, but then she saw Rikku with Black. Shit hit the fan then. That was her last straw."

Jamison cringed. He felt like everyone was pointing the finger at him. It's not like he meant for all of this to happen! Christ, he hadn't hardly any control over his actions anymore. If this didn't end soon _he_ was going to flip out.

There was a long silence.

"So…what do we do now?" Rikku looked so hopeless.

"I don't know." Yuna shook her head. "We can't go back to the island, not now."

"Why not?"

"She's too dangerous. We'd be putting everyone in jeopardy by taking her with us."

"Well we can't just leave her here." Paine interjected.

"Maybe if we just give her some time she'll come back around." Celeste suggested.

"That may be our only option right now." Yuna shrugged in defeat.

"If that's the case, you think that you could help me with this damn split personality bullshit?" Jamie pointed a finger to his head.

Yuna didn't know much about it, but she knew he was having trouble. She asked for some details.

"When the moon is in a certain phase…I become someone else. I don't much get it myself. I'm still me, but I can't control what I do. There are two other fuckers living in my head…they _make_ _me_ do things…"

Paine flinched. She knew what _things_ he was talking about. She controlled her temper. She believed he wasn't himself. It was near the New Moon. It had to have been one of the phases he was referring to. If it wasn't…she would find out.

"What do you think we should do?" Yuna asked.

"We have to restore the balance between the three. I don't know how we could do that, but that's the only idea I have."

Yuna thought for a moment…a long moment. Then she nodded her head.

"I think I know what to do. However, I wouldn't want to try it without Phoenix's help."

"But Yuna, she's about together as a fucking jigsaw puzzle!" Rikku blurted.

"I'm sorry Rikku, but I just have this feeling that it wouldn't be safe for us to go without her."

"Go where?" Jamie wondered.

"Inside your head," Paine answered.

Jamie's eyes widened and he cocked up and eyebrow. Was that physically possible? What, would they shrink like in that movie "Inner Space"?

"It's a spell, kind of like Astral Projection, but they go into your head instead." She elaborated for him.

"Whoa, you guys can do that?" Celeste gasped. "I thought only high ranking mages could pull of that kind of magic."

"Yuna _is_ the High Summoner,"

"You have a point." Paine sat in her chair and grinned smugly.

"Either way," Yuna continued. "I think we should wait."

"What will we do until then? Or what if she never comes out of it at all?" Rikku was getting testy, her fists clenching with her half out of her seat. "What if she just stays that way and we never help Jamie! What if he kills someone else!" Jamie flinched.

"Rikku calm down," Yuna said. "We're going to help him, don't worry. She'll come out of it…I know she will."

She has to, Yuna thought briefly.

_(III)_

The brig of the airship was cold. It was gray steel from wall to floor to ceiling. At first Jamison hadn't the slightest clue why he wanted to come here, but as he neared the several inches thick titanium door that led to the holding corridor he realized it. He felt the need to do this. Rikku had offered to come with him, but he persuaded her to let him go alone. This was his problem that he needed to do on his own. He knew she was just putting his best interests in mind, but still he gently argued against her company. She gave him the keys so he could get in.

He heard the loud click of the turning key and pushed open the heavy cell door. He closed it behind him but didn't lock it. If he had to get out in a hurry he didn't want the damn thing to be shut completely.

The cell was perhaps twice the size of the one he had spent the past six months in. One could even call it a luxury cell. He laughed mentally about that. There was an aluminum chair next to the door, he pulled it up and sat in it. He looked at Andrea lying in the bed on the other side of the room. Her eyes were open and she stared blankly at the ceiling.

They had to put her here. It was the only place she'd be safe…that they would be safe.

Jamie rubbed his hands together, they started to sweat. He leaned forward with his elbows supporting him on his knees. He knew she was awake, but could she even hear him if he managed to get up the guts to speak?

"Andrea," he paused to get the words right in his head. "I…I don't know if you're listening, or if you even _want_ to listen but…I just want to tell you that I'm sorry. It wasn't me that killed him, but I'm just as much at fault. I couldn't stop him,"

Andrea remained silent. She acted as if he wasn't there. But then again, in a sense, _she_ wasn't even there.

"_**It will be a long while before she's able to answer."**_

The voice sounded familiar to him, but he was positive he was the only one here. He looked over to see Phoenix. Her head touched the ceiling and she stared down at him with piercing black and blue colored eyes. Was he hallucinating?

"_**Her mind is useless right now; she cannot keep me for the time being. I'm truly here. I cannot sustain in that mess she's made of herself."**_

Jamie just looked up at the Guardian, not certain of how to answer. Phoenix blinked at him. **_"You look surprised. You've seen me before,"_**

"It's just…you surprised me."

"_**Understandable; I needed someone with some sense to talk to seeing as my vassal can't much talk at all."**_

"Sense? What the hell you talking to me for then?"

"_**Compared to her you still have some."**_

"I suppose you have a point. So what happened?"

"_**She used to be a junkie…she just crawled into her old habits again. Took some of those damned human pills and smoked that awful weed. Not to mention she became ridiculously drunk."**_

"Holy shit," he was genuinely shocked. "On normal standards that would've killed someone."

"_**Instead it killed her mind. In a sense she's brain dead, but fortunately it isn't permanent. She'll be physically well again in a day or so. Mentally however, is an entirely different story."**_

"God," Jamie shrugged and raked his scalp with his fingers. "This is my fault."

"**_No, it isn't. It's the idiot stick inside of you that's causing the problem. But _that_ particular problem started with Sin. So if you wish to get picky about it you could say it was Sin's fault."_**

"Big surprise," he laughed sarcastically, and then he shrugged. "I don't want to be this way. I don't want to go insane…I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"_**Except for this…Gippal I keep hearing about?"**_

"Okay, you got me there. Yes, I'd like to rip out his intestines and use them for a jump rope, but I'm beginning to lose my taste for violence."

"_**That's not necessarily a terrible thing. Violence creates more problems than it solves."**_

Jamie only nodded his head. She had a point, even if he didn't fully agree. He would still think twice before admitting what she said. Violence has for the most part solved _his_ problems. But now it was beginning to make the ones he had that much more difficult.

"Is there any way to stop it? Cerberus I mean,"

"**_Of course there is."_** She replied, sounding astonished that he had asked. **_"The High Summoner has a good plan, and I agree with her wanting to be cautious. I know what you are thinking and I cannot go with you this way. I need Andrea's body to channel my power."_**

"Well, you can't blame me for hoping."

"**_No I cannot; I only wish _she_ could hope every once and a while. I swear, if she had any optimism she'd hurt herself."_**

Jamie couldn't help but laugh a little. He had never imagined Phoenix as one with a sense of humor. She seemed more like Dias; they'd probably get along well with each other. He shrugged and shook his head.

"But," Jamie said, "When should they go in my head? We wouldn't want Noct going out for a walk while the others are busy."

"_**That is a very good question. I will leave that for you to decide, but I leave you with this to ponder: Not all darkness is evil, and the intentions of the light are not always pure."**_

"Would it kill you to speak in Idiot's English?"

"**_Actually, I believe that's the only thing that _could_ kill me."_**

_(IV)_

Rikku, despite her promise to leave Jamie alone with Andrea, was waiting outside the brig door as he came out. He stared at her, thinking maybe she expected him to snap at her. He didn't. He did wrap his arms around her. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She sighed into his chest. She didn't know what to think. He was going through so much, and there was nothing she could do.

Jamie surprised her by placing the keys to the brig into her hands. He then turned around, re-entered the brig, and locked himself in the cell next to Andrea's. Rikku followed him in and stared at him through the bars. She didn't argue. She knew he just wanted to keep them safe. She had already locked Tetsusaiga and Masamune in a weapons locker, so even if Noct busted out, he couldn't get any serious firepower.

Jamie sat down on the bed, but the minute he did, he jumped up, turning to Rikku. She could see the sinister look in his eyes. Noct was in control. The New Moon was in two days. Rikku felt it hard to believe he had only been here a month. It was all going by so fast. While lost in her thoughts, she wasn't prepared when Noct reached through the bars and grabbed her by her scarf.

"**Why am I locked in here? What did Jamie-boy do?"**

"He wants to make sure you don't kill anyone else."

"**You honestly think a few feet of solid metal can hold me back? Need I remind you that I am a god?"**

"Not really, you know," Dias said, though his voice sounded strained.

"**Don't strain yourself, Jeeves. We don't want you getting a hernia, now do we?"**

And Dias was silent. He had already accepted that he wasn't going to be able to control Noct at this stage. Noct did let Rikku go, a smug look in his eyes, as though he knew that the cell wouldn't hold him. And it probably wouldn't. Still, without a single glance back, Rikku exited the brig, walking through the airship to reunite with Yunie and Paine.

_(V)_

Jamie's head hurt but he couldn't much complain about it. He and Noct had been for the past few hours-for lack of a better term-playing mental grab ass for control. Most of the time he lost. This was such a pain. For once in his life he wanted to be his old self again, still unable to tell which was the lesser of two evils.

For the moment he was sitting cross legged at the head of his bed, staring holes into the far wall. He was unconsciously trying to keep his mind off how incredibly miserable he was right now. He knew being in here was better off for everyone, but he hated it with the passion of a million suns. He wanted to be through with this bullshit, he wanted to be with his wife.

For the first time in a while he smiled. He was genuinely happy to say that Rikku was truly his now. However this also had a bit of sting to it. It made things that much harder to bear; his being separated from her that it. He knew the New Moon was closer and it frightened him. He feared what would happen this time. Perhaps the cell would be able to hold him. That is unless of course he goes all Cujo and whatnot. Phoenix had managed to hurt him pretty good on their first encounter, but he still doubted that flimsy metal bars would hold Noct in. Phoenix did everything but kill herself to get at him. Jamie shook his head with his hope fleeting.

"**_I would advise against being so depressed. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to try."_**

Jamie watched as Phoenix materialized through the wall and into his cell. He blinked a time or two to make sure he wasn't seeing things. That bird was so fucking weird. Hell, all of this was weird, as if he expected anything else.

"I hate this." He grumbled. "I-fucking-_hate_-this!"

"**_I understand, and I wish there was something I could do."_** Phoenix made this strange warbling sound that made Jamie's face twist into a curious expression. What the hell kind of a noise was that?

"Can't you, like, you know," he suggested hesitantly. "Look into my future or something. I dunno; anything at this point would be peachy."

Phoenix shook her head. **_"I wish it were so simple. If only Noct would change his mind and stop being a damned prat about this."_**

"**Fat chance, sun spot."** Noct huffed, having suddenly shoved Jamie aside again. **"You know me better than to think I'd change my mind just 'cause you think I should. I still stick to my decision."**

"**_And you're a damned fool for doing so, _fluffykins._"_** Phoenix emphasized the last word and watched Noct flinch. Apparently he didn't like being talked down to like that. **_"There's no sense in what you suggest, you know."_**

"**Like hell there isn't! Look what these worthless flesh bags are doing with what we've made! It's been nothing but war since the beginning! Even _before_ those fucking airhead, gear wrenching shit pistols were overthrown!"**

"**_You've never considered blaming yourself for that, have you? _You were_ the one who gave them freedom of choice after all."_**

"**So what? _You_ were the one that wouldn't give that crusty old biscuit eternal life. Would it have killed you, honestly? No, I don't suppose it _would_!"**

"_**That's not the point, you fucking murderous bastard!"**_

"**Ooh, nice mouth, pigeon face,"** He mocked her. **"Either way, why not have given it to him? It wasn't like he was going to hurt anyone."**

"**_Because that is _not_ how things are supposed to work! It is against nature…it is against the four of _us_!"_**

Noct began to laugh. **"You actually think he's still coming, don't you? Cripes, you haven't changed at all. I took care of your little play toy, okay? He ain't coming."**

"_**So says you, but you can't see the future, can you?"**_

"**And neither can you anymore. You lost that power when we retreated to that fucked up dimension you dragged us into. I still hate you for that, by the way."**

"_**What would you have done, missing a head and all? It wasn't as if you had to follow me there. You could've found a different body instead of clinging to me like some stray!"**_

"**Save me your lecture."** He yawned disrespectfully. **"Like you said, I was missing a head…"**

Phoenix shook her head. He was such a childish one. He only used the facts if he could do so to his defense. She hated it when he was selective like that. It drove her to drink…if she could.

"_**Either way…the rest of us were against your idea. We outvoted you three to one."**_

"**Not exactly. We were tied…seeing as I count as three.**" He held up three fingers. **"So there."**

Phoenix hissed in irritation. **_"Still…you should forget your ambition. Even Seraphim was against you."_**

Noct cringed again, harder this time. **"What would you know?"**

"_**Last time I checked…everything. Look, I know the two of you were involved, but she was no fool. You should've known most of all that she would disagree with you."**_

"**You really shouldn't stick your beak where it doesn't belong, Phoeny…I might bite it off."**

"_**A whole lot of good it would do you. We've been at each other for centuries and you still can't accept the fact that you can't kill me."**_

"**Blow me,"** he spat coldly. **"I'll get you one of these days. I'll get your human. What then?"**

"**_You truly are an idiot,"_** Phoenix shook her head. **_"She isn't so much the dumb ass."_**

"**You sure? Last time I checked she was too busy emptying the medicine cabinet to notice how much I want to kill her. She's getting in my way…you know how much I hate that."**

"_**Grow up, would you? You really should let this obsession of yours go. It'll save all of us a load of problems."**_

"**No, I don't think I will. In fact I'll _promise_** **to get rid of your fleshy gig bag _and_ do in this sorry excuse for a planet. I stopped old scaly ass from annoying me, I can get the rest of you just as easily."**

"_**You know not what you do, Cerberus."**_

"**Oh, but I _do_,"** he grinned sickeningly at Phoenix.

_(VI)_

**WARNING! Breach in the prison wing! REPEAT: Breach in the prison wing!**

Rikku scrambled to get the voice to shut up. She already knew that Noct was gone, and Jamie with him. She was afraid that the brig cell wouldn't hold a 1000 year old psychopath. Luckily, he left Tetsusaiga and Masamune where they were. He wasn't planning on killing anyone. Maybe just having fun. Maybe he just popped out for a drink. Yeah, right; and Sin just dropped in to check the mail every ten years…fucking tards.

Before she even stepped off the bridge she knew she would be too late to do anything, and she was. By the time she arrived Noct was long gone, having left a gaping hole in the side of her airship the size of…well, let's just say it was big. She looked into the now empty cell and felt her insides crumble. She leaned against the steel bars and gripped them tightly, dropping to her knees. This was just getting worse and worse, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. What the fuck was going on!

Suddenly there was a loud crash, the airship trembling. Rikku looked around puzzled. Just then the intercom clicked on.

"Rikku," It was Yuna. "Your dad's here."

Oh crap, she thought. She growled in frustration as she stormed back up to the bridge. What the hell could her dad possibly want and why now, of all times? The Al Bhed entered the bridge and quickly noticed that everyone was divided to stand on either side of the room. She honed in on her father and the group he was standing with and would've thrown a fit if she wasn't so shocked.

"Son of a bitch!" she squealed.

Cid had a pack of half fiends standing behind him, most of them carrying guns, some had them built in, and they were holding everyone else at gunpoint. Cid just looked at his daughter, almost sad.

"What the hell is going on, dad?"

"You're coming with me, Rikku." He replied simply.

"Why?"

"Like I said before, I'm not trying to punish you," he said. "You're going to marry Gippal, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter. Come on."

"No way! I am _not_ going to marry that one-eyed, egotistical flake!" she shouted defiantly. "And what are _those things_ doing here?" she gestured fiercely to the half fiends.

"They aren't the point right now; _you_ are. I don't want to have to force you, Rikku."

"I can't believe you, dad," she shook her head in disapproval. "Sinking so low as to threaten your own niece? What has gotten into you?"

"I just want you to be safe, and I'm thinking of Eve too. I just want what's best for both of you."

"Then leave us alone!"

"Rikku," he shrugged. "I hate that it has to come to this."

Rikku was ready to jump and strangle Cid but froze when he pulled his hands out from behind him. In one was an ever trusty flame thrower…I mean lighter. But considering it was Al Bhed made, it might as well have been a flame thrower. In the other was this stuffed Chocobo plushy. Rikku gasped in an irritatingly high pitch.

"You cooperate or the Chocobo gets it."

"You monster!" She cried. "Not my plushy! I hate you with the fires of a thousand evils!"

"I'm sorry, Rikku, but this is how it has to be. Now please," he had his finger itching dangerously on the flint wheel.

Rikku looked at Yuna in desperation. The High Summoner had trouble keeping her focus away from the guns pointed at her. She had no answer. Rikku looked at Cid furiously. It looked as if she had no choice. Wait, she still had the trump card! Jamie would probably disapprove, but there wasn't time for indecision right now.

"Dad, I can't marry Gippal!"

"Why not?"

"I'm already married! Hah! I eloped,"

"With Jamie, I know."

Rikku's confidence was snuffed out almost immediately. How could he possibly know about that?

"Now, Rikku, honestly…make your choice."

What she would've given to have Jamie with her now.

Authors' Note: SBD- Where in the hell am I going with this? If I knew I wouldn't tell you anyway. Next chapter…do you even want to ask? There's no telling. Off to fight the Pants Rebellion! TALLY HO!


	15. Fluffykins

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Fluffykins**

"Make your choice, Rikku," Cid repeated coolly.

Rikku's thoughts were flying in every direction but the right one. Her gaze shifted madly between her father and the others; she didn't know what to do. She wished Jamie was here. He'd make this stop

Finally she dropped her hands to her sides, her head falling as she shrugged in defeat. The choice was obvious, but she hated admitting it. She didn't want it to be this way, but she didn't want her selfishness to get anyone killed.

"Fine," she said at last. "I'll go with you." She shook her head hard.

_(II)_

Two more days passed. The Pickle remained in the Thunder Plains, now grounded as no one else knew how to pilot the damn thing. For the most part their time was spent trying to repair the yawning breach in the hull. They were welding for hours on end, which was naturally quite difficult from all the rain. Aside from that, they found nothing else to do but mope. It was really quite sad. Even the pink in Paine's hair seemed to fade like their mood. Celeste was in the best spirits, and I mean that quite literally. She was more than happy with raiding the mini bar for everything it had to offer. What is with people and alcohol? The world may never know. No, I didn't ask Mister Owl, so fuck off!

"I don't see what Cid sees in Gippal," Paine shook her head. "_No one_ likes that little prick,"

"The only thing fur head has going for him is the fact that he's relatively safer than good old Jamison." Celeste figured. "However, if Cid forces Rikku to go through with this, he's going to be second most _unsafe_ person on the planet."

"How so?"

"Think about it," she paused long enough to burp. "If Jamie finds out, who's most likely to be his target? Survey said," she burped again. "Gimpy, the pain in the ass!"

"She's got a point," she looked at Yuna, nodding her head in her elder sibling's direction.

"This is so…damn…_stupid_!" Yuna groaned. "Cid is being an absolute retard!"

Paine snickered. Such colorful language from the normally reserved High Summoner. Yuna probably wouldn't be half as pissed had she an idea to fix all of this. But as of two days ago she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She felt the urge to break something.

She brooded in her frustration for perhaps the next ten minutes. She sat there until she couldn't stand it anymore, nearly kicking the chair over as she stood up and stormed out of the cabin.

Celeste shook her head as she brought over a pair of shot glasses and forty ounce glass bottle of vodka. Yeah, I know; it's a little too big for a mini bar, but mini is only a matter of opinion. Paine looked at her sister with a grin tugging at the edge of her mouth.

"I know you're not challenging me," she said.

"Maybe," the Black Mage replied. "Scared?"

"You know I'm gonna drink your ass under the table."

_(III)_

How long had it been? Boy, I ask that question a lot.

Andrea opened her eyes, at last able to realize that they were. She looked around and shrugged at the bars when she saw them. A fuzzy memory of her little…tantrum came back and she felt herself cringe. She shook her head in self disapproval and rubbed her eyes. She sat up and threw her legs over the edge of the cot, her feet on the floor. Andrea sat there for a moment before reaching into her pocket for a rubber band. She tied her hair back into a ponytail, glad to have it out of her way.

Her head jerked up when she heard a door open with a high pitched whine.

"Oh hey, Yuna."

"You're awake," her surprise was mild. "How do you feel?"

"All things considered I'm okay. So how about letting me out now?"

Yuna slightly shied away, giving her a very cautious expression. "Are you…all right?"

"Actually no. I'm still very much insane, but now I'm not stoned out of my mind and angry. However, now that I mention it, I think _this_ is more frightening. Either way, relatively I'm fine. I won't freak out on you out of the blue if that's what you're thinking."

"You're sure?"

Andrea nodded.

"Okay, but only if you _swear_ not to touch any more alcohol…at all…_ever_!" she said firmly. "And no more smoking either!"

"Fine, fine," Andrea groaned in agreement. "No more partying with myself, I get it."

At that, feeling like she was going against her better judgment, the High Summoner unlocked her cell and let her out. They started walking the halls aimlessly together. For the most part they didn't say much, but they really didn't have to. They've always had this emotional link, and for now that was doing the speaking for them.

Andrea hated feeling the fear coming from Yuna again. It made her hurt on the inside, made her feel guilty for the first time about her actions. She kept her hands in her pockets with her head lowered. Yuna's emotions made her feel like she was shrinking; so small and pathetic, which in a strange, twisted reality she was. For the first time in a long time she felt a profound sense of shame.

"Cid," she spoke hesitantly. "Cid's making Rikku marry Gippal."

"I heard about that."

"No, he's really going to do it. He was here a day or so ago and took her."

Andrea lifted her head and looked at Yuna with shock. "No shit?"

Yuna only nodded.

"So what are we going to do? I know Black's gone wonky, but there's got to be something the rest of us can do."

"I don't know. He's on the side of the half fiends I found out."

"_What_? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Nope."

"Son of a bitch," Andrea shook her head. "I should've guessed it,"

"How do you figure?"

"The Machina parts, duh. Isn't it all too obvious now?"

"I suppose it is, but I guess it doesn't matter much now."

"Maybe so, but it explains a few things at least. What sucks is that now we've got one million and two problems instead of just one million."

"That's not funny," Yuna said grimly.

"It wasn't supposed to be. But I think the half-fiends have a lot to do with Black coming back."

"But the first attack was just before he returned. There's no way Cid could've known he was coming."

"I'm chalking that up to a freak accident. That's my theory. Otherwise I think he was trying to find a way to bump him off without leaving his prints at the scene of the crime. Which he might've done if he hadn't gave his fiends killer bling."

"I'm beginning to understand. You sound like you've been thinking about this a long while."

"I haven't, but I've got plenty of practice of preoccupying myself. Anything to keep myself from breaking down. Still, we have to do something; we can't let Gippal marry her."

"I know, but what can we do about it?"

"We're gonna go crash the wedding, plain and simple."

"Are you nuts? Wait, never mind,"

Andrea nodded for a change. "If worse comes to worse I'll go in there, but a few skulls, save the bride and haul ass out of there. No need for anyone else to get involved. It's not like it'll kill me or anything."

"You're so sure that you can't die!" she sounded annoyed.

"Who's to say it isn't true? I mean, I took a sword through the stomach and lived through it."

"But you're also infamous for being a meat head and numb from the brain down. If you knew what pain was you'd go sane."

"That may be, but I'm willing to take the gamble on immortality. What have I got to lose?"

Yuna didn't answer. Andrea would've disagreed with anything she said anyway. There was no point in wasting her breath. As if Andrea would listen anyway. At this point trying to reason with her was more hopeless than reasoning with a brick wall.

_(IV)_

In the weeks that Yuna and the others had gone in search of either Black or Andrea, Jennifer was left alone on Besaid. She had talked to Lulu on multiple occasions, mostly about what happened just before Dennis died. She still felt a little jolted over the experience. But she kept wondering why she didn't fight back as much as she could have. What made her accept it, _want_ it even?

Yes, in the back of her mind that night, she could have sworn she felt like she wanted to be raped. No, wanted to be loved. It was as if some memory that wasn't hers had surfaced that night when she heard Black call her 'Sera'. That memory was one of happiness, of longing, of lust. It was as though she loved Black, but not quite. She loved the memory of him. Something that happened in the past made her want Black. She couldn't describe it. She felt like…

It didn't matter. She hoped that she would never see Black again. When she awoke after she was…assaulted, she discovered that Black, the sick bastard, had carved a set of wings into her back. The incisions had long since healed, and all that was left was a set of scars. No White Magic could get rid of them. But Jennifer didn't really care. She kinda liked them, despite how she received them.

It was night. She had been taking long night walks on the beach ever since the incident. She found it calmed her down. She felt relaxed hearing the ocean's rhythmic crashing against the shore. She felt at peace whenever she was out here.

"**Sera…"**

Chills went up and down her spine when she heard that name. It was what Black called her…that night. Did he have some sort of fetish associated with this name? It felt familiar, but it wasn't her name. Was it?

"**Sera…"**

Black came out of the shadows of the forest. He walked along the beach until he was a few feet from Jennifer. She was so wrapped up in her fear that she didn't move. All Black did was stare at her, a smile on his face. Jennifer couldn't move. But she did lose consciousness.

Although she had fainted, her body didn't fall. She stood there with her eyes closed. A few seconds later, a faint golden aura surrounded her body. When her eyes opened, they emitted the same golden glow. Jennifer looked to the sky and saw darkness. No moon in the sky.

"_What do you want, Noct?_" Jennifer asked in a voice that wasn't her own.

"**It's about time you came out to play, Sera. How you been, babe?"**

"_I know for a fact that you didn't come here for small talk. Say what you came to say and leave." _The Seraphim turned her back on Noct. But he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"**How about I start out with a couple questions. 1: Why didn't you fight me off when I –_ahem_- pleasured you?"**

"_You didn't 'pleasure' me, you psychotic nymphomaniac. You raped me. I didn't fight back because I hadn't properly bonded with this girl. I suppose I should thank you for carving my symbol into this girl's back."_

"**It's a business doing pleasure with you, babe."**

"_Would you stop thinking with your cock for two seconds?" _Seraphim shouted.

"**Wow, Sera. I've never heard you swear before."**

"_A lot has changed in 1000 years, you fuck job."_

"**Ooh, Sera's getting frisky. You should trash talk me more often, babe. I'm getting turned on!"**

"_Please, just leave, Noct. I don't want to talk to you nor see you." _From Noct's point of view, it looked like Seraphim was crying.

The grin faded from Noct's face instantly. He walked forward and wrapped his arms around Sera's shoulders. She didn't fight him off. It felt good to feel _his_ arms around her, even if _he_ was gone.

"**This is about Chaosin, isn't it?"**

Seraphim turned around and wrapped her arms around Noct's waist when she heard that name. She cried into his chest. She cried until she felt she couldn't cry anymore. And all the while, Noct stood there with his arms around her. Not feeling her up, not making any sort of sexual advance. He just stood there and comforted her. Almost feeling guilty.

"**It's okay, Sera. It's okay."**

"_No! It's not okay!"_ she shouted into Noct's coat. _"Nothing you say can bring him back!"_

"**I know that, Sera. I miss him, too, believe it or not. He was as much a part of me as he was a part of you. His whole world revolved around you, literally."**

This only made Sera sob harder. Noct felt responsible for Chaosin's death. Sin had destroyed Chaosin because Yu Yevon _chose_ the darkness. He _chose_ to create Sin. It was all Noct's fault.

"**It may hurt to hear this, Sera, but I feel you have to know. You remember that field to the north of Moonflow? The one where Chaosin…"**

Seraphim actually smiled at this memory. _"Of course. How could I forget?"_

_(Flashback)_

It was a bright, sunny day over Guardian Plains. It was an endless field of grass and trees. A beautiful paradise. Many Spirans would have been tempted to live there, but the four Guardians had forbidden the Spirans from settling in this field. They were free to come and go, but not a single tree was to be cut and not a single home built. There were usually many travelers through the field, always trading between Zanarkand and Bevelle to the north and Luca and Besaid to the south. But there were a pair of travelers that had strayed off the path.

"_Chaosin," _a beautiful woman giggled. _"Where are we going?"_

"You'll see," a voice in the woman's mind said.

The woman was none other than the Seraphim. She had long, brown hair, wore a long yellow dress, and had three pairs of wings sprouting from her back, the same color as her hair. She had piercing, deep blue eyes, but they were currently hidden by a blindfold. She was riding on the back of a large three headed dog, its black fur sticking out among the green hues of the field.

"_Come on, Chaosin! I hate surprises!"_

"And here I thought you were supposed to love everything," Chaosin said to Seraphim telepathically.

"_Gimme a break!"_

"You won't have to wait much longer. We're here."

After Chaosin had lain down on the ground, Seraphim hopped down from his back and guided herself along the neck of the right head. She felt his tongue run up the side of her face and she giggled. She hugged his right neck and he nuzzled her back.

"You can take off the blindfold now."

She did and what she saw took her breath away. It was a rose, but it looked as though it was every color of the spectrum at once. It stood all alone at the top of a hill. She walked over to it and knelt next to it, caressing it's petals with her hands. They felt like silk.

"_It's…it's a Moon Rose, isn't it? But I thought they could only grow on the moon."_

"How true. But Phoeny figured out how to adapt them to grow down here. Drake gathered the seeds, and I've been tending to it for the past few months. It's for you, Sera."

"_It's beautiful. I love it!"_

"I thought you would. But it's not the only surprise I have for you." This time, Chaosin's voice came from his own mouth.

Seraphim turned and had her breath taken away again. Instead of a giant dog, there stood a young man. He had long black hair streaked with silver. He wore all black clothes and had a black cape. His eyes were yellow with black slits in the middle, and he had two pointy, black ears coming out of the top of his head.

"_Why did you make a human form for yourself?"_

"Because," he said, stepping closer to Sera. "It would look really weird if a dog did this." He knelt in front of her and reached into the Moon Rose. He pulled something out, but kept it concealed in his hand. He took her hands in his, and showed her what he held. It was a ring, set with three stones: Pearl, Onyx, and Diamond. Sera knew the craftsmanship from the moment she saw it. It was Ronso made, the finest in all of Spira.

"Will you marry me?"

Tears came to Sera's eyes as she looked down at Chaosin. She had always loved him, and he knew it, but she never thought there would be anything between them. I mean, a dog and an angel. That's like, interspecies. Nasty.

"_Yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you!"_

Chaosin slipped the ring onto Sera's finger and stood up. For the first time since they admitted their love for each other, they brought their lips together and kissed. They felt an unfamiliar rush flood through their bodies. They loved each other even more than before. And now, they were going to get married.

There tender moment was ruined when the Dragon flew up to them. It seemed like he was panicking about something.

"I would advise that the two of you return to Zanarkand as soon as possible. Yu Yevon may have done something drastic."

_(End flashback)_

"**And that was when Sin killed Chaosin."**

"_I miss him so much, Noct. We were going to be married. Why did Sin have to kill him?"_

"**That wasn't all Sin did."** Sera looked up into Noct's face, almost saying, 'You can't be serious.' **"The Spirans created a weapon to combat Sin. They called it Vegnagun. It has only been fired once, it's so dangerous. They fired it right at Sin, but Sin countered. The combined energy destroyed the land where it clashed and warped the atmosphere. Now it's a never ending storm there."** Sera's eyes widened, not wanting to believe what happened. **"Yes, Sin destroyed the Guardian Plains and the Moon Rose, replacing them with Thunder Plains."**

"_How could someone do something like that?"_

"**I don't know, Sera, but that's why I need your help." **He grasped Sera by her shoulders and looked into her glowing eyes. **"We need to start over. Make sure this never happens again. The only way we can do that is if we kill off all Spirans. You can do that much faster than I can. I can only manipulate the tides and flood the land. You can destroy it. End all life in Spira, then we can start over."**

"_I don't know, Noct. Wouldn't we have to ask Phoenix and Dragon first?"_

"**Trust me, Phoeny ain't in any condition to answer and Drake's a little…held up at the moment."**

"_What have you done, Noct?" _Sera backed away from the Left Head, glaring at him. _"What have you done to Phoenix and Dragon?"_

"**Well, first I took care of Drake's new body, then Phoeny did the destruction herself. I believe she tried to make margaritas in her bloodstream. Or maybe Bloody Marys would be more appropriate."**

"_You killed Dragon and drugged Phoenix? Why?"_

"**Without them to protest, I can destroy all of Spira. And then we'd be forced to recreate Spira anew. With a few minor changes, of course. Just think. What happened to Chaosin will never happen again."**

"_You haven't changed, have you? You still think that everyone's evil. Well, no matter how dark the heart, there will always be a light in it. Except for maybe yours. All I know is that I don't want to end innocent lives. It won't bring Chaosin back."_

"**You do know that if you're not with me, you're against me, right?" **Noct said, reaching out for her.

But Sera was ready. She swiped out at him and left a cut across his left eye. In her hand was a bloody, feather-shaped dagger. He growled and lunged at her again, but she held up a pair of daggers to his throat.

"_One more step,"_ she didn't have to finish. The threat was more than clear.

"**You can't kill me, Sera. No one can, not even Phoeny."**

"_I know, but I _do_ know that if I slit your throat, you'll be drowning in your own blood for a few minutes, giving me enough time to escape."_

"**1000 years has made you ruthless, Sera. I'm so proud of you." **He raised his hands over his head and backed up. **"Just keep in mind, Sera. I'll get you, too. Just wait."**

_(V)_

"How long must this go on?"

Dragon looked down on the small human, his mortal form, and felt himself shift uncomfortable on his haunches. For being dead he was certainly distraught. But then, again, after what he'd seen, I would be too.

Dennis had been watching helplessly the goings on in the living world. He realized quickly all the trouble his absence was beginning to cause, making him wish he'd never been born to begin with.

"The time will come," Dragon assured him. "It won't be long now."

"Why _not_ now?" he asked fiercely.

"We can't reconnect now. Your body wouldn't be able to handle it. It's still trying to heal. Even if that weren't the case, it still couldn't happen."

"Why?"

"My spirit was dormant inside of you for nearly twenty-five years and that includes my powers. Only when the alignment occurs will I be able to use them again."

Dennis growled in frustration. Why must he sit by and wait? People were suffering and he couldn't help them. Andrea was in utter turmoil and there was nothing he could do. All he was capable of was watching, and he'd willingly endure death again if it meant escaping this horrible feeling.

Dragon saw the grimace on the human's face.

"You fear for her?"

"Wouldn't _you_?"

"I suppose you have a point. But trust me, Phoenix can take care of herself."

"But _Andrea_ can't! She needs me!"

"You do her no justice," Dragon shook his head. "You know her better than that."

"I just," he took a calming breath. "I just can't stand to leave her alone."

"I understand. At least it is not forever."

Dennis nodded in reluctant agreement. Dragon was right.

"Cerberus is going to kill us all, isn't he?" Dennis asked hopelessly.

"If we fail, yes. He will find a way; he's always been good at that. However, I think the High Summoner can come through with her plan. If her magic can lend a hand in saving Phoenix then it can handle Cerberus."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Although the two of them are opposites, their power is nothing short of equal. They are in perfect balance with one another. That's one of the reasons why they could never kill each other, not just the fact that they are immortal and you cannot have existence without differences. Yes, their forms and forces differ, but their power is as if you stood in front of a mirror…one and the same."

Dennis looked at Dragon with tightly knitted eyebrows and shook his head. This was still just too much for him to understand.

"That's always made me wonder, though."

Dennis continued to watch Dragon as he spoke.

"I fail to see how it is Cerberus and Phoenix were never attracted, as you know how the saying goes."

Dennis' face twisted into shocked disgusted. Where the fuck was he going with this? He could almost see the logic in the Guardian's thought, but still…yuck!

"However I understand his bond with Seraphim. They were attracting opposites in their own ways. Perhaps I only say this because I don't understand _my_ bond with Phoenix."

"How could _that_ be?"

"I, for a small portion still, do not understand what Phoenix saw in me. Logic and emotion rarely mix well."

"Maybe that's why. Phoenix needed to know the difference between _knowing things_ and knowing _how to feel_ things. You were really the only one who could do that for her. Like helped Andrea to open up. But Phoenix and Cerberus," Dennis cringed. "They were _too_ different. Did they _ever_ like each other?"

"They were never so violent towards one another. Yes, they tolerated themselves, but I wouldn't say they were the best of friends. Especially after Yu Yevon. Noct did most of Cerberus' talking for him after that. Chaosin had little to say."

Dennis only nodded, as if he expected an answer like that. Finally he shrugged and let his head drop.

"Is there anything we can do besides wait?"

"I promise it will not be much longer." Was all Dragon said.

_(VI)_

Everything was set. It was a few days after the New Moon and soon, Gippal and Rikku would be married. Gippal hadn't seen Rikku in her dress, but he was sure she was going to be beautiful. Everything was ready: all the guests were there, even Andrea, Yuna, and the others, the decorations were perfect, and the Half-Fiends were stationed at their posts to prevent any unwanted distractions. Now all Gippal had to do was calm down.

He was in the bathroom splashing water on his face. He looked into the mirror and saw a nervous wreck look back at him. He was all dressed up in some robes Baralai let him borrow, he had his vows memorized, and he had the rings taken care of. Why was he so nervous? Maybe it was because he was finally getting to marry Rikku. He had loved her for ages, now he was going to marry her.

He splashed some more cold water on his face and looked up into the mirror. He could have sworn he saw someone behind him. He grabbed a towel and wiped his face off. He took a harder look in the mirror, and saw a man behind him wearing all black, short, spiky hair, and what looked like rough stubble around his jaw. Holy shit.

It was Black.

"Hi," was all Jamie said when he grabbed the back of Gippal's head and slammed it forward into the mirror, shattering it. Jamie kept his grip on Gippal's head when he swung Gippal into the bathroom stalls, taking them all out. Black walked over to Gippal's limp form, ready to pound him into ground beef, when he saw the toilet right next to the Al Bhed's head.

"I've always wanted to do this." Jamie grasped Gippal at the back of his neck and plunged his head into the toilet. Black then pressed the lever on the back. Gippal made a series of gurgling sounds and the water swirled around his head. Jamie saw the eye patch strap on the bacvk of Gippal's head snap and go the way of dead fishies.

"No wonder bullies do this," Jamie said as Gippal stopped squirming. "It's _fun_!"

Black then swung around and flung Gippal as hard as he could through the roof of the bathroom.

Outside, everyone was seated, although a little nervous about the Half-Fiends standing guard. Even Andrea had remained relatively calm. She knew Black would show up and get Rikku out of this. Didn't need a vision to tell her that. She was just waiting calmly, shooting nasty looks at the various Half-Fiends standing around the area.

Sitting next to Andrea was Yuna, who stared blankly at the ground. Next to her was Paine, who had refused to where a dress for a third time, big surprise. To her left was Baralai, who was there only because he didn't trust Gippal with his robes. Behind Paine was Jennifer, who had swung her chair around and now sat in it backwards, a leg on either side of the back. She stared at the ground as well, trying to figure out what had happened a few nights ago. Little Eve was up at the Arch. She made the cutest little flower girl.

All of a sudden, something burst out of the top of the building behind the guests. It landed in the aisle and rolled to the arch. It was Gippal, and he looked like hell. His face was full of glass, his eye patch was gone, revealing a red, swollen mass, and his hair looked like it got in a fight with a toilet and lost. Which was true for the most part.

"If that's not an objection that these two should _not_ be wed in holy matrimony, I don't know what is!" Everyone there turned to the source of the voice to find Jamie standing at the hole Gippal flew out of. Rikku ran out in her dress and looked up at Jamie. And he looked down at her. She _was_ beautiful.

But Jamie had failed to notice the Half-Fiends that had their gun-arms trained on him. So when he felt a bullet wiz past his ear, he could only think of one word to describe the situation. On he had used too many times.

Shit.

Author's Notes: FDB- Anyone up for killing Gippal? I know I am! Gippal's just a flaming goober.

SDB-Me, I want to kill him! I wanna pop his empty head like a zit! MUAHA! Anyway, next chapter, the story takes on the greater point of this seemingly aimless plot. It's fun crashing weddings…which we seem to be doing a lot in this story. Anyway, let's just put it this way…someone's gonna die. Ah, you are like that of putty in our hands.


	16. Angels Cry

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Angels Cry**

Cid watched the scene unfold from his place by the arch. Needless to say he was furious. He stood there, his mouth gaping and his face turning red as his anger grew. The tension in the area just went from thick to impenetrable.

"What are you just standing around for!" Cid shouted, his half fiends turning heads. "Shoot him!"

Jamie saw the creatures raise their guns and out of instinct grabbed Rikku's shoulders and turned so that his back instead of hers was in the line of fire.

There was a strange sound of something falling over before a hail of bullets roared through the air. Jamie felt one graze against his arm and several just miss him by inches. He suddenly felt something fall onto him from behind and then hit the ground. He almost wanted turn, see what had happened, and convince himself that he was still alive, but his feet had been glued in place. He continued to hold Rikku who was trembling in his embrace. When he heard Yuna gasp in what sounded like horror, he couldn't hold still anymore.

Everyone had suddenly stood up, staring into the aisle where all of this was happening. He saw that their gaze was slanted towards the ground, and that made his own follow without thinking about it. He winced inwardly as he saw Andrea lying there on the ground face down, her body limp and motionless. She wasn't even breathing. When he saw the great hole in the middle of her forehead, blood gushing from it, he pressed Rikku's face into his chest, no wanting her to see it. Everyone there seemed to be shocked at what had just happened. Even Cid showed his surprise. In fact, Jamie would've bet money that he'd shat himself at what happened next.

After what felt like an hour of paralyzed silence, Andrea moved.

An audible gasp resounded through the attendance as she pushed up into a sitting position, groaning as she put a hand to her head. Blood had streamed all down her face and across her forehead. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, getting most of it.

On shaking legs she stood up, wobbling a little. She reached up and touched the whole where the bullet had entered. She shook her head with an irritated shrug, sticking a finger inside and pulling out the piece of metal with a sick pop. She looked at the slug and shook her head again, this time in disappointment.

Jamie watched without blinking. What the fuck! He knew all too well that she couldn't die, but this was just flat out wrong. Something in his gut said that she should still be lying there, supine on the ground. Though he did see it happen, he could imagine every second of what led up to this point; the fiend pulling the trigger, the bullet cutting the air like a finely edged blade, Andrea jumping in front of them and taking it between the eyes. He could see her head thrown back in a whiplash motion, falling back against him, and then hitting the ground. In his mind's eye he could see this and was convinced that she was dead. Yet there she was standing before them all, her heart still beating.

"Cid, you idiot," she barked, her gaze angry and piercing holes through the Al Bhed leader. "I know what you're doing, and don't give me that 'Rikku's best interest' bullshit. You know about the prophecy just like I do."

Cid didn't reply. He only continued to look on in utter shock. The entire audience had a similar look about them, especially after the mention of the prophecy.

"You don't really give two fucks about Rikku, do you? Truthfully, you didn't want the bloodline mixed, did you? You wanted to keep the throne clean, right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it's a little late for that. You can't deny that anymore…unless of course you have cowardice enough to _kill _your own granddaughter."

"Andrea!" Rikku cried.

Jamie's eyes became very wide at that. He looked down at Rikku, his expression very much unreadable. It was hard to define a difference between the many emotions he had suddenly become aware of. She only looked down, out of shame perhaps.

"Andrea…w-what are you talking about?" Jamison asked, his voice threatening to crack. Half of him prayed she wasn't serious.

"Am I the _only one_ who understands!" She shouted loudly. "_Does no one else get it_!"

Out of the corner of his wounded eye he saw Yuna flinch hard. She must've thought Andrea would freak again. At this point, there was no telling anymore.

"The Al Bhed used to rule Spira." Andrea shrugged. "Back in the beginning, before Sin; why do you think they were shunned when Yevon was founded? _THINK_! Of course they didn't what them to reclaim the throne after Sin was gone! Bevelle was the capital of the Old World, and the Guardians were at its center."

"What does Rikku have to do with this?" Jamie asked defensively.

"Do I need to spell it out for you!" she snapped. "She is Cid's _only_ legitimate heir, and he couldn't stand the fact that his granddaughter was a half breed. So he thought to bring _Gimpy_ into the picture, hoping somehow it would fix things." She glared at Cid again. "But it didn't work out, did it?" Cid tightened his mouth shut, grimacing hard.

"Heir? Are saying that…you're serious?"

"No, Black, I'm kidding! Ha-ha-fucking-ha! _Of course I'm serious_! And let's take a look at what's behind door number two!"

"Andrea, don't!" Rikku pleaded. "Please, not now!"

"Black, do you know who that little girl is?"

Jamison looked to Eve and then looked back at Andrea. He nodded his head, reciting what he'd been told about the child's origins.

"Yes, Rikku took her in, but she didn't have much choice considering she's the child's _mother_."

Jamie felt the little light bulb in his head shatter into a million pieces. He took another stunned look at the little girl, studied her closer, and then it hit him. Yes, Rikku was her true mother, and that could only mean one thing.

He looked at Rikku and shook her once in such a way that she was forced to look back at him. Her cheeks were read and there were hints of tears at the edges of her beautiful green eyes.

"Why?" he asked, his voice wavering again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I swear that I was going to…I meant to, honest." She couldn't say anymore.

All Jamison could do was hold her close.

"Cid," Andrea continued. "You put Gimpy on that throne and you've fucked us all. You can't mess around with this like you already have!"

"I only want what's best for my daughter!" Cid finally spoke in his own defense.

"Oh, just shut up, would you? Your voice is giving me Mono." She groaned, ignoring him for the most part. "Maybe if you give up now I won't be forced to give you the royal ass whuppin' you've been asking for with your blatant stupidity."

"I don't have to listen to this," and Cid gave the command for the fiends to attack. They obeyed.

Most of the people attending ran for cover, the usual stayed behind to take care of the problem. As if you didn't see that one coming. Within no more than few minutes, blood was everywhere, alongside body parts and other such organic nastiness. Andrea was having an unusually good time, so much that it was nearly scary.

Jamie was about to join the fray when he felt Rikku press something into his hand. It was Tetsusaiga. He remembered her locking it up on her airship.

"I thought you'd show up," she said, "so I thought you might need this."

Jamison drew Tetsusaiga, throwing himself into the fray, careful of the chance another bullet might try and split his skull. If this were under any other circumstances, he'd take Rikku and Eve and leave, go somewhere that no one would ever find them. But this wasn't those circumstances. He wanted payback for all of this. He wanted to get Cid. He was leveling a horde of fiends with every swing of his massive blade; anything to get at the Al Bhed's throat.

For a moment he stood in a clearing among the throng of chaos. At his feet lay Gippal, still relatively unconscious. He was moving a little, wincing at the shards of glass still stabbed into his skin.

**_'Take him out…you know you want to.'_**

Jamison groaned at the sound of Noct's voice. He could now, no one would notice. His hand trembled, the sword shaking along with it. How he itched to end this son of a bitch's useless life. So many of his worries would cease if he were to die. God, it was so tempting.

**_'Do it…go ahead…no one will care.'_**

Jamie, as if possessed, raised Tetsusaiga, blade pointing downward. He positioned the tip of just over Gippal's chest. Just one strong, downward push. It would all be over.

Just as he was about to follow through with the idea, he heard a loud clang and felt the sword fly out of his hands. It sank itself into the ground when it struck, pinning a half fiend there dead. It was a nice touch, but he still wasn't happy about this.

"Andrea, this isn't any of your business!" He growled.

She stood there with her lance in hand, ready to continue a fight with him if needed.

"No more killing, Black. Even if it is Gippal, I can't let you do it."

"_You_ want him dead _too_; don't deny it!"

"So what? It's not _your place_!" she spat. "It never was!"

"_But it was my choice_!"

Suddenly he transformed into the Cerberus, the head with the wounded eye in the center, showing who was in control. He didn't seem so menacing in the daylight, out side of his element, but still he was a daunting sight. He lunged forward and snapped his jaws around Andrea's lance. They pushed against one another, not giving or obtaining ground against each other. Using the center head, Cerberus bit Andrea's hand, breaking several fingers and laying the skin wide open.

Her grip faltered only slightly, but it was enough. Cerberus pushed and pushed against her, until at last they reached the edge and toppled over it. The city was several hundred feet below.

In a flash of bright red flame Phoenix appeared, the lance clutched in its monstrous talons. It turned over in the air and tossed Cerberus to the ground, putting a large crater where he crashed into it. When Phoenix passed overhead he latched his teeth onto one foot, stopping the Guardian in her path. He forced her to the ground, pouncing once she was flat on her back.

They clawed and gnashed at each other violently, feathers and fur flying all over the place. Cerberus clamped his vice like jaws down on Phoenix's beak, almost shattering it clear off her face. It cracked loudly in several places, chips of it coming apart. Phoenix curled a set of claws around his throat and forced him onto his back. From there it took off, rising a good distance before hurling Cerberus into the great column that supported the Great Altar above them.

Phoenix hovered near the cloud of dust the impact had created, waiting to see if Cerberus would continue. A large chunk of the pillar had been destroyed…he shouldn't get up from that…couldn't…

Cerberus suddenly leaped out of the dust, latching onto one Phoenix's wings. He pulled forcefully again and again until something snapped. Phoenix could not fly for the moment, and he took the opportunity to return to the Great Altar. He strode upward on thin air, reaching the top of the column in a matter of seconds. He returned back his human form, stumbling a little from the exhaustion the change had caused.

Jamison found Tetsusaiga and jerked it out of the floor. It reverted to its smaller size and he sheathed it again. All the fiends were dead now, and it looked as if most if not everyone had long since fled. That meant his target left too. Oh well, there was always next time.

Rikku saw the blood on Jamie and his torn clothes and freaked. She ran to him a nervous wreck. He just put his arms around her and held her still.

"I'm okay, really," he spoke softly. "Everything's all right."

"I wanted to tell you," she was crying. "I swear I was going to tell you."

"I know," he shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Now I know. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know. I wanted to wait until all this was over I guess."

Jamie nodded his head. He understood. "Where is Eve, anyway?"

"She's safe," Rikku replied, having calmed a little. "She's with Yuna."

Jamie nodded again and remained silent. Nothing more was really necessary. He just wanted to hold her.

"I was hoping you'd come for me," Rikku said quietly, her cheek pressed against his chest.

"I couldn't leave you. I had to come," he replied. "You're _my_ wife. No one is going to take you away from me."

There was a long silence. It was broken by words that Jamison would never forget as long as he lived.

"She's _mine_ you filthy mutt!"

Jamison's eyes widened when he saw Gippal standing there, a gun in an unsteady hand, pointed at him. He couldn't stop Rikku as she forced him to turn, allowing her to stand in front of him, in the path of the bullet as Gippal pulled the trigger.

For the first time the sound of a gun firing hurt his ears. Jamie winced at the horrible sound that he could even feel like a vice around his ribs. He felt Rikku gripping tightly to his shirt, felt her body push up against his when the shot struck her. It didn't go all the way through. He almost wished it had. In the back of his mind that was his thought. He felt Rikku shudder in his arms, and then her grip loosened, the rest of her body following suit and going limp.

Jamison watched in horror as her body slid down to the ground, no longer able to stand upright. He dropped to his knees, holding her in his now trembling arms. His breathing hastened and his mouth suddenly went dry. His eyes began to burn with those oh so familiar tears. He impulsively took Rikku's hand, never blinking or taking his eyes off of her surprisingly calm face. She looked up at him blankly through half open eyes.

"Take care of Eve," he could hardly hear her. "She needs her father,"

Jamie couldn't speak. He only watched helplessly as she slipped farther and father away from him. He couldn't believe it was happening all over again.

And then it happened. He felt her heart stop. She suddenly stopped breathing and her eyes closed by themselves. He set her down on the ground, hardly noticing that he was moving at all. He looked at his hands, covered in her still warm blood. He held them in front of his face, trembling and struggling to catch his breath. He clenched his hands into tight fists and threw back his head, screaming in lament. Tears streamed heavily down his face. If it could, the sky would've split and crumbled down at the sound.

He held his head in his hands when he could no longer make a sound, and he cried. On his knees he cried, tears seeping through his fingers and mingling with the blood on the ground.

"I…I-I…didn't mean to," Gippal stammered, finally realizing what he'd just done.

Jamie's head snapped up at the sound of his voice. He drew Tetsusaiga at record speed, swinging it from over his head to strike the floor, snarling angrily. The entire Altar shook at the tremendous force. The blade began to shine with that eerie light, like it had back on the island. True, the moon wasn't out, but he was by far too angry to care about technicalities. It had to be night somewhere.

His eyes were yellow with narrow black slits as he glared furiously at the Al Bhed. His teeth were bared in ferocity, his savage tendencies no longer under his control. He even began to foam at the edge of his mouth.

Gippal dropped his gun, scared so badly he couldn't hold onto it anymore. He watched, petrified as Jamison raised the blade over his head. He back up, further and further until he was at the platform's edge. He glanced over it, down onto the city below.

Just as Jamie swung Tetsusaiga, Gippal jumped, as if intentionally.

The entire Great Altar shook at the force and the column finally began to crumble. The platform began to shift to one side, than the other and then back again, at last beginning to fall. Not caring about his frustration right now, Jamie took Rikku up in his arms and jumped as well, knowing he wouldn't die from the fall. When he struck ground he continued to run, escaping the crash zone.

Dust flew into the air and the ground trembled as the Altar came tumbling down. A small crowd gathered below when everything had settled. This had become such a mess, and it was bound only to get worse.

_(II)_

"Andrea!" Jamie shouted into the commotion. "ANDREA!"

He looked everywhere for her, but couldn't find her. If anyone could help Rikku, it would be Andrea. He still held Rikku's lifeless form in his arms, not wanting to let it go. It felt like Stephanie all over again. He didn't want to believe Rikku was truly dead.

He ran through the streets of Bevelle, hoping to see anything that might lead to Andrea. He ran to the Highbridge, hoping to see someone he knew, and lo and behold, there was Yuna with a little flower girl in her arms.

"Yuna!" he shouted, running through the panicking masses. She turned and must have seen him, because she motioned for everyone else to stop. He reached them and saw that Paine, Baralai, and Jennifer were with her. Jennifer stayed behind Paine, and, thankfully, Paine didn't try to eviscerate him.

"Yuna, where's Andrea?"

"We don't know. We don't know where she could have gone."

Baralai stepped forward. "We need to get out of this mob scene and fast. I know a shortcut to my office. This way."

They followed Baralai through a series of secret tunnels until they emerged into his private study. Jamie laid Rikku down on the table and sat in the chair next to her.

"What's wrong with Rikku?" Paine asked.

"She…she's…" Jamie just couldn't say it.

But Yuna figured it out when she saw the blood on the wedding dress. "Oh…God…"

They were all silent for an eternity. Jennifer was leaning against a bookshelf, staring at her dead twin. Paine was being comforted by Baralai, and Yuna stood in the middle of the room, tears streaming down her face. Jamie sat with his elbows on his knees, slouched over, staring at the floor.

"**You see now, Sera?"** Noct said as he lifted Jamie's head to look at Jennifer. **"You see what has happened thanks to me? This never should have happened. And you know it."**

Yuna looked at Jamie, eyes still blurry. Paine looked up at the familiar voice, and Jennifer just looked horrified. She noticed and remembered the scar across his eye. "W…what are you talking about?" she asked. "Who's Sera and why do you keep calling me that?"

Noct stood and started walking slowly to Jennifer. **"What's the matter, Sera? You were so eager to come out and play last time. What's the deal?"**

"_Rikku died because of Jamison's greed,"_ Sera said through Jen's mouth. That same glow was back. Paine and everyone else in the room were staring at her. _"He wanted Rikku for himself, so if anyone is to blame, it's Jamison. It was never meant to be this way. He was never meant to fall in love with Rikku."_

"**What the blue fuck are you talking about?"**

"She's right, you know," came an all too familiar voice from behind Noct.

"Oh, shit," Jamie cursed as he realized who it was. The Fucking Fayth Kid. The entire world around him went dark. He was standing there with Jennifer and the Fayth kid.

"What's going on?" Jamie asked.

"_We brought you here so we could have a private conversation. Noct can't hear what happens here and the others are unaware that this is happening."_

"Alright then," Jamie said as he turned to the Fayth. "What do you mean when you say 'Sera' is right?"

"It's simple really: You were brought to this world to keep you from killing yourself in his world. You were supposed to find love here. And you did, just in the wrong place.

"When you were dropped into Spira, you were meant to walk south along the Highroad and meet Jennifer in Luca. The two of you were meant to fall in love, and then you would both become the Cerberus and the Seraphim.

"But one thing happened that we didn't count on. Jamie, I'm sure you remember that chocobo from four years ago."

And he did. He remembered all too well his seven minute ride across creation. It was because of that chocobo that he got involved with Yuna and the others.

"That chocobo was supposed to take you to Luca," the Fayth continued, "but it must have sensed the vicious nature of the Cerberus, because it bolted, taking you with it. And thus, you joined Yuna on her pilgrimage.

"But we were in luck. Because along that Pilgrimage, Yuan was destined to be joined by someone who was enough like Jennifer to suit our purposes: Rikku. They _are_ twins, after all."

"So you're saying that I was never meant to love Rikku?"

"What I'm saying is that if you'd fallen in love with Jennifer, it would have been because of the bond between Cerberus and Seraphim forged 1000 years ago. So your love for Rikku is still genuine, contrary to your destiny as it is."

"_But since you love her and not Jennifer, I must leave this body. Which is rather convenient, considering what Noct is about to do."_

Jamie was about to ask why, but the black abyss disappeared and Noct was back in control of his tongue.

"**Yeah, whatever. I'll be sure to tell Jamie-boy that he's been livin' and lovin' a lie for the past four years. But now, Sera, I give you a choice: help me, or don't."**

"_I gave you my answer the day I gave you that scar."_

"**Then I'm sorry, Sera."** _'No! Don't do it, you bastard!'_ Whether Jamie's plea was heard or ignored, he would never know. Noct rushed forward with mind numbing speed and rammed Tetsusaiga through Jennifer's heart.

Blood flew from Jennifer's mouth as she slumped forward. No one in the room could move. They were all transfixed with what Noct had done. A blue light swirled around the sword and spread across Jennifer's body. Noct pulled the sword form Jennifer's near lifeless form and let her drop. But before she did, he whispered something in her ear.

"**I love you, Sera."**

Jennifer's body hit the floor. Noct wiped the blood off of Tetsusaiga and sheathed it. It was about that time that the tip of a sword crashed through his chest, like a scene out of Alien or something. He turned and saw Paine, anger in her eyes, breathing deep.

"You bastard! You killed my little sister!"

"**And I don't take kindly to people stabbing me in the back."** Noct grasped the tip of the sword, broke it in two, and jabbed the severed part into Paine's leg. Before she fell in pain, he backhanded her, sending her across the room. Baralai ran to her side to make sure she was okay. Noct was about to cross the room, when Andrea burst through the door.

Jamie's head whipped to the door. When he saw Andrea standing there, he pointed to Rikku's body and said, "Bring her back."

All Andrea did was stare at him, her expression somewhat unreadable.

He crossed the room in about three strides and grasped her by the collar. "BRING HER BACK!"

"Why should I?" She scoffed. "I think it's poetic, don't you? I lose Dennis and you lose Rikku. We're even."

"Listen, you berserk-o Barbie doll! I didn't kill Dennis! Noct did!"

"**Damn skippy," **Noct said. **"If anyone's getting credit for that, it's me. So don't punish Jamie-boy for something he didn't do."**

"For once, I agree with the cocksucker," Jamie said.

"Whether it was his mind or yours," she never blinked and looked him straight in the face. "You both still have the same hands."

"If you won't do it for me, then do it for her."

"Why should you feel happiness when I can't!" Andrea screamed, grasping Black's wrist and turning it over, almost breaking it. "Yes, I hate that she's gone, but I think I hate _you_ a little bit more."

Jamie turned at an angle that would break the hold, but his wrist broke. He wiggled it a little bit, and it instantly reset it self. "Alright, Andrea, how about this: if you honestly think impaling me will bring Dennis back," Jamie tossed Tetsusaiga to Andrea and spread his arms, "then go ahead."

Andrea unsheathed the sword slowly, not being treated to the amber glow and the transformation, but it was a weapon nonetheless.

"Gladly,"

She walked over to Jamie, got within an inch of his face, and thrust Tetsusaiga into his gut, all the way to the hilt. Jamie grunted, but kept his arms out.

"This may hurt like hell," Black said. "But I don't see Denny, do you?"

_(III)_

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish."

"Crap."

Dennis drew a card from the deck and laid down a pair of sixes.

"Got any nines?"

Dennis handed the nine of hearts to the dragon, who laid down the matching red nine.

"Got any…"

"Wait," Dragon said. "Ah, it's time for us to go."

"What?" Dennis asked. "Already?" You must excuse his not jumping for joy, but he was more or less too surprised.

"Yes. Andrea is under the impression the impaling Jamison will bring you back."

"And…?"

"She's right." Dragon rose onto all fours and started walking off towards a deep purple nebula floating off in the middle of nowhere. It's the Astral Plain, what do you expect?

"But what about the alignment?" Dennis asked, putting the cards down and standing upright as well.

"That will come. Now we must go. And I know you're anxious to see her, but you must wait before reuniting with your wife."

"_What_? Why?"

"That is simply how things must be. I'm sorry, but you have to follow this. At least you're going back, right? Besides, until the alignment, she would never know it was you."

"How so?"

"You will remain in your real form, _my_ form, until I regain my powers."

Dennis looked down at his feet and shrugged in defeat. He figured going back at all was better than sitting here playing card games with him any longer. He was losing anyway.

"Now come," and he held out his scaly hand to Dennis. The White Mage grasped it as the Guardian touched the purple nebula. There was a bright flash of light, and then nothing.

_(IV)_

Andrea yanked Tetsusaiga from Black's gut and let it drop. She didn't feel any better. He'd barely flinched. She wanted to hear him scream, so there was no satisfaction in this. Their eyes locked fiercely, neither of them blinking.

"Puppy,"

Jamie flinched at the sound of his daughter's voice. His daughter. Dear God, what had become of everything he once knew? He looked down at his child and felt his insides flash freeze when he saw her holding her mother's hand.

"Mommy's not waking up," Eve said, looking up at her father. Jamison nearly collapsed. "What made her so sleepy?"

Jamison walked over with feet that felt like they weighed twenty tons. He knelt down and picked up the girl, holding her against his shoulder, watching as Rikku's hand slipped out of her tiny grasp.

"Jamie," Yuna couldn't finish. She meant to say more, even half-heartedly reaching out to him.

"No, she belongs with her father," he said firmly. "I'm taking her."

"When's mommy going to wake up, Puppy?"

"Soon, baby," he said softly, petting the back of her head. "Call me daddy from now on, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," and she hugged him. He nearly began crying. Black started for the door, catching a look from Andrea one last time.

"Father or not, your ass is still mine." She said calmly, but with an arctic edge. "I _will_ get you…count on it."

"You know, Andrea," he thought for a second. "I pity you. I really do. I honestly feel sorry for you."

"Save it," she snapped. "I don't want your pity. I want your head on a plate."

Jamison shrugged and shook his head, leaving Bevelle for good. It would be a long while before they would see him again. It was obvious.

Andrea stood there in the middle of the room for a few minutes, not moving with her eyes glued to the door that had been Black's exit. She was so close, she could've at least ripped his throat out, but no, she surrendered her best chance. She wanted to kick herself. She could've killed him, but I think we can all agree that there's been just a little too much death for one day.

"Did anyone happen to see where Cid was headed when he left?" Andrea asked out of the blue. No one answered. "Find him, and Gippal. You've got to stop them; there's no avoiding it now."

Everyone watched in confusion as Andrea strode over to the table where Rikku's body lay and picked her up. She flinched at how cold she had gotten in such a short amount of time.

"What are you doing?" Yuna seemed appalled by what Andrea was doing.

"You want to know where I was?" Andrea was so annoyed at this point. "I was out there writhing in agony as my head was splitting open with a vision of the future! This is something I have to do. You don't like it, fine! Damn us all then! Now, if you're quite finished, I have places to be."

"What about my sister!" Paine snapped.

Andrea turned to Paine and looked at her flatly. "I saw the future; that I'm certain of, but Jennifer wasn't in it. I'm sorry, Paine. Besides, I wouldn't want her back."

"_What?_" Paine's red eyes narrowed sharply.

"She ratted us out to Cid. I wouldn't want to give her another opportunity to get us neck deep in shit." And at that she left.

There was a long silence. A very long one. Then Yuna clenched her hands tightly and threw her head back.

"WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS HAPPENING TO US!" and slowly dropped to her knees and started to cry.

Authors' Note: SDB- Well, that's a very good question. I'd like to know too, actually. So, will Gippal and Cid get theirs? What is Andrea up to exactly? And what has happened to Yuna's language? The world may never know. Death to Gippal!

FDB- An a hearty Amen to that. And Yuna is turning into a regular sailor, isn't she? And I can assure you that Cid and Gippal will get what's coming to them, if not from Jamie then from me.


	17. Highpulse Weapons and Microwaves

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**High-pulse Weapons and Microwaves**

Andrea took Rikku's body and left Bevelle. She transformed into Phoenix and carried her off in her great talons.

Phoenix flew over the edge of Macalania, passed the Calm Lands, and made the ascent of Mt. Gagezet. She went through the thick, gray storm clouds to the peak beyond, landing on the marble walkway that led to the Guardian's Temple. She changed back into her human form and proceeded to carry Rikku into the temple.

Constant had been the mystic blue light that somehow illuminated the temple interior. It gave the impression on the walls that it was reflecting off the surface of water, casting strange, opalescent images on the stone.

Andrea looked at the sphere pedestal stuck in the center of the single room, muttering something about worthless human junk under her breath coldly. Perhaps that was Phoenix talking at that moment, showing her minor disdain for what she'd helped create. True, she held resentment against the human race, but that didn't necessarily mean she wanted to undo it. After setting down Rikku's body she ripped the pedestal out of the floor, tossing it away down the corridor that she had come from. She made a brief mental note not to trip on it on her way out.

By now I'm sure you've guessed what Andrea is doing. Chances are you're right. Why did she tell Black she wouldn't bring Rikku back? Well, isn't it obvious? For the most part she wanted to see how he would react, how angry it would make him. She liked to watch him being miserable like that. She almost laughed at him when he started screaming at her, when she saw him crying. She thought it was funny as hell. However, in truth, after realizing what Noct had done to Jennifer, everything changed. Now there was no other choice. Without Rikku, no one would survive. It was Andrea's duty as a Guardian to make certain that didn't happen.

Andrea bent down onto her knees next to Rikku and carefully pushed her over. With her back now exposed, Andrea wiped away the blood. Her touch lingered on the bullet hole, making Andrea shake her head heavily. What a mess she'd gotten everyone into. If she had never left that island the Fayth dumped her on…maybe this never would've happened. It would've saved everyone so much trouble. Oh well, no time for that now. She laughed to herself. There was _never_ time anymore.

With most of the blood cleaned, Andrea continued. She snapped her thumb across her index and social finger, making the tips of them glow red. She put them to Rikku's cold skin. A silver wisp of smoke appeared and then faded with a hiss. Andrea's finger moved along a mental preset pattern, leaving behind dark red scarring that turned almost white when it cooled.

"Mine is the Earth, and the Sword in the Stone," she was almost chanting. "Mine is the Throne for the Idol."

She repeated this several times, all the while making the scarred pattern on Rikku's back. When finished the meaning of the markings was clear. It was the same as Jennifer had scarred into her back. It was the wings of Seraphim. Andrea stuck her two fingers in her mouth to make the glowing stop. She then pulled Rikku to lie on her back again, and shrugged as she looked at her.

"I don't want to do this to you," she said quietly. "I don't want you to be burdened like the rest of us. There's little choice now…"

Andrea shrugged sadly. It was the truth. If she could have it her way, she'd let Rikku stay dead. She didn't deserve the responsibility that Andrea had to present her with. It was more of a curse than anything else. Well, Andrea may not have a choice in the matter, but _she_ still might.

Like before Andrea began rubbing her hands together. This time the procedure was slightly changed. Instead of raising her hands over Rikku's body, she kept them together. The red glow came like last time, but didn't spark into flames. The light enveloped both of their bodies.

With her life force having left her body so long ago, Andrea would have to search the Farplane to find Rikku. Yay, Astral Projection, the joy and mirth are endless. In case you haven't noticed, I'm being sarcastic.

Seraphim was the last thing on her mind. Once she found Rikku's soul and brought it back, Sera would be sure to follow. Only after that would everything be up in the air; with the exception of Andrea. She knew what she had to do once this was over. While Sera helped the others sort everything out, she was going to pay Black a little surprise visit. She made a promise, and had no intention of breaking it.

_(II)_

It hadn't been twenty-four hours since the wedding fiasco, and already there were plans of rebuilding the Great Altar and repairing the buildings damaged in its fall. But like I said, they were just plans. They probably wouldn't start with the reconstruction for another week or so. For now everyone was just trying to get over the shock of everything that had happened.

Baralai, Yuna, and Paine had all moved from the Praetor's office into his private chambers; anywhere to get away from the people. Baralai was pacing obsessively, almost to the point where he was wearing a hole in the floor. Yuna was on the couch, doing her best to heal Paine's wounded leg. The difficulty was getting the broken shard of the blade out of her.

Paine just sat there, not really noticing the pain if there was any. Needless to say she was in a bad way. She'd just had her youngest sister murdered in front of her; I would be a little…off myself. Now that I think about it, where had Celeste disappeared to?

"What are you thinking, Baralai?" Yuna asked. It was just too quiet.

"Where do you think Gippal would hide? Having known him for so long you would think I could come up with _something_," he said in mild frustration.

"But you forget," Paine spoke after a long time of being quiet. "Gippal is just an ignorant schmuck. You can't predict people like that."

"Ah, but you can," he argued. "How else would you explain my being able to lead New Yevon?"

"You've got a point there. And with that being said, where could he have gone?"

"I'm still thinking about that." and he continued pacing.

"Djose's too obvious," Yuna sighed. "And there's nothing left of Home."

"Is there?" Baralai asked aloud to himself.

"You've seen it," Paine told him. "It's the biggest scorch mark in the desert."

"True, but this is Al Bhed we're dealing with here. You'd think they were more clever than to blow up their own stronghold without a backup plan or something like that, wouldn't you?"

Both Paine and Yuna nodded hesitantly. In a sense he was right, but that didn't seem to make much difference at the moment.

"So what do you think we should do? Ouch!"

"Sorry," Yuna smirked. It was genuinely funny to hear Paine make a sound like that.

"Well," Baralai had to keep himself from smiling also. "We could always go to Bikanel and check it out."

"In what, a Dixie cup?"

"Don't be such a wet blanket, Paine," he pleaded. "You know that Bevelle has one of the largest air armada's on the planet."

"And you were going to tell me this _when_?"

"Isn't right now good enough? If I'd told you any sooner you wouldn't have cared. I know how you are,"

"And again, you have a point." She gave up trying to start an argument with him. It never worked anyway. Those two just couldn't fight one another even if their lives depended on it. Maybe that's why everyone always knew they'd make a great couple.

"Well, I guess searching a pile of scrap metal in the middle of a burning desert is better than just sitting here doing nothing." Yuna shrugged.

"I agree."

"Fine," Paine groaned. "Everyone gang up on me! Okay, let's go."

_(III)_

She felt so light. It was almost like flying. Despite this she knew she was lying down on something. It was soft, almost non existent. What a strange feeling.

Surprising to her, her body moved when she willed it to. Her muscles felt too relaxed, almost numb. If she remembered correctly they shouldn't move at all. If she remembered correctly…she was dead. Finally she just threw all doubts and uncertainty away and opened her eyes.

She recognized the place immediately. The flowers, the Pyreflies, the waterfalls and purple skies were all familiar to her. She really _was_ dead, and this was the Farplane.

"You don't seem too surprised to be here."

Rikku turned her head and saw who she thought at first was Andrea. Upon a closer look she second guessed her assumption. It looked like Andrea, but her normally brown hair was now streaked with deep red and gold, along with a few feathers of the same coloration. And she was no longer in her normal blue jeans and white shirt. She wore a tight fitting, dark crimson dress, the only strap crossed around her neck and a slit in the side exposing one bare thigh. The Infinity mark was still visible. The palms of her hands were no longer the same color as the rest of her skin. As if she'd put them to wet paint, the palm of her left hand was black, the other white. Life and death. The sacrilegious hands of God. Still her engagement wedding rings were on her finger, ridding piggyback on one another. As if she'd ever dare to take them off.

"Should I be surprised?" She said with a lie of a smirk.

"Well no. I was just saying."

Rikku just nodded and looked out over the great span of the Farplane.

"So how long has it been?"

"Almost three days now. I've been looking for you for a while."

"What for?"

Phoenix…or Andrea, whichever, shook her head and had a sad expression on her face. "I had to."

"What do you mean?"

"Jennifer died…she was Seraphim…one of the four Guardians."

"Hmph," she laughed. "For some reason that doesn't surprise me. But what does that have to do with me?"

"You remember when you and the others went inside my head? Remember that retard in the straight jacket?"

Rikku cringed. "How could I forget?"

"Remember what she said?"

"Vaguely," she said, shaking her head. "Something about the Moon in a shadow, Earth sisters," and then she stopped.

Andrea gave her the "duh" look, and then it hit her. Jennifer was her sister, even if it was only by her father. Jennifer had been Seraphim, the Guardian who created the earth.

…Holy common sense, Batman!

"You don't have to take it." Andrea said quickly. "I can still bring you back with me, but you don't have to become Seraphim."

"How could you?"

"I'm giving you the choice I never had. Seraphim can find another body if she has to. But whatever you decide, I can't undo it once it's done." She suddenly fell to her knees.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…I've just been here too long. This is taking a lot out of me."

"In other words I need to decide like…now?"

"I was trying to be nice about it." She forged a laugh. "But you've got the idea."

Rikku thought hard about this. She had a chance to go back and be with her family, but at a price larger than she thought she could pay. She'd seen what being a Guardian could do to your life, and in all honesty she didn't want it. But what about Jamie? And what about her daughter? She couldn't just leave them behind. But Andrea was willing to waver Guardianship. Should she take such an easy way out? Christ, this was such a big decision.

Finally, after what seemed like a short eternity, she nodded her head heavily. Andrea looked at her, almost heartbroken.

"So?" Andrea asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"If not me then who will?" she tried to smile. "Besides, I want to get back at my dad for threatening my plushies."

"You know what this means, don't you? Your duty as a Guardian will always come first…even before your own family."

"I understand."

"So you accept this? You ask me to do this of your own will?"

"Yeah. And yes, I'm sure. I won't hold you responsible or anything like that. Don't look at me that way; I know that's what you were going to say!"

"Yeah, you're right." She smiled falsely again. "Ready?"

Rikku nodded.

"Hold on," and Andrea held out her right hand. The Al Bhed took her hand tightly and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she found herself inside the temple atop Mt. Gagezet.

Rikku sat up, slightly dizzy. She looked around, getting her bearings straight, finding the ordinary Andrea next to her, holding her head in her hand.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…just exhausted. You all right?"

"It was a nice nap."

"Ha, ha," she was being very sarcastic. "You're a laugh riot. Now, there's something you have to do before anything else."

"What?"

"Seraphim hid a sword somewhere on Spira. You have to find it. Maybe since you two are bound together, she'll tell you where it is. But I wouldn't count on it. Either way, you need to do this as soon as you can." Then Andrea stood up and headed for the corridor leading out of the temple. Rikku jumped to her feet, stumbling slightly, and caught up to her.

"Where are _you_ going?"

"I…have a promise to keep…yeah," she spoke distantly.

"Wait, Andrea,"

"Go and find the sword, Rikku. The rest of us are counting on you to do this." Andrea interrupted urgently. "You _have to_."

"I…I understand."

Andrea looked at her for a moment and then nodded. She then changed into Phoenix and took off, going to God knows where.

_(IV)_

Jamie sat at the window at a hotel in Luca. Eve was sitting on the bed, doodling, and all he could do was stare outside. His wife was dead, and little Eve wouldn't understand. What was he going to tell her? The New York street punk in him told him to just come out and tell her. What's a little emotional scaring going to do? The other part of him, probably inherited from Dias, told him to be sensitive about it. Let here know gently. That was probably what Rikku wanted.

"Daddy!"

It still surprised and hurt him to be called that, but he still turned to Eve and smiled.

"What is it?"

"I made this!" She held up a piece of paper with a large doodle on it. "It's you and Bird Lady and Mommy and Grandpa!"

He took the paper and looked at it. 'Bird Lady' was a huge red splotch in the 'sky' with wings. He was a black splotch with three dots on the top. Rikku was a small yellow splotch next to the black one, and Cid was a taller yellow splotch next to Rikku. Though Jamie could tell that Eve tried to emphasize the chrome dome. He looked at it and felt a tear come to his eye. He folded it up and put it in his jacket.

"Thanks, Eve. I love it."

"I love you, Daddy." And that being said, Eve threw her arms around Jamie's neck.

He almost didn't want to return the embrace. His current track record showed that too many people had died because of him: Stephanie, Rikku, Dennis, and Jennifer. He didn't want his daughter to have the same fate. Even if Jamie tried to get Andrea to bring Eve back, she'd just mutter something like, 'Eye for an eye,' or some bullshit like that, the little bitch.

But he did. He hugged his daughter, not wanting to let go of what little of Rikku he had left. He loved his daughter. Now he truly felt what being a father was like. Now, all he needed was Rikku at his side.

"Hey!" Eve shouted, pointing at the sky. "It's Bird Lady!"

Jamie turned and saw the Phoenix swoop down. He stepped away from the window, pulling Eve with him. Phoenix attempted to land on the window sill, being somewhat too big, and in a flash of light, there was Andrea, crouched down where the Phoenix had just been.

"Hello, Andrea." Jamison was the first to speak.

"Let's cut the small talk, Black. You know why I'm here and you…"

"Bird Lady!" Eve ran up to hug Andrea, but Jamie caught her and pulled her into his arms.

"Why can't I see Bird Lady, Daddy?"

"Not know, Eve. Me and the 'Bird Lady' have to talk. So you stay here and be a good girl, okay? When I get back…" Jamie could have sworn he heard Andrea mutter, '_if _you get back', "I'll take you out for ice cream, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy! I love you! Buh-bye!" And she crawled back up on the bed and went back to drawing.

Andrea jumped to the ground and Jamison followed closely behind. They walked out to the docks and faced each other. The first few minutes were just a stare down. Then, Jamie drew Tetsusaiga. Andrea followed suit and withdrew her spear. Nowadays, Andrea was rarely surprised, but what Jamie did next _did_ surprise her.

He stabbed Tetsusaiga into the ground and walked away from it.

"If we're going to fight, we'll do it hand-to-hand. No help from Cerberus or the Phoenix, either."

Andrea laughed and tossed away her spear. "If that's the way you want it, it's your funeral."

It was like something out of The Matrix. Neither of them landed a blow. They were pretty much evenly matched. Although Andrea had been trained in the Martial Arts, and all Jamie had were street smarts and street fighting techniques. Plus experience in prison. Both of them tried to attack the other, but their opponent either dodged or countered. It went on like this for a while before they backed away from each other, breathing hard.

Then Andrea rushed Jamie, hoping to overpower him. He stood there, still catching his breath. She thought she had him until he reached into his jacket and pulled out a…Moogle doll? What the hell is up with that?

"Thunder!" he shouted, a bolt of lightning striking Andrea. It wasn't enough to hurt her, but it was enough to stun and blind her momentarily. Next thing she felt was something ram through her gut. She flinched stiffly, opened her eyes, slowly adjusting, and found that Jamie had shoved Tetsusaiga through her gut.

"I thought we said 'hand-to-hand'," Andrea grunted.

"**Jamie-boy agreed to that. Not me. Now let's see how _you_ like getting smacked around." **Noct had pulled his arm back to sock Andrea in the face, and she had a look of…either awe or horror, Noct couldn't tell.

He decided it was horror. **"Yeah, you'd better be scared, Phoeny." **He was about to punch her in the face when he felt a set of sharp teeth clamp down on his arm. He looked back and there was the Dragon with Noct's arm in his mouth.

"**Oh, uh, hi Drake! How you doin?" **Noct saw Dragon's eyes avert to Andrea and looked at her himself. He quickly pulled Tetsusaiga from her gut and tried to hide it behind his back.

"**Nothin' goin on here, buddy! How you been?"**

"I've been…_dead_, you imbecile." It was hard for the Dragon to talk with an arm in his mouth.

"**Come on, Drake. Imbecile is such a strong word."**

"Strong yet appropriate."

"**Touché. Well, uh, you can let go now."**

"How about…_no_."

But Noct was two steps ahead. He pulled on his arm hard enough, and managed to get it free. He was missing a lot of skin on that arm, but not his problem.

"Wait a minute," Jamie said. He began to think back on what Noct had said. When he figured it out he asked the Dragon, "Are you…who I think you are?" All the Dragon did was nod.

"When did you come back?" Jamie asked.

"When Andrea impaled you."

Jamie looked around and then looked back at the Dragon. "What the…"

"Yes, I know. Funny how it all turned out, isn't it?"

"**You gonna tell Phoeny? Come on! You know you want to!"**

"Now isn't the right time."

"I whole heartedly agree."

"**Ah! Jeez, where did _you_ come from?"**

"Alright, everyone just SHUT UP!" Andrea shouted at the…four (?) people in front of her.

"Now," she said, slightly calmed down. "Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"**You see, Phoeny, this big guy here isn't just the Almighty Dragon."** He made mocking air quotations. **"He's also mild-mannered mmmm…"**

Noct's right hand had clamped to his own mouth. He mumbled a bit before pulling it away with some difficulty. He stared at it and it seemed to stare back.

"**I don't care if this is Jeeves or Jamie-boy, but whoever you are, you're really starting to piss me off."**

The hand lunged at his face, but Noct kept a grip on it and held it an inch from his face. He struggled against it for a while, but eventually pulled it away and stared at it. It almost seemed like he had control again. But his left hand reached up and tapped Noct on the shoulder. He looked back at it and it pointed in the direction of his other hand. He looked back just in time to get five across the eyes. Noct then started to strangle himself. He punched himself in the gut, poked himself in the eyes, and finally, NUTSHOT! Can you say, 'Owie'?

"**I fusckin hate you bosh," **Noct grumbled in a garbled voice, most likely to Dias and Jamie. By this time he was lying on the ground, bloody nose, swollen lip, and multiple broken bones. He then picked himself off of the ground, punched himself in the face some more, grabbed his wrist and flipped himself over, landing flat on his back.

"This is," Dragon began, "oddly entertaining."

"No kidding," Andrea muttered.

While they were looking at each other, Jamie had jabbed Tetsusaiga into Noct's chest, instigating a sudden spurt of blood from Noct's mouth. He lay there, bleeding, pinned to the ground, and staring at the sky. Andrea and Dragon would have sworn they heard him singing. It was an old sailor's drinking song, but they both recognized it.

"_What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor ear-lye in the morning?"_

Dragon looked at Andrea and asked, "Why is he singing a drinking song?"

"Maybe that beating knocked a screw loose."

"_Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter. Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter. Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter ear-lye in the morning."_

"Should we see if he's okay?"

"Nah, if he's suffering from a brain hemorrhage, he deserves it," Andrea grumbled.

"_Put him in the longboat 'til he's sober. Put him in the longboat 'til he's sober. Put him in the longboat 'til he's sober ear-lye in the morning."_

"Don't you think you're being a little harsh?" Dragon asked. "I mean, most of what Jamison has done has not been his fault. It's been Noct's fault."

"I don't care. Someone has to pay for killing Dennis."

"_Blah, blah, blah can't remember any mo-ore. Blah, blah, blah can't remember any mo-ore. Blah, blah, blah can't remember any mo-ore ear-lye in the morning."_

Dragon was about to talk more sense into Andrea, but they were both shocked to see a woman with six wings stab Masamune into Jamie's leg. He sat up, groaned a little bit, and passed out. The woman looked to Andrea and Dragon and smiled. It was Rikku, but she had a golden aura around her.

"Yeah, I may love him, but that was getting annoying."

"When did _she_ come back?" Dragon asked.

"About an hour ago."

"Ish kem."

Rikku looked down at Jamie and saw that he was still unconscious, but he had spoken. She knelt down beside him and leaned closer.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Ish krem." He coughed and more blood came out of his mouth. "Ish cream."

"Ice cream?" Rikku asked.

"Eve…ged her shum ish krem. She'sh been a good girl."

Andrea stepped forward from her place and stood next to Jamison's body. She prodded him with a toe and he twitched. She just shook her head in disappointment, and reclaimed her lance from the dock.

"He'd better live." She spat.

"You don't sound so worried about whether he does or not," Rikku replied with a cold edge.

"On the contrary. You interrupted us, and I plan to continue where I left off. When he comes to…he knows where he can find me." And she walked away. She would leave Luca.

Dragon looked with a sad expression of in Andrea's direction as she eventually disappeared.

"Why don't you follow her?" Rikku asked, holding Jamie in her arms.

"It's not my place…for now." Dragon sighed sadly. "However…I cannot help but feel a sense of fear for what lies on her mind."

"Is she going to do something…not so Guardian-like?"

"I wish I knew for certain, but I do know that it cannot be pleasant. But, changing the subject; Phoenix and Cerberus must settle this dispute before the Alignment. In fact, _all_ of this must be put into order before then."

"The Alignment? Mind speaking English?"

"I will explain it to you," he said. "Over some double fudge epilepsy."

Authors' Notes-SDB: Yes, I named an ice cream flavor after a mental disorder! Go me! What can I say…chocolate can make people do strange things…hint, hint. So, what is Andrea up to? Well, if I told you that it would ruin the story. I can tell you that chances are it won't be very pretty…not so PG-13 and for the kiddies.

FDB- I voted for 'Double Fudge, Triple Bypass', but it never left subcommittee. And why am I so cruel to Jamie? Do I _want_ him to die? FUCK NO! He's awesome. And Alignment? What? Are we talking planetary? Or…something else…? dramatic chord


	18. What Lies Beneath

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**What Lies Beneath**

FDB- Finally! After many months of procrastination, chapter 18 is complete! And it only took us…9 months? That's long enough to have a kid! Not like me and Shadoobie were making one…no, I've just been really busy between school and my martial arts lessons. I finally made it to black belt on December 18 of last year! And it only took me about eight years to get there. W00t! Anyways, here's the long awaited next chapter of Divine Comedy.

Rikku had been spending perhaps the past hour in the same position, which was with both hands on the railing in Luca overlooking the ocean. Not wanting to draw too much attention she'd done a bang-up job of returning to her normal self. Dragon remained in his own form, not caring that people were staring at him. He was too busy trying to explain everything thus far to Rikku. She could help but feel that even though she'd been through a cluster-fuck plethora of weird shit, that all of this was nearly too difficult for her to believe.

"Okay," she shrugged, "For the most part I get you, but…what's it all for?"

"Well," he paused a moment to give his ice cream another lap of his long tongue. "It's for a very simple reason. It's to restore the natural balance of things in Spira. I know it doesn't sound like much, but in the end it's very much worth it. Without balance there can only be chaos."

"I see,"

Dragon heard her shrug again and felt his countenance crinkle into a grimace. He swallowed his ice cream whole, trying to ignore the brain-freeze, and craned his neck so he could see her better.

"What's troubling you?"

"I'm not sure." She replied.

"You're worried over how Jamison will react when he sees you, aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

_"In fact I am,"_ he thought to himself, but didn't speak. "I can understand why this would bother you. Perhaps you should go and sit with him, wait until he comes to?"

"I've thought about it. I just don't know," her eyebrows furrowed.

"I think you should. It would do both of you well."

"I guess." Then she looked at him crookedly. "We just left him there on the dock, didn't we?"

"Did we?"

"I think we did." She tried not to snicker.

"Oh dear, now I feel just awful,"

"Would you hold it against me if I called you a terrible, blatant liar?"

"Not in the least," and he laughed.

The two Guardians back tracked to the docks to find Jamie where they'd left him. Oddly enough no one bothered to see if he was all right. It was as if no one noticed him lying there with a sword through his leg. Rikku and Dragon both just shook their heads to the thought.

Dragon held a still unconscious Jamie down while Rikku jerked the sword from his leg. He gave just a little groan, and his back arched slightly, and then he was still again. From there they carried him back to the inn, ignoring anyone that watched them, gawking.

They laid him on the bed and then stood back, as if contemplating what to do next.

"Mommy!"

Rikku turned immediately to find Eve squirming out from under the bed to throw her little arms around her mother's neck. Rikku, out of reflex mostly, embraced her daughter tightly, fighting back a few tears. Their connection seemed that much more potent, with Rikku having come so close to losing it.

"Did you enjoy your nap, mommy?"

"I sure did," she laughed.

"Wassamatter with daddy?" Rikku felt Eve flinch when she saw that her father was bleeding.

"Daddy just got into a fight, that's all."

"Did he win?"

"More or less," even Dragon snickered at the comment.

Rikku meant to give Dragon a raspberry, but second guessed herself when she noticed he wasn't even looking up at her. She took a closer look and noticed his paws on Jamie's leg and the gaping sword wound in his chest. Her expression was that of curiosity, but not because she hadn't seen a healing before. Perhaps what struck as curious was the gold chain bracelet around Dragon's wrist. It was out of place to her for only a moment. Her thoughts were trained elsewhere when Jamison took a deep breath, as if sleeping.

"Chances are, when he wakes, his memory will be a tad bit fuzzy. Either way, it may be a few hours before that happens, so it would be a good opportunity to mend his clothes."

"Ah well, it's an excuse to get him naked."

"Mommy, that's gross! Don't you know boys have cooties!"

Dragon broke into an absurd laughing fit. He fell onto the floor and was clutching his sides it was so great a giggle-fest.

"Now, Eve," she was trying not to laugh herself. "Daddy doesn't have cooties."

She cringed and looked over when she heard Dragon wretch.

"Did you just throw up?"

"_Yes_!" he coughed.

"Scaly-butt is funny," Eve giggled.

Finally Rikku gave in and laughed along for a bit. When the mirth settled some Rikku asked if Dragon would take Eve for a while. Dragon understood and let the little girl sit on his back. She mentioned how Jamison had promised her some ice cream and found himself craving it again himself. That would keep the two of them occupied for a good while. Besides, Eve liked Dragon; they could play for as long as they had to. Until the sun set anyway.

Rikku stood stiffly beside the bed for what felt like hours. It was maybe a minute or two, but it felt like so much longer. Finally she unglued her feet from the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. She suddenly felt very heavy. With a shrug she went about the nearly routine task of releasing him from his clothes, starting with his duster and ending with his jeans. Now he was just in his skivvies. She glanced at the damage.

She shook her head and swore to herself at all the holes in his clothes. She was amazed they hadn't fallen to pieces yet. Rikku sighed again as she laid his jeans across her lap, searching her pockets for the things she needed to fix them. Chances are that he'd want his pants before anything else.

Rikku sewed up the tear quietly, listening intently to Jamison breathing. In a way it soothed her mildly frazzled nerves. She didn't notice the minutes pass at their usual pace, but with an uncommon lethargy. She was just finishing the rip in the back of his duster when she flinched, Jamie having groaned almost pitifully.

She put the coat on the floor with the rest of his clothing and shifted her position so that she was turned a little towards him. She watched him closely, half hoping and half dreading for him to wake.

Jamie put a hand to his forehead, massaging it as if he were suffering from a mild headache. He groaned again and forced himself to sit up. Cool air touched his skin and made him realize that he wasn't entirely decent. He incoherently swore as he scratched the back of his head roughly. Jamie threw his legs over the opposite side of the bed and stood up, stretching before looking for his clothes. He suddenly came to a halt at the foot of the bed, realizing that his daughter was no where to be found. With little concern about being in his underwear, he called out for Eve as he went for the door.

"She's fine. She's with Dragon,"

"Oh," he shrugged in relief. "That's good, I was…"

He refused, simply refused. Of what he wasn't all that sure, but he just refused. He refused to move, to speak, or believe his own ears. He continued to stand afore the door, staring at it and feeling himself beginning to subtly shake. It wasn't possible…he had to be dreaming.

He listened as the bed shifted, a spring squeaked and that's how he could tell. Then there were light footsteps coming towards him that abruptly stopped. He felt a presence, and _tangible_ presence beside him. It was like his muscles had turned to cold, rigid steel, and his hands clenched into painfully tight fists. He fought violently with himself, trying to tear his way out of this agonizing illusion. It could be true.

"Jamie," and Rikku placed a hand on his shoulder. She frowned when she felt him flinch. "Jamie, it's okay. I'm here,"

Jamison had to force himself to turn his head. He felt heavy all over. It felt as if he were on the brink of shattering into a million pieces, like an ever so fragile pane of glass. A hard-ass like him feeling so damn vulnerable; who'd have thought it?

It looked like Rikku. It looked like her, sounded like her; hell, it even smelled like her. If anyone knew her scent it was Jamie. His hand moved of its own mind and touched her cheek. He flinched again, having half expected his hand to go right through, like she was a ghost. Jamie turned towards her and put his other hand on the other cheek. Rikku put her hands to his and smiled at him.

"But…but you," he stammered. "I saw it, I,"

Rikku put a finger to his lips. "It's okay now. I'm really back. It doesn't matter how or why, but…hell, you know what I'm saying."

He nodded absently. Jamison closed his eyes and gently kissed the finger Rikku had pressed against his mouth to silence him. He tasted her skin, the same flavor he'd always known. He let out a long, warm breath as if the world had just tumbled from his shoulders. He never realized a tear escaping from his eye and making a break for it down his left cheek. When Rikku went to wipe it away, he couldn't take it anymore. His body ached with the desire to be closer. Jamie felt her soft hand touch him and he forced her to kiss him. Not like he was _really_ forcing her, but you know what I mean. He wrapped his arms possessively around her, almost crushing her against him.

Jamison kissed her deeply, not caring that he was more or less ripping her clothes off. He needed one last piece of assurance that he wasn't dreaming. He had to have her, prove to himself that she was real. What they had together could never be mimicked by a hallucination or some sort of magic illusion. Black lifted her into his arms and took her to bed with him. Never before could he recall having made love to her so powerfully, and wondered if he ever would again, not that it was of great immediate importance to find out now.

Jamison held Rikku against him, trembling and struggling to catch his breath. He was clinging to her, fearing to let go in case there was still a chance she would vanish.

"Love," she said breathlessly. "I need to breathe,"

"S-sorry," and he loosened his grip just a little.

Aside from that little interlude, they didn't speak much. Perhaps dialogue would ruin the moment. But to be perfectly honest, I've been doing pretty damn well about ruining wonderful moments, haven't I?

Jamison reverently drew his hand slowly down the curve of her back, once again becoming familiar with the feel of her. No, there wasn't any tire checking. Well, if you want to get stupidly technical there was, but were not worrying about that right now. Anyway…

He spread his hand, stretching the fingers across the span between her shoulder blades. He felt something odd about it, a flaw in her skin. Last he'd checked, she was prefect. And no, his opinion isn't in any way bias.

"What's this?" he muttered, feeling himself becoming slightly tired.

"It's nothing," she replied. "Don't worry about it."

"No, let me see," insisted and she couldn't really stop him.

He saw the scarred markings on her back and felt his gut twist. "What the fuck is this!"

"Jamie, don't," she said forcibly. "There was no other way."

"Andrea did this, didn't she?" he looked at his wife with a rage she was unfamiliar with.

"She brought me back, Jamie; okay? Can't you just be satisfied with this? Don't be angry with her; it was a sacrifice I was willing to make."

"What sacrifice!"

"What you think?" she asked him smartly. "You already know."

"But," his anger faded to mild dread. "No. No, I didn't want that for you!" he had realized that now she too was cursed, just like him and Andrea.

"It wasn't your decision, Jamie. _I_ was willing to do anything to get back to you."

"Rikku," he whimpered. "God, I'm so sorry,"

Rikku said he didn't have to apologize for anything. She pulled his head to her shoulder and lay back down with him.

"You didn't deserve this, Rikku," he said.

"I know, but _you_ didn't deserve to be without me, and neither did Eve. It's well worth it. Now shut up and hold me."

"Okay,"

He could find further purpose in arguing with her, so he just did what she said. Not that he didn't want to.

_(II)_

Only a few hours passed before a small fraction of the Bevelle Air Armada left its mother city and settled in the open sky above Bikanel Island. Only the flagship landed on the surface of the desert below, leaving the rest of the fleet on standby.

Yuna, Paine, and Baralai left the flagship, making a short trek to the remains of the Al Bhed Home. Like it had been described in his office before, Home was pretty much little more than a scorch mark in the sand. The skeleton of mangled steel erupted from the dry grasp of the sand, as if reaching for the heaven it couldn't claim after its great destruction. Some of the sands around the remains were nothing but ash that had yet to be scattered by the dry Bikanel winds. In the middle of it all was a massive chasm. Like a bottomless pit it descended into complete, soulless darkness. It seemed deep enough to swallow the universe whole.

The three of them stood on the edge of it and looked down, vertigo settling in almost immediately.

"So…who wants to jump first?" Baralai was joking of course.

"Let's rock-paper-scissors for it…I get to shove the loser in." Paine smirked.

"Where's Yuna?"

The two of them looked up to find the High Summoner no longer at their side. She was there only a moment ago.

"Over here!"

They heard Yuna call and looked off in the direction. Apparently she'd found an alternate route into the remains of Home that lay beneath the sands. They came to the assumption that Yuna knew the place better than they did and silently chose her as the head of this little excursion. They followed close behind her as they willingly entered into the uncertain arms of the shadows that lay in the bowels of the ruins.

"It's been a good long while since I was here last." Yuna said aloud, to no one particularly. "I hope I can remember it all,"

"So do I," Baralai chuckled a little.

"Something feels weird you guys. I don't know what it is but….something's just off."

"How so, Paine?" Yuna asked.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have mentioned just now that I didn't! Just…something's weird."

"Well, instead of arguing about," Baralai interjected. "Let's just keep forward. We'll undoubtedly learn more as we go."

The bitching ceased after that, and they continued on. There was a rough steel staircase spiraling downward in the shadows. They carefully followed it, descending deeper below the sands.

Perhaps an hour passed until they thought they'd reached the foot of the stairs. There was still no light at all. Paine decided silently to take point and went ahead of the others, feeling along the walls for something, anything.

"Hey," it sort of fell out when her hand rapped around something, perhaps a lever.

"You find something?"

"Maybe," and she chanced to pull it.

There was a loud metallic "click", and then the screaming of rusted gears. A door slid open, some light shining into the darkened stairwell.

"Where do you think it goes, Yuna?" Baralai asked the High Summoner.

"I've never been here before; at least I can't remember if I have."

"Shh!" Paine lifted her hand to them, gesturing them to silence. "You hear that?"

The other two listened intently for several minutes. When nothing came they shook their heads at her.

"I could've sworn I heard something moving up there." and she looked upward, back towards the surface where they had come. "Come on,"

Paine waited for them to cross into the hallway beyond. She took one last look up the stairs and shook her head, disappointed. She was positive something up there had moved. She was just about to move on when she heard the sound a gain. It was like a great metallic girth was dragging itself across the ground. She lifted her gaze one last time; her eyes becoming so wide one would think they'd fall out of the socket.

"Oh _fuck_!"

Baralai and Yuna heard Paine swear, followed by a great crash, a gurgling sound, and a cloud of dust coming from the stairwell through the open door.

_(III)_

The next morning, Rikku told Jamie that she had some business to attend to. Only problem was, he was half-asleep, so he couldn't really give a coherent response. She only smiled when he mumbled something about being home before dinner and stepped out onto the roof. She hadn't had much experience flying, but it seemed like the only way she could get around without the Pickle. And upon thinking of her airship, she decided that that was where she needed to go next.

She spread her wings, the feathers still tickling across her back, and jumped off of the roof. The first time she had flown from Gagazet to Luca, she had basically let the spirit of the Seraphim take over and guide her. And if Seraphim was asleep, then plunging straight to the ground certainly woke her up.

Rikku felt her wings tilt slightly and catch the wind beneath them. Without any thought of her own, she flew back towards her airship. She looked down at the quickly passing landscape and felt the same exhilaration she felt when her father had taken her up in his airship for the first time. It took her a few minutes to realize that she didn't have any metal under her feet and the familiar roar of the engine was absent.

When she arrived at the airship, she landed and pulled her wings into her back. She saw Eve bound down the ramp and tackle her knees hard enough to make her lose her balance. Rikku fell to the ground as the girl hugged her tightly. She smiled at her daughter, but gave the small girl a strange look when she held out a bottle of blue water.

"What is this?" Rikku asked.

"Anti-cootie cure remedy. Scaly-butt helped me make it. You've been with daddy so long you must be ingested with'm."

"You mean 'infested', right?"

"Tha's what I said, ingested. Now drink up!"

"Ok, ok. I'll drink." Rikku took the bottle and took a small sip. It tasted like blue raspberry. "Hey, it's delicious!"

It was about then that Dragon scrambled off of the airship. He looked at Eve and then at Rikku, then at the bottle in her hand. He looked positively horrified.

"You didn't just drink that, did you?" he asked Rikku.

"Yeah, why?"

"That's not good. That's not good! She put Nitro Glycerin in that!"

Rikku tensed up automatically. She slowly set the bottle down and backed away from it.

"Now don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything!" the Dragon said, moving slowly towards Rikku. "Except pray, maybe."

Rikku slowly backed up, making sure each step was a quiet as possible.

"KRACKA-BOOM!" Eve shouted from behind her mother. Rikku jumped out of her skin and turned to see Eve doubled over in laughter. She even heard Dragon trying, and failing, to stifle his laughter. He eventually broke down into full blooded cackling. They had played a trick on her!

"That is not funny, you guys!" Rikku shouted before bringing her foot down in frustration.

Rikku's eyes went wide as she felt a small fire erupt in her stomach. She felt it surge through her body and felt like her head was going to explode. She staggered a little bit, hearing the absence of Dragon's and Eve's laughter. She then opened her mouth and released a horrendous belch that was shortly followed by a small stream of fire. Seeing that, Eve burst out into another laughing fit.

"What was that?" Dragon asked.

"I don't –belch!- know," Rikku said, her belch bringing forth another burst of flame. "Eve, honey, what is so –belch!- funny?"

Eve was crying from all of the laughter, but eventually calmed down enough to say this: "Scaly-butt thought it'd be funny to trick you into thinking we put Nacho Glitterin' in that bottle, but I thought it'd be funnier if I really did!"

Rikku stared at her daughter for a while and then looked over at Dragon. "You may want to leave. I don't think you want to see this."

"Oh, I understand." Dragon sauntered off and disappeared into the airship.

Rikku walked over to Eve, picked her up, bent her over her knee and took a hand to Eve's bottom. It pained Rikku, like it did all other parents to do that, but she needed to teach Eve a lesson. And come to think of it, this was the first time she had ever spanked Eve.

When she let Eve go, she looked into her eyes and said, "From now on, you stay out of mommy's chemicals and equipment, okay?"

"-Sniff- Okay, mommy."

"That's a good girl. Now go along to your room and play for a while. Mommy has some business to take care of."

"Okay, mommy." Eve slowly walked back towards the airship, but turned and pulled another bottle of blue liquid out of her pocket. "I guess I shouldn't give this to daddy…" She tossed it over her shoulder, into the bushes. Rikku tensed up before the bottle incinerated the bushes. Eve's eyes went wide and she turned around to see the decimated shrubbery behind her.

"Is Bird Lady here?" Eve asked.

Rikku almost laughed. Eve was learning fast if she was associating explosions to Andrea. But Rikku had to play the part of the good mother. "Room! Now!" Eve looked back at Rikku and dashed up the ramp into the airship.

Rikku sighed and walked up the ramp behind her daughter. She found Dragon in the main gathering area. He was sitting there, amusing himself by counting the number of dots on the ceiling.

"Had to discipline Eve, did you?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to."

"Well, it's a good thing you're immortal now, or else we'd have a nasty mess on our hands."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Rikku said before walking up behind Dragon and smacking him on the back of the head.

"Ah!" He ran a scaly hand over the back of his noggin. "What was that for?"

"It was your idea to give me that stuff!"

"So? I didn't know your daughter was _that_ much like you!"

"You say that like _I'd_ do something like that," Rikku stammered, sliding a red bottle further into her bag.

"You _would_."

"Yeah…well…hey, guess what?" Rikku said, trying to change the subject. "Andrea told me to find the Sword of the Seraphim, but I have no idea where it is. Can you help me out?"

"I can't help you, but you can help you."

"Skimina-wha?" Rikku asked, tilting her head.

Dragon sighed and put a clawed hand to his eyes. "Hold still and spread your wings." Rikku did as she was told and Dragon quickly plucked a single brown feather from her wing.

"Ow!"

"Wuss. It'll grow back. Anyway, take this feather and hold it in the palm of your hand." Rikku did so and Dragon continued. "Now, focus on the sword…"

"But I don't know what it looks like."

"It doesn't matter. The Seraphim does. Focus on the sword in your mind's eye." Rikku closed her eyes and envisioned a long, narrow blade emerging from a hilt in the shape of a pair of golden wings. "This is an old location spell Seraphim used to use whenever she needed to find something and we couldn't wait for Phoenix's dysfunctional foresight."

Rikku nodded and focused harder. The image became clearer as the seconds passed. In her mind, it was so distinct one would think they could reach out and touch it. Somehow it would be solid.

Dragon watched as the feather in her palm began to spin. Faster and faster it went, nearly levitating into thin air. Suddenly Rikku opened her eyes and looked at the feather in her hand. It came to an abrupt halt, and she stood silent for a moment.

"Um…now what?"

"Well," Dragon replied. "What does it say?"

"How the hell should I know!"

"Which way is it pointing then?"

Rikku was about to answer before she paused. "Which end is which?"

"You know what…I don't know."

Rikku studied the feather. "One end is pointing that way," and she raised her empty hand and extended a finger pointing towards Gagazet. "And the other end is pointing towards…the bathroom."

"I think you know what to do, Rikku," Dragon said confidently.

Dragon's eyebrow stuck up awkwardly when he watched Rikku snap a long rubber glove on her hand. It reached all the way to her elbow.

"I'm going in," she declared. Dragon soundly smacked her upside the head with a snap of his tail. "Ow!"

"Seraphim would not hide her precious sword in a _toilette_!"

"Really; why not?"

Dragon was about to yell again but had a second thought. He simply shook his head. "The other end pointed towards the mountain, didn't it?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Why not search there first? If you don't find anything," he felt himself shake. "Then you can give St. John a full cavity search."

"Oh joy." And she pouted a little. Why, I'll never be able to tell you.

"Anything you want me to do while you're gone?"

"Drag Celeste out of my liquor cabinet, try and get in touch with Yuna if you can, and get Jamie here if you could. I'd appreciate it."

"I think I can manage that. Be careful, would you? Andrea's still out there,"

"Don't remind me."

And at that, the mortal who would be Seraphim left to find the remainder of her destiny as part of this Grand Design…this Divine Comedy.

_(IV)_

The loud crash rattled the very foundation of the remains of Home. Surely the earth itself shook to the core. Yuna and Baralai entered the chamber where it had emerged, expecting to find a collapsed wall, maybe even a mountain of loose sand, but they were far from correct. There was no such luck. Instead there was a great fiend, the Sand worm, towering over them and gurgling loudly, slime dripping from its mouth. If you asked me, that thing was just a detached anus with a brain. I'm pretty close.

Yuna yanked the guns from their holsters and Baralai drew the bladed staff he knew so well. Almost immediately the worm became enraged and aggressive. It threw its great girth at the two of them, meaning to crush them flat. More scum spilled out of its mouth when it hit the ground, squishing nothing underneath. Yuna leaped into the air, clear over the fiend, unloading the entirety of her pistols into the creature, and landing gracefully on her feet. Baralai took the initiative of the worm's incapacity as well. He charged in, staff spinning, the blades on each end shimmering in what little light was present. He skillfully shred the weapon into the beast, cutting away at like it were made of frail paper.

The sand worm screamed at the pain, throwing its tail senselessly, dangerously. Yuna paid close attention to the flailing appendage, timing her movement just right. She hopped onto the sand worm's back, running up the length of its spine towards its head. She'd long since reloaded her guns. Yuna stuck one back in the holster at her hip, leaving one loose. When she felt she was close enough, she planted her feet and pointed the barrel downwards. If the worm had eyes, the crosshair would be directly between them. Out of habit, Yuna screwed one eye shut, stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth and then pulled the trigger. The gun discharged in a flash of bright red light, setting off a sonic boom that resounded through the entire underground complex, however large that was.

The sand worm reared up its head, streams of muck spilling from around its mouth. With a shrill roar, the sands and dust that had once been settled on the floor stirred up, arose, and cast themselves in all directions. The wind had become in itself some kind of monster. It roared with a genuine rage.

Baralai felt himself lifting off the ground, not to mention the grains of sand in his face. He blindly made a run for it, latching onto anything solid that he could reach. He wrapped his arm around something metal. The wind had picked up to a more horrendous velocity, making the hard steel bit into the thin skin on the inside of his forearm.

Normally spells didn't last this long, not even fiend spells. But this seemed to be going for quite some time. Baralai couldn't feel his fingers on one hand. He felt a piece of debris cut right through his left thigh, the muscles tightening in agony spontaneously. Thank god it wasn't severed completely.

At last, the sand storm stopped, and Baralai plopped hard on the floor, his face kissing metal. He rolled stiffly on his back, retreating to the closest wall and leaning up against it. He looked around, the dust settling. There was no sign of the High Summoner. This worried him, but only mildly so. What worried him more was the worm. It was mobile again. He saw the fiend advancing towards him and glanced at the wound on his led. Blood was staining the floor too much already. Running wasn't much of an option.

The worm made a gurgling sound, like it was hungry…or choking on raw sewage. One or the other. Baralai clutched his staff as it drew closer. He felt himself shaking. Could this possibly be the end of everything?

Suddenly the fiend stopped. Baralai watched it closely. It was making the gurgling sound again, but it sounded more true to choking. He watched as the section of its body meant to be its throat began to swell and manipulate itself. The worm heaved dryly and then wretched. It did this twice before finally coughing something up. It was a ball of slime that somehow managed to attach itself to the worm's "chin". It literally cut the worm down the front, slicing the upper portion of its body in half. The fiend died, and disappeared in a veil of Pyreflies.

The blob of slime was still for only a few moments before it began to stir. Something tore itself out of the muck, a something that Baralai suddenly recognized. It was his wife.

Paine was covered from head to toe with sand worm spooge. She felt like a human hairball. She held her sword tightly, which mattered little considering it was somewhat glued to her hand. She opened her eyes, her brow twitching. She then threw up her head, droplets of grime flying.

"_YUCK_!" Baralai couldn't help but start laughing. Paine glared at him once and it ceased.

"Could we get going now?" she asked through a clenched jaw.

"I would," he gestured to his bleeding leg. "But I'd go awfully slow."

Paine managed to dig something out of her slimy pocket and tossed it to him. It was a bottle filled with bright green liquid.

"Drink it and let's get moving. Where's Yuna?"

"Don't know," and he emptied the flask. His body felt warm on the inside for a moment and his leg began tingling. When the sensation faded he looked at it, seeing that it was fully healed. He stood and tested his leg finding it good as new. Baralai watched as Paine wandered the room, obviously looking for the High Summoner. He unconsciously counted down in his head, reaching perhaps five when he heard Paine calling for him.

He went to her, seeing Yuna on the floor before closing the distance. She was lying on her site at the base of a steel bulkhead. He thought just a small bump on the head when he saw a small stripe of blood on her face, but then he noticed the blood around the edge of her mouth. He felt his gut twist in worry.

"She okay?" Paine asked, her face showing the concern that her voice wasn't.

Baralai only shook his head in uncertainty, trying to wake Yuna. He shook her gently, turning her head to face him. She didn't stir. He asked Paine to roll the High Summoner on her back. Paine barely touched her when she suddenly ripped a scream from the deepest part of her. Her eyes flew open and her hands twisted into fists. Tears immediately formed in her eyes and spilled down her face.

"Yuna," Baralai had to find a way to speak loud enough so she could hear. "Yuna, tell me what's wrong."

"It's my," she forced herself to speak. "My _back_! Holy _fuck_!"

He knew she had to be in some serious pain if she was using language like that.

"We have to get her out of here." Paine was so keen to the obvious these days. She looked at Baralai. "You take her, I'm going ahead."

"But-,"

"You're the only one that can carry her, now scram," and she headed for the exit into the corridor she had been heading before the worm decided to eat her.

"Paine,"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, and be careful."

"Love you too," and then she was gone.

(_V_)

Paine followed the tunnel to its end, finding what awaited her there. And what was there made her allow the tip of her sword touch the floor. Her shock mingled with anger and mild disgust on her face at the scene that greeted her.

The room she had entered was great, very spacious. However the walls all around and the floors were littered with inanimate bodies. Paine recognized them as half fiends, but some of them had the Machina alterations. Still, they lay lifeless, as if in wait for activation. At the center of the corpses (if you want to call them that) there was a table where another of them lay. It was one of the larger fiends, its body so great that most of its limbs hung from the edges of it and slumped on the ground. Its mouth hung partially open, a long dried tongue dangling from it. It was a fiend she wasn't all that familiar with, in fact she'd never seen it. That's what scared her about it.

Two people argued over the lifeless creature, pointing fingers at one another. Paine listened, making sense of the rambling, and putting the voices with faces.

"If we'd just stuck to _my_ plan, we wouldn't have had to go through all of this crap!" a woman spat angrily.

"You're plan wouldn't have worked in a hundred years, ya darn hippie-chick!"

"Don't call me a hippy you _old_, _balding_, half-_baked_ _bastard_!"

"Why do you say things that you know will hurt me!"

Finally Paine had enough with the bitching and stepped forward. If she heard another whiny word she was going to kill everything.

"I hate to intrude on the catfight," she said casually, but forcefully enough to get their attention. Both turned to see her, revealing themselves, even though she already knew who they were. It was Cid, and her dear sister Artemis.

"What the hell are you doing here! How'd you find this place!" Artemis appeared in an angry panic, her face red and her hands clenched into fists.

"Mother didn't raise a fool…which I still can't explain what happened to you,"

"What can I say? Mother didn't raise a dictator either, but I'm still working on it."

"Dictator? Hah! You couldn't dictate your way out of a paper bag if your life depended on it."

"You want me to prove you wrong?" she glared hard at her sister.

"Hold that thought," and she suddenly threw her sword.

Apparently Cid had been trying to sneak off, escape unseen while the two of them sorted things out. No dice. Paine caught him in the corner of her eye. She threw the sword, catching him by the hem of the seat of his pants. He was pretty much stuck there.

"Get comfortable, baldy," she said, watching him shrink and start whimpering. He knew he'd been had. "Now, what were you whining about, sis?"

"My plan was _perfect_! It was _brilliant_, but no one appreciated my _genius_!"

"And what, pray tell, was your genius plan?"

"I was going to conquer the world with the most diabolical of evils!"

"And that would be?"

"_SCRUNCHIES_!"

There was a long moment of silence as Paine watched Artemis throw her hands up in triumph. She cocked up an eyebrow, not exactly sure as to what reason.

"You know what sis? You're a loon."

"I knew you wouldn't understand!" Artemis cried with rage. "No one understands! And since you can't seem to grasp my magnificence, you deserve to die! Sic'em!"

Paine felt her stomach tighten as she watched the dozens of once lifeless half fiends spring into activation. Collectively, she shrugged "oh shit" to herself. She shook her head.

"You know your sorry ass is mine when I'm done."

"Blow me,"

"Sorry, got better things to do,"

The half fiends piled onto her all at once. She had been surrounded form the start and the odds were certainly not in her favor. But since when did she care about odds? It never stopped her before, and she wasn't about to start letting it now.

By the end, she was covered in blood and oil and God knows what else. When she'd seen that her sister had come out victorious, Artemis tried to run. Without missing a beat Paine grabbed a chunk of metal from a dead fiend and gave it a hearty toss. It struck her sibling soundly in the back of the head, sending her to the floor. She was out cold.

"Y-you're not going to hurt me…are ya?" Cid stuttered stupidly.

"I won't…you're not worth my time."

_(VI)_

Rikku touched down on Gagazet, near the pass that led to the Guardian's Temple. She thought as good a place as any to start looking. She followed the chilly pass to near its end, exiting the tunnel that opened to the marble pathway. It would take her to the temple. She kept her mind open to perhaps grasp onto some remnant of the sword, anything she could at this point.

Rikku took the marble pathway to its end. Her Sera senses started tingling as she passed beneath the arch, but it wasn't something that settled well with her. It felt…unbalanced. Unstable seemed more accurate, actually.

"You were already miles away before I realized what was going on." The voice came from the arch above her. "I didn't know the sword was here until I'd let you go."

"It's all right; I needed some time to get used to my wings anyhow."

"Black was mad, wasn't he? When he found out?"

"Yeah, he was. I tried to explain to him that it was the only way. So what are you doing here, Andrea?"

"Don't know, really. Don't know much of anything, to be honest."

"That's not true. Maybe you're just a little confused."

"Could be," She shrugged. "However, I _do_ know something."

"And that would be?"

"I'm angry," she replied flatly. "I'm angry at the world…I want it to go away. I want to be left alone."

"You know that isn't what you want. You know that deep down you want the exact opposite of that."

"Either way," Andrea shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I want anymore, does it? Never has, now that I think about it."

"I hate to say it, Andrea, but you really do scare people sometimes. What else are they supposed to do?"

"They could try understanding…want to help me for a change."

"But didn't Dennis-,"

"_Dennis isn't here_!" she snapped suddenly. "Because of _Jamison_; he never hurt anyone and that son of a bitch _murdered him_!" Andrea had dropped down from the arch and was now standing before Rikku, her face reddened but still pale. She looked like hell, like she hadn't slept in days. Was she back on the drugs?

Andrea shook an accusing finger at her and shook her head before turning away suddenly and doubling over to her knees. Andrea wretched and threw up. But it wasn't previously digested food, but fire. Not like Rikku was spitting up earlier, but Phoenix fire.

"You…are you all right?"

"Am I ever?" Andrea coughed. "I've been sick like that for the past couple of days. Just a morning curse is all."

There was silence for a moment. "So…can you tell me where the sword is?"

"Yeah, I can," Andrea nodded, standing upright again. "But that doesn't mean I will."

"Well…_would_ you tell me where the sword is?"

"…No."

"Why not; don't we need it for the whole balance thing you keep going on about?"

"True…but maybe I don't want things to change. Shouldn't I have a choice?"

"You said so yourself…our duty comes first."

"True," she nodded her head. "Still, I can refuse if I want. I'm still human in my own right, I still have freedoms."

"No you don't. Neither of us do anymore. Now you really are being selfish."

Andrea laughed coldly. Hell, it couldn't even be classified as a chuckle. There was no emotion behind it. It was more like a controlled cough. It was just short of nothing.

"So? Don't I deserve to be a little self-centered for once?"

"You picked a hell of a time to do it!"

"In case you haven't been paying attention, you're timing isn't so fucking keen either."

Rikku shrugged angrily. "Never mind this now, we can argue later. Please, Andrea, just tell me where the sword is so that we can move on with our lives."

"_Our_ lives; oh, so I'm back in the family loop now? Gee thanks, now I feel all soft and cozy inside."

"Are you really?"

"Hell no; and I'm still not telling you. In fact, I think the voices in my head are telling me to stop you. Yeah, imagine that. At least they're not telling me to run around Spira in my birthday suit anymore."

"I guess that's a good thing."

"Indeed. I can't tell what I'm going to do next anymore."

"You're going to let me get that sword, how about that?"

"Nah, I don't like it." Andrea reached out to lay a hand on Rikku, to stop her like she had intended.

Faster than Andrea had ever seen, Rikku knocked her soundly in the temple. She never saw it coming, but felt it well enough. She staggered back, holding that side of her head.

"Damn, you hit like a girl! Yuna hits harder than-ooh look…ah…would you look at that…a b-brain hemorrhage," and her knees buckled beneath her. "Ooh…c-crap,"

"Sorry, Andrea, but you needed that. Get yourself together, would you?"

"I'm s-still coming for him," Andrea strained to speak. "I'll come for you too…if you g-get in my way again."

Rikku looked down on her in pity, but only a moment before shaking her head and moving on. She would find the sword without her help. She was Seraphim, she would do what she had to.

SDB-Probably going to start wrapping it up soon. Sorry this chapter took so long. You know how things can get sometimes. Anyway, hopefully someone will die in the next chapter and it won't take so long to finish.


	19. Fiend for the Fans

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter 19**

**Fiend for the Fans**

Paine was starting to lose her patience as she circled that bald man tied to a chair. Actually, she had lost her patience years ago as a result of having to deal with Gippal on a daily basis. But nonetheless, she was starting to get angry at Cid as she interrogated him.

"I'll ask nicely this time: Why the fuck were you working with my sister to bling up the half-fiends, you twisted sack of hot air?" That's about as nice as Paine gets. At least she didn't call him 'Baldy'! Cid still refused to answer.

"Answer me, Baldy!" Spoke too soon, I guess.

"Why do you care anyways?"

"Because your half-fiends and their 'enhancements' have been fucking around with our lives for too long. Now, you will either answer me or I will get a little, shall we say," she pulled a jet black gun out from behind her and held it next to her face, "nasty."

"Don't get rash now, darlin," Cid pleaded.

"'Darlin?'" Paine's eyes narrowed. "Are you talkin' to me?"

Baralai's eyes went wide when Cid said what he did. "Oh, no," he said. "He called her 'Darlin'."

"Huh?" Yuna looked as confused as ever. She sat on the sofa with the Praetor, trying to get over the dull pain that still settled in her lower back. It was still sore from the battle with the sandworm. She'd been thrown into the steel bulkhead and recalled hearing something snap. Fortunately it was nothing a few White Mages couldn't fix.

"Are you talkin to me?" Paine walked closer to Cid.

"He shouldn't have done that," Baralai whimpered, slowly moving to the floor.

_"Are you talkin to me?"_ Paine pointed the barrel of the gun right at Cid's shiny melon. Cid squeezed his eyes shut.

"He's in for it now," Baralai shouted. "Yuna! Hit the deck!" Baralai grabbed the High Summoner by the arm and pulled her to the ground.

Paine pulled the trigger.

_POP!_

Cid slowly opened his eyes and looked up. Sticking out from his head was a small, yellow, suction cup dart.

"That's _Mrs._ Darlin to you." She pulled the trigger again to emphasize her point.

_POP!_

Another dart sprang from the gun and stuck to Cid's head. Paine looked at the gun and then back at Yuna and Baralai, who were just getting off of the floor. When they looked at Paine, she was actually smiling.

And from the deepest, darkest reaches of space, a cosmic collision sent an asteroid careening towards Spira. The asteroid crashed right in the middle of Bikanel Desert and sent up a cloud of dust so thick that it blotted out the sun and plunged Spira into an Ice Age the likes of which it had never seen. All manner of creatures died: Fiends, half-fiends, humans, Guado, Al Bhed, Chocobos, Mogs, and even the Hypello (but no one cares about them).

The only species that didn't die was the Ronso. Their thick fur and adaptation to the cold of Gagazet made them immune to the extreme temperatures. And thousands of years later, after the ice had melted, the Ronso were left as the reigning species on Spira, left to recreate Spira in their image and rule a land that follows their beliefs. Under the Ronso rule, there would be no war, no strife, no famine, and in general the world would be a much better place.

But this is what really happened. (And you though Paine smiling would bring the Apocalypse, didn't you?)

Yuna and Baralai stared at the smiling Paine for a while. They had better cherish this rarest of moments.

"You know," Paine said, "this is a lot more fun than it has any right to be." She pointed the gun at Cid again and pulled the trigger three more times.

_POP-POP-POP!_

Three more darts stuck out of Cid's head. He looked at them, and then at Paine. "That was a dart gun the whole time? Damn, I nearly messed my drawers."

"Yeah, this is just a dart gun." Paine pulled an identical gun from behind her back. "This one, however," she pulled the trigger and the gun gave a loud report and produced a hole in the ceiling, "is very much real."

"Watch the airship, honey," Baralai pleaded. "And don't you think you're being a little rash?"

"Is the couch that comfortable, sweetie?" Paine asked. "Because you seem _so_ eager to sleep on it tonight."

Baralai swallowed hard and sank back into the cushions. He remained quiet, knowing that Paine was far from kidding.

"Now, again, for the _last_ time," Paine returned her attention to Cid. "Why?"

Cid looked at the floor, his shame showing. He shrugged and shook his head. "I wanted what was best for my daughter."

"Don't give me that," Paine scolded in disgust. She'd heard this bullshit before.

"It's true! But…you're bird friend was right too, I wasn't just thinking about my family. I wanted the Al Bhed to be strong again!"

Yuna looked at Cid sadly, and he managed to catch her expression. It only increased his self-loathing, you could tell by the look on his face.

"I didn't mean to hurt nobody, I swear it!"

"No one except for Jamie?"

"Well, yeah…but he doesn't count! That boy ain't nothing but a monster! He's a freak of nature, needs to be put down for _good_!"

"All of this time he's done nothing but try to protect us," Paine stood up for him. Yeah, I know, alert the media.

"Then how do you explain what he did to Jennifer!"

Paine and Cid locked gazes for what seemed the longest time. It was almost frightening. Suddenly, Paine's expression softened.

"I don't have to explain a damn thing to you," she said coldly. "But you'll be singing a good tune once we sit you in front of the judges in Bevelle."

"You're putting me on trial!" he sounded surprised.

"Well, as tempting as killing you now is, I still feel like it would be better if we…." She cringed and had to force herself to finish. "F-followed the law."

"You okay, dear?" Baralai asked with a smirk.

"Zip it."

And he shrank back into the couch again. He felt the couch threat looming over his head. Honestly, after the day he was having, cuddling up to the warm, comforting side of his wife sounded great.

Cid looked up at Paine as if pleading, begging her to be kidding.

"We'll see that the trial is fair, Cid. You shouldn't get more than….oh, twenty years…give or take."

"Twenty! Great Gaia, girl! Don't you know how old I am already! I'll be long beyond gray by the time I get out of the slammer!"

"But no one will be able to tell, turtle-top." Paine put the gun away and spoke nothing more to Cid. His mouth hung ajar as she left the room, going God knows where. He looked to his niece, panicking. No one seemed to notice Baralai get up and follow his wife out.

"Yuna, can't you help me?"

She looked at him, almost ashamed, but certainly hurt in some way. "I'm sorry, Uncle." Yuna hated to admit it, but Cid's actions had damaged them all in one way or another. Part of her wanted to do something, anything to change the way this had to be, but the other parts of her were fixed on the contrary.

Out in the hallway, Baralai felt something spur in him. It was something very different than what he was accustomed to. It made him pursue Paine down the corridor very closely, almost stalking. He felt his palms beginning to get slick and his heart pounding hard, but still steadily in his chest. His vision seemed to tunnel slightly when he caught up with her.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked firmly, almost demanding.

"Um, sure, I don't see why not. What's the problem?"

"No problem," he replied shortly.

"So…talk,"

"I'd like to do so in private, if you don't mind."

"It's all the same to me,"

_Good_. He thought to himself. _Very good_; he had a distinct feeling that things were going to get slightly out of hand. In fact, he knew it.

The two of them returned to their state room, and Baralai closed the door behind them. He silently turned the lock, the motion going unnoticed by his wife. Paine leaned against the post at the foot of their bed, almost lounging as she crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at him with an expression that gestured for him to speak.

Baralai shrugged. "Paine, I'll be frank with you," he paused. "I don't like how you're threatening me with the couch so much."

One of her eyebrows lifted up and she wasn't sure how to reply.

"You don't know what it's like to having to save face all the time. How am I supposed to lead people when you belittle me so much?"

"Baralai, if that's how you feel about it, I'm sorry. I never meant it that way. Most of the time I'm just kidding."

"I can understand that, but you only seem to do it when there are people around, people who respect me. When they hear you say those things…how do you suppose they look at me? They take me for a weak leader who can't even handle his own wife."

Paine had never seen the look on his face that he was presently carrying. It was one of hurt, embarrassment, and maybe even anger. It was so out of his character that she couldn't help but to take it seriously. Paine leaned away from the bed and stepped up next to him. He stared at the floor, his own feet to be particular. She waited for him to look up at her and then smirked.

"I'm sorry, Baralai. I won't do it anymore, promise. I'll just have to cut back," she said casually. "Just boss you around in bedroom."

Baralai smiled, his eyes narrowed. "Oh no; It's about time I showed you who's head of this family,"

Unexpectedly he gathered her up in his arms and took her to bed. He more or less tossed her down and pinned her there, his legs on either side of her, and his hands tight around her wrists. She looked up at him with widened eyes, utterly surprised at his behavior. She couldn't react, found herself unable to. Baralai straightened himself only long enough to remove his robes and his shirt. He leaned down again and took hold of her wrists once more. Baralai glared at her with a predatory gaze.

Paine opened her mouth to speak, finally managing to, but it was no use. Baralai pressed his lips to hers with moderate force, denying her. He grinned when he felt her body arch up against his. He laughed softly and forced his arms beneath her, pulling her against him as he shifted his position so that her head would rest on the plush silk pillows at the top of the bed.

Baralai meticulously undressed her. After being swallowed and spat up by the sand worm Paine had to change clothing. She chose an indigo blouse, which he slipped off of her button by button, and her usual black leather shorts. Her boots were still covered in slime, so she was satisfied to go barefoot.

"You know," he almost whispered. "You're making this incredibly easy for me. I half expected you to be fighting me tooth and nail by now." He slid her shorts and anything else she wore down her legs at an agonizingly slow pace, eventually tossing the garments to the floor.

"W-well," she stammered. "I understand that I've been a bitch lately-_whoo_!" she bit her bottom lip as she felt cold air being blown across her stomach. Baralai laughed.

"That had to have been the most girly sound I've ever heard you make," and then he gently bit her just below her belly button.

"That is s-_so_ not fair!" She managed to lift her head and focus through the haze that had suddenly clouded her mind. "Hey, aren't you a little over-dressed?"

He crawled up the length of her, planting feather kisses randomly, placing a supporting knee between her thighs. His face hovered millimeters above her own. Her eyelids closed half way, her breathing becoming somewhat labored, coming from her in short, shallow gasps.

"I'm getting to that," he whispered. "Close your eyes, Paine,"

She didn't for one reason or another.

"Close them," he spoke with a little more force, and she obeyed.

Paine expected him to kiss her, and parted her lips slightly. To her surprise she felt the warm, moist tip of his tongue, tracing the outline of her mouth. Nerve endings she was never aware of sprang to life and it made her stomach twist in a god-awful knot. She struggled for air. From her lips he dipped lower, to her chin. He drew his tongue over each side of her jaw in turn, taking a moment nip at her ears. He brushed over her lips again, kissed the tip of her nose, then across her forehead to her hairline.

Where his tongue had been became chilled with the air as he pulled away. There was a moment where he appeared to have vanished, Paine was no longer aware of his weight, or his hands still around her wrists. She felt the warmth of his breath returned as he paralleled his lips with hers, both touching just slightly, and not fully kissing her. She felt him smile and growled in frustration. Baralai laughed again.

"You must be really mad at me," she panted, just now beginning to struggle. "I said I was sorry,"

"Oh, no," he snickered again. "You misunderstand; I'm not angry at all. I'm just feeling a little…_vengeful_."

She didn't notice him pushing her hands closer to the headboard, and only shivered when she felt cold metal on her skin. However, when there was an unfamiliar metallic click, her eyes flew open and she found herself incapable when she reached to grab him by the shoulders.

Baralai laughed aloud as he slipped off of the bed and watched as her expression changed. He stood by with his hand over his mouth, trying his hardest to hold it back.

"Baralai, I swear I'm going to skin you alive when I get out of this! Baralai…don't you walk away from me! You un-cuff me right this second, or so help me I'll…Baralai? _Baralai_!"

He didn't leave their bedroom, but he went to where he was out of sight. Needless to say, Paine wasn't at all happy about this. Well, she though in frustration, he wanted vengeance. Now he had it, surely so.

"Baralai?" she called, having calmed down. "Baralai…love? Could you please unchain me now? I really am sorry about all that,"

"Not until you say it," she heard his voice from somewhere.

"Say what?"

"You know,"

"What are you talking about, honey…s-snuggle-bunny," she was getting desperate if she was using pet names. "…p-pookie-bear?"

"You know what I want to hear," he sounded so damn smug.

Paine struggled angrily with herself. If she gave in, he'd win, and she'd never have leeway in the bedroom again. If she said what he wanted, that would be it. Her position as the alpha would be dissolved. Well, she supposed anything was better than being chained to the bed. She very much disliked feeling helpless and alone, that had to be the biggest turn-off possible for her.

Well, if it would get her free…

Paine shrugged. "Fine…you're the high and mighty sex-commander of the universe with an ass that won't quit." There, that wasn't so bad.

"_And_?" she cringed at his arrogant tone. He knew she was miserable, having to give up her throne like this.

"And," she gritted her teeth. "_You_ wear the pants in the family."

"I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that last part."

"I said you wear the pants," she spoke just a little louder.

"What was that?"

"_I said YOU wear the PANTS_!" she shouted.

"Now _that's_ more like it." He appeared in the doorway that led to their private bathroom, stark naked. His hair had been released from its ponytail and tumbled carelessly onto his shoulders. Paine craned her neck so she could get a better look.

"Oh my," she muttered, thinking he wouldn't hear.

Baralai stepped resolutely over to the bed. He almost swaggered, but not quite. There was certainly a new air of dominance around him, and she could see it in the grin he wore. He reclaimed his former place above her, this time nestling himself between her legs and lowering his hips so they touched hers. He still supported most of his weight on his hands, which fisted in the blankets. His grin widened when he felt her body shiver and he shifted a little.

"So," he said casually, looking her squarely in the eyes. "Have you learned your lesson, darling?"

Audible gasp! He called her darling!

"Y-yes," she stammered. "Please, Baralai,"

"Please what…let you go?"

She could only nod her head. Boy, if he didn't have her like putty in his hands.

"No…I'm not quite through with asserting my new dominance yet."

The attention he gave her was bittersweet torture. He gave her what she wanted, needed, but at such a slow progression that it damn near drover her crazy. She pulled hard against the metal that held her fast to the bed, the handcuffs biting into her wrists.

"Damn it, Baralai," she growled "I'm going to fucking _end_ you!"

"I'll be satisfied with just fucking," he laughed. "Never mind the ending," then he opened his mouth and placed his teeth around her throat. He tightened his jaw ever so slightly; he could feel her swallow. He could feel the wisps of each breath she took, and could even feel the strong, steadily increasing pulse under his canines.

"I've n-never seen this side of you before," Paine gasped, almost not daring to move at all.

"Hm, it's been on the couch."

"Touché," she laughed softly.

"So tell me again," his hips shifted. "Who wears the pants?" and he thrust into her forcefully, but not too much so.

"_You_!" Paine's back arched hard into him.

_(I)_

Yuna sat where she was quietly. She felt a bit homesick. The guards had taken Cid to the brig perhaps an hour ago and she hadn't moved since. Things were so screwed up in her head right now; she wasn't so sure as to how she should really feel. Why were these things happening? Was it just that her extended family was bad news? She couldn't be sure, and she sighed sadly over it.

A few more minutes passed and she heard the door open. Paine walked in, or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say what was left of her. Perhaps if she'd allowed her hair to stay a little longer, it wouldn't have looked nearly as disheveled as it did. It was as if Paine had jammed her finger into a light socket…or two. Her blouse was buttoned incredibly wrong, several buttons not even fastened, and Yuna noticed a portion of a pair of a broken manacles around her wrists. The High Summoner's eyes widened and she looked at Paine, who was currently looking at the floor. Only a few seconds passed before she looked at Yuna and smiled somewhat crookedly.

"You…okay?" Yuna dared to ask.

Paine only shook her head. She looked dazed.

"Where's Baralai?"

"Sleeping,"

"Then what are you doing here? Don't you think he'd want you with him?"

"Yeah, just wanted to see if my legs still worked," and then she got up and left again.

Yuna watched her leave with a half slackened jaw and unblinking eyes.

The mental image that suddenly flew into her head as to what had happened to Paine forced the High Summoner to reach for a cushion off of the sofa, and press it to her face to stifle a scream.

_(II)_

Somehow she'd ended up here. The few seconds that led from being in the temple and then down here, wherever here was, were foggy. She could clearly recall stomping her foot in frustration, the floor caving way and opening up beneath her, and her calm yet hopeless exclamation of "Oh balls," as she fell through. The space that surrounded her was too narrow to fly, so using her wings would do her little or no good.

When she'd settled herself on solid ground, almost immediate she realized that it was warm; very warm in fact. The great cavern she'd stumbled into was a-glow with a fiery orange light, which could be easily explained. Around the stone on which she stood, surrounding it entirely was lava. It burbled and belched sulfur gas but didn't seem to be active otherwise; apparently, all of this time Mt. Gagezet had been a dormant volcano. Rikku took a step back, almost tripping on something. She turned and found a spiraling stone staircase leading back up the way she came.

"The universe hates me," she whined to herself.

_The Sword, Rikku. The sword is here._

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to that. Don't get your toga in a twist."

_I don't wear a toga. What is a toga anyway?_

"Beats me; I think it has something to do fraternities and waffles, and alcohol. Andrea told about them once, I forget though."

_Never mind that then, let's move on._

Rikku shrugged and looked around. There weren't many places, but what could it hurt? She discovered carvings on the walls of the cavern and almost instantaneously recognized them. It was the Four Guardians. However, there was something more to it; it contained a cryptic sort of meaning that the tapestries in Bevelle did not. On the far left, the sun, the moon, Spira, and what looked to be a star were all arranged in a line. Beneath each symbol was its corresponding Guardian. The second set of carvings had the same line, only the symbols were closer together. The Guardians had been rearranged, and it appeared that Dragon and Seraphim were opposing Cerberus somehow. Phoenix loomed above them almost menacingly. The next set had the symbols that much closer to one another, and this time Phoenix and Cerberus faced each other with talons poised and fangs at the ready. Rikku looked on to see next set, but was troubled to find there were none. It struck her with a mild sense of dread; the anxiety of not knowing how the story ends.

_Don't worry about this now, there will be time later._

"But…what happens?"

_Only phoenix could tell you for sure. Perhaps. But, as I said, worry later. Now you must find the sword._

Rikku took a last glance at the etchings with a weary shake of the head.

_There, below you; look where you stand._

Rikku heard Seraphim and did as she suggested, looking down at the rock beneath her feet. Though there was light, it was somewhat difficult for her to see, and it took a moment of squinting to notice the earth seal cut into the rock.

_I remember I hid the sword here._

"Where…beneath the seal?"

_Yes. You have the strength, force your way through and get the sword!_

Rikku shook her head, muttering "crack-head" before kneeling and taking a closer look and the ground. It was solid rock, at least a foot or so of it. She traced the seal with her fingertips, the stone coarse and dry. It felt like lumpy sandpaper under her hand. With little more hesitation, she pulled her hand back, clenched it into a tight fist, and thrust it downward.

The blow broke through the rock, and Rikku's hand was greeted with incredible heat. It was very hot, but it didn't appear to burn her. There was discomfort, but no serious pain. Rikku reached further and further down, guiding her hand blindly through whatever space was below her.

At last her hand came to something cool, something solid. She gripped it tightly, cringing a little. At first it wouldn't give when she attempted to pull it free. She gave it a series of stern jerks until it finally relented. Whatever it was had a considerable weight to it, but it was just enough so to where she could lift it with little effort.

The blade of Seraphim emerged from the clutches of the fire. Rikku stood, feeling a shiver of fire and ice shoot up her back and into the back of her head. She wavered slightly, somewhat dizzy, but quickly righted herself again. She looked at the sword in near admiration. The weapon was perhaps the same length as her arm from social finger to shoulder, give or take. The blade was double edged, and the hilt was solid gold and encrusted with many a precious and semi-precious stone. The crossbar was an intricate molding of the six wings of the Seraphim unfurled. At the very center, where each wing met, there was an emerald.

_It's a thing of beauty, that sword._

"Yeah, snazzy. So we can go now, right?"

_If you feel the need to do so, be my guest._

"Finally," she shrugged and started for the stairs.

As she was aiming to take the first ascending step, the mountain began to shake. At first it was a small tremor, and then it became violent. Even the lava that was once still began sloshing about, hissing as it touched things cooler than itself. The mountain groaned, not pleased with the disruption.

_Something is wrong,_

"You think? Man, you're a smart one,"

The magma shot upward with a belch. Rikku turned towards the sound, expecting to see some sort of lava beast. She should be so lucky.

She turned to find Ifrit, but he subtly different than when she last laid eyes on him. He seemed bigger…frighteningly so.

The Aeon pounded his knuckles on the ground, more lava splashing.

"Give me the sword!" he snarled, stretching out one clawed paw.

At first Rikku wondered what the Aeon could possibly want with Sera's sword, but then it hit her. That wasn't Ifrit at all. Why this didn't cross her mind right away, she would never know for sure.

"You can't stop this, Andrea. You know that as well as anybody; it _has_ to be this way."

"_Give me the sword_!" Ifrit roared.

"Listen to reason, would you!"

"_Give me the sword or I shall TAKE it from you_!" the Aeon foamed at the mouth, steam blasting from its flared nostrils.

Rikku found it useless to speak reason to her. She was too far gone. The Al Bhed knitted her eyebrows tightly, glaring at the Aeon sternly. If it was a fight she wanted, she would have it. Rikku held her sword at the ready in front of her.

_We don't have time for this, you know._

Rikku didn't reply, but made a mental note of it.

Then Ifrit charged.

_(III)_

It took some doing and a few bouts of miscommunication, but in time the entire group was back together. Well, aside from the obvious exceptions. Rikku returned from Mt. Gagazet in the late afternoon to the Pickle. As she'd asked, Dragon had brought Jamison from Luca, and somehow managed to manhandle Celeste away from the booze. Mind you she was sleeping it off in one of the state rooms, but still. Someone had gotten in touch with Yuna and the others still abroad; by the time she had arrive Jamie told her that they were on their way.

By the time the moon had began peeking over the horizon and reflecting off of the Moonflow, Paine, Yuna, and Baralai were all present and accounted for. They shared their stories over a quick meal.

Rikku's head drooped. She really didn't want to have to face the fact that her father was a poopie-head.

"Don't feel bad, Rikku," Paine said. "If it makes you feel any better, my sister tried to get us all killed. So compared to that, you're dad is a saint…a bald one, but still."

"I know, and thanks for the encouragement…I think. Still, I hate this. I can't believe he would do something like this." And she pouted a little.

Jamie put a comforting arm around her and held her close. She looked up at him a smiled, though she still felt sad.

"So, what you're saying is that Andrea is trying to stop the Alignment?" Yuna asked.

"I think so. Something close to that anyway. I don't think she can stop the Alignment, but she certainly can try to stop us from doing what we need to do."

Everyone nodded, whether they wanted to or not. It was the truth, there was no escaping it. After a long silence, Jamie got up.

"Where are you going?" Rikku asked him, almost looking worried.

"Just going for a walk."

"You sure it's safe?"

"I'm not worried. The funny thing about Andrea, she lets her passivity radiate. I can feel her coming sometimes…when she's really angry."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah; it feels like someone's trying to rip my spine out through my anus." He described it as he saw it, and normally as blunt as he could stand. Everyone cringed, not much liking the analogy he used to elaborate the feeling.

Jamie headed for the door again when he felt something latch on to the leg of his jeans. He looked down to see Eve more or less wrapped around his leg.

"I wanna go," she said, looking up at him, her green eyes sparkling.

"Okay, just let go of my leg." And he picked her up, carrying Eve on his hip.

The air around the Moonflow was cool and moist, but still. The air seemed more motionless these days. Perhaps it was because of the big change that was coming. There was no way to be sure, but he had a good feeling he was right.

The two of them strolled casually alongside the water's edge. There was no real reason to doing it but for its own sake. It wasn't long before Jamie realized that this was something he needed to do; something he should've done a long time ago. He would've, don't get me wrong. He would've had he been able to. Slowly he felt a brick of ice cold guilt settling in his stomach. He should've been there for, for Rikku. He should've been there.

Eve sat in her father's lap when he settled to sit on a large stone by the Moonflow's edge. The Pyreflies were coming out and the mysticism began to show itself over the still water. The two of them talked for a long while, catching up and learning new things about one another. Jamie couldn't believe he missed so much. It almost made him want to cry. It made him feel like a shitty father. You would too if your child was nearly five years old and you just now found out when her birthday is. You can't tell me that you wouldn't feel like hell. If you can, you're a damn liar.

It got later in the night and Eve was starting to rub her eyes and yawn. It was probably past her bedtime. He was about to stand up and take her back to the airship when he noticed Rikku standing there amongst the trees, watching him. When she knew she'd been caught she went to his side.

"What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Daddy and I are just having a father-daughter bondage moment."

Jamie choked and Rikku's face reddened, but then she suddenly began to pout.

"Why don't you and I have bondage moments?" and she looked at her husband with puppy dog eyes.

"I-uh, well, you see-um…we'll talk about it later." His face never seemed a darker shade of crimson.

"Are you saying you and mommy don't bond? You know, Aunt Paine says a marriage without bondage will never last."

"I-uh, think it's your bed time, Eve." Jamie stammered, his face still turning redder.

"You want me to walk with you?" Rikku asked.

"No, mommy, I can find my way back. You and daddy need to bond, I bet." And the little girl left them to themselves.

Rikku managed to hold in her laughter until Eve was out of earshot. Jamie could only blush. He wasn't so sure how he should react to a conversation like that. Rikku plopped down in his lap, laughed and hugged him, her arms laced around his neck. She gave him an innocent kiss on his forehead. Jamison finally let go and laughed, his hands on her hips.

"Out of the mouths of babes, huh?" he laughed.

"No kidding." She took a deep breath, calming herself a little. "But really, why don't we?"

Just when he though he had his red cheeks under control, she had to ask.

"Well…to be honest, I didn't think you were in to that sort of thing." He replied sheepishly.

"You never asked me if I was, now did you?"

"Well, no, but…I just assumed that you didn't play that way." And he smiled.

"And what have I told you about assumptions?" she grabbed him somewhat firmly by the collar and looked at him with a sly and sinister grin.

"Um…I had it, but then I lost it." And he laughed.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything special." The voice came from the branches, the trees around them.

Jamie felt a cold rush up his back, and apparently Rikku did as well. It caused her to shudder in his secure embrace, but certainly not in a good way. The leaves overhead rustled for a moment, and then the sound shifted to a different tree some feet away. A figured dropped from the branches, crouching on the ground. Jamie stood impulsively, putting himself in front of Rikku, attempting to reach for 'saiga. When he was aware of its absence, his heart skipped slightly. No matter. He wasn't afraid of Andrea; he'd be more than happy to fight her tooth and nail.

"Hah, no need to get your nuts in a vice, Black."

Jamie cringed at the mental image but refused to let down his guard even a fraction.

"I have something for you…consider it a belated wedding present." And Andrea tossed something at them that rolled on the ground in the darkness.

"I think you'll get a kick out of it, not to mention that was all that was left when I was finished."

Jamie watched Andrea closely as he bent down. He found the object and shivered. He dared not to pick it up. He knew what was resting at his feet. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Rikku reaching down and grabbed her arm. He merely shook his head.

"You can't see in this light, can you, mutt? Let me lend you a hand."

There was a bright flash of light and a loud cracking sound that split the air. When the two of them no longer saw the need to shield their eyes, the saw the bright orb of white light hovering in the air above their heads. At last, despite what her husband had gestured, Rikku looked down at what Jamie refused to let her see. She covered her mouth as her eyes widened. She covered her mouth to stop herself from screaming. There on the ground, surrounded by a cold stain of partially congealed blood, was Gippal's disembodied head. Jamie looked at Andrea, his teeth bared.

"Why did you do this?"

"Why not? He was annoying the hell out of all of us; and if I'm not mistake, he was the one who started all of this. Trying to get in your new wife's bed," and she snickered at the last part.

Jamie growled, not knowing his eyes turned wicked yellow with black slits.

Suddenly there was a great rustling in the bushes. Having seen the great white light, the others came running from the airship, weapons at the ready. All of them paused, shock spreading across all of their faces. They lowered their arms, not knowing what exactly they should do. After a long quiet, Yuna screamed.

"Man, and here I thought you guys would like this." Andrea shook her head. "And after all the trouble I went through to get it. I figured I'd at least get a 'thank you'."

"You killed him, Andrea! Why should we thank you for taking an innocent man's life?"

"Innocent? Hah, don't make me laugh. He was an annoying schmuck and he needed to go."

"She raises a good point, you know." Paine said flatly.

"Who are you to decide who lives and dies?" Yuna asked.

Everyone in unison turned their head to the High Summoner and cocked up one eyebrow. It was that "you've got to be kidding me," look.

"Oh…"

"And besides, you should really thank me, Black. I did you a favor."

"The hell you say!"

"Nope. You see Gimpy here was at Gagezet trying to stop Rikku from getting the sword. In fact, he was planning to take her hostage in order to get to you. That cannon he was toting around didn't look too friendly to me."

"So you killed him?"

"Well, I took his life force first, and then ripped him to pieces for good measure. You know, the life force is a funny thing. It took Phoenix centuries to create, yet it took me mere seconds to wipe it out of existence." She laughed. "Something so precious yet so easy to take…perhaps that was her flaw the creation of things."

No one spoke. What was there to say? Andrea moved, lifting her head to look Jamison in the eye.

"You can't avoid me anymore, Black. No more excuses. You and I _will_ settle this." She stood and turned her back on all of them, walking away. "The Alignment is in seven days. If you don't find me by then, I'll find _you_."

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" he snapped.

"For your own life, of course not." She replied, stopping a moment. "However I doubt immortality is passed down to a Guardian's children. Surely you understand?"

The black slits in Jamison's eyes narrowed that much more, and he growled deep in his throat.

"Don't you _dare_ threaten my daughter!" his fists clenched tightly.

"If you do the smart thing, I won't have to." She commenced walking in the direction of the Thunder Plains, saying no more other than, "See you later, Black." And then she was gone.

The orb of light in the sky also disappeared. It was quiet for the longest time. Jamie wanted to scream. The anger he felt was making his intestines twist in a knot, and not in a good way. It made him feel hot and miserable on the inside. Rikku walked up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, looking up at him with uncertainty. He looked at her, his expression saddening, and he shrugged while shaking his head. Andrea had gone too far, but he didn't know what to do. Fighting her would change little if anything at all.

"Wait," Yuna just got a brainstorm. "Seven days…the full moon's in seven days,"

"So? Now Dias is going to have to tussle with Phoenix," Jamie elaborated. Yeah right, like that uptight whirling dervish was going to get his hands dirty.

"But not only is it a full moon," Yuna paused. "It's a solar eclipse!"

"Really?" everyone said in unison.

"And that means…what exactly?" Rikku asked.

"I would guess that somehow it would inhibit her powers. Maybe cancel them out."

"But that means I would be powerless too, wouldn't it?" Jamison gestured to himself.

"It's possible, but wouldn't you say it was worth the chance? I'll admit, Andrea could still kick your ass, but at any rate she couldn't kill you."

"I suppose you're right," he nodded vaguely to the High Summoner. "Still, I have to face her…I don't want to put my daughter in any _more_ danger."

"Surely we can come up with some way to use the eclipse to our advantage." Rikku started chewing on her fingernail to think.

"That shouldn't be too difficult," Dragon shrugged. "Considering it's during the middle of the day." Everyone looked at him strangely. "What?"

"How do you know?"

"The same way Phoenix knows."

"Then doesn't that mean that Andrea knows too?"

"Not necessarily. Just because she knows, doesn't mean that Andrea does. They're still two separate entities; Phoenix doesn't have to tell her anything if she doesn't want to."

"So," Rikku's brain was going into fourth gear. "If Jamie can stall long enough, the eclipse will occur and bind her powers!"

"That's what we're hoping," Dragon replied. "And, now that we're on the subject, the eclipse is only the first part of the Alignment. It's not like other eclipses prior. It will begin in five days, and last until the Alignment is complete."

"All of this day counting is giving me a headache," Jamie groaned. Right now all he wanted to do was go take a nap. Well, maybe have a quick romp in the sack with Rikku first…he snickered on the inside. "But what are we going to do until then? This isn't like a test you can study for."

"I know that," The Guardian said.

"I think what we need to focus on right now is finding a safe place for Eve until this blows over." Rikku interjected. Jamie immediately agreed with a jerking sort of nod.

"That's simple. Rikku, you must take her with you to Bevelle."

"What for?"

"Andrea wasn't lying when she said you were Cid's heir. In turn, that makes Eve yours, but with you being a Guardian, you can't assume the throne. Only she can."

The parents looked at Dragon with such wide eyes he half expected them to fall from the sockets. Then they exchanged glances with each other.

"We have no other choice?" Jamie asked Dragon, still looking at his wife.

"Afraid not,"

"Let's do it then."

Authors' Notes- SDB: Yeah, I know, long time and all that crap. We have lives other than writing Fanfiction you know! Well, maybe Dingle does, but that's not the point. Yay, someone died, just like I promised. And what's this about bondage? Ooh, kinky. Anyway, Lord only knows what's going to happen in the next chapter, so just grab your ankles, put your head between your knees and hope you don't smell your socks.

FDB: The reason it takes so long to post a chapter is because shadoobie and I have to email a chapter back and forth at least 5 times until we get it th eway we want. AndI was in Hawaii last week with little internet access. We have our own lives, you know!


	20. Moonlight Survived

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Moonlight Survived**

If there was one thing Jamie hated more than stupid people, it was waiting. He'd been cooped up on the Pickle for three days now, and he still had four more to sit through.

The plan was to wait, call Andrea's bluff until the last second. On the day of the eclipse he would face her and keep her busy until it happened. If he was lucky her powers would be bound and he could smack her around a bit. However, his stomach sank a little when he recalled how shitty his luck was.

He was pacing up and down the length of the airship, and when he was tired of that, he'd pace the banks of the Moonflow. He just wandered, killing time as best he could. He executed this routine for five days straight, finally fed up with it entirely by the afternoon of the sixth. It was early afternoon, so he still had many hours to murder.

On his way back to the airship, he saw Dragon sitting on his haunches, his neck bent so his head would hang, staring into the water of the Moonflow. He felt a sudden need to speak, so why not give his fellow Guardian some company?

"Hey, scaly-butt; what's eatin' ya?" he asked casually.

Dragon blinked and his expression became sad. He shrugged and spoke; "I just…I don't want to believe what's happening."

"None of us do," and Jamie sat down next to him. "But you're taking this awfully hard. There something you're not telling us about?"

"Quite," was his only answer.

"Why don't you say something then? Maybe if you get it off your chest you'll feel better."

"It won't change anything, even if I could. Besides, Noct already knows I think."

"Yeah, but he's been quiet for a while now. He doesn't talk to me all that much these days anyhow." Jamie was actually surprised at the fact. Actually, both Noct and Dias had been pretty silent.

Out of some odd impulse, Jamie looked at his watch. Since when was he wearing one? Good question. Oh well; there I go with my flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants ideas. Anyway…where was I? Oh yea, I remember now.

Jamie looked at his digital watch, seeing the time as it would be back in his where and when. He pushed a couple of buttons, checking the date and then snickering.

"What is it?" Dragon asked.

"It's almost Christmas time," and Jamie smiled.

"What? What's that?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot." He leaned back on his palms. "You see, back in my where, we had a holiday around the end of the year. It was like a family get-together day or something."

"Oh? What do you celebrate?"

"Just being with friends and family I suppose; the people you love. Everyone would exchange gifts with each other."

"Really; that's quite a novel idea. Maybe if we suck up to Paine enough she can get Baralai to officiate a holiday like that here."

"Ah, who says he needs to? Andrea and I are the only two people on the planet that know about it. Maybe we should just keep it to ourselves…keep it in the family."

"We've certainly grown into that, haven't we?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "What a family. Reunions are going to be awkward." And he laughed.

"If only we could keep the family together…we wouldn't need reunions."

Jamie saw his point and his heart sank. Why did he suddenly feel so small and the world such a monster? He couldn't help but feel as if all of his hope had been sucked out of him…like he had foreseen his own death.

Dragon looked at Jamison, seeing the grave new look on his face. "Something troubles _you_ now." He said. Thank you Captain Obvious.

"I don't want to do this…I don't want to fight her." Jamie confessed with his eyebrows knitted tightly. "But I don't have a choice…if I want to protect my family."

"A great part of being a Guardian means doing things you dislike for the sake of others. I know you've heard it before, but sometimes you need a reminder."

"Tell me about it. I didn't even ask for this," he spat angrily.

"I think Rikku was the only one who chose this fate. Not even I wanted this."

"I still don't understand why she did it," Jamie shook his head.

Dragon looked at him and smiled sadly. "Because she loves you, Jamison; that's why. She sacrificed her freedom so she could be with you, be with your daughter. What's not to understand?"

"She knew how miserable all of us were because of the Guardians; why would she want to be one?"

"Have you ever asked her?"

"Not really, mostly because I can't argue with her worth a damn. But I suppose I understand what you're saying. Still…this blows."

"Indeed."

A moment of silence passed and then Jamie spoke again, trying to change the subject.

"So what exactly is going to happen during the Alignment? What are we supposed to do?"

"As far as I know, as the Alignment happens, the Al Bhed heir is to sit on the throne and Spira herself will draw on the power of the Guardians to right itself." Dragon explained hesitantly, not exactly sure of his answers.

"That's all? Shouldn't be too hard,"

"True…provided we all live to see the Alignment."

"It's not like Andrea can kill us," Jamie said with mild optimism.

"She could do worse,"

"How?" this he had to hear.

"She _could_ kill _Eve_."

Jamie shivered and his stomach twisted. He had a point there. A horrifying point, but a good one anyway.

Speaking of the child, Dragon's ears perked up when he heard the pitter-patter of little feet running towards them. The child game bounding down the path, arms open with a smile on her face. Jamie saw her coming and felt his once cold insides warm up. He had such a beautiful daughter. If he ever lost her he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

She leaped into her father's arms and latched onto him, her legs locked around his waist and her arms around his neck. He saw Dragon smile and couldn't help but do it himself.

"What are you doing, squirt?"

"Mommy's looking for you, dad." She said. "She and Aunt Yuna are going to make dinner and they wanted your ideas."

"Is it that late already? Wow, I had no clue." He looked and Dragon. "What do you say we go in and give the ladies a hand before they blow up the airship?"

Dragon laughed, glad to so again, and agreed with him.

A few moments later Rikku stood in the galley of the airship, her hands fisted on her hips and her head tilted to one side as she watched her husband bent over and fishing through the ice box.

"What in the world are looking for, dear?" she asked. He had already destroyed nearly the entire kitchen in his search for certain items. Yuna paled at the mess he had made.

"_Please_ tell me you people have cheese!" his voice came from inside of the refrigerator.

"Of course we have cheese! What do you think we are, savages? What are you making anyway?"

"You'll see…ah-_HA_; cheese! Now, ladies, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do." He was smiling rather frighteningly as he hauled a block of cheese and put it on the counter.

"But I thought _Yuna_ and _I_ were going to make dinner!" she fought him from shoving her out the door.

"Nonsense! Just let me! Now be a good girl, and within the hour I'll have food on the table, promise."

"It's not going to kill us, is it?"

"Darling, rest assured your taste buds will have an orgasm,"

"But what about _me_?" she gave him a knowing smirk.

"Maybe later," he groaned, feeling her firm butt brush against him. "After we've eaten."

"Okay," she laughed, and then left Jamie to his devices.

Just as he'd promised, within the hour Jamie had finished and put dinner on the table. At first everyone was skeptical, having never heard of "pizza" before, but that quickly changed after the first few bites. Jamie called it pizza, but to seven starving, over-stressed people it was Heaven with a side of Nirvana, and a dash of Shangri-la-dee-dammit. That's a great word, isn't it?

Over dinner Rikku retold her tale of battling Ifrit inside of Gagezet, which Jamie had yet to hear in its entirety.

_(II)_

_Then Ifrit charged._

_Rikku held the sword of the Seraphim in front of her, hoping to block Andrea's claw swipe. The sword did block the attack, but it flew into the wall, taking Rikku with it. She got to her feet and looked to Andrea as she charged her. Rikku jumped into the air and kicked off of the wall. She ran the blade of her sword through Andrea's shoulder and Andrea, distracted by the pain, ran straight into the wall. Rikku turned and faced Andrea down, sword at the ready._

"_Give me the sword, Rikku, before I have to pry it from your cold, dead fingers."_

"_Why do you wan this sword so badly?" Rikku asked._

"_If I have that sword, then you are no longer responsible for saving the world. You can go home to your…_husband_." Andrea almost spat the last word._

"_Is that true?" Rikku asked._

"Don't believe her!"_ the seraphim shouted in Rikku's mind. _"If you lose the sword, then the Alignment will never take place. If the Alignment doesn't happen, then Noct and Dias will eventually drive Jamison mad. He won't know who's who anymore."

"_What is your answer Rikku?" Andrea snarled._

"_No! You can't have it!" Rikku shouted. "Seraphim says that Jamie will go insane if I lose the sword."_

"_Which is precisely why I want it. I want him to suffer as I have. I want him to lose his identity as I have."_

"_You haven't lost your identity, Andrea…"_

"Dennis was part of me!" _Andrea fumed. "I was nothing before him! He gave me purpose, he gave me meaning!" Andrea lowered Ifrit's head and stared at the floor. "Then Jamie took him away from me. He killed the one I loved most. Someone has to pay…"_

"_Then make Noct pay! He was the one that killed Dennis. Not…Jamie…" Rikku could feel a tear come to her eye._

_"But I can't get to Noct, can I?" Andrea inquired. "Not until I get inside Black's head."_

"_We can help you Andrea..."_

"_Too late." Was all Andrea said before she made a dash for the sword. Rikku caught Ifrit's claws on the blade and held Andrea off._

"_Dennis wouldn't have wanted you to seek revenge." She was trying her best to bring Andrea to her senses._

"_We can't all have what we want, Rikku. I didn't want Dennis to die. I didn't want every-fucking-thing in my life to fall apart. You don't want anything to happen to Jamie, or your daughter. I've learned that in the end, you can never really have what you want. It's always what someone else wants._

"_The Phoenix wants me to save the world. You want me to forgive your husband. And I can't do any of that. I won't. I want what I want. Starting with this sword!" Andrea wrapped Ifrit's claws around the blade and pulled it from Rikku grasp._

"_No!" Rikku grabbed for the sword, but Ifrit knocked her away._

"_Jamie will suffer. You will suffer. Everyone will suffer!" Andrea growled. "And I won't be alone anymore." Andrea took the sword in both massive hands and started bending the metal. When she found that Ifrit's strength wasn't enough to destroy the sword, Pyreflies surrounded her, melting away the visage of Ifrit, and molding the image of a black dragon around her._

_Bahamut adjusted its grip and started squeezing and bending. Andrea almost felt the metal snap when she felt the temperature rise. She looked behind her and found Rikku standing with her arms at her sides._

"_You're not alone, Andrea," she said. "You were never alone. We would have helped you, supported you. But you had to turn on us."_

"_You turned on me," Andrea said through Bahamut's mouth. "You married that bastard after you knew what he'd done!"_

"_Regardless...I don't want Jamie to get hurt, but apparently, you won't let me have that." Rikku opened her eyes and a red fire shone from them. Andrea felt a small shiver run through her body. The lava behind Rikku boiled and surged as the Al Bhed's breathing became more labored._

"_What are you doing, Rikku?"_

"I am the Seraphim, Guardian of Spira, embodiment of the Earth."_ It was no longer Rikku speaking, but the Seraphim herself._ "I created everything we stand on, and as such, I can manipulate it." _Lava surged again. Magma burst out of the ground near Andrea's feet. Another gusher flew up and engulfed the sword in Bahamut's claws. When the lava dispersed, the sword was gone. Andrea looked over to Rikku's body, for Rikku had abandoned her consciousness. Another vent opened near the Seraphim and she plunged her hand into it. When the lava dispersed this time, the Seraphim held her sword in her hand._

"You have angered the Earth, Andrea,"_ the Seraphim said. _"Now, feel its wrath."_ The Guardian of Earth raised her sword and brought it done on the ground. Columns of rock and stone shot from the ground and rolled towards Andrea. One of the pillars struck her in the chin and knocked her into the far wall. Another swing of her sword, and Seraphim had shattered the stone and sent it flying into Andrea's already broken body._

_Pyreflies encircled Andrea's body and left her lying there still with bits of stone stuck in her clothes. Seraphim walked over to her, but relinquished control back to Rikku. She turned her back on the broken Guardian and spread her wings._

"_Are you going to turn on me?" Andrea asked. "Again?"_

"You_ turned on _us_ when you decided to live in the past. You haven't lived a day beyond Dennis' death. When you decide to come back to us, feel free to look us up. We'll be waiting in the present." Leaving Andrea to ponder that, Rikku spread her wings and flew through the ceiling into the outside world._

_(III)_

Fortunately Jamison had managed to make three large pizzas, enough for everyone to fill themselves and still have some to spare. As they became filled to capacity, one by one they petered off to bed. Celeste was first to leave, and was shortly after followed by Paine and Baralai and then Dragon. Eve had been sitting in Jamie's lap and was dozing off. Yuna looked tired as well, motioning to leave and offering to take Eve with her, thinking that Rikku and Jamie would want some alone time.

"Why don't you go with Aunt Yuna, droopy?" Jamie smiled at Eve.

"I'll even carry you," Yuna offered.

"No, I'll fall asleep!" her protest was only half as serious as she tried to make it sound. "I always fall asleep when she picks me up!"

"Go on now," he offered her up to Yuna and was deposited in the High Summoner's arms.

As Yuna left them Rikku and Jamie could hear their daughter chanting that she wouldn't fall asleep. She didn't even make it through the third repetition before she dozed off. Finally they were alone, and they sat quietly for what seemed like the longest time. Rikku looked at her husband and saw him staring holes in the floor.

"What's wrong, Jamie?"

He hesitated a moment, not sure why. "I don't want to go."

Rikku stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. " I know. I would go with you if I could."

"I know you would…still…" and he couldn't finish. "I don't want to put Eve in danger."

"It'll work out, Jamie. I know it will. Even if she does get passed you, she'll still have to deal with Dragon and me. She can't take us both,"

"How do you figure?" from the stories he'd heard about Andrea, he couldn't believe what his wife had just said.

"She hasn't been taking care of herself; she's a lot weaker than she lets on. There's something else, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Point being, she's not at full strength, so we've got a good chance at taking her down."

"That makes me feel a bit better." He sighed, putting his hands on hers.

"That's good," and then she gently bit him on the ear.

She didn't have to do very much to coax him to the bedroom. Another nibble on his ear and a hot breath on the back of his neck was all it took. In fact, he _carried her_ to their room, setting her down to stand so he could undress her.

In the pitch dark he felt his way around her body, finding bits of clothing in his lightly trembling hands and pulling them away, discarding them on the floor. Her skin was so soft and warm, so much unlike his own. He cherished, no, worshiped her form, kissing and embracing every curve. He looked with his hands, seeing the image of her becoming clearer and clearer in his mind as he touched her. Finally he pulled her hair loose, running his fingers through it with a labored sigh. Jamie had failed to notice himself being disrobed, far too focused on more important things aside from his decency.

Jamison groaned as he felt her soft fingertips scorch across his skin, feeling himself enveloped by fire. He shivered when Rikku forced their hips together, and he plunged his lips to hers hungrily. When he had to pull away for the frivolous matter of having to breathe, he scooped Rikku into his arms and took her to bed. He hovered over her a moment, panting as his eyes locked with hers.

"What's the matter?" she asked, finding her breath hard to catch as well.

He shook his head. "N-nothing, it's just…I can't help but think this could be the last time…"

"Love," she touched his cheek. "She can't kill you,"

"She could do worse," he thought back to Dragon a moment.

"How so?"

"I may be immortal…but if she just so happened to chop my nuts off with her karate-chop-action kung-fu grip I don't know if they would grow back."

"Ah," her eyes widened. "I see."

"Still, in all seriousness…I just have a bad feeling." He shook his head again, looking away.

Rikku sat up a little. "Forget it for now," and she kissed him, pulling him back to the passion he was dwelling in moments ago. He kissed back with a burning desire, pushing her down on the bed and holding her there by the wrists. A few seconds later he pulled away, looking at her once again with an expression of desperation.

"What is it?"

"N-nothing," he repeated. "I…I want to try something different,"

She agreed and allowed him to manipulate her as he wished. She found herself flipped over, now with her knees beneath her and Jamison kneeling behind her. At first she wasn't quite sure what he was up to. Her back then suddenly arched as the warm palms of his hands caressed the top of her thighs, drawing themselves upward from her knees to her hips. From there they drifted up her sides, over her arms and their hands lanced together. She felt his erection brush against her tailbone and then the small of her back when he pulled her against him. Rikku turned her head as far as she could, wordlessly begging for a kiss. Jamison crossed their intertwined arms over her chest, craning his neck so their lips could meet.

Rikku pulled her hands from his to fist them in his hair, pulling him closer if that was physically possible. He groaned, his hands now splayed out over her stomach and resting on her hips. Jamison pulled away a third time only to bite her on the ear, not aware of what his hands were doing anymore. Rikku gasped loudly, almost uttering his name. His right hand grasped her breast securely while the other descended where her thighs met, that place where only _he_ would ever be allowed to touch.

After a short time Jamie couldn't take it anymore. He had Rikku lean forward slightly, still holding her by the hips. His hands then slid to the front of her stomach as he pulled her back towards him, entering her skillfully. She gasped, nearly screamed as she felt her husband inside of her. It was like the first time, only deliciously unique. She wasn't sure how it was so different.

Jamison panted heavily. He kissed her shoulders and back with tenderness, ignoring the mark of the Seraphim. One of his arms curled around her waist while the other kept a firm hold on her breast, and he made love to her. His pace was steady and strong, slow at first. He would gently bite at the skin over her shoulder blades and neck, tracing his tongue up her spine as well, tasting sweat. His arms changed position again as he locked Rikku's arms at her sides and settled his own over her bosom. He held her tightly, pressing his forehead into her back. He leaned forward slightly, giving himself the leverage he needed to move faster.

Rikku felt herself heading for her climax already. She didn't want to just yet. She forced him to slow down again, leaning back against him and letting her head fall onto his shoulder. She reached around his hips and gripped his buttocks firmly, making him stop his motions completely. He grunted hard and she suddenly felt his teeth press down on that ever-so delicate tendon in her throat, and then he growled. She felt herself stiffen, frozen as is, like captured prey.

Jamison clawed her stomach, not drawing blood but leaving red marks on her tanned skin. He growled again, biting a little harder on her neck. It was the Guardian in him, Rikku knew. It was actually quite the turn-on. So long as his alter-egos kept their mouths shut it would be fine.

Jamison clasped Rikku's wrists tightly and tore them away from his rear, crossing her hands over her own chest likewise to his. He began thrusting into her again, his jaws no longer around her neck but nipping at her right shoulder.

"Rikku, I love you," his words were forced and desperate. "My wife…my _mate_,"

"Husband," she gasped. "My Alpha,"

Jamie suddenly stopped. Rikku couldn't see how wide his eyes had suddenly become.

"What?"

"Isn't that the right word?" she panted. "The one in charge, the leader…the only one who mates; isn't that the Alpha?"

He hesitated a moment and then his blood began boiling with a desire he'd never had before. Oh God, he was on fire inside.

"_Yes_," he growled. "Yes, that's right,"

He leaned forward, forcing Rikku to support herself on her hands as well as her knees. Jamison draped himself over her back, his teeth grasping the nape of her neck like a wolf that was love-biting his dear, life-long companion. He growled and she felt the vibration course through her whole body. He let her go and she felt his breath hot on her skin.

"Say it…say it again," It was still Jamie speaking, not the Guardian. That made it all the more kinky. He cupped both of her breasts and thrust into her faster. He shivered slightly as the beads of sweat rolled freely down his thighs and back.

"_Say it_!" he snarled.

"_My Alpha_!" She screamed, her climax slamming into her like a speeding Chocobo.

Jamison didn't stop, Rikku begged him not to. He continued on, harder and faster. She cried out his name, fisting the blankets tightly and biting the edge of the pillows to keep herself from screaming too loudly.

Jamison could feel his peak coming, and he could sense his wife to be just as close. They would climax together; that had never happened before. His forehead was pressed into the crook of her neck and he listened as she declared him Alpha again and again. Finally she called him by name as he thrust into her fiercely, both of their bodies seizing up in unison. Jamison clutched Rikku against him, not daring to let go.

The two of them at last collapsed on the bed, Rikku's back remaining against Jamie's chest. Both of them trembled as if freezing to death when it was actually the exact opposite. They were smoldering in the aftermath.

They lay awake in the dark for some time, catching their breath most of all. At last someone pulled the covers up and they settled in for sleep. Jamison was already teetering on the edge of consciousness.

"My mate," he murmured, and then began to snore softly.

Rikku grinned weakly, lacing her fingers with his hand that draped around her waist. Shortly after she too fell asleep.

_(IV)_

The sky was clear of clouds. Jamison looked up into the pure light of the sun, his eyes falling on the pale moon that was slowly coming into position for the eclipse. Too slow, he thought. He wished he could just wait, but no. His daughter's life was at stake, he couldn't risk it. He knew confidently that his fortune didn't stretch so far as to resurrect his only child from the cold hand of death.

He was mildly surprised that he hadn't sensed Andrea's presence in the Thunder Plains. He half expected her to want to settle this there, with it once being the Guardian Plains and all that. Instead he could faintly feel her in the Calm Lands. Now that he thought about it, this was probably better. Andrea must've figured there would be less chance of interruption here. Jamie almost forced himself to agree. He wanted to finish this and be done, anything to get on with his life and get back to his family.

Jamison wasn't afraid. Not a chance in hell. What was he to fear? It wasn't like Andrea could kill him. True, she could cause him severe amounts of pain and inflict many a boo-boo in a short amount of time and effort, but she couldn't kill him. Besides, the plan was bound to work…it had to. He played it over in his head numerous times trying to convince himself that nothing would go wrong. But as we all know, something always goes wrong one way or another.

He exhaled hard, calming himself. He shook his head. The other Guardians would come. They would, and Phoenix would be bound. It sounded easy enough. He had to have faith.

Jamison suddenly felt a cold spasm shoot up his back. Andrea was aware of him now. His fingers clutched at Tetsusaiga's hilt feverishly. A part of him was still anxious. He had to force his legs to move. He walked casually into the openness of the Calm Lands, searching for Andrea, ready yet reluctant to further this ridiculous game of hers.

He crossed the great span and found himself heading for the edge to the sheer cliff face at the edge. He faintly recalled back to the evening when he and Rikku sat there and talked, watching the sunset. What he would have given to have those days of simplicity back. How much he wished this would end.

Jamison found Andrea sitting just at the edge with her legs folded beneath her and her hands palms down on her thighs. Her upper body was resolutely upright and she had discarded her blue jeans for her white uniform pants. Beside her was her uniform jacket, though stitched in dozens of places, folded neatly with her black belt sitting atop it. The lance was on the other side, just within reach. Her hair was once again tied back into a ponytail after a half a year of being down. She looked out into the emptiness beyond the cliffs, as if searching for something and yet nothing. She was focusing on an object only she could see.

Jamison halted a few steps away, his eyes slowly drifting down and settling on her. He noticed somewhat faded yet still very vivid scars on her back, arms, shoulders and neck, and her sides. He cringed inwardly. He too had his own scars, and he knew well their long term burdens. Not just the physical pain.

"I was once ashamed," she spoke distantly, but obviously to Jamie. "My scars…made me feel ugly. I thought…because of them that no one could ever love me."

Jamison said nothing. He only listened.

"The moments in my life that gave them to me…I thought I was incapable," she paused to think of how to say it. "I never thought I would be able to feel for anyone. For nearly twenty-five years I felt that way, like the world didn't want me. Do you know what it's like to go your whole life feeling…worthless?" she actually half turned her head in his direction.

"I…I think I do. But then again…all I've ever had is loss. I suppose that's different than never having anything…isn't it?"

"I believe you're right. However…you've at least tasted the things I've never had within my reach. I've had to be satisfied with looking in from the outside…it's very difficult knowing what you're missing in your life, being able to see it, yet unable to achieve it."

"It's always been taken from me." The words fell out of his mouth.

Andrea nodded her head, looking back towards the horizon again. "Like me you've lost the things you've wanted most. People like us don't ask for much, but we can't seem to hold onto it once we have it. I think the most difficult thing about it is that it is not of our own design that we lose the things we want. In our chaotic existence all we ask for is simplicity and peace…we can't even have that."

"It's amazing how much we have in common, isn't it?" he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Indeed; more so in our differences."

There was a long silence. The breeze that blew through the Calm Lands came from Gagezet, cold and bitter.

"Dennis," she began again. "He didn't see my scars…he taught me how to feel things…he showed me that I still had a chance…that I was worth something. Dennis was a part of me."

There was a long silence again.

Then: "And you took him."

Jamison cringed. "No apology will ever be good enough for you, will it?"

"The night when the moon never again rises is when I will forgive you."

"You can't stop the path of the universe."

"Exactly,"

Jamie nodded. He could see the point in that statement now. He stared at the grass at his feet as Andrea systematically put her belt in her lap and unfolded her jacket to put it on. When she put her belt on and tied it like she always had she stood up, wiping the grass off of her knees. When he looked up at her he felt a small cell of him flinch. A part of him found her quite intimidating in uniform. However, as a whole his perception of her was unchanged.

Andrea wedged her foot beneath the weapon and kicked it up so she could grasp it in one hand. She held it firmly in her fist, the blunt end stuck in the ground. She looked at him without blinking, her fury calm inside of her yet very visible in her stare.

"Look me in the eyes, Black. If nothing else," she said. "Show me you have some dignity."

He returned her cold stare equally. "No holds barred then?"

"If that's your choice; we follow our own rules this time."

Jamison knew what she meant and nodded his head. He glanced over his shoulder at the sky again, noticing that the moon was still much too far away from the sun. He shrank inside, almost doubting that he could do this. He didn't want violence anymore. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to his family and be left alone. Is that so much to ask? Well, Andrea probably wanted the same thing…

Andrea bent her wrist so the blade would whisper against the grass and walked forward. She began to circle around him like a predator, watching him without blinking. Jamie's hand tightened around the hilt of his sword; he could only speculate what was going on in her head. He pushed a small hint of Tetsusaiga from the hilt, slowly drawing his other hand around to grasp it. He could feel it coming. When he last expected it she would lash out at him. He counted his own heart beat as he waited. A bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck.

He heard the faint sound of her foot sliding over the grass, this made him move. The blade of Andrea's lance shimmered in the sun as it came down. Jamie drew 'saiga, parrying unintentionally with the horizontal swing. Andrea used the momentum the deflection caused to make a full turn and aim for his throat. The blade cut the air with a high pitched note, but missed its mark as Jamie took steps back to avoid being beheaded.

Jamison had nothing but his reflexes and instinct to rely on. It managed to stand up to Andrea's many years of formal training. Still, she was one hell of a fast one. Half the time he couldn't even see her. Like that night on the island their actions were just motions running together into a blur. Like life was suddenly hurled into fast forward.

Jamie had his back to her for a split second, knowing she had leaped into the air and meaning to slice him cleanly down the middle. He paused then thrust back his leg after a half step forward. He felt Andrea's body almost fold over it before she flew back, the wind knocked out of her. She rolled in the grass for a moment, her breath staggering. With a mildly pained and fierce expression on her face she stood again and charged him.

Out of impulse he lunged with the point of Tetsusaiga aimed straight forward. Andrea ducked and sidestepped, shifting her angle of approach. Now she was on a collision course with Jamison instead of his sword. She swung the spear in an upwards arc, jumping clear over his right shoulder. Jamison felt a sting in his arm and neck, a strong burning after a few moments. He felt the inside of his duster and the collar of his shirt become hot and wet, sticky. His sword arm suddenly stopped functioning and dropped to his side. His other hand reached over and touched his shoulder, feeling warm and moist almost instantly. He pulled it away so he could look at his palm, finding it vividly red. He touched the same hand to his neck, feeling a sharp twinge when he found the long cut going from below his ear to almost his nose, cutting his cheek deeply. The other wound was at the crease where his arm and shoulder joined, making it suddenly very difficult for that arm to lift the hefty 'saiga. More sweat trickled down his face and neck, stinging the open wounds.

Jamison could faintly hear Andrea coming for him again, this time from behind. Again he paused, waiting for the last possible second. When that moment came he dropped to one knee, pivoting around and swinging his sword as hard as he could. He felt it collide with Andrea's lance, felt something give, flinching at the loud, metallic bang. Andrea made another full turn with the momentum, mimicking Jamie's maneuver and dropping to one knee. Using the bladed end of her now broken spear she cut his side clear open. Jamison barked at the searing pain and quickly stood up, pivoting in the opposite direction to give 'saiga enough swinging room as he brought it down on her head.

Andrea rolled to the side and sprung forward, ramming her shoulder hard into Jamie's knees. Something cracked. He felt himself falling forward, or more or less to the side, whichever. He grabbed hold of Andrea's belt and pulled her to the ground with him. He found himself on top of her, his knees aching like hell. Before he could really make anything of his advantage his chin got up close and personal with Andrea's fist. He was hit so soundly his head snapped back in a whiplash motion. Andrea bucked him off and stood up.

The Guardian clasped the back of Black's collar, hauling him to his feet and jerking him around to look at her. She plowed the back of her fist into one side of his face and then came back with belting her knuckles across the other side. She then slugged him a couple of times in the gut, hard enough to make him spit up a fair amount of blood.

"What's the matter, Black?" she asked bitterly. "Don't you hit women?"

"M-maybe…if you'd just hold…still," he stammered, looking at her through one swollen eye.

Andrea laughed but didn't smile. I think it's safe to say she'd forgotten how at this point. She let go of him, allowing him to stand on his wobbling, still sore legs just so she could strike him hard in the chest with her open palm. He flew back, landing flat and hard on the ground. Andrea turned away from him, looking for her broken lance. The bladed end of it of course…now where did it go?

Jamison laid there, his whole body now wracked with multiple levels of physical agony. That last blow liked to have stopped his heart. He could've sworn it had for at least a split second. The grass beneath him felt cool on the back of his hot neck and beneath his sweaty, half numb palms. He felt a few blades of it sticking between his bloody fingers. You know, he half expected to be in better shape than this. Why was he was getting his ass handed to him so royally? Maybe it was because he really had no desire to do this in the first place. He wasn't focusing on it because he wanted nothing to do with it. He clenched his tingling hands into fists. He hated this.

Jamison took a half assed glance up at the sky, noticing how close the moon now was to eclipsing the sun. His eyes opened wider and he felt a renewal in his drive. Well, he never really had it anyway, but still…just work with me. He forced himself to get up.

Andrea couldn't find the business end of her spear, so she gestured for the next best thing. Tetsusaiga was just an arm's reach from her. She thought to herself how she should do this. She wanted to make him suffer as much as possible without a whole lot of unnecessary bleeding or mutilation. But, then again, he was immortal, so what difference did it make? Yes, she thought leisurely. Maybe I could start by cutting off his legs so he can't run away. Then I'll slowly break all of his fingers. She snickered a little. She was getting excited.

As she reached for the giant blade she felt something latch on to her ankles and jerk her legs out from underneath her. She was being dragged through the grass away from the sword. The movement suddenly stopped. As she attempted to get back up she felt a great weight shove her back down, her nose cracking loudly as the underside of Black's boot stepped on her head. That uncouth ninny! After spitting the grass out of her mouth and wiping the blood off her upper lip she stood again.

Jamison was just about to touch 'saiga when he felt Andrea yank at the tail of his duster, pulling him away just like he had her previously. He made a swift about face and swung at her head hard. He felt his fist collide with her cheek, so he tried swinging the other arm at her. The second hit her squarely in the jaw, but she repaid him with a punch in the nose.

They swapped blows like this for several minutes. She would divert his blows and knock him in the face; he would block a few of her punches and maybe land one. It seemed to just go on. If anyone were watching this, they definitely consider it one sided. Jamison was giving it his all, anything just to land a punch or two, but it looked as if Andrea was hardly trying. Jamie actually half expected her to start yawning. She just looked so calm, like it didn't matter.

Strange, as Andrea would hit him-not just in the face, but in the body as well-Jamison was thinking of the "1-little-2-little-3-little" song in the back of his head, however he sort of came up with his own version.

…1-little-2-little-3-little broken bones…and so on.

He knew bones where breaking when she hit him. How wouldn't he? She was certainly hitting him hard enough. Jamison figured he'd have Jackson's nose by the end of this if she hit him there again.

Jamie's head flew back and he glance up at the moon again. Yes, any second now. He reached into his coat and pulled out the business end of Andrea's lance, having found it in the grass as he lay there. He gave her the most serious look he could muster and rammed the blade straight through her. Andrea grunted hard, taking a rasping breath as her face shifted into anger and flinched slightly. Jamison jerked the blade upward, cutting her open up to the solar plexus. He then pushed her slightly away as he jumped, turning and kicking her hard, shoving the blade clear through the rest of her.

She half choked on the blood rising in her throat, stumbling backwards onto her rear in the grass, her hands clutching at the deep crimson hole in her.

Jamison stood there, panting with sweat and blood dripping from his skin. He half expected her to have gotten up by now. That made him think, being so close to the eclipse that he didn't want her to have the chance. He reached into his coat again, taking out Lulu's gift to him from those four years ago. The doll came to life in his hand. It jumped to the ground as he raised both arms, calling the strongest spell he could think of.

Andrea found herself surrounded in brilliant red and gold light, focusing in on her in daggers of fiery energy. There was this ear splitting sound like a B-29 engine, rattling even the solid ground itself. The intensity of the crimson light grew, consuming Andrea whole before combusting in a supernova. Jamison heard something that resembled a scream.

The doll returned to Jamie's hand and went slack, allowing him to stuff it back into his coat. He watched as a cloud of smoke began to dissipate from where the spell had struck. When the mist cleared his mouth fell open.

"Aw, fuck NO!" he swore.

Andrea was standing again, slightly charred with smoking rising from her body, and surrounded in a pair of brilliantly colored red and gold wings. They had shielded her from the spell's true power. Andrea spread her wings, a few cinders flying off and cooling into non-existence. One hand was still clutching at the wound in her stomach.

She began laughing.

"I told you…our own rules."

Jamison swore again and made a last ditch effort to reach Tetsusaiga. Surprisingly, as he dashed for it, Andrea let him by without trying to stop him. She turned around and watched him pick it up, roughly wipe the sweat and blood from his face, and then haul 'saiga on his shoulder as he charged her. Andrea held out her arms mockingly, grinning a little.

Jamison swung hard, meaning to cleave her shoulder wide open. His eyes widened when Tetsusaiga bounced off of her, vibrating so hard it hurt his arms. It left no mark, not even a welt. He tried stabbing her with it, aiming for the still open wound he'd made with her spear. With a sweep of her hand she nimbly diverted it. She grabbed hold of his wrists, twisted them hard, and then threw his arms to his sides. With at least one hand free she thrust it forward, piercing his clothing and his skin, going all the way through his chest. Several ribs were broken and torn out of place and she could feel his heart beating erratically against the skin of her forearm.

Jamison's face contorted into a mixed expression, showing shock, pain, and extreme disbelief.

"You know, Black; I can't kill Cerberus."

"N-No…sh-shit,"

"However, I've just realized something. Cerberus is only a spirit inhabiting your body…_you're_ still mortal."

He looked at her confused at first and then winced hard with a grunt when something began to tug hard at his heart. It was like his lungs had suddenly stopped functioning and were filled with ice cold cement.

"I bet it hurts," she said with mocking compassion. "Having your soul ripped out…it can't feel very good."

Jamison growled hard at the pain, clutching at Andrea's arm, almost attempting to yank it out of his chest. Andrea laughed him, not really smiling, but still amused.

"Yes…it does hurt. No other pain quite like it. I would know."

"Please, Andrea," yes, Jamison Black was more or less begging. "I have a daughter…what would you do if you were me!"

"Hmph; I would've killed myself already." She replied.

Suddenly the sky began to darken. The light from the sun was being severely hindered by something passing in front of it. Jamison looked up, his eyes straining to see and watched the eclipse. The moon passed in front of the sun, putting all of Spira in its shadow.

Andrea suddenly withdrew her arm from Jamie's body, letting him collapse and attempt to catch his breath. She took a few steps back, her gaze glued angrily to the display in the heavens. She recalled to her many visions, remembering seeing this very event at least a dozen times. She felt her insides run cold as the light of the sun was further put out by her celestial brother.

"NO!" She shouted, suddenly doubling over. Her hands fisted tightly in the grass, her wings going limp and collapsing. "_I…WILL …END YOU_!"

Jamie sat back and watched her lose her power. He felt himself settling into relief, shrugging the anxiety out.

For a few moments, as the shadow stretched over the Calm Lands, Andrea did nothing but groan loudly, as if in serious pain. But then it suddenly stopped, and she stood up, completely recomposed.

The shadow of the eclipse crept up her legs from the ground. Andrea began to laugh softly to herself. Jamison heard her and felt himself going rigid again. Phoenix should be powerless. What the hell was so funny then? Was she going to flip out again? Would she try and eat him too?

Andrea suddenly burst out loudly with laughter. Something was genuinely amusing to her right now. One would think her reaction would be less…happy. Her giggles slowed to a stop as the darkness of the eclipse covered the rest of her.

With the completion of the eclipse the crimson and gold feathers of her wings suddenly faded to pitch, sinful black. She began to laugh again.

"I've just realized something," she said with sudden enlightenment. "The Black Phoenix is still a part of me…it's an entirely separate entity from the Guardian! We are one in the same!"

Jamison felt something in the pit of his stomach, something heavy. He broke out into a fresh sweat. Something felt terribly wrong.

"I _AM_ the Living Fayth!" she shouted triumphantly. "A Guardian cannot kill a Guardian, but a demi-god might be able to,"

Andrea beat her wings once, rising into the air. Out of nowhere Pyreflies appeared, circling around her in a radiant cloud. Jamie forced himself to stand, taking Tetsusaiga in his hand defiantly. However he could do little more than watch. He'd only heard of the Black Phoenix through word of mouth, but now he would see it. And here he thought that the stories alone were terrible. If he were anyone else seeing this, he'd have shat himself already…several times.

Okay, he thought out into space; anytime you other Guardians are ready…help.

_"This doesn't at all look good, Jamison. Not good at all."_

**_"No, really, Jeeves? Gosh, you're so perceptive!"_**

"Hey, why don't you two quit bitching? This is serious, and unless you two have something life saving to say, shut the fuck up!"

_"I suggest a hasty retreat,"_

**_"And I suggest that you're a big puss, Jeeves. I think we should fight her, at least until the others get here."_** Noct groaned at his own idea. **_"How tough could she be?"_**

_"Have you been brain dead this entire time, you moron?"_

**_"Wouldn't you like to know?"_**

"Stop it! Your voices are giving me Shingles! As far as I can tell, standing up to her is the only plan that has a chance of working. If we run she'll just catch up to us and kill us. Dias…can she really kill us now?"

_"For once, Jamison, I honestly have no idea. However I fail to see any gain in our favor should we test that theory."_

**_"For once I agree with tit head here."_**

_"I beg your pardon!"_

**_"Well you can't have it,"_**

"Enough already! We need to save our ass now, there'll be time for arguing later!"

Jamie suddenly put the Tetsusaiga over his head, shielding himself from the rain of black flames that had suddenly fell down on him. When it appeared safe he again looked up, seeing the Black Phoenix in all of its terrible glory. The Pyreflies continued to surround the demi-god, as if there was some purpose for them. Jamie had a seriously bad feeling about the purpose of their presence.

The Black Phoenix looked down at Jamie with its piercing white eyes, glowing brilliantly in the ever thickening shade of the eclipse. It flapped its wings to stay aloft, making no gesture of attacking or retreating. Or of acting at all. This bothered Jamie a little.

The Pyreflies suddenly formed a halo around Phoenix and then drifted to the ground, being absorbed in the earth. There were several moments of silence before the ground began to tremble. Jamie wavered on his feet a little, watching as the earth where the Pyreflies had disappeared into had disappeared, sunken into a bottomless hole so it seemed. Phoenix caught Jamison's eye as it dove into the hole, leaving little or no trace of ever being anywhere else. Then the ground stopped shaking.

"What…what the fuck just happened?"

**_"I don't know, but I think it's kind of a turn on that she went down so easily,"_**

_"You sick prat,"_

**_"What, it was a joke!"_**

"Not funny, guys…she's still here,"

The ground then split open with a loud, rib jarring crack. Tendrils of darkness and sparks of brimstone came belching out of chasm as something began rising from the infinite darkness. There was a noise. It was a long, agonizing, scream of a groan. It was inhuman if anything. There was that, and the rattling of wrought iron chains.

The Black Phoenix reappeared, but now it was perched on the shoulders of something. Phoenix flapped its wings to pull that something out of the void, its talons clutching with a vice grip. Jamison's jaw went slack and fell open, his eyes widening slightly. This happened when it dawned on him what was going on. The Black Phoenix was Summoning. When Andrea mentioned being the Living Fayth, she wasn't kidding.

Phoenix pulled Anima from the chasm, remaining on the Aeon's shoulders after the task was complete.

"Any ideas, guys?"

For the first time since his awareness of them, the other heads of Cerberus were quiet. That couldn't be a good sign. The one time he was actually going to listen they wouldn't talk. Yeah, that was his kind of luck. Either way, quiet or not, he thought a good start would be not to stand still. He'd slept since then but he still remembered Anima's power. Like hell he was just going to stand there. However, first he sheathed his sword. If his hunch was right, not even Tetsusaiga was going to hurt Anima or the Phoenix.

_"Just run, the others should be here soon."_

And that's what he did. He ran as hard as his aching legs would carry him. He was really starting to feel his wounds. What he wouldn't give to just surrender and go home. A hot bath sounded incredibly tempting right now.

Jamison could feel the Aeon's power all around him, listened as Anima tried to smite him with its powers. He just managed to evade the attacks, leaving charred marks in the grass in his wake. It was like a water balloon, slowly getting bigger and bigger until it was bound to burst. He prayed the Guardians would come before that happened.

Black slid to a stop for only a moment, pulling the doll from his coat once again. Just running around wasn't his style. He'd never deny his instinctual urge to fight back. The doll came to life once again, this time aiding Jamie in casting the powerful Holy spell. Brilliant white lights flickered and struck the Aeon along with Phoenix. The Living Fayth let out a pained scream, mixing with that of its Aeon. The sound made Jamie's blood temperature drop several degrees. Apparently that hurt, so he cast the spell a second…third time, until he hadn't the strength to cast it again.

Anima was banished after Black's retaliation, leaving Phoenix on its own like at the beginning. The Pyreflies scattered, not returning to the Living Fayth. Jamie staggered back as Phoenix fixed its gaze on him. Those white eyes were haunting.

**_"Hey, Jamie-boy; don't look now, but the save-your-ass-express is here,"_**

When he returned his attention to the demi-god he saw that Dragon was now fending Phoenix off, snapping his jaws and snarling at the Living Fayth. The giant slab of anxiety slid off of his shoulders when he felt Seraphim's soothing hand on his shoulder.

"We never expected this to happen," The Guardian said.

"You're telling me." Jamie grumbled.

"You're a mess,"

"It's nothing I'll die from. You know, you guys certainly pushed the envelope with this?"

"So sue us. We're here now, aren't we?"

"You have a point. But hey, you think I could talk to Rikku now?"

Seraphim blinked and her eyes turned green, and then ran her hands through her hair, turning it blonde again. Now Rikku looked him over, frowning at the state he was in.

"She really ate your lunch, didn't she?" she started brushing the dirt from his clothes, shaking her head at all the blood.

"Thanks for the encouragement, babe," he rolled his eyes.

"RIKKU!"

Both Jamie and the Al Bhed looked to see Dragon yelling for them. Phoenix had somehow gotten passed him and was now flying towards them for a head-on collision. Rikku put herself in front of Jamie, but at the last second he pushed her away. He wouldn't let her take the bullet for him this time.

Black Phoenix flew right into him, disappearing inside of his body. He flew back several feet, hitting the ground hard and lying flat on his back. Rikku ran to him, Dragon coming soon after.

Jamie's eyes were still open and he looked blankly up at the eclipse. That actually didn't hurt that much. In fact he was in hardly any pain at all. He just felt kind of funny. What in the hell had just happened anyway? He blinked when he saw Rikku leaning over him.

"Are you okay?" she was just borderline freaked out.

"I…I think so." He tried sitting up…it came easily. "I just feel a little…wonky."

"Where's Phoenix!" Dragon was beyond the borderline of freaked

The three of them exchanged glances, not exactly sure how to answer. I mean, Phoenix was there just a second ago. Dragon had this look on his face like he'd just seen the Apocalypse, in 3-D and wide screen. Like that would make a lot of difference. I haven't the slightest idea where that sentence came from. Someone just shoot me, please!

When Jamison attempted to stand, he found his body not really working. True, he was still breathing and all, but his limbs kind of just decided to crap out and in a sense go numb.

"Something…something's not right," he stammered. It felt like his brain was slowly coming to a stop, and he could feel it hitting the breaks.

"Jamie…Jamie, what's wrong?" Rikku was more worried now. She held him up by the shoulders, seeing his head beginning sway as if he were dizzy.

"I…I dunno," the world was spinning he suddenly felt the urge to throw up. He suddenly slapped his palms on either side of his head and started screaming. It felt like someone was cleaving his skull open with a red hot spoon. Yes, I said spoon. He fell back onto the grass, feeling as if he were stuck in dryer, being tossed about and slammed mercilessly against hard objects. In reality it was just his convulsions, which were quickly becoming more violent.

"What's wrong with him, Dragon!"

"Phoenix," it dawned on him. "Phoenix is inside of him!" (DUR!)

"We have to get it out!"

"Use Seraphim's sword; I will draw Phoenix out."

Rikku stepped aside and allowed Dragon to work his magic. He pinned Jamie to the ground by the shoulders, tearing his clenched fists away from his scalp, still screaming in utter agony. Once the opportunity presented itself, Dragon took one clawed hand and placed it in the middle of Jamison's chest, clutching at the skin then ripping it away. With one last drawn out scream Jamie was liberated of Phoenix, now caught in Dragon's grasp. The Living Fayth flapped its wings and lashed out at the Guardian angrily, wanting to tear Dragon to pieces.

Dragon saw that Seraphim had returned and was wielding her legendary sword. With a nod from his fellow Guardian he tossed Phoenix to the ground, giving Seraphim the perfect moment to drive the sword through its heart.

"Take Jamie back to Bevelle!" Rikku was speaking now, giving Dragon the urgent request.

He only nodded and picked Jamie up. He'd calmed down considerably and was much easier to carry. Dragon was soon gone, disappearing in the air. Rikku turned her attention back to the demi-god pinned to the ground, screeching in pain and anger at her.

Rikku drove the sword deeper, hearing metal scrape against something else. She didn't want to think about it. This sticky black fluid began erupting out of the wound, gushing like it was coming from a tap. Black Phoenix writhed and screamed, its wings flailing and talons clenching though empty.

"No more, Phoenix. No more," Rikku said, her voice wavering. She would never understand why she began to cry. "For God's sake, no more darkness!"

Rikku forced the sword down to the hilt, letting go of it and stepping back, watching as the power in the weapon purified the evil in the demi-god. That's what it was created for after all.

The black crud continued to spill out of the wound in Phoenix's chest, pasting the feathers together. As the power of the sword took effect, it faded from black to deep red, and then to a lighter, more human shade of blood. As the blood spread over Phoenix, the blackness in the feathers was washed away, returning to the original crimson and gold it had once been. In time Phoenix was no longer the tainted demi-god, but the Guardian. From there Phoenix retreated inward and left Andrea there, the sword still in her chest, squirming mildly in the intense pain, blood trickling from the edge of her mouth. She coughed pathetically as she looked at Rikku through half open eyes.

"D-damn you…again," she sputtered. "Why, Rikku…why did you abandon me?"

"I didn't…you abandoned yourself." She replied sadly, taking a few steps forward.

"You didn't exactly…t-try to stop me. N-none of you did."

"Didn't we?"

"You were too busy with your own lives. You especially. Do you have…any idea how b-betrayed I felt when you told me Black was your husband? You…you took advantage of me."

Rikku looked away from her for a moment. Perhaps there was a little painful truth in that comment.

"Did you really have to go off and act like you did, though? I mean, surely there was another way, Andrea."

"What else was I supposed to do?" Andrea lifted her head and looked at her sternly. "Sure, I could've forgiven him, forgotten all about it and tried to move on, but I'm fucking _sick_ and _tired _of doing that. I did it my entire life. This time I had the opportunity to give some good old fashioned payback for having what was rightfully mine stolen from me. And by God if I didn't take it,"

"You're being stupid! Stupid and selfish!"

"Easy for you to say. You still have a family…all I have now is a rock on Besaid coast big enough to trip over. Live a life like mine and then tell me that I'm being selfish."

"I can't,"

"Then you've got no room to judge me. Why don't you just leave me be and take your lecture to someone who gives a shit?"

Rikku shook her head. "What happened to you?"

"You're husband," she said bitterly. "Now just go away. I'm sure you've got better things to do than preach to me."

"Actually…we need you."

"So what else is new." Needless to say she was far from enthusiastic.

"We need Phoenix's help to put Cerberus back in balance again. I'm asking you to help us save Jamie's life."

"That's nice. Besides, even if I did, it's not like it would make any difference."

"What," Rikku's expression changed. "What are you talking about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"What have you done?"

When Andrea refused to answer Rikku strode over to her and took hold of the sword, pressing her weight down on the blade, driving it further still and making Andrea take in a sharp breath at the pain.

"What have you done!" the Al Bhed snarled.

Again Andrea was silent, looking back at her defiantly.

"Whatever it is…you're going to fix it,"

"Like hell I will," Andrea replied in a hiss through a clenched jaw.

Rikku twisted the sword hard into the wound. Andrea's body seized up and she squirmed. This was surprisingly very painful, even for her.

"Y-you can't kill me," she said. "E-even if you could…you wouldn't,"

"No, I wouldn't," Rikku replied. "But if I lose him…I'm gonna make you wish I could."

Andrea laughed flatly. "Now…now you understand. Now you understand my pain."

Authors' Note: There, it's done, happy now! Sheesh. Well, there shouldn't be but a few more chapters left and this will be finished. We'll see. Hope you guys liked it, and just a minor note…I'm a closet kink freak…there, I said it. Have fun!


	21. Copyright Infringement

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Copyright Infringement and Blatant Matrix Rip-offs**

Dragon had done as Rikku asked and taken Jamie back to Bevelle. He met with the others in the throne room beneath the temple.

Yuna saw the state Jamie was in and felt herself shudder. Already she could feel that something was terribly wrong. She had Dragon lay him on the floor and she knelt down by his head. She pressed her forehead to his with her hands cupping either side of his face. After several tense moments her eyebrows knitted tightly together and she sat upright again. The look on her face was very troubling.

"What is it? What did you see?" Dragon asked anxiously.

Yuna looked at the Guardian, making an attempt to speak. She was interrupted by a loud slam coming from the large double doors that led out of the throne room. Everyone's head jerked in the direction of the only entrance at the sound, watching as the doors flew open and collided with the wall.

They saw Andrea fall heavily to the floor, like she'd been shoved, and Rikku followed closely. She'd removed the blade from Andrea's chest and had slipped it into her belt allowing it to hang at her hip. Never before had anyone seen the Al Bhed so angry. You could almost feel the fury as it showed itself flashing in her emerald eyes.

Andrea attempted to stand, rolling onto her hands and knees. Rikku's face twisted into a fierce grimace and she kicked her hard in the stomach, sending her clear across the room to the foot of the throne. Everyone watched with wide eyes, and Paine's mouth slacked open. She was terribly impressed.

No one dared move as Rikku nearly stomped her way over and yanked Andrea up by her belt. She dragged her where Jamie lay and threw her down hard.

"_Fix him_!" she snarled.

Andrea looked up at her fellow Guardian with a bruised and bloody face. When she didn't answer Rikku clapped her hand tightly around her throat.

"Rikku, stop!" Dragon pleaded. "We don't even know what's wrong with him yet!"

The Al Bhed looked at Yuna, somehow able to sense that the High Summoner had something to say. Yuna felt a shiver up her back. She was compelled to answer.

"What did you see?" Rikku asked. Her voice was unusually soft.

"Th-that's just it," she stuttered a little. "I didn't. There's nothing there,"

Rikku's eyes widened in despairing shock. She snapped her glare back to Andrea.

"_What have you done_?!"

Andrea laughed. She choked a little bit, spitting out a loose tooth, but she still laughed.

"I _was_ just going to kill him," she said. "But I think this is better. Now both of you can suffer,"

"What do you mean?!" Rikku was so incredibly pissed off.

Suddenly Jamie stirred, his eyebrows tightening and then his eyes blinking open. Rikku was frozen in place as she watched him sit up, rubbing his head with a slight groan. Rikku let Andrea go and went to his side, throwing her arms around his neck and nearly bursting into tears.

"Jamie, are you okay? I was so worried!"

"Yeah-sure, I'm fine. Never felt better actually," he smiled at her innocently.

"You sure?"

"Of course! I mean, with a hot woman like you hanging on me, why wouldn't I? But I have a question,"

"What?"

"Just who are you and why are you calling me Jamie?"

Andrea suddenly burst out laughing. Rikku's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You don't know me? That can't be possible…I'm your _wife_!"

"Whoa, really?! Awesome!" and his face lit up. "However, I would like to think I couldn't forget someone like you…but it looks like I have."

Andrea continued to laugh until Rikku was fed up with it. She stood up, grabbed Andrea by the wrist and jerked her up.

"_Fix him_!" she screamed. "Fix him or so help me I'll-,"

"Or you'll what? You've got nothing on me," Andrea sneered.

Rikku put her to the floor again very hard, her head bouncing on marble. She planted her foot just over the gaping sword wound in Andrea's chest and looked down on her, her hands fisted on her hips.

"I don't have anything, do I? So I guess these don't matter to you anymore?"

Andrea looked up and saw her holding something between her first two fingers. Andrea's fist clenched and then she realized what she'd taken.

"Rikku don't!" Andrea's face suddenly showed panic and tears began forming in the corners of her eyes. "Please, Rikku; they're all I have left!"

The Al Bhed had managed to take Andrea's rings without her noticing. Somehow she knew that would get her to listen.

"Help us and I'll give them back to you."

"Fine, fine; I don't care! Just let me have them!" Andrea pleaded.

"When Jamie's back to normal," Rikku asserted. "No sooner,"

When Andrea finally gave in Rikku let her stand. They knew what had to be done now but they had to give Jamie a quick explanation. He consented with little persuasion, making a point that if his wife was that good looking, he'd want to remember marrying her. Rikku, Andrea, Dragon, and Yuna remained in the throne room while Paine, Baralai, and Celeste took Eve outside.

"So, what needs to be done?" Yuna asked, looking at Andrea, cringing at her black eye.

"I have to call the power back, stop the magic. I sent it to the deepest part of his subconscious, knowing that if it started there it would totally consume him." Andrea watched Rikku's fists tighten. "His psyche is probably wandering around in there somewhere. We'll have to find him. He's the only one that can take us where we need to go."

Everyone nodded. "Ready? Let's do it."

_(II)_

The four of them found each other at the beginning of a long corridor. Yep, you guessed it; a hallway of doors. Cliché yes, but effective.

They looked around. "Everything looks fine here," Rikku said curiously.

"It hasn't spread this far yet." Andrea said. "It's taking his deep memories first, and then it'll come for the rest." She looked around a moment. "Jeeze, was _my_ head this boring?"

"I'm sure we don't have a lot of time," Dragon interjected. "Let's move on."

Everyone seemed to agree and they started forward. After what felt like an hour of walking past countless nondescript doors they paused. They paused and stared.

"Do I even _want_ to _ask_?" Andrea refused to blink.

The door looked to be brand new. It was carved finely from hardwood and stained a dark chestnut. However, that wasn't the strange thing. The peculiarity was what was currently hanging from the brass doorknob. All four of them bent down for a closer look. Suddenly, after the realization hit, Andrea drew back and wretched.

"Dude, that's sick!"

"What's the matter?" Rikku was grinning.

"That's a man thong! What the hell is wrong with your _sick puppy_ of a husband?!"

Rikku giggled and took the scandalous garment off the door, stretched it on her index finger, pulled it back as far as she could, and let it fly.

"Ow, my eye! Dammit, Rikku!" Andrea cursed, trying to stand up again after the ruthless sneak attack.

Suddenly the door flew open. They could hear heavy metal music belching out into the hall and Rikku couldn't help but smile. Even after several implements normally reserved for more private moments in the bedroom of a sexually dominating control freak surrounded her all she could do was grin widely and go "Yay, finally!" The door slammed after she was yanked inside.

It was dead silent for what seemed like a short eternity. No one spoke or made a sound…I don't think anyone even bothered to breathe. For the longest time there was little more than silence. Then, out of nowhere, the ground shook violently, the door flew open, and Rikku stumbled out into the hallway. The door closed promptly after her.

Rikku found her footing and stood up. If they didn't know any better, her companions would think her drunk. Unfortunately, they _did_ know better. Rikku had this punch-drunk look on her face, and the most askew smile they'd ever seen. Andrea's head tilted to the side, her face twisting in an expression of God-knows-what at the sight of the dark red mark on her neck…and shoulder…and…elsewhere.

"You guys," Rikku panted. "I just had my world rocked…in _seven_ different positions…" and she just smiled.

"_Eww_, too much info! Let's get out of here you guys," Andrea choked again, nearly throwing up. She shook her head, knowing that this was going to be one hell of a day. In a short time they reached the end of the hall, finding a door and hardly hesitation to open it.

They found themselves in a round room with only three doors. The one in front of them looked like nothing special. It was a plain wooden door with the finish slowly peeling off and a tarnished, copper knob. This door was so ordinary, it was disappointing. To their right, they saw a stained mahogany door with a brass knocker and a curved brass handle. Lamps hung in either side of the door. Andrea thought it looked like a door you'd find in Britain. On their left, they saw a rough steel door with claw marks and dents in it. On it was stretched some police tape, stating "Keep Out", a Metallica poster featuring the Black Album, and a Happy Bunny poster with had the little rodent telling you to 'Go suck someplace else.'

They figured out quickly which door belonged to whom. Jamie's was the middle door, Dias owned the British door, and Noct had the punk rocker door.

Yuna turned to Andrea and asked, "Where should we start? When we went into your mind, it was easy enough to figure out what to do. You only had one mind for us to sort through. Which door should we go through?"

"Dias' door," Andrea said immediately. "He's more the voice of reason here. And besides, Jamie's head will be too fucked up for us to get through safely alone. We'd need a guide, like Dias."

"But why don't we go through Noct's door?" Dragon asked.

"From what you guys have told me, he's the one that…I don't want to get distracted." Andrea wanted to think as little of that night as possible.

"Understood," Dragon said. "We'll enter the door to the right."

When they opened the door, they were met with another hall of doors. The only thing different about this is that standing right inside the door was a man sitting asleep on an old horse drawn buggy. He wore a top hat pulled over his eyes, had a whip in one hand and the reins in the other. He wore worn clothes and gloves that had the fingers worn off. The horse turned its head to the group of travelers and whinnied. The horse driver nearly jumped out of his seat and turned in the direction the horse was looking. He looked exactly like Jamie, though his teeth were a dentist's nightmare…or dream, however you want to look at it.

"Well, 'allo, 'allo," the driver said in the thickest British accent Andrea had ever heard. "An 'oo moit you lot be?"

"I'm Yuna, and this is Rikku, Andrea, and Dragon. We came in here looking for Dias."

"You don' say?" The driver said. "You lot are from the outside. An' you wanna see the guvner, by the day. Well don' 'jes stand there gettin' yer knickers in a pinch. Hop in me cart an oil take you to the guvner faster than you can say two kippers on a tea cozy."

"Did any of you guys understand a word he just said?" Rikku whispered. Everyone shook their heads. But they all climbed in the cart nonetheless.

"Ah, ah," the cab driver said as Dragon moved over. "Sorry, mate, but yer makin' po' Betsy a mite bit jittery. Ye'll have ta' walk."

Dragon shrugged and resigned himself to walking just behind the cart. The driver flicked the reins and cracked the whip and soon his horse, Betsy, was moving.

"Just out of curiosity," Yuna asked, "what is your name?"

"An' why do you wanna know?"

"Every being we've encountered in anyone's mind has had a name, usually named after an emotion or thought process. What's yours?"

"Me name's Generosity. I'm the one that guides people troo deez 'allways and makes sure they don' get lost. I know these tunnels like the back o me 'and."

"At least we don't have to walk," Andrea said.

"Yeah," Generosity said. "Quite a stroke a luck you lot found me. Anyways, up on the right, ye'll find the libry," he said, pointing to a large open hall lined with books. "Guvner did always pride 'imself on knowledge."

"Speaking of knowledge," Dragon said, "What can you tell us about the Cerberus' mind after Sin destroyed the center head?"

"A bit o chaos, that was," Generosity turned his head. "We were all new to de' world. We ad no idear where ta go. But Guvner Dias stepped up and assured us that 'e would make sure us all 'ad jobs."

"What about the Noct side?" Andrea asked.

"'Aven't 'eard much 'bout them. Dias says 'e threatens ta destroy all you lot 'ave."

"Why is that?" Rikku asked.

"Don' know. Somethin' 'bout a mistake, far as I can figure. An' on yer left, you see the sense o 'umor." They passed a door that had a piece of parchment pinned to it. Rikku leaned out to read it.

"Eviction Notice?" she read aloud.

"Guvner's all 'bout no nonsense. 'E won' 'esitate til 'e gets wot 'e wants. Thought it got in deh way. Well, 'ere we are." Generosity slowed the cart to a stop and let him passengers get out. They were at the base of a flight of steps that led up to what looked like the front of an exquisite mansion.

"We're there already?" Yuna asked.

"Guvner runs a tight ship, 'e does. Keeps everythin' nice an' tidy." Well, oil leave you ladies 'lone. Good day." Generosity flicked the reins and left.

They walked up the flight of steps and looked at the door. It looked just like the door they used to get in Dias' mindscape in the first place. Rikku reached for the knob, but Dragon grabbed her hand.

"We can't just barge in like that," Dragon said. He reached for the knocker with his scaly hand and knocked on the door.

A butler that looked exactly like Jamie answered the door. He carried himself with unbelievable posture and if his nose had been any higher, Andrea would have been tempted to reach out and flick him in the Adam's apple. Flick him or punch him…whichever.

"Yes?" the butler asked.

"We're here to see Dias," Yuna said.

"Master Dias is expecting you," the butler said. "Walk this way."

"I _could_ walk that way," Rikku whispered to Andrea, "but I don't think I can get a corn cob that far up my ass."

Andrea bit her tongue to keep from laughing. The butler turned and glared at her down his nose, but kept walking. The butler took them up the stairs. Dragon had to squeeze his way up the stairwell, finding his gut a bit wider than he originally thought.

The Butler led the four of them to the end of the hall and opened the door for them, bowing his head a little as they entered in. Dragon was content with sitting outside. At that the man in the penguin suit left them to their own devices.

Dias was sitting by the fire in a fine leather chair in house slippers and a velvet robe. He looked up form his book to acknowledge their presence and greet them.

"Welcome! It's so good to see all of you," Andrea noticed he looked at her funny. "I take it you're here for information?"

"Yup," Rikku answered flatly.

"Well, if I may be so bold as to say I know what you're after. You see, when Chaosin was destroyed, the collective consciousness was split; so what you need first is Noct's portion of the Mind Essence. Once you have obtained that, you can return here and I will give you my half. From then on you must find the Psyche and give them to him. With them the balance will be returned and Cerberus will be whole again."

"Isn't there an easier way?" Rikku whined a little.

"It's the _only_ way, I'm afraid. Only a Guardian can undo the entirety of Andrea's magic. Not to mention it has to be her opposite, so there's no way around this."

"Dammit, you suck," Rikku groaned, glancing at Andrea who didn't resist the urge show the Al Bhed her social finger.

"Well, off you all go, not much time to wait, chop-chop!" he watched them head for the way they came and sputtered. "No, you can't go that way!"

"Why the hell not?" Andrea snapped lightly.

"There's no door there,"

All of them looked, not believing him, and found the truth in his words. Dragon was no longer in the hallway and there was no longer a door. It had become a solid wall.

"Take this door. The passage is quite chaotic, but it's far shorter a distance. Once you have the Mind Essence, you can find your way back here like before. Good luck." And he smiled.

They followed his advice and exited through the new door that had materialized where a book case had once been. Andrea could help but give him a dirty look, a distrustful glare as she was the last through the portal and closed it.

"Andrea?" Yuna said. "Just out of curiosity, what did you do to Jamie to make him lose his memories?"

"If I remember correctly," Andrea said, "he's the one that showed me how to do it."

_(II)_

_(Previously)_

Black Phoenix flew right into him, disappearing inside of his body. He flew back several feet, hitting the ground hard and lying flat on his back. Rikku ran to him, Dragon coming soon after.

Inside Jamie's mind, Andrea changed back to her human form and looked around. She discovered she was in a hall of doors. She faintly felt a sense of déjà vu descend upon her. She walked around trying to find Jamie's Psyche so she could pound him into sausage. She looked in various doors but found nothing. Except a Jamie painting a huge mural, a Jamie jamming on a bass guitar, and a Jamie hung upside down in a shark tank wearing a straight jacket and 20 pounds of chains.

"This guy fantasizes about Houdini?" Andrea wondered. She turned just in time to catch the blade of Tetsusaiga between her hands.

"Get out of my head!" Jamie screamed.

"Make me!"

The battle that took place was very similar to the one outside. The only difference was that Jamie had the upper hand. This was his home field after all. He could be faster, stronger, more powerful if he so willed it. It was his mind.

Jamie took the initiative, not allowing Andrea a chance to maneuver against him. Her lurched forward, gripping her by the shoulders and forcing her to the floor. He reared back his hand, balled in a fist, and socked her one good time in the face. The back of her head went into the floor, making a deep indention. He punched her at least two times before pausing a moment, wanting to see the extent of what he'd done. At first she just laid there, not moving or showing any signs of being alive. He leaned in close, trying to listen for even the slightest of breaths.

In the moment of a heartbeat, Andrea's hand reached up and grabbed him by the bottom jaw. Yes, I mean her fingers curled tightly around even his teeth. She gave him a fierce shove, allowing her the room to stand. With an angrily curled lip she opened her wings in a hail of ruby sparks. The very temperature seemed to rise at the subtle transformation. Jamie got up and rubbed his lip with his sleeve, not finding any blood but half-expecting to. He quickly stood and drew 'Saiga, another rain of sparkling light as a shocking prologue. Without hesitating he charged, blade tip forward.

Andrea deflected Jamie's attack. She caught the sword between her palms, allowed it to force her back. Her bare feet slid across the floor with a high pitched squeal of skin on tile. Finally she shifted her feet to be parallel and her hips to turn sideways. Her movement stopped and she accepted Jamie's force. The motion allowed her to yank the blade for his hands and send it flying into a large steel vault door. Jamie pulled his sword from it only to see a brilliant light spill out of the hole. Jamie looked at the sign above the door and saw, "Movie Vault".

"Oh, shit…" Jamie and Andrea said before they got pulled in.

_Blink_

Jamie walked down a rain soaked street. His black coat and hair clung to him. He was wearing sunglasses despite the darkness around him. He looked in the windows of the buildings around him and saw multiple Andreas; all sporting the same suit and tie. He walked forward and saw one Andrea standing in the street before him. Jamie stopped walking and stared at the woman before him.

"Mr. Jamison," Andrea said. "_We've_ been expecting you."

"Where'd all the other yous come from?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know," Andrea said with a smile. "But I like it."

_Blink_

Andrea walked through the forest wearing a suit of armor and carrying a large sword at her side. She soon came to a bridge and saw Jamie standing there wearing black armor and carrying Masamune.

"None shall pass!" Jamie said. Andrea walked up to him and quickly cleaved his arms off.

"What are you gonna do now? Bleed on me?" Andrea continued across the bridge only to be kicked in the butt.

"I can still fight you know," Jamie said, still bleeding.

"You're really pissing me off right now," Andrea growled.

"NEE!" comes a voice behind Andrea. The sound caused her to flinch and go rolling across the ground.

"Who the hell are you?" Andrea asked to the really tall man with a disproportional head.

"They call me…Tim?"

_Blink_

Jamie swung down from the crow's nest and clashed swords with Andrea. She wielded a cutlass and Tetsusaiga had shrunk to the size of one. All around them, the pirates on the ship stared at the two fighting above them. Andrea deflected Jamie's blows and punched him in the chest so hard he flew into the black sails behind him. While Jamie was tangled up, Andrea took a breather.

"I need a drink," she said. "Rum, maybe."

"Sorry, love," a pirate next to her said. He wore a bright red bandanna, had several beads strung through his beard, and had the wildest eyes Andrea had ever seen. "Rum's gone, savvy?"

"Why is the rum always gone?" Andrea shouted.

"That's exactly what I said," the pirate agreed. "As to why, you can thank a certain governor's daughter," the pirate nodded over to a woman standing near him.

"It was the rum or our lives, you incompetent twit!" she said.

"You're too kind, love," the pirate said.

_Blink_

Andrea and Jamie stood in the bell tower of an old Catholic church. Although, Andrea could tell something was up when her head moved.

"What the…" she said, putting a hand to her head. "I'm…bald? What the fuck is this? And what's this thing in my forehead? Is that a bulls eye?"

"Dammit!" Jamie shouted. Andrea looked and he was dress in a deep red jacket, deep red leather pants, and his mask was adorned with horns and red eyes. "We get transported into a cool superhero movie, and I'm the freaking blind guy!" He stumbled around…blindly. How else? "Where the hell are you?"

Andrea grabbed one of the smaller bells off of the floor, grabbed one of Jamie's sticks, and put the bell over his head. "Ding!" she said before rapping the bell lightly…a couple dozen times.

"Ow!" Jamie shouted before he fell into the stained glass. The glass shattered and he plummeted to the streets below. He hit the ground with a resounding thump, but he stood, shakily, but he stood. "I'm…okay…" he muttered right before a runaway moped slammed into his right leg.

_Blink_

Andrea and Jamie stood in the middle of a massive city, facing each other down. Andrea wore black robes accented with red, and Jamie wore brown and tan robes. They both ignited their light sabers. Jamie was a cool blue, almost white, and Andrea's was a deep blood red. They clashed their light sabers and sparks of energy flew. Every blow Jamie made was blocked or parried by Andrea. And Andrea's moves were deflected recklessly, as if Jamie had no experience with a sword. They eventually came to a group of Senators on their way to a Senate meeting. One of them stepped forward.

"Whysa yousa fightin?" he said. "Yousa need be lublubin, none o dis pokey die die yousa doin."

Jamie and Andrea looked at each other. Andrea pulled her light saber back. "If you'll excuse me," she said. She flung a hand towards the Gungun and his hands flew to his neck. He gasped a few times before eventually going limp.

"Any of you have a problem with that?" Andrea asked. The Senators shook their heads.

Andrea walked back over to Jamie. "Not that I care that he's dead, but…you're evil, you know that?" Jamie asked.

Andrea smiled and swung her light saber into Jamie's. "I try."

_Blink_

Andrea and Jamie battled through the snow. Somehow, through all of the movie spoofs, Andrea had got a hold of Masamune and Tetsusaiga rang against it. They battled through the snow, getting closer and closer to a large factory in the background. Jamie knocked Andrea to the ground and took Masamune. Just as Jamie was about to make the killing blow, he heard singing behind him.

"Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocolateer!"

Jamie and Andrea slowly turned their heads to see a display of singing dancing puppet. Five children and their…Jamie and Andrea could only assume parents or grandparents, stood between them and the display, oblivious to the battle behind them.

"I waited for you in Star Wars," Jamie said. "I expect you to do the same for me." He settled Masamune in its usual place on his back and walked towards the people. When he arrived to the display, it was in flames and before the ten people stood a man in a purple coat, a purple hat, and purple gloves.

"Hello star shine! The earth says he…" he didn't finish because Jamie had slammed his Tetsusaiga into the 'Amazing Chocolateer'.

After he was dead, Jamie pointed down at him and shouted, "That was for Gene Wilder, you son of a bitch!"

Jamie walked past the shocked group of people and heard the fat one say, "Does this mean no chocolate?"

Andrea stared at him, still on the ground. "Why the hell did you do that?" she asked.

"I grew up with Gene Wilder and orange Oompa Loompas. The new movie was good, but there were certain things I couldn't stand. Like him," Jamie jerked a thumb at the corpse over his shoulder.

_Blink_

Andrea wore a long black duster and stood in a room lined with screens. Each one showed her. In front of her sat Jamie in a white suit. He looked at her and then looked down.

Jamie looked back at Andrea and asked, "Why do I get the sudden urge to say 'Systemic Anomaly'?"

_Blink_

Andrea and Jamie were surrounded by people. Jamie was wearing white again and Andrea wore red, although this time, she had a pair of horns growing from her forehead.

"I know this movie!" Andrea said. She reached up and felt her horns. "This means I'm Satan!"

"It also means I kick your ass," Jamie said, reaching into his pocket. He brought out a large white ball.

"What are you going to do?' she asked. "Summon Ozzy? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a bat, so he can't bite my head off."

Jamie threw the ball down and from the smoke rose, not Ozzy, but the lead guitarist for Metallica.

Andrea gasped. "Kirk…Hammett?" She was too distracted by the presence of her guitar hero to notice the Flying V that Hammett brought down on her head.

_Blink_

"Let me stand next to your fire," the woman in white sang up on stage.

Jamie and Andrea stared each other down again; a new movie, a new chance to kill each other. Jamie now wore torn jeans, a solid black shirt, tucked into them, and a black hat that said 'Jamie's World' on it. Andrea wore the same torn jeans, a blue flannel shirt, and a belt. She recognized this movie and knew what the belt was. She pulled the tazer out and zapped Jamie right in the chest with it. He lay on the floor tossing and convulsing for a while, but got up. He saw another white ball lying on the ground, so he picked it up and threw it at Andrea.

From the smoke emerged, not Ozzy, not Kirk Hammett, not even Jimi Hendrix. From the smoke emerged one of the greatest martial artists this world has known. Luckily, this man was Andrea's martial arts idol as well. She stared in wonder at the man before her, his beard exactly how she imagined it. His hair exactly how she imagined it. She couldn't help but drool in the mere presence of this man.

It was Chuck Norris.

Andrea sank to her knees and started bowing. "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

"Ha!" Jamie shouted. "I knew you'd be no match for this guy. I win again!" But he didn't win, because at that moment, Chuck spun around and kicked Jamie right in the jaw. Jamie spun around and landed on a table. Andrea looked up and saw Chuck Norris extending a hand to her. She took it, staring at the contact. She stood and looked away from her idol, still not worthy.

"You're worthy," Chuck said. Andrea looked at him, still amazed. "Not even in _his _mind could I harm another martial artist." Andrea was about to thank him, then suddenly…

_Blink_

"I'm king of the world!"

_Blink_

"You love this woman, Don't ya?"

"Yes."

"You wanna hold her?"

"Yes."

"_Please_ her?"

"_Yes!_"

"Then ya got ta, got ta try a little tenderness! Chicks love that romantic crap!"

_Blink_

"Expecto Patronum!"

_Blink_

"Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble!"

_Blink_

"I's scared o the dahk."

_Blink_

"The _dog's_ name was Indy!"

_Blink_

"You got me freakin' sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?"

_Blink_

"There is no spoon."

_Blink_

"What part of Georgia you from? South Central?"

_Blink_

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Jamie looked at the pills in front of him. He reached towards the blue one.

"Also, the blue pill is a suppository."

_Blink_

"Don't try to leave 'em Robin! That's why they shot their Daddy!"

_Blink_

"Shall these quips and sentences or paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No! The world must be peopled!"

_Blink_

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

_Blink_

"Funny, she doesn't look Druish."

_Blink_

"Did you just soil yourself?"

"Maybe."

_Blink_

Andrea climbed out of the light, leaving Jamie to blink in and out of various movie spoofs. She was about to pull her foot out of the vault when she felt something jerk on her leg. She pulled as hard as she could and found Jamie latched on to her leg. She swung her leg around and flung Jamie into the doors on the opposite wall.

"Now that we're out of the movie spoof from hell, I can properly kill you," Andrea said.

"I think I want something to kill, too," Jamie grunted. "I'm tired of you fucking around with my head."

"What?" Andrea said, amused. "Killing Willy Wonka wasn't enough for you?"

"What shot who, now?" Jamie asked, confused. "I killed Gene Wilder?"

"No," Andrea said, annoyed. "You killed the _new_ Willy; the one played by Johnny Depp."

"_New _Willy Wonka? There was no new Willy Wonka. I read about it. They couldn't find anyone to play Willy, so the movie was canceled. And Johnny Depp couldn't have played him. He's just too cool."

"What are you talking about? I saw you slam your sword into him and kill him just like I killed Jar Jar."

"What the hell's a Jar Jar?" Jamie asked, more confused than ever.

Andrea was about to answer, but then she realized something. They were in Jamie's mind, and he couldn't remember these occurrences because they had destroyed the source of those memories. They ventured into his memories of those movies and destroyed part of the memory, so as far as Jamie was concerned, Jar Jar and the Depp Willy Wonka never existed. She smiled and rushed Jamie. He was about to bring his sword down on her, but she sidestepped and brought her knee into his gut.

"Hate to hurt and run, Black," Andrea snickered, "but I have a few things to do."

Andrea changed to her Phoenix form and flew through the many halls of Jamie's mind, searching for the one door. She was somewhere around the part of the mind that organized what Jamie saw, smelled, touched, tasted, or heard, when she saw it. 'Main Memory Bank'.

She opened the door and saw a vast library filled with books that undoubtedly contained Jamie's many memories. She saw a few copies of Jamie carrying a large book with, what Andrea could only guess was a light saber burn through the middle. That must have been his memory of Jar Jar. She looked out into the library and saw more copies tending to a book that had been hacked to pieces and now leaked chocolate.

She focused her mind and soon, Ifrit was tearing into every book she could get a hold of. With a fiendish glee she ripped pages, burned volume after volume, and threw entire shelves into the walls. She set half of the library on fire and then changed into Phoenix. With a resounding cry a hemisphere or mystical flame radiated from her, setting everything asunder in an inferno. She scorched the entire library, nearly ever book in ashes. She changed back to her human form and exited the room. As she closed the door behind her, she snapped the knob off.

"Oops," she said, tossing the knob into the nothingness.

_(II)_

Now they were in an open, dome shaped room. In originality, the ceiling was made from panels of clear glass but was now stained black and cracking. Andrea saw this and thought of her deal with Rikku. Her conscience was tugging at the back of her mind, making it that much harder to ignore her obligation. She stopped, the rest of the group halting as well.

"I have to call what I can of the magic back. Before we go any further and I change my mind." And she clapped her hands together. Red and gold sparks flickered from her palms and they began to glow. She widened the space between her hands and then raised them over her head, drawing back the tendrils of shadow seeping through the splintered glass.

_(II)_

True, he was slowly forgetting everything he ever knew, but that didn't change his mantle as Guardian. Jamie felt as if he'd just awakened from a deep sleep, a dreamless one at that. He heard the Cerberus, heard the Guardian calling him. He stood in the darkness of his mind, stood steady and upright. Jamison continued to listen to Cerberus, following instructions to move forward.

Without hesitation Jamie came to a wall of fire and passed through it unharmed. He found himself still within darkness, but no longer his own. It was different, unfamiliar yet it had a strangely recognizable feeling about it. He almost recognized it.

Before him was a door, a great steel one. It was locked tight. There were chains, barricades, padlocks…so many things to keep it shut. Jamie stepped forward and reached for the door, touching the cold metal, running his hands over the chains. Something knocked from the inside of the door. He listened closely for a moment, hearing it again and knocking back. Whoever was there exchanged sounds with Jamie until he tried the old "shave-and-a-haircut" routine. At that, the person behind the door simply shouted; "Just get me the fuck out of here!"

Out of impulse he reached for Tetsusaiga, never assuming that it might not be there. He drew the massive sword and cut into the door at its hinges. There was a loud screech of metal scraping metal and then silence. Jamie stepped aside as the door came tumbling forward, smacking flat onto the ground.

"Finally; thought I was gonna go nuts in there,"

Jamie was confused for a moment. He could see Andrea standing there before him, yet she wasn't trying to kill him. Could this be some strange Guardian mind trick? Don't worry; I'll keep Yoda from writing on this anymore.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm Andrea…her heart anyway. Thanks for getting me out of there, I appreciate it."

Whoa…she was thanking him!

"Look, Jamie, I got some things I have to tell you. You don't have to listen, but you really should."

"Okay,"

"You have to get Andrea and Phoenix connected like they should. The Alignment won't happen if you don't."

"So how do I do that?"

"Well, once she and I are on working terms again, it shouldn't be that hard. But it's going to be really difficult to do just that. Somehow you have to get her body to reboot; you know…a super-restart or something."

"Yeah? Hmmm," he stroked his chin to think a moment. "I think I have an idea, but what about you?"

"I've already got a plan; I got places to go and not a lot of time to get there. If you've got your mind straight than I don't have problem. Just do it soon, whatever it is." And the Heart was gone.

Man, Jamie thought; if that's any inclination of what Andrea is like with a heart, he was willing to take any chances. It was damn well worth it just to get her off his ass.

He suddenly felt something jerking at the back of his head. It tugged a second time, but painfully. A third time then a fourth, and then it was dark again.

_(II)_

Andrea fell back, her hands clutching at her chest. It looked like she was in a serious amount of pain. Jamie remained still on the floor and the others watched what was unfolding in front of them. The last thing any of them recall was Andrea calling back the black magic before all four of them were forced out of Jamison's mind.

"Ow…son of a bitch-_OW_!" Andrea roared at the horrible feeling she had in her chest. "I'm _feeling_! It's…it's like someone's taking a jack-hammer to my chest!"

Deep down, unbeknownst to everyone, Andrea's heart was really slamming away at her ribs with a sledge hammer, but she figured it a close enough guess.

Everyone watched, not sure what to do. When whatever she was feeling appeared to subside, Andrea stood, her knees wobbling a little. Suddenly she looked at Yuna, pointing a shaking hand at the High Summoner.

"Yuna, quick," she panted. "Tell me the saddest thing you can think of."

"Um," her expression was blank. "As we speak thousands of Al Bhed children are suffering from starvation."

"No, sadder,"

"Uh…Balding Chocobo Disease is becoming more and more rampant with every year,"

"It is?!" Rikku gasped.

"_No_, sadder!"

"Well…despite your best efforts you're still the _only_ person on Spira that knows how to make gravy,"

Andrea suddenly began wailing, crying heavy crocodile tears. "I am?! I'm the only one who knows how to make gravy?! That's so horrible…_and I care_! What is the deal?!"

Both Rikku and Yuna were about to make their best effort towards an explanation, but that changed immediately. In their distraction, no one saw Jamison open his eyes, sit up and motion towards the High Summoner. It was far too late when she realized the Guardian had pulled her gun from the holster at her hip and stood up.

"You've got a heart, Andrea," he said. "That's the deal."

For a split second Andrea's eyes widened in fear. It was genuine fear. She only blinked once before Jamison found his mark and pulled the trigger. He pulled it twice before Andrea fell back, eyes wide open and with two new holes in the left side of her chest. She screamed in pain, the sound covering up the two doors swinging open.

"We heard shots," Paine couldn't finish. She saw the scene inside and it erased her train of thought.

Andrea gripped hard at the wounds in her chest, crying and trying to breathe steadily.

"Oh…_fuck_…it hurts!" she was writhing in agony. She coughed and blood spilled out of her mouth.

Out of her nature as a White Mage, Yuna went to Andrea, having her lay on the floor with her head on her lap. If anyone bothered to look, they would notice the dread and utter despair on Dragon's face.

"Don't heal her, Yuna," Jamie said coldly.

"She's suffering, Jamie! You can't expect me to just sit here and-,"

"It has to be this way."

No one moved and everyone watched.

"Yuna, I'm sorry," Andrea said, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry for everything. No, don't stop me…I need to say it." She made herself look at Rikku then Jamie and then back to Rikku. "I hope you guys can find it in yourselves to forgive me. I don't regret anything, and I meant everything, but I'm sorry I caused you all so much trouble."

"Why so penitent all of a sudden?" Paine had come over and knelt down. Andrea was her friend too after all.

"Looks like this is it," Andrea had calmed considerably, but it was obvious there was still a lot of pain. "I'm dying."

"You can tough it out, Andrea; I know you can." Yuna assured her. Andrea only shook her head.

"No, not this time." She looked to the Al Bhed. "Please, Rikku; let me have my rings back."

Considering the situation she didn't argue or try to break a deal. She pulled them from her pocket and returned them. Andrea managed to put the rings back on her finger, right where they belonged. She suddenly winced, holding back a scream.

"God, it hurts!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Yuna," she was becoming frantic. "I'm scared,"

Yuna looked at her, felt her body trembling. She truly was afraid. For the first time since they had met, Andrea was terrified.

"I'm so sorry," and after a hard cough, spitting up blood, she fell still. There was a very long silence where Jamie saw it time to return Yuna her pistol, which she didn't seem to notice. He simply sat it on the floor next to her, saying not a word.

"How can this be right?" Yuna asked quietly, her head shaking back and forth. "This doesn't make any sense."

"It will. In fact it's actually beginning to become clearer for me." Jamie said. Somehow he sounded different, but how so was another matter.

"So what now?" Paine looked up at Jamie, searching for an answer.

"Midnight tonight…that's when it will happen. We need to get me, myself, and dick-face straightened out before then."

"But without Phoenix's power…how can we?"

"It'll be easier for me now. Just trust me," and he looked at Rikku and smiled.

"So you're saying you want us to go back in?"

Jamie nodded and shifted into a crouch to lie back down on the floor. They all gathered round him once again. Suddenly Yuna paused.

"Wait, we need someone else to go with us. We have to replace the muscle…" she didn't feel the need to finish.

"I'll go, I've done this before." Paine offered and came to the High Summoner's side.

"Okay," Yuna nodded. "Let's do it,"

They returned to the room with the glass dome, seeing the injured iron door in front of them that led to Noct's realm. They were well aware that there wasn't much time left, and so they made a dash for the door, ripping it almost off the hinges as it opened. On the other side they were greeted by more than just a messy room that one would think belonged to roadie. Yuna shouted as she saw Noct flee through a door on the far side of the room and immediately set in pursuit of him. The party was stopped short. Up from the floor came a group of shadows, thick and full of life mysterious. They peeled up from the floor, taking shape and becoming what they were. They were copies of Noct, each wielding Tetsusaiga and Masamune. Yet each of them represented a different aspect of the Guardian's dark side. Hatred, malice, vengeance, fury; all of them had manifested to bar their path.

The party drew their weapons, those of them that had weapons. Dragon simply snarled ferociously, the black slits in his eyes narrowed.

"We can't waste much time here, we have to go after Noct now!" Yuna dictated, her fingers itching. "Two of us can stay behind and hold _them_ off while the others keep on ahead."

"So who stays and who goes?" Paine had already plunged into the fray, matching blades with one of Noct's clones.

"I'll go!" Rikku volunteered. "Noct might listen to me,"

"Go with her Dragon, Paine and I can handle this," Yuna looked to the Guardian and he nodded.

"Rikku, hop on, I'll take you."

The Al Bhed heeded her fellow Guardian and climbed onto his back. Dragon charged headlong forward, forcing his way past the too-small doorway that Noct had escaped through and into whatever was beyond that. Dragon plowed through at least a dozen doors, not looking up but simply pressing onward. Rikku clutched closely to him, keeping her head down.

One more door came tumbling down and so did Dragon, having tripped on something.

Huddled on the floor was another copy of Jamie. Or Noct as the case may be, since he still had the scar over his eye Seraphim had given him. He was unarmed and made no motions towards attacking them. Dragon and Rikku stopped for a moment, forgetting Noct almost completely. Rikku walked around the copy until she could see his face, feeling a chill run up her back. She knelt down, trying to catch his attention.

"Who are you?" she asked gently.

The copy looked up at her with despair and replied, "Regret,"

Dragon padded over quietly, watching as Regret sat up, hugging his knees close to his chest with his eyes to the floor.

"Can you take us to Noct? We really don't have much time," Dragon said.

"You know, Noct isn't a bad guy," Regret said. "Dias is the one you need to watch for."

"What do you mean?" Rikku's eyebrows knitted tightly in the middle.

"It's like what Phoenix said," he nearly whispered. "Just because it comes from the darkness, doesn't mean its evil. This all my fault…I should've listened."

"Can you lead us to Noct's psyche or can't you?" Dragon was becoming agitated.

"I can…but maybe I shouldn't. I'll regret it, I know I will," he sounded so incredibly sad.

"Please," Rikku pleaded. "You have a chance to make it all right again…please help us."

Regret looked up at Rikku and hesitantly nodded his head. "O-okay, I will. I know what to do, just follow me,"

Regret stood and walked on, taking them deeper into Jamie's mind, closer to the center of Noct. Finally they reached the last door, and Regret shrugged heavily, as if walking into his own execution. They entered stoutly, entered without fear to face what lie beyond the door.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?!" Noct cried angrily, clutching a black orb glowing to his chest. "Get away from me!" It appeared that he was screaming at his doppelganger.

Regret stepped forward despite Noct's demands. Rikku and Dragon watched without blinking, not even noticing the others storming into the room and screeching to a halt.

Noct backed away from Regret, hoping to escape and finding no more doors. He stepped further and further away, finally stopped by the wall behind him. He gripped tightly at the glowing blackness he held, not daring to let go.

"They want to make it right again, they want to heal us." Regret said, holding out his hand.

"No, you don't understand! You can't let Dias get a-hold of this! Dias is the evil one, not _me_! Get back!"

"This is how it must be, Noct." Regret shook his head. "I don't want to be around anymore, and you don't want me around either. If we do this, put things back the way they were, I'll go away. Please, Noct," and he stepped forward again.

"No, Dias is lying! He doesn't want things right again! You have to believe me! No!"

Regret forced himself on Noct, allowing himself to be absorbed by the psyche. Noct twisted, growled as if in pain. He fought against his copy, losing in the end. Noct was on his knees by the end, trying to catch his breath as slivers of tears streaked down his cheeks. He held his half of the Mind Essence, the seal of Yin in his hands, offering it to Rikku. As she took it from him, he immediately began to show signs of losing to Noct. Soon he would be expelled and the psycho would return to his old self.

"Run with it, I'll hold him while I can," Regret spoke through Noct as his fellow Guardians took the seal from him.

"Do as he says, I'll stall him," Paine said, confidence in her abilities to buy them time.

"Don't be long," Yuna cautioned. Paine knew the risks, she still insisted on staying.

The others dashed away, back from whence they came and Paine waited with sword at the ready for the battle to begin.

Rikku held tight to the seal as she sat astride Dragon's back, Yuna sitting in front of her with pistols drawn. Almost instantaneously after leaving Noct, they noticed the world around them catching fire and burning down, as if nature had gone mad. Dragon ran as fast as his legs would carry him all the while trying to avoid falling gobs of fire and a man in a purple suit and top-hat screaming some nonsense about the chocolate melting.

He forced his way through closed doors and portals too small. He made his way back to the three-way intersection; he could see it just ahead. As they drew near, Dias appeared at the heart of the intersection, at the center of the three doors.

Dragon stopped, allowing Yuna and Rikku to slide off of his back.

"Ah, good to see you could make it; as you can see things are beginning to get worse."

"Tell us something we don't know," Rikku almost laughed, finding herself unable.

"You have the seal?"

Rikku nodded and showed him the glowing Yin as she stepped towards him.

"Excellent," Dias hissed, pulling his own seal, Yang, from behind his back.

"_NO_!"

Everyone stopped what they were presently endeavored in and turned. They saw Noct, limping towards them; limping not from injury, but from a persistent Paine refusing to release his leg from her arm-lock.

"Don't give it to him!" Noct pleaded. "He'll destroy us all! He doesn't want balance!"

Before Rikku could turn back, perhaps even question Dias, her hand was relieved of Yin. Dias began to laugh.

"Unfortunately he's right for a change. I don't want nor need balance. I'm satisfied with things as they are."

Noct's jaw dropped. He saw Dias steal the seal and his heart shattered. His knees buckled and hit the floor hard. "No," he whimpered.

Rikku stared hard at Dias. "What are you talking about?"

"You see, I like conflict. In fact, I like it a lot, almost obsessively. You see, light always wins, no matter how you look at it. And in spite of that, dark always comes back for a second helping. It never ends yet always ends the same. It's so delicious."

"You sick, fucking bastard!" Noct cried.

"How could this happen?" Yuna gasped, her hope wavering.

"Don't know for sure, really. I think it all started in severity when you defeated Sin, High Summoner."

"Yeah," Noct growled. "Sick-o here liked watching you fight Sin so much he was jerkin' his gerkin through the whole thing."

Everyone looked at Dias in shock.

"That's…DISGUSTING!" Yuna cringed.

"Never mind that," Dias' face reddened. "Still, the point stands, and I see little of anything you can do about it. You see, if the Alignment comes, the world will be purified and there will be no more conflict. Even Noct and I won't exist. So you see, it's not just my sickening obsession with conflict, it's my survival." And Dias laughed.

"All of this is my fault," Noct shook his head. "I just wanted to fix my mistakes. I wanted to start over, to make sure that there would never be another Sin, or Vegnagun, or Vae. Was that so wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" Rikku asked.

Noct sighed. "When the world was first created, each of the guardians gave Spirans a gift: Sera created the earth and the bodies of the humans, Phoeny gave them life and knowledge, Drake supplied the emotion, and I…I mean Chaosin, gave them…free will…choice…the capacity for good and evil. I gave Spirans darkness. But soon, darkness became synonymous with evil. It's because of me that Fiends exist. It's because of me that Sin was created and Chaosin died. I wanted to start over, destroy all Spirans and recreate them without the capacity for evil. But the other Guardians wouldn't listen. That's why I got rid of them all, so I could destroy Spira in their absence. Then, when they came back, we'd have no choice but to start over. After that, I wouldn't care if I existed or not. At least I'd have a clear conscience."

Paine watched as Noct wallowed in his regret, though that copy was nowhere in sight.

"Ah, fuck it," Noct surrendered. He fell forward onto his elbows and planted his forehead into his open hands. "It's over, it doesn't matter now."

"You big girl," Paine snorted. "You come off as Mr. Big-bad-ass, and here you are giving up already. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Want a list? It's over, there's not point now."

"Yeah there is, you can still fight Dias! You aren't crippled."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Paine shifted to stand, grabbing Noct by the collar and hoisting him roughly to his feet. She forced the Guardian to look her in the face.

"Look; no matter what evil comes to the world, there will always be light to overcome it and what not." You can tell she'd never given a talk like this before. "But there are times where the dark needs to stand up to the light and bitch-slap it upside the head and kick it in the business. Now you're going to get your sorry, whiny ass up and go do what you do best to Sponge-Bob-Tight-Pants over there."

Noct's eyes were wide. That was a talk he never thought he'd have. But hell, he felt better now. In fact, he felt great, he felt his natural-born ferocity bubbling up inside. He was feeling frisky.

With a wicked grin he pulled himself from Paine's grasp and made his way towards Dias, slowly at first. Then he suddenly broke into a dash and leaped forward, his human skin tearing away and the form of the Guardian, only one-headed, taking its place. He sprinted towards his sick counterpart, pouncing with his jaws opened wide. Dias' eyes flashed wide as Noct overtook him. In the blink of an eye Dias took a similar form and fought with Noct, dropping Yin and Yang, the seals bouncing on the floor.

"Take them through the center door!" Noct snarled to them. "Complete the seal!"

Rikku gathered up the orbs and nodded to the Guardian, wincing at the sound of flesh tearing and an angry roar. She signaled for the others to follow and entered the center door, flames on the verge of swallowing it whole. Jamie's mind was continuing to fall apart, despite their best efforts.

Inside were more flames and two more copies of Jamie there on the floor. One was flat on his back with a gaping hole through his middle, and the other was knelt beside the first.

"Thank god you're here," Concern looked relieved to see them.

"What can we do?" Rikku asked with urgency.

"Put the seals together and return them to the psyche," he gestured to the Jamie on the floor. It looked like the copy had a serious fever with sweat rolling down his face.

"How?" Rikku had a feeling she was thinking to hard. She shook her head. "Never mind."

Rikku pressed the orbs together and they melted into one another. They became one and shimmered, levitating out of Rikku's flattened palms. The Mind Essence hovered over the psyche for several short moments and then filled the empty hole where its guts were supposed to be.

Shortly after, psyche opened his eyes, the fever broken, and stood. Concern stood next to him and smiled at those that had at last made the balance.

"Thank you." Was all he said and began to glow in a shadow of light. It consumed his form whole, and then dissipated to reveal something no one expected.

There stood Chaosin, in spirit of course. Everyone looked on, awe painted on their faces in wide eyes and slacked jaws. Rikku stumbled all of sudden as Seraphim stepped out of her.

"So you weren't completely gone after all," Seraphim grinned.

"I couldn't bear to leave you alone, love. Please forgiving me for hiding from you," and his ears drooped a little.

Sera stepped up to Chaosin's side and put her hands gently to his cheeks. Their souls kissed and embraced, holding one another as reunited lovers do. Chaosin pulled away and looked down at Sera.

"The Alignment is at hand and it is time for us to leave this plane for the next."

"Can we? What of our powers? What of this world?"

"I believe all is in capable hands. As for us, yes we can. We have a place to spend eternity waiting for all of us. Soon Phoenix and Dragon will join us there. Leave your powers as I will, Sera, and come with me."

Seraphim nodded to Chaosin and turned to those standing in a stupor. Jamie could have sworn he had seen the Seraphim somewhere before. And all at once, it hit him. He knew who she was.

"Stephanie?" Rikku looked from Jamie to Seraphim.

"Yes, Jamie. It's me. You probably want a full explanation, but since time is short, I'll only tell you what you need to know."

"When the Guardians went their separate ways after our defeat at the hands of Yu Yevon, I traveled from world to world in search of the one that would replace the center head. I felt drawn to your world and soon I was born into the child, Stephanie. When I met you, I could see the cloud of destiny surrounding you. I knew you were the one.

"The Fayth agreed to bring you to Spira, so I knew I had to return here and find Phoenix, Noct and Dias, and Dragon. But in order to do so, I had to die in your world. I returned to Spira and bound myself to the one originally meant to house my spirit: Jennifer. You were not meant to come to Spira for some time, but my death threw you into a suicidal depression that threatened your life.

"The Fayth brought you to Spira early, hoping that meeting me would inspire you to live. But you met Rikku instead."

"I remember this," Jamie said. "You said that the chocobo I met on the Highroad was supposed to take me to Luca where Jennifer was, but it sensed my nature as the Cerberus and introduced me to Yuna."

"Yes," Seraphim said. "That's why Jennifer and Rikku had to die: Jennifer so my spirit would be released, and Rikku so my spirit could bind to her."

"Jennifer shouldn't have had to die," Jamie lamented.

"Don't worry," Serphim smiled. "Something tells me that you'll see Jennifer again soon enough. But for now, all is well and the Alignment will come. Your work here is finished and now you must go. All of you have done well, and thank you." She knelt and embraced Jamie one last time. And she returned her attention to Chaosin, only to disappear as if they had never been.

The Guardians gone, the focal point was now Jamie's psyche, who smiled at them much like Chaosin had.

"I'm grateful," he said simply. "Thanks for fixing me. Now get out of here, you've got places to be."

"What time is it?!" Dragon blurted suddenly.

"I don't know," Yuna said. "But let's scram anyway,"

And they left Jamison's head.

_(III)_

The clock was chiming towards midnight, six chimes to be exact. Once conscious Rikku tore her eyes open and forced herself up. She grabbed Jamie's arm and hoisted him up form the floor, smacking him on the cheek to make him wake.

"Get Eve on the throne!" Dragon shouted as he came to.

Yuna shook the daze from her head, standing unsteadily for a brief time, and gathered up the child in her arms. She made a mad dash for the throne, Eve giving a gleeful shout as if it were some sort of joyride. She let Eve down and she sat in her rightful place.

"Ready!" Yuna called back.

"Now what?" Paine yawned.

The clock had three chimes to go and then midnight would come.

"Wait for it," Jamie said. "Wait for it,"

Dragon momentarily looked down at Andrea's still, cold body anxiously. What was going to happen?

_Ten…_

Jamie and Rikku looked to each other, taking one another's hand tightly. This is what they'd been fighting for all this time. Would it be worth all the pain?

_Eleven…_

Yuna, Paine, Baralai, and Celeste all stood next to the throne. The High Summoner folded her hands at the center of her chest, praying silently. _Please let this be the end_…

_Twelve…_

The final chime of Midnight was haunting, and it seemed to ring on forever. At first, everyone only waited in silence as nothing happened. The remaining Guardians all looked at one another, not sure what to do or even what to think.

Thirty seconds passed.

There was suddenly a loud bang, and the room filled with a cloud of smoke and the smell of charcoal. Dragon's mouth dropped open and he shouted as he watched Andrea's body burst into flames and become ashes little by little. His expression was that of terror.

As quickly as it started the fire grew. It climbed higher and higher, shaping into a pillar that shot through the ceiling. Following the flame was a pillar of pure moonlight shimmering upward from around Jamie's feet. Rikku stepped away, almost feeling as if she were pulled. She watched as brilliant starlight surrounded Dragon, swallowed him whole. And the last thing she recalled was the surge of power she knew to be Seraphim, and being covered in warm, golden light.

From the deep reaches of the heavens above Spira, you could see the world as it was changed. It became a sphere of color, only becoming brighter and brighter. The cosmos was blinded, brought to its knees in reverence. A fool would think the world was headed for supernova and then be fated to a dismal black hole. On the contrary; this world would continue. It would thrive, evolve, and change…Spira would live on.

In all, the event was only several minutes. Before anyone was aware it had ended. The lights faded and the Guardians were left as they were. Now Andrea knelt naked in a pile of ashes that were once herself, now with gold and crimson streaks in her dark brown hair. She had been reborn, taking the Phoenix's path and allowing the spirit to move on and leave behind its powers to join Chaosin and Sera on the other side.

Rikku stood dazed, wobbling a little on her feet. She put away the Seraphim's wings, becoming more herself than she felt she was. It was strange not having Sera's soul around. Now she truly was the Seraphim, the paragon of purity.

Jamie shook his head hard, ridding himself of dizziness. He too had changed a little, his ears now pointed and somewhat fuzzy with black fur. Rikku practically jumped into his arms when he turned to look at her, asking her if she still loved him even after he'd forgotten about her.

Dragon had remained seeming not to have changed at all. His eyes had widened again as he looked at Andrea, but not in terror. His cheeks reddened as much as one with blue skin could and went to her side, unfurling one wing to cover her with.

"Is it over?" Yuna asked aloud.

"Yeah, it's done." Andrea said, smiling a little. "It's finished."

Authors' Notes: It's almost over. I think there might be one chapter after this, maybe two, we'll see. Anyway, hope you've enjoyed our little tale and are looking forward to the ending. Perhaps our heroes will have their first Christmas, who knows. Later!


	22. Christmas Special

**The Divine Comedy Christmas Special**

By: flaming-dingleberry and Shadoobie

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the airship,

Not a creature was sober, not even Tidus, the dipshit.

The kegs were all tapped and emptied with care,

In hopes they'd be drunk when Santa got there.

And all the through the room, flaming-dingleberry did curse,

"Fuck this shit! I can't write in verse!"

But continue he did and all through the night,

He typed up this story on his trusty typewrite…er.

He wrote a story that's been done a thousand times before,

"What the hell," he said. "It can handle one more."

No, he did not write about Santa up on the roof,

He wrote an FFX/Christmas Carol holiday spoof.

He didn't have long, so he typed without delay…tion,

And here we have our feature presentation.

Chapter Don't-give-a-damn: Merry Fucking Christmas

"Hey Andrea your wasted beyond belief and so am I and so is everyone else for that matter tell us a story." Rikku said in one breath.

"Huh? What?" Andrea was busy counting the number of ingredients in her bottle of Dack Janiel's, so she didn't hear Rikku the first time.

"Tell us a story."

"No."

"Tell us a story."

"No."

"Tell us a story."

"No."

"…Please?"

"No."

"…"

"…"

"Please?"

"Okay! Fine! You'll get a friggin story!"

"Keep it down," Paine said. "I think I'm getting a hangover."

"You know drinking during pregnancy is bad for the baby." Rikku muttered, grinning.

"How many respect points do you have left?"

"I think about 57."

"Minus 58 respect points, then."

"How many does that leave me with?"

"Five, maybe?" Jamie muttered.

"When am I gonna get a line in this story?" Yuna groaned.

"When the author gets over the fact that goody-goody Yuna is drunk," Baralai said.

"Oh, okay."

"Andrea's gonna tell a story!" Rikku said.

And surprisingly, everyone gathered around. Eve even sat in the front looking at Andrea. Andrea looked at them all and sighed. What was the one Christmas story she knew? Of course. The one she got her grouch inspiration from.

"Okay. There once was an old geezer man…"

"Is that you?" Rikku asked.

"I said 'man'."

"Is that you?"

Andrea groaned and continued. "He was really greedy and made the employees at his company work late on Christmas Eve…"

"The monster!" Rikku shouted.

"Rikku, do you want a story or not?"

RIkku shut her mouth and Andrea continued…again. "He even wanted one of them to work on Christmas Day. And yes, he is a monster, Rikku. Anyways, that night, he's visited by the ghost of his dead business partner."

"Is _that_ you?"

"…Yes, Rikku. That is me. Andrea Marley. Anyways, _I _tell the old crap-geezer that if he doesn't change his grouchy, 'Bah-Humbug' ways, he's gonna be visited by three spirits. The spirits of…hell…I don't know…Christmas Yesterday, Christmas Two Minutes From Now, and Christmas Next Week. Anyways, the first spirit shows up, and it's a little kid."

"Is that Eve?"

"Sure. Why the hell not? This is of course _my _story that _you_ keep changing. Now the little kid showed the geezer what Christmas used to be like for him: happy, cheery, full of fucking glee. The old mad learns something and the next spirit shows: jolly fat man in a robe."

"Is that me?"

"Fat _man_. With a _beard_."

"…is that me?

"No, it's…Baralai."

"I'm not fat…" Baralai whined.

"Speak for yourself, 'Honeybun'," Paine muttered.

"_Any-_fuckin-ways, the fat man shows him what's going on now, and he sees that the guy he was gonna make work on Christmas has a cripple kid and little money and they have a shitty Christmas because of him. Now, the fun starts."

"Everyone blows up?"

Andrea blinked a couple times. "Now I could understand if Rikku said that, but _Eve_?"

"Look at her parents," Jamie said.

"Whatever. Anyways, the last spirit shows up and it's all creepy and dark and evil and…"

"Is that Paine?"

"Not funny, Rikku," Paine growled. _'Damn,'_ she thought. _'They're on to me.'_

"The last spirit shows the geezer that if he keeps doing the things he's doing, you know, hating Christmas and all that, he'll die a lonely death with no one to love him. So he wakes up, changes his ways and God bless us. Every-fucking-one. The end."

And with that, everyone stood up to go to bed. They didn't want to be awake when Santa came. Andrea remained in her seat. She stared out the window into the snow, flicking the cap to her booze bottle. She hated Christmas. It sucked like a thousand vacuums in a gay bar.

"Merry Christmas, Bird Lady!" Eve shouted into Andrea's ear.

After Andrea picked herself off of the floor, and got over the tinnitus (a condition of temporary deafness when exposed to loud noise. Like a Disturbed concert. See, you learn something new every day.), she said to Eve, "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"I want to see Santa!"

"News flash, kid: Santa ain't real. He never was. Christmas is just a holiday devised by the capitalist pigs to increase the amount of spending during the holiday season."

"You don't like Christmas, do you?" Eve asked with a pout.

"What was your first clue? Yeah, I hate it. Bah-fucking-humbug."

Eve walked off with a sad look on her face. She turned back to Andrea and said, "I hope some of those spirit thingies see you tonight."

"Whatever, kid."

Andrea was so drunk she didn't want to get up, so she fell asleep in her chair. Little did she know, something was approaching. A ghostly and glowing something.

"_Andreaaaaaaaaaaa…"_

"Five more minutes, Mom…" Andrea groaned, rolling over.

"_Andreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……"_

"The alarm clock hasn't gone off yet…"

"Just wake up!"

Andrea shot awake. Not from the voice, but from the headache that it caused. She looked around and saw a little ghost looking thing in the middle of the floor. Actually, it looked like a midget in a sheet holding a flashlight.

"_Andreaaaaaaaa. You have been a bad girrrrrrrrrrrrlll."_

"And just who are you supposed to be?"

"_I am the ghost of your…inner…child…yeah, that's it. Inner chiiiiiiiiiiiilllld… You thought you had killed me, but I am back to warn yooooooooooooooouuu. If you do not change your waaaaaaaaaayyys, you will be visited by three ghostssssss."_

"…Nice try, Eve."

"_Uh…sheeeeee'ssss not…_I mean, she's not buying it, Mom."

"Damn!" Andrea heard Rikku shout in the hall right before the lights went on. "We almost had her…"

"No, I knew you were going to pull this before I fell asleep."

"Dammit!"

…………………………………………..

Anyways, later that night, when the clock struck…some time. Honestly, Rikku never sets her clock, so what time it is is anyone's guess. Whatever. Andrea woke up and saw a little boy standing there. He was dressed in rags and was looking at Andrea, covered in an ethereal glow.

"Go away, Shinra. I have no time for your inventions."

"Who's Shinra? I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. I'm here to show you what Christmas used to be like for you."

"No, you're a hallucination caused by that spiked eggnog."

"Suit yourself, but you're coming with me." The little ghost grabbed Andrea by the hand and lifted her from the chair. She started to protest, but found the little midget was stronger than her. She tried to pull away and saw her body lying in the chair, just as it had been for the past few hours.

"The ride's gonna get bumpy. We have to go back to your world to view your past."

And in a flash, Andrea stood before a very familiar house. It was where she went to her first Christmas party. She was invited by some of her friends, but didn't want to go until her Mom made her go. She peaked in the window and saw everything like she remembered it.

"This is Christmas about 8 years ago. You were so happy back then," the ghost midget said.

"I was a miserable, suicidal wreck. How's that happy?"

"Well…you were happy when _he _asked you to dance."

She looked back in the window and saw a younger version of herself in the corner. She was all alone, staring at the crowd of dancing people. Then _he_ walked up. Now that Andrea thought about it, _he_ looked a lot like Dennis. But his name was Michael. And he was the first person ever to show Andrea kindness.

"He danced with you that night," the spirit said. "Then the party ended, he went home, and you never saw each other again. But he gave you hope. He made you hold on through your 'miserable, suicidal' life."

"You're right. I guess he did." Andrea said. "But I still think this is a dream. Just a crazy fucked up dream."

"Oh, well. But my job's almost done. I'll take you back to the airship, where the next spirit will appear."

…………………………………

Andrea woke up on the airship. She lay in a cold sweat, breathing hard. Was that dream real? She convinced herself otherwise and rolled back over to go to sleep. And that was when she smelled chicken. And ham. And pie. Her eyes popped open and there sat a fat man with a beard. He sat in the midst of a great feast. A feast fit for a king.

"Ho, you're finally awake!"

"Let me guess," Andrea grumbled. "You're the Ghost of Christmas Present, right?"

"Yes. I'm here to show you what is going on right now."

He swooped her away and flew through the night sky. They flew all over Spira. On Mt. Gagazet, the Ronso had decorated the rocks with brightly colored pebbles, and now sang a prayer to the mountain. In Bevelle, you couldn't go 5 feet without seeing a Christmas tree. And the spirits of Macalania gathered in the middle to play beautiful music. The forest looked more beautiful than it ever had.

"You see, Andrea," the spirit said. "Christmas brings out the best in people. Everyone is gathered together to celebrate this holiday."

"So what? What's so special?"

"Let me show you something else."

They returned to the airship and flew to the window of Eve's room. They looked in and saw the little girl crying.

"Why –sniff- does –sniff- Andrea –sniff- h-hate Christmas?" she sobbed.

"Because it only reminds me of how shitty I've got it," is what Andrea said. But Jamie, who was in the room with Eve said, "No clue. She's just like that, I guess."

"But she said there's no Santa!"

"There's a Santa. I know that for a fact. There's a Santa out there somewhere."

"Why the hell is Black encouraging her? There's no Santa." Andrea growled.

"I couldn't agree more," the spirit said.

"Huh?"

"I agree that there's no fat jolly man in a red suit with flying reindeer and the like. But the spirit of Santa lives within us all. The spirit of giving without expecting reward. The spirit of kindness and generosity. You will notice that no one, not even the Half-fiends, are out fighting tonight. That is the spirit of Santa, of Christmas. Of peace on Spira and good will toward men."

"Never thought of it that way," Andrea said. "I should drink more often. These dreams are kinda fun!"

"These are not dreams!" the spirit shouted. "We spirits are trying to show you what Christmas is really about! Now, after I take my leave, you will be visited by the final spirit. And that will not be a pretty sight."

"Sure, yeah, whatever. Can I go back now?"

The spirit sighed, and said, "Sure. Why not? I've done all I can."

………………………..

And Andrea awoke once more in the chair. She glanced around and saw no sight of the spirits. She didn't smell food or anything. But she did feel a chill in her bones. She glanced up and saw a dark cloaked figure floating before her.

"Let me guess: the Ghost of Christmas Future?"

"_I prefer Christmas Yet to Come, but yes, that I am,"_ the spirit spoke in a ghastly voice.

"You're here to show me what hasn't happened but will happen if I don't realize the error of my ways?"

"_It's what I do."_

"Let's get this over with."

They flew into a strange dark mist, which emptied out onto the shores of Luca. The city stood in ruins. The blitzdome and all other structures lay in rubble. There were a few people out on the streets, trying to rebuild, but it looked as though they were making no progress.

"What's going on? Who did this?" Andrea asked.

But the spirit remained silent. They then saw a young woman with messy blond hair. She wore dark shorts and a short shirt, so you could plainly se the scars up and down her arms and legs. She walked through a back alley with a younger man with dark hair. They both looked vaguely familiar.

"It's been two years, Lani," the dark man said. "Two years since that wretched beast was killed." Wait a minute. Lani? _Yuna's_ Lani?

"It has, Gabriel. It has. It's also been two years since my parents were killed. And yours as well."

Now Andrea recognized the man. The dark hair, red eyes, perfect posture. Is this Baralai and Paine's kid?

"Where's Eve?" Gabriel asked.

"Where she was last year at this time. At the base of Gagazet."

"Where it all happened…"

"At least now, everything is better. Spira is safe from that monster. And we're safe to be together." Lani smiled, grabbed Gabriel by the arm and kissed him. He kissed back and they stood in the middle of the alley, liplocked.

"Yuna and Paine's children get together?" Andrea said. "Didn't see that coming."

"_Now time to see your future,"_ the spirit wailed.

They were instantly transported to Gagazet, where they found a young girl standing at the base. She had long, dark hair, some covering her left eye. Her clothes were dark leather, and she stood there in the rain, crying. At least it looked like crying.

"Is this my future? Is that _my_ child."

"_Hell no. That's Eve. Your future is behind you."_

Andrea turned and saw something that she swore stopped her heart.

It was her. The Phoenix…no…the _Black_ Phoenix, pinned to the side of Gagazet several feet up. It had Tetsusaiga rammed through one wing, Masamune rammed through the other, and a sword she didn't recognize running through the chest. Right through its heart. _Her_ heart.

"That's…that's my future?"

"_Yes. You finally lose your mind after ages of being separated from Dennis. You kill Jamie, Rikku, Yuna, everyone. Even the Dragon. And when that happens…well, I can't really tell you. But you can see the result. Eve finds the sword of the Seraphim, the one going through your chest, and fights you right here. She pins you to the side of Gagazet with all three of those swords, but it doesn't kill you. You're frozen there, for all of eternity, doomed to forever dwell in your obliterated mind."_

"Is this really what happens?"

"_Yes. Well, at least until some megalomaniac decides that he's gonna try to harness your power, sets you free, and you go on another rampage, and then Square-Enix makes the long awaited Final Fantasy X-43: Revenge of Moltar._

"What?"

"_Never mind… Have you learned your lesson?"_

"No."

"_That's what I…say what?"_

"What does any of this have to do with Christmas?"

"_You kill the Dragon on Christmas and find out the thing that I'm not supposed to tell you and you lose what little of your mind you never had to begin with and end up a pretty dartboard on the side of a mountain."_

"…I'm…ready to go back, now."

"_Good."_

……………………

Andrea woke up and stared out the window. It was morning. And snow covered the ground. She sprang up, which wasn't such a good idea considering she still had a slight hangover. She ignored it and ran outside. The sky was overcast and a light flurry of snow settled all around.

"What's today?" she asked to no one in particular. She was met with an immense wad of snow to the face.

"Snowball!" Tidus shouted.

"I'm gonna kill you, you dipshit!" Andrea shouted. But she didn't start pummeling the blitz star. She scooped up some snow and threw it right at him. It struck him in the head and knocked him face first in a snow drift. Another snowball landed on the back of her head. She turned and saw Dragon with a load of snowballs in his arms and one wrapped up in his tail.

"It's Christmas, Andrea. Don't you know that?"

Andrea's eyes widened. "It only took one night." She put a hand to her forehead. "Charles Dickens is probably rolling over in his grave right now." A snowball slammed into her face. Dragon started laughing until Andrea started her own assault. Everyone walked out of Rikku's airship and watched in amazement. They couldn't believe that Andrea was actually having a good time outside of killing people.

"Come on in, Andrea!" Rikku shouted. "It's time to open presents!"

Andrea and Dragon stopped throwing snowballs at each other and walked inside the airship. Everyone got exactly what they wanted: Jamie got a sword sharpner, Rikku got some new tools, Paine got Baralai a beautiful red scarf, Baralai got Paine a black coat, lined with Couerl fur. Dragon got Eve a saddle so she could ride him, and Eve also got some candy and a wooden sword.

Dragon handed a package to Andrea. "Merry Christmas, Andrea," he said. It looked like a bottle lay underneath the wrapping.

"Oh, I wonder what this could be," Andrea said sarcastically. She unwrapped it and the package unfolded into a book. "Oh," Andrea said, surprised. It was entitled '100 Deadliest Karate Moves'. "Thanks, Dragon," Andrea said. She cracked the book open. "Tell you the truth, I've probably invented half of these, and used the other half.

Jamie looked over her shoulder as she flipped through the pages. At every page turn, he cringed and grimaced and sometimes put a hand on his solar plexus…or shoulder…or lower back.

Rikku called every one into the galley of her ship and everyone sat down to dinner. After everyone finished, they sat around the airship enjoying their presents. Eve walked up to Andrea, excited.

"You were wrong, Bird Lady," Eve said with a big smile on her face. "Santa is real."

"How do you figure, squirt?"

"He gave me this letter _and _gave me this," Eve held up a large bag of candy. "The letter's for you. My candy!" Eve left the letter with Andrea and ran off, craming jelly beans and Gummi Bears into her mouth. Andrea heard sleigh bells and looked out the window. She saw a man in red riding in a sleigh drawn by Bahamut.

"Merry Christmas," he shouted.

Andrea smiled and opened the letter.

_We couldn't believe that you told Eve Santa didn't exist, so we decided to make one just for her. We hope our visit to you last night enlightened you a little bit. We wish you a Merry Christmas._

_Signed:_

_Past, Present, and Yet to Come (aka The Fayth)_

_PS- As our Christmas present to you, we'd like you to know that Dennis is alive and well._

Andrea read the last line over and over. Dennis was alive? That was all she needed to make her Christmas.

It was then that the author was overcome with a terrible bought of laziness. The story fast forwards to the entire cast of Divine Comedy together in one room. Flaming-Dingleberry and Shadoobie stand in the middle, FDB's arm around Shadoobie.

"God bless us, everyone," FDB said. He then pointed to Tidus. "Except you. You're a dumbass."

Shadoobie looked over FDB's shoulder as he finished typing the Christmas Special.

"You're going to hell. You know that, right?"

"Maybe," FDB said, "but at least I'm having fun. And this was half your idea, too. So you're coming with me."

"I think Andrea's right. Charles Dickens is rolling over in his grave right now. Hironobu Sakaguchi, too."

"The creator of Final Fantasy?" FDB asked. "Did he die?"

"I don't know," Shadoobie said. "But if he's still alive, he probably died just so he could roll over in his grave."

"Whatever." Just then, an alarm went off. "What is that?" FDB asked. "Did Mike break the Hubble again?"

"Not quite," Shadoobie said. "I put the turkey on. It should be ready for dinner."

FBD paused to look at his work. "You think the Ghosts of Christmas are gonna haunt us tonight?"

"No, of course not." Shadoobie and FDB looked at each other. "I'll get the shotgun and the bear traps."

"I'll get the proton packs."

FDB: It should be known that this story has no correlation to the true Divine Comedy universe. This is merely a spoof created by me. Now get the hell outta here and have a Merry Christmas!


	23. There, Back Again, and ETC

**The Divine Comedy**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**There, Back Again, and What Happened After**

Time passed no different than it had for many millennia before, and soon two weeks were behind the Guardians and their friends. Those fourteen days had been quite a handful for everyone.

First order of business was to establish Eve's legitimacy to the throne of Spira, which was actually quite simple. Remarkable how well people listen to a five-year-old when she's got four demi-gods to back her up, isn't it? The young ruler (after a brief fit of terror about possibly having to resort to being only 12-inches tall) appointed Celeste, Dragon, Andrea, and Rikku to her council, while she appointed Jamie as -brace yourself- her "Grand Brassier". Very few laughed at this, and of course Eve didn't see what was so funny.

As one of her first acts as Queen, Eve let her grandpa Cid and Artemis off with a light sentence. Just five years probation, terms being that Artemis had her powers bound and Cid has his pilot's permit revoked for the duration. Not to mention that they were to remain in Bevelle as well, unless given permission to leave. There were more details, but I think you all get the idea.

Secondly, Eve began collection funds to finance the Balding Chocobos Foundation; a sanctuary where balding and other ill birds can be cared for and eventually cured. It created many jobs and unemployment in Bevelle dropped considerably. Also the Chocobo population was at an all time high within the next year. Yay birdies!

Aside from those key points, anything else of merit was rather trivial. Eve maintained the right of religious freedom and so on so forth. With the help of her council, Eve made a fine monarch. Ah yes, I almost forgot. The Queen also gathered the finest scholars in the land. She would use them to compile a book of all the words and phrases she used regularly so that people would stop correcting her all the time. Thanks to Andrea, if you want to call it thanks, the book would be titled "My Word is Law". Catchy, isn't it?

I believe I've mentioned the highlights of what happened during those two weeks, so I'll move along. Eve allowed Baralai to continue living in his usual place in Bevelle with Paine, but no longer as Praetor of New Yevon. He gave the position to someone else, relinquishing his talents to the new queen. She put him in charge of the palace library, which he took to quickly and seemed to enjoy much more than his previous office.

Yuna at last returned to Besaid and to her family. Nothing seemed to have changed since her absence; however she eventually forced herself to notice her young daughter's fascination with Tidus' blitzball. She credited it to a baby's natural curiosity. She doubted it would become anything substantial. Yuna laughed to herself from time to time; at least blitzball wouldn't be her first word. The other islanders held a great feast to celebrate her return, and Tidus had his own surprise planned to receive his wife back home. Chances are that you know what I mean.

The others stayed comfortably in Bevelle. Jamie and Rikku rarely strayed far from Eve, Jamison especially since he was the Grand Brassiere and all. He tried telling her that it was said "vizier", but she simply handed him a hard copy of her book and corrected him. He didn't mind it, thinking it actually quite funny how she confused words the way she did. Something told him that she would grow out of it eventually. Rikku could commonly be found at Jamie's side, but if not, she was at least within earshot of him at all times. I don't know why, but that sounds like a stalker to me…but that's just me.

Dragon would spend much if not all of his time in the library helping Baralai. It's still a mystery as to how he managed to fit through the door, as big as he was, but he did. Dragon was able to reach the higher shelves of books that Baralai couldn't access. Together they would count, catalogue, and alphabetize every volume that Bevelle had to offer.

Andrea had her hands full most of the time training the queen's new militia. When she wasn't working with the soldiers, she was patrolling the city, keeping an eye out for trouble until the wee hours of morning. She would sleep a while and then be up to repeat the process again. Despite what many thought, she hadn't changed much since the Alignment and all it had brought to being. She still seemed like her old self, the person her friends knew and loved. I use the latter term lightly. However, she had seemed noticeably preoccupied lately; it was anyone's guess as to why. Perhaps it was news of Rikku and Jamie wanting to have a "real wedding". Perhaps it rubbed her the wrong way. Dragon had taken the chance to ask her what was wrong; she blamed it on the thought of having Christmas. She couldn't think of a gift for anyone.

"I have an idea…but I just can't make up my mind."

"I'm sure you'll come up with something." Dragon grinned at her. "So what do you think about this wedding party?"

Andrea shook her head and shrugged. "Nothing much, I suppose. I was thinking about offering to do the music, kind of my way of saying sorry for all the trouble I started. All I know for sure is that it'll be after our little holiday get-together." And she shrugged again.

"Then what?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"I'm just curious."

"Well," she thought a moment. "I might stay and teach a while longer. After that, once I've got a few competent students I can leave with the rest, I was thinking about going out into the Outer Islands and settling there. I don't really have a home anywhere, so I thought I'd make my own, make a fresh start, you know?"

Dragon nodded, his expression changing a little. "Why such isolation?"

"It's probably best," she laughed a little. "It would just be safer for everybody I think."

"But I like having you around. I enjoy your company."

"I do too," she said. "And I understand why, now that I think about it."

"Raping the mystery again?"

"Call it a reflex. But I've realized that Emotion and Knowledge are linked. You see, knowledge dictates how we feel about certain things, but emotion controls what and how we learn; amazing, isn't it?"

"I suppose so, but in all honesty…I like it when you're around."

"Thanks, I guess. At least someone still does." And she patted the lizard on the shoulder before walking away.

According to Jamie's watch, Christmas Eve was the following day, and everyone was suddenly excited. It was very short notice, but plans were still discussed earnestly. Surely Bevelle could stand to be without its Council and Queen for the next twenty-four hours, right? Everyone piled into the Pickle with food and drink a-plenty and headed out to Besaid to make the party complete with the High Summoner and her family. However, Celeste stayed behind; saying at least one of them had to make sure nothing blew up.

It wasn't going to be a white Christmas, but no one other than Andrea and Jamie were accustomed to snow at this time of year. Perhaps Gagezet would have been a better location? Nah, _too _damn frosty. Still, snow and gifts weren't what this was about; it was about being together simply to be with one another. It was nice to be in the same room for no reason. No villains to be fighting, no shadow of evil looming over head, and no needless escapades to all corners of the planet.

Everyone had settled into Yuna's hut for the mild mannered festivities. The food and drink was arranged almost systematically on the floor. Almost everyone noticed Andrea eyeing the numerous bottles of local and imported spirits, but they also noticed her noble resistance to taking part of them. She would literally tear her eyes away from the temptation. Yuna smiled, even if her Guardian friend wouldn't see it.

They all settled in a circle and talked for most of the day. Andrea had found a comfy nest of sorts in a pile of blankets and softly played a few familiar Christmas tunes on her guitar which she had brought along. Well, if you think about it, her home was literally across from Yuna's so it wasn't terribly out of the way. She forced out of her head how empty her hut had felt when she went into it.

The day dwelled lazily into evening but the lot of them stayed wide awake. The hut erupted with wild laughter when someone told a uniquely funny joke, but hiccupped through most of it which only added to the hilarity. Rikku saw Andrea with a huge smile and couldn't help but look at her funny.

"So," she slurred a little to her fellow Guardian. "You've given up drinking, quit smoking, kicked the pills, _and_ you no longer want to destroy the world _or_ kill my husband…and you're smiling?!"

Andrea's face flattened and she looked at the Al Bhed. "Well…I _was_," and she laughed again, mostly for the sake of keeping the moment light and alive.

"Aw, c'mon, Andrea," Yuna's cheeks were bright red and you could easily tell she was more than tipsy. "You should smi-_hic_-hile-smile more often. If you don't, your face'll get schtuck."

"Ah clam it, you seminefrious, tubloidial buttnoid!" Andrea shot back, laughing again.

"Well you smell funny!"

Jamison roared with laughter, throwing himself backwards in such a way that he fell clear over Yuna's bed and onto the other side of it, tangled up in an afghan, nearly choking on it as he gasped for precious air. By the time he emerged, the whole room was cackling, and his face was red and tears were streaming down his cheeks. He couldn't believe Andrea had called the High Summoner-of all people- a buttnoid!

"Hey, Bird Lady," Eve chirped suddenly. "Tell us a story!"

Andrea's eyes widened and she looked a little confused.

"Please?" Eve pleaded innocently.

"Yeah, Andrea, tell us a story," Jamie was only making this worse, and Andrea made him aware of through a horrid glare.

"Um…okay," and she suddenly grinned. "This is story about a kid named Fred," and she played a chord on her guitar. "Let's just say he was…special."

"No, not that!" Jamie snapped suddenly.

"Why the hell not?"

"It's a bad influence for Eve!"

"How do you figure? Would you rather I tell the story about Marijuanaville?"

"Dammit, Andrea, don't be an ass."

"Yeah, you're right; I wouldn't want to take your job."

"Enough you two!" Rikku interjected. "C'mon, Andrea, I'm sure there's a story you know that _all of us_ can enjoy."

"Um…not really."

"Why don't you tell us how you met Dennis?"

Everything kind of froze at that point, and Rikku began to second guess herself. However, when Andrea titled her head back a smiled a little, she relaxed. Maybe she hadn't screwed up too bad.

"That's a funny story, actually. I remember I was out at Lake Macalania; I'd just gotten back from the Fayth chamber and needed some rest. I slept three days straight," She laughed aloud, but to herself. "Then I started having this less-than-appropriate dream about a guy I used to know back in my world. When I woke up I had my arms around Dennis and was kissing him silly. I didn't have clue and threw him damn near across the room."

"Sounds like something you would do," Paine smiled, trying to stifle a small burp.

"Hey, I've got an idea." Tidus said. "Let's take turns telling one another our deepest, if not most embarrassing secrets."

Yuna looked at her husband who was lying on his stomach on the bed beside her. "You sure?"

"Of course! It'll be fun!"

"Then you go first."

"Okay, um…" he thought deeply for a moment. "Well, last week I went to change Lani's diaper and I noticed after a few minutes she wasn't making any noise, and then I realized it was a blitzball."

"I don't know you," Yuna shook her head.

"Sure you do, honey! Do I have to show you the wedding pictures again? And speaking of wedding pictures, Yuna's most embarrassing moment was on our wedding night."

"What do you mean?"

"You remember how I walked around with a bloody nose for a couple weeks after we were married? Well, apparently Yuna kicks _really_ hard when you kiss her on the..."

Before he could finish Yuna socked him as hard as she could in the side of the head, his body falling limply from the bed. "You're turn, Jamie."

"My most embarrassing secret…I was body surfing at a Rob Zombie concert once. There were about a thousand people or so there,"

"What's so bad about that?"

"I was naked,"

Rikku's eyes got really big and she looked at him without blinking.

"Your turn, honey," he said with a shit eating grin. He was trying to change the subject as quickly as possible so she wouldn't get mad at him. It worked.

"I'd have to say my most embarrassing moment was when I had a marble in my mouth for three weeks thinking it was candy."

Andrea laughed very hard at that one, almost throwing up. True, she was far from drunk, but that was too funny.

"I wanna turn!" Eve cheered. "When I grow up, I wanna be a Chlamydian!"

"You wanna _what_?!" Jamie and Andrea said it at the exact same second.

"You know, a Chlamydian; someone who makes with the funny-funny?"

"Oh, a _Comedian_!"

"That's what I said!"

Andrea shook he head as she laughed. "Okay, okay; it's your turn Paine."

"What about you?"

"I'll tell mine later. Go,"

"Fine…my real name isn't Paine. My real name is…Liberty," and she cringed hard. "And I used to be blonde."

"What the hell happened?" there was a unanimous gasp.

"When I was young, I was a," she cringed again. "I used to be a ballerina…pink tutu and everything. I screwed up big time at a recital and it changed my life forever."

"I'll say," Baralai had to whisper, knowing he'd get smacked if she heard.

Paine could only shake her head as it hung in absolute shame. "Your turn," and she looked at her husband. Everyone else shifted their gaze to him as well.

"Well, there was this one time where I got drunk at a Karaoke bar and by the time I woke up the next morning, everyone was referring to me as the Dancing Queen."

"Now it's your turn, sunshine," Jamison chided with a smile.

"Don't ever call me sunshine, or you'll never see it again." And she thought a moment. "It would have to be the time I was board breaking with my Sensei. I followed through too much and broke his nose. He thought it was funny, but I was considering ritualistic suicide."

"That's it? Damn, I thought it was something earth shattering like Paine's. You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." She nodded. "Sorry to disappoint you. What about you, Dragon? You have anything you want to share?"

Dragon snapped to attention and looked around almost nervously. "Um, no, not really."

"Fibber," Eve giggled.

Dragon shrugged, his ears drooping. The child was right. "Okay, okay…there was this time where I woke up and found I couldn't see. Of course I thought the worst, but it didn't make sense considering the fact that I had never done that before…then I realized Cerberus had just taped my eyes shut…again."

"What are you talking about?" Rikku asked,

Andrea sighed. "Think about it, Rikku." She waved a hand at the Al Bhed. "On second thought, don't. You'll smoke up the tent."

"Hey! Not funny…"

"What about Yuna?" Dragon asked. "Except for that…disturbing image that Tidus gave us, she hasn't gone yet."

"Naw," Andrea groaned. "Yuna's perfect. There's nothing she could do to top the Princess of Chocobo Lake, over here," pointing to Paine.

"You're right," Jamie said. "Yuna's too pure and innocent and…"

"Alright I admit it!" Yuna shouted. "I posed nude for a Bevelle dating magazine when I was 15!"

The collective gasp nearly imploded the tent. Everyone stared at the High Summoner and tried to envision her posing in front of a camera wearing naught but her Birthday Suit. They found it impossible.

"Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnd?" Rikku asked, not satisfied.

"It was a Ronso photographer."

"Oh."

Suddenly Paine yawned and then everyone happened to notice Tidus snoring. It must've been later than they all thought, and fatigue became abruptly contagious.

"I guess it's time for bed," Andrea sighed. "Still, I had a good time with all of you."

"See what you can do without being smashed?" Jamie joked. Andrea only smiled a fake smile and shook her head.

"I'll see you all in the morning I suppose," she said, picking up her guitar and ducking under Dragon's neck as she left. "G'night,"

Eventually everyone left the High Summoner to rest. Jamie, Rikku, Paine, Baralai, and Eve all went back to the Pickle for the night. Andrea wouldn't sleep in her own bed, which she'd been away from for weeks. Instead she left her guitar on the bed and went for walk. She dwelled at the small monument at the top of the hill for a while, looking down on the quiet village before moving on and ending her stroll at the beach. She looked towards the Pickle in the shallows, smiling and shaking her head. With her hands in her pockets she walked out to the end of the dock and sat down. Andrea felt she had a lot to think about, to consider, and this would be the best place to just sit.

There's nothing left for me here…or anywhere, she thought somberly. True, there were many places she was needed, but none of them felt like home or much less where she wanted to be. She pondered hard on this for many an hour and finally made a decision. Well, at least was on the sure track to making one.

With a shrug Andrea folded her hands behind her head and lay back on the rough, weathered planks of the pier. She looked up into the stars, perhaps searching them for something. Her gaze was lost in them and her mind wandered. She thought back on the last few months, all the damage she'd done, the trouble she'd caused, and the lives she had ruined. She had killed a man, and it weighed on her conscience still; not to mention she was responsible for the deaths of Rikku's brother and Buddy…God knows who else. Her friends may have forgiven her, but how could she ever manage to forgive herself?

She sat up again and hugged her knees against her chest, now looking out over the bay. Andrea further entertained the idea of finding an island out there somewhere and just staying there. True, running off never solved anything, but technically that wasn't what she was doing. She was simply relocating in hopes of starting over and finding something better. She shook her head. What a lame ass excuse that was. Yeah, she was running away. She was being a coward. Perhaps she'd always been one.

"Can't sleep?"

"No, not really; I haven't tried yet."

Dragon plopped down beside her, his head at least four feet higher than hers.

"Want to talk?"

"I don't have anything to talk about." She shook her head. "Just thinking,"

"Oh," was the sound he made in reply. The following silence between them was thick and heavy. "So," he wanted to keep a conversation going. "That was your most embarrassing moment?"

Andrea laughed lightly. "Yeah, to say the least; I can't help the fact that I'm very self-conscious." She turned her head towards him and something near the ground suddenly caught her attention. "A gold chain; where'd you get it?"

"Oh, um," he picked up his paw and looked at it almost nervously. "I've had it…as long as I can remember. Can't recall where I'm afraid." Dragon felt vile inside for having to lie. Despite how much he wanted to tell the truth, now still wasn't the right time. But soon, surely.

"Oh yeah? Guess its just coincidence; it reminded me of something Dennis wore. I've been thinking more and more about him lately."

"Yeah?"

Andrea only shook her head and went still for a moment after. "I miss him."

"I can understand. Emotions are universal, just as knowledge. The only real difference between them is their magnitude."

Andrea nodded, clearing her throat quietly.

"So what have you been thinking about?" Dragon asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Nothing much." She replied casually. "Just trying to make up my mind."

"Really? What about?"

"Nothing important, just some personal issues I need to get sorted out. After that, who knows, right?"

"Do you suppose you'll remarry?"

Andrea laughed in an emotionless manner. "I seriously doubt it. No one will ever come within a fraction of what Dennis was. And despite that, I don't think I'll feel like that ever again, much less in any degree close to what I felt for him."

"You shouldn't give up on yourself so quickly. When you love, you love hard."

"I know that, but it's getting me to the love part that's difficult. And besides, what would you know?"

"I'm aware of your emotions just as you are." He replied matter-of-factly.

"That's right," she shrugged. "I nearly forgot. So what are you doing up? Don't you sleep?"

"I didn't feel the need to. Like you I felt the need to linger a while."

Andrea nodded but didn't speak for a long while. After a time her head lifted to look up and him, catching his attention.

"Before I forget, thanks,"

"For what?"

"For keeping everyone from seeing me in my birthday suit back after the Alignment. If you hadn't been there, that would've ended up being my most embarrassing moment." She laughed a little, turning her head back to look at the water again.

"Oh," he blushed through a smirk. "Don't mention it. It was nothing."

"You know, you remind me a lot of Dennis. He's was modest too." And she shrugged, standing up and stretching. "I guess I'm gonna go find a shady spot and settle in for the night."

"W-well why not stay here? The wind is warm and the tide is quiet, just stay here."

Andrea looked at her fellow Guardian in an awkward way, not exactly sure what he meant by that. Surely he wasn't trying to get in her pants…there wasn't a chance in Hell he'd ever fit! Still, she couldn't help but mentally question what he was getting at.

"Why don't you just tell me you want me to stay, you're bad at trying to cover your ass."

His ears drooped and he smiled sheepishly. She'd hit the nail on the head, but he wasn't about to openly admit it. Instead he lowered his head in defeat and offered her a spot between his paws. He was slightly surprised when she leaned back against his chest, but still welcomed it regardless.

"You know, Dennis and I had wanted to do this,"

"What, snuggle? If he didn't do that with you from the start you should've pinched him."

"No, no," she laughed. "I mean, just sit under the stars…make love under the moon," she paused. "Hell, no I can't even stand the sight of it."

"Jamison being around doesn't help, does it?"

"Not in the least. I guess I'm still mad about it, but I don't see the need to kill him anymore. It wouldn't change anything if you get right down to it."

Dragon nodded, making a purring sound in his chest. The silence that followed after was heavy. After a time Dragon relented and let his head drop, resting it on the wooden planks of the pier. With a shrug he looked up at Andrea, whose attention was drawn elsewhere.

"Andrea?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask a favor of you?"

"I suppose, but I can't guarantee I'll do it,"

"Well," he paused with a slight grin. "I was wondering if, as long as you're okay with it, you would dream with me?"

Andrea looked down at him with an eyebrow cocked up. "Say what now?"

"Phoenix and I used to do it back before Sin," he stuttered a little at the beginning of his reply, almost like he'd just come up with a lickety-split lie. "I was hoping you'd be willing to try it."

"What is it, like meditation?"

"In a way. Still, would you? I won't force you of course,"

Andrea's face shifted expressions for a moment, and her brow tightened at the middle a bit. "I'm not Phoenix, you know that? I just have her powers; that doesn't make me her."

"I understand."

She nodded. "I guess it wouldn't kill me then. Sure, why not? So how does it work?"

"Like your example, it's similar to meditation, so give it a try. I'll find you and lend you a hand."

"If you say so."

They met in dream, still on the beach of the island. Andrea looked down on her motionless body, realizing she was in a sort of ethereal state. Astral projection if you will. Andrea looked at herself, her dream self, and found herself clad in armor. The finely woven armor of a samurai, but there were no swords at her side. She couldn't understand her sudden change in appearance.

"We're in our truest form when we dream." She heard Dragon at her shoulder, but didn't turn to acknowledge his presence. She briefly thought to what he had just said, not sure that she wanted to see his truest form.

"Why do I look like this?" She asked.

"It's reflecting your purest self. You're a warrior through and through, Andrea. You're a protector."

"More like a murderer. Still, I suppose you have a point." And she turned around, her feet suddenly feeling heavy, and she saw him. Her expression tightened into a grimace, a very serious look. "That's a cold joke, you know that?"

"Who's laughing?" Dragon folded his hands behind his back. He was wearing Dennis' skin, had his face, and Andrea was far from amused.

"Is this the reason you brought me here, to mock me? It's hard enough for me to manage as it is, and now you have to go and pull this? What is wrong with you?!"

"I'm not trying to hurt you! Can't you realize what my appearing this way means?"

"No, I can't! All I've realized is that I can't trust you! You're nothing but a gutless snake with wings!"

"What could I possibly gain from lying to you?"

"You tell me!"

Dragon stepped forward, standing inches from on top of her toes, and looked her square in the eyes. "Tell me I'm lying! You can sense the truth in people, now tell me!"

Andrea didn't blink and her fists clenched tightly. She only shook her head. "I've had enough of this. Leave me alone." And she turned away, aiming to return to her own body and rest while it was still dark.

"Please, Andrea..."

"Fuck off! I couldn't call his soul back, and I'll be damned if you can do what I obviously couldn't-me, the Guardian of life and death!!"

"You can't revive what never died,"

"How dare you!" she snapped back, turning on her heel to almost face him. "Are you calling me a liar? I was there! He died _in my arms_ for god's sake! That's it, I've had enough," she put up a swift hand of dismissal and turned away. She went back to her body, leaving Dragon alone in his dream.

Andrea woke to find herself alone, lying on her back. With little more than a cough to clear her throat, she stood and walked up the beach heading for the village. She wondered where Dragon had gone for only a moment, not caring once that moment had ended. Andrea jogged back into the village, instinctively searching for a familiar face when she'd arrived. She had just passed her own hut when seemingly out of nowhere Rikku leaped out and into Andrea's arms. Her reflexes were just quick enough to catch her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Andrea asked, a smirk teasing the side of her mouth.

"Nothing…what are _you_ doing?"

"You got some last night, didn't you?" it was the only explanation that she could come up with for Rikku's inherent joy.

"Not to brag but…well, yeah, I'm bragging."

"Well, I don't want the details, thanks," and dropped Rikku right there, laughing a little when she whined about her butt.

"You didn't have to drop me! Jeeze!"

"You'll live, Rikku. Hey, where is everyone?"

"Most of them are still asleep, or throwing up from the hang-over. In fact that peculiar sound in the bushes over there,"

"You mean the one that sounds like someone getting their testicles ripped out through their esophagus?"

"Um…yeah, that…is Yuna saying good morning, Mr. Sun."

"I see. What about her mentally challenged significant other?"

"He's around I'm sure. So what's up with you? You seem pissed,"

"I can't hide that anymore, can I?"

"Nope,"

"Well, it's nothing. By the way, when did you and Black want to have your thing?"

"What…oh that thing. Well, whenever was convenient I guess. It's not that we want this huge party, but technically Jamie aren't married by law."

"You eloped then?"

"Yeah."

"You just want it official then? I understand, that's cool. Still, we'll have a reception for you guys, just don't count on me to contribute much."

"I wasn't going to. I understand how you feel. I'm surprised you're as cool about it as you are. Is that what's bothering you?"

"Actually no, but if we stay on this subject too long it's going to. Well, anyway, if you run by the others, tell them to meet me in the temple, if you would."

"Um…okay, may I ask why?"

"It's Christmas, isn't it? I still have a gift to give."

She didn't have to wait long, and with the exception of Dragon, they all gathered in Besaid Temple. Andrea was sitting on the steps leading to the chamber of the Fayth, and then stood when she saw them come in.

"Oh good, you brought Lani with you," and Andrea smiled.

"What's this about?" Yuna asked.

"Nothing much, just a gift for you guys. Well, you mortal guys anyway."

Everyone seemed a little confused by what she said, not certain of what she meant. Andrea gestured for them to come forward and stand beside one another, and then she requested they held out their hands.

"C'mon, Eve, you too," and the young girl put her hand in with the others.

Andrea smiled and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. The lot of them watched with growing curiosity. What on earth was she planning? They watched her palms beginning to glow a deep red color, like a sunset. A subtle warm filled the entire chamber, and then there was a dim shimmer of gold light. When the moment was over, Andrea stepped back with a small smile.

In turn, each of them looked themselves over, finally finding a new mark on their right forearms that hadn't been there before. It was a red mark shaped like a feather. Lani and Eve had similar marks as well.

"What are these?" Paine asked, sounding almost suspicious.

"It's my gift to you," Andrea replied. "And my apology. This is for all that time I took from you with my stupidity."

"What are they for?"

"I just gave that time back to you. Now you'll age slower and live longer, healthier lives. I just gave you that which Yu Yevon wanted so badly that he was willing to destroy everything to get it."

Simultaneously their eyes widened. "Are you serious?" Yuna gasped.

"I can't say if you'll live forever, but you'll live a hair longer than most. However I can tell you that you can still be killed. Don't take this the wrong way, but I have my reasons for not giving you that much power. Still, Merry Christmas."

"So does this mean more blitzball?!" Tidus sounded so happy he could hardly contain himself.

"Yes, Tidus, more blitzball," Andrea shrugged, and everyone shared a little laugh.

"Biss-bah," came out of Lani's mouth all of a sudden.

Yuna looked at her baby, almost with dread. 'What?"

"Biss-bah,"

Tidus suddenly gushed. He knew what she was trying to say. "Blitzball! My daughter just said her first word! C'mon, Lani, let's leave mommy alone for while. Daddy's gonna teach you how to pass," and he scooped the child up in his arms and almost ran out of the temple. "Thanks Andrea!"

Yuna suddenly started crying. "I can't believe it! I tried so hard! Anything but blitzball!"

"Al Bhed pool boy…" came this wistful, almost angelic voice.

"What?"

"Al Bhed pool-_OW_!"

"Cut it out, Rikku," Andrea had punched her fellow Guardian in the arm. It wasn't nice to tempt people into adultery over something as trivial as sports.

"Hey, don't hit my wife!" Jamison punched Andrea in return.

"She isn't your wife yet, mutt, butt out!" Andrea resisted the urge to hit him, feeling the need to be the bigger person.

"Well, we can fix that can we? I mean, we're already in the temple," Rikku looked to Yuna who was drying her eyes. "Yunie?"

"Huh? Oh, you want to do it now? Well, that's fine with me if no one has any objections."

"I don't object, but I hope no one will be offended if I step outside." Andrea said, putting up a dismissive hand and walking out.

"What's wrong with Bird Lady?"

"She doesn't like weddings, that's all." Jamie put his hand on Eve's shoulder.

The ceremony was relatively quick, considering it was such a small scale, but the point was that it would be official now. They would be husband and wife by law. And this time they had their closest friends to see it. They came out of the temple sharing the same incredible smile. Andrea was sitting out on the steps that lead into the temple, guitar on her lap and just picking aimlessly at the strings. She saw them coming and got her mind straight and stopped goofing around. Off the top of her head she began to play. The tune had a very intricate cadence and a deliciously exotic flavor.

The lot of them stood and listened for a moment. When Andrea began to add vocals, in a much higher pitch than anyone thought she was capable of reaching, Jamie found the cadence and offered Rikku to dance. Of course she took it, why wouldn't she? Paine eventually relented to Baralai's request and danced with him as well. Yuna, seeing as she didn't have a partner, sat next to Andrea and was her back up vocalist. Surprisingly she was on key the whole time. Her pitch and harmony was damn near perfect.

Jamie held Rikku to him and stepped in time, not exactly sure how he was managing not to step on her toes. He dwelled in the moment he was immersed in, content, happy…like he'd at last come home after being stuck out in the rain for ever. He snapped out of his world of salad and egg noodles when he felt Rikku's hand beneath his duster in plunging deeper unto the rear of his pants.

"W-what are you doing?" he said quietly.

"Don't think I didn't notice you feeling me up in there," she snickered. "You know what they say; 'Turn about is foreplay'."

"Don't you mean fair play?"

"Same thing,"

Afterwards they gathered and had a fine spread of food. Tidus had returned in a rather bad state, saying that Lani had indeed tried to say "Blitzball"; however that wasn't the only thing she was trying to say. As were fatherly instincts, he was inclined to understand baby gibberish. Turns out Lani was trying to say "Biss-bah suss"; translation being that Blitzball Sucks. Yuna did her utmost best to hide her joy at the new knowledge.

Again Dragon wasn't there, and the others were beginning to wonder where he'd gone. When Baralai asked about him aloud, everyone but Andrea shook there head. The Guardian of life and death made little motion to even acknowledge the question being asked.

"Alright, Andrea, what did you do?" Rikku seemed like she knew the whole story already.

"I didn't do shit! Get off my back," she snapped back.

Andrea looked up and saw everyone's eyes boring holes into her. She couldn't help but feel like they all knew what was going on. Of course there was no way they could, but she still had that feeling.

"Fine, I'll go," she grumbled, saying a few choice words as she threw back the flap coving the entrance to the hut and left. She was fuming, stomping her way out of the village. She had a good feeling where Dragon had gone. Needless to say she was correct, and she found him sitting on the beach. Man, the shore of Besaid had to be bleeding angst out the ears by now, huh?

"The others were worried about you so they sent me to find you."

"That's good, I'm glad you're here."

"Why is that? Wanna make fun of me again?"

"I never intended to hurt you!" Dragon turned, his eyes narrowed and his fangs bared. There was even a growl in his voice. It almost scared her, but not quite. "I would never,"

"Well you did last night, thanks a heap."

"What would it take to convince you?" he asked desperately.

"Look," she said after a very heavy shrug. "Don't get me wrong, I want to believe you're telling me the truth…but I just can't see how," she shook her head and then looked at him evenly. "Prove it to me."

"How? I'll do anything!"

Andrea stood for a moment, staring at the sand with her arms crossed over her chest. Dragon waited anxiously, his front legs unable to stay in one place for more than a short wink of a moment.

"Answer this question honestly, that's all." She said finally.

"Anything!"

She took a deep breath and gave him that serious, even look a second time. "What was the only thing Dennis never did?"

At first her fellow Guardian looked surprised, like he hadn't the slightest idea what she was talking about. The longest moment of silence passed between them in only a few seconds that had suddenly become several minutes.

Andrea finally laughed an emotionless laugh and turned away from him, shaking her head. "That's okay, Dragon. I'll forgive you this time, but you try to pull this again, you and me are gonna have it out," she joked half seriously.

"Andrea, wait!"

Andrea froze when she felt a pair of hands grab her by the upper arms. She looked down, expecting to see Dragon's scaly claws, but didn't. Her heart twisted into knot when she saw human hands, without claws. On one wrist was a gold chain, and on the third finger of the left hand was a gold ring. She didn't notice her bottom jaw losing its lock and falling slack. She felt a chest against her back, a warm shroud of skin with a heartbeat underneath.

"I remember what I never did," it still sounded like Dragon, and yet it didn't. What was going on? This couldn't be happening. "I remember,"

"What was it?"

"I never feared you,"

It felt like a two ton cement block just landed into the pit of her stomach. She couldn't move and a hot tear ran from the corner of her without her having willed it. The hands curled to her arms pulled at her, forcing her into an about-face. She looked up, saw what was there, but still couldn't believe it. How could this be possible?

"I couldn't fear you, because I loved you too much."

"Oh my god…" she could hardly speak at all. "But…_how_?"

"I am Dragon; I was born a Guardian, Andrea. I couldn't be killed. Instead I just went into hibernation, so to speak."

"But you stopped breathing, your heart stopped for crying out loud! Ixion left you!"

"I know, I know, but that doesn't matter now,"

"Doesn't matter?!"

"No, it doesn't, because I'm here where I need to be and that's the important thing. Now, if my memory serves correctly, you were wearing this stunning white dress and we'd just gotten to the part where I get to kiss the bride."

"Actually, we had just passed that part,"

"So what," and he kissed her.

Andrea lost all the feeling in her legs and her knees buckled beneath her. Dennis laughed as he caught her. Their kiss deepened, became almost frantic. Both lost themselves in reunion of the deepest kind. The world around them was little more than a blur now.

"Hey, hate to ruin the moment, but," Someone started talking from seemingly out of nowhere. "You think before you two go off and shag so hard you shake the foundations of creation you could come back to the village? I mean, we're in the middle of dinner!"

Andrea ripped herself back to reality and looked back to see the whole lot of them standing there, watching. She saw Eve tugging on her mother's hand, getting Rikku's attention.

"Mom, why is scaly butt trying to suck Bird Lady's face off?"

"It's just what they do, honey."

_(II)_

Some months passed since then. Almost six to be particular. On a whim, or perhaps on notion homesickness, everyone piled up on the Pickle and headed out to Besaid. Eve stayed behind with Celeste to watch her. When Rikku and Jamie asked why, Eve said that she wanted to -brace yourself- work on her constipation with the people. After a good, hearty giggle fit, they could tell she meant "reputation", but of course she was convinced she'd already said that as plainly as possible.

They arrived on the island as they had many times before and spent the evening in good company as always, retiring late that night.

Dennis woke to find the other side of the bed empty. Curious and confused, he got up and went outside to look around. He saw Yuna and Tidus sitting outside together, and it seemed that Baralai had been left alone with the High Summoner and her family. There was no sign of Rikku or Jamie.

"Morning, Dennis," He smiled to the High Summoner who greeted him and casually walked over to her.

"Any idea where my wayward wife has wandered off to?"

"Haven't seen her since last night. Did you hear that racket?"

"What racket? I didn't hear anything."

"It sounded like something was dying out there, kind of scary actually."

"Oh yeah? Huh…maybe a couple of fiends were having a disagreement."

They each nodded their heads, finding that a plausible cause. Dennis' mind dwelled elsewhere for only a moment. Only long enough for him to notice how big Baralai's eyes had suddenly become. He was obviously looking at something shocking if not down right terrifying.

"Paine…your hair,"

Everyone looked to see the warrior standing there, her hair having somehow managed to turn itself white again.

"What's the matter, Paine?" Yuna asked, not sure how to react to what she was looking at. True, she looked better with her original hair color, but she had almost grown to like the pink. Not to mention it would take something incredible to scare Paine, much less scare the color out of her hair.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," and Paine shivered. "It's just…whoa."

Baralai stood and helped his wife sit down, trying to coax an explanation out of her.

"You'd have to see it for yourself."

"C'mon, Paine, tell us what you saw." Dennis urged.

Paine looked up at the Guardian and nodded. "All I can say is you go, man. You should be damn proud of yourself."

"What?"

Paine shook her head hard, trying to get her thoughts straight. "The ruins near the beach, Andrea is waiting for you there."

He was off like a flash, running as fast as his legs would carry him. He didn't have a feeling of dread, but something deep down convinced him it was something to get excited about. Shortly after he had gone, Rikku emerged from sleep out into the open, scratching her head and yawning her greeting to all.

"Whoa, Paine, what the hell happened to your hair?"

"I got the color scared out."

"What? You, scared? The hell you say!"

"No joke."

"What happened?"

"The only reason why I wouldn't say before is because I didn't want to ruin the surprise for Dennis." Her demeanor had calmed and leveled out suddenly. "I think I know what those strange noises were last night."

"What?"

"I saw Andrea…with an egg. A large one mind you. And she was…lying in a nest."

"Umm…I don't follow," Rikku said.

But Dennis knew right away what it meant when he saw it. Andrea was indeed cradling a large, blue speckled egg in her lap. When she was aware of his presence she looked up and smiled at him. He rushed over, almost tripped, and knelt at her side, smiling and trying to hold back tears. He hugged and kissed her, holding her close.

"How long have you known? I mean, we just made love the other night and I had no idea!"

"I think I've known for a while…when you were gone. I wasn't sure then because it was anything but normal. But deep down I had a feeling."

"I love you so much, Andrea." He kissed her forehead. "Thank you,"

She only smiled and chuckled a bit. "Wanna hold it?"

"Of course I do!" he was so excited. He took the egg gently into his arms and rested it against his chest, like any new father with any newborn baby. Technically it wasn't born yet, but I'll be damned if I get technical right now.

He smiled and cried all at once, not sure which he should do first. The only moment he could think of that could possibly be more important than this was marrying the dear woman that had given him this wonderful gift. With the egg nestled in one arm, he wove the other around his wife and held her close. Andrea put an arm beneath his and also supported the egg. The image the family created at that moment was beautiful enough to make a demon cry.

They rested together in the nest that morning, the two Guardians entwined by life and limb with their new beginning at the center between them.

_(II)_

"Do you honestly think we should submit this?" flaming-dingleberry asked, looking at the finished work on his computer.

"I don't know," Shadoobie said. "Don't you think we'll get sued from all of the movie copyrights we've violated, the childhoods we've killed, and the spirits we've crushed?"

"Maybe," FDB responded. "I think we should just keep this to ourselves." FDB stood and started out the door.

Just then, a little football-headed baby wearing red overalls and a yellow shirt ran up to the computer, typed a few things, and clicked send. The baby turned back at the two authors and said, "You guys are gonna get frikkin sued!"

"Oh, shit," FDB and Shadoobie said in unison. They looked at each other sullenly, knowing that an unstoppable tirade of lawsuits lay in their future..

"Wanna play strip poker?" Shadoobie asked.

"Sure," FDB answered. "As long as I get to deal."

_**THE F-KIN END**_

Now, go away kids. Get outta here. You bother me.

Authors' Note: Don't know if there's anymore to do with this. Perhaps there will be a short spoof or two after this chapter, but who knows. And chances are good that there will be a sequel to this too. It's in very early stages of planning, but will so far be titled "Fury of the Storm". We'll see of course. Well, hope all of you have enjoyed the tale we've woven so meticulously with sick twisted humor and overwhelmingly unnecessary angst. Thank you for reading.


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